The Right Path is Back in View

Today was better. After a third night of horrible acid indigestion because I ate crap into the evening and did not give my tightened band a chance to push it through before going to bed I finally decided that it was time to fly right.

This morning it occurred to me that over time my little banded tummy has become less sensitive. At one time I would have taken credit for this by saying that I had merely figured out that chewing more and eating less was the trick but I am now not so sure. Yesterday I ate two muffins (not huge but not small either) during a morning meeting because I was hungry. I do not think that my chewing or stopping before I ate a whole one can be attributed to this. On the other hand however my evening food sat for hours in my stomach and did not go through until a couple of hours after I was up and running around. In the past that muffin would have lunched back up in no time and now..it goes it stays and it goes through eventually.

As most of us do- I have a little fear (hence my well-behaved behavior today) is that I have done something like stretch my esophagus and there is just flat out more room in there. Who knows if this is the fact. I am always honest at the doctors office and she didn't seem concerned at all but then I am miss golden band child in their office and I think that fact has earned me a golden ticket to whatever I want. I am going to be a model bandster for the next few days and monitor that night acid reflux issue.

I have also come to the conclusion, after a conversation with my daughter that this is enough. Whether I Lost another pound or not I am happy to be a size 10. This last push has made me a little crazy and it is just not worth it. I will carry on with the fill, do what is right food-wise, and get back onto my exercise. If I lose more great if not-this is good enough. I will not get another fill with losing weight in mind. It will only be to maintain.

My next goal is family fitness. These last two years has been about getting my own fitness shit together. Yes we have all learned and changed. Yes they have gained benefit from our turning away from fast food and toward home-cooked healthy meals but still. We can slip back so easily and have lately. My 9 year old needs more than an example from me. She needs someone to help her navigate her own eating and exercise goals and someone to exercise with her.

xxxooo