Monday, November 1, 2010

Doing a Bit of Spinning

The sense of control that I have always resurrected with my previous fills is not happening this time. I am feeling a tad frustrated. I need to get my head on straight but am having a hell of a time getting it done.

Now I am not a total negative thing. This last fill is keeping my weight right at 166-68. I am happy about that. I have clothes that fit comfortably and nicely. The food however is not good. I am not eating meals but instead snacking on sub-optimal foods. It is weird really because my old no-go foods or foods that have always been limited by the band seem to have now changed.

I can eat cookies, muffins doughnut holes, and candy with no ill effects. It is more difficult to eat 'real' food than it was before my latest fill. For lunch I only managed 1/2 a chicken taco and dinner was tuna salad with sweet pickles. I have been compelled to then eat a plethora of snacks in between these small meals. Today I was decent until about lunch and then lost the plot.

my lightbulb moment-In the midst of all of my cocky self-patting and being high on success I forgot one little thing. The weight will not stay off effortlessly. I will need to pay attention to nutrition and healthy eating for the rest of my life. I have learned that food is not really that important. a skipped meal is meaningless but what I choose to put in my mouth when I choose to put it in there is very important. That food needs to be nutritious, delicious and of high quality. Failing to plan for that and think it through is failing myself. In failing myself I will not only fail to keep the weight off but I will also fail to nourish myself and risk osteoporosis (that bit is a direct quote from my nurse) among other nutritional deficiencies.

I am currently spiraling out of food control because I am not attending to this importance. Man where are you boobs when I need a good slap on the back of the head.


Lonicera said...

But that's why you got a lapband... because you couldn't eat sensibly and stay at a reasonable weight. You were "good" foodchoice wise for a long time, and you lost the weight. But the habits remain forever, I think we'll always beating ourselves up about our craving for junk food. I think you'll just go through good phases and bad phases, and the good ones will outweigh the bad. And I'd like to be proved wrong that conditions such as osteoporosis aren't already pre-programmed in your body long before your forties anyway. (??)

Jen said...

Didja Feel THAT?
It was me. A BOOB, Smacking you upside the back of the head.
C'Mon, you know what you should be eating. I know it's SO FRUSTRATING to be able to eat the crap but not the good protein laden foods. BUT - you can choose softer protien...try Soup... in the meantime.
Please contact me,I have something for you!!

Sandy Lee said...

Well said. I'm at the same spot trying to eat well. I think somehow my subconscious thought we were done with the "diet" (and I use that word like a four letter word) and now it was time to go back to regular eating. And that means crap. I have stayed in the low 170's for two months now and really have to either stay there with healthy food or move into the next push. I am going back to planning menus again and making my small container for the freezer so I have no excuses to eat out or grab the snacks. Snacks are getting to be my downfall. I don't need them and they take the edge off my hunger so I don't enjoy the next meal. If only the band came with instructions on how to get through the brain stuff. But at least blogging helps.