Sunday, January 31, 2010

Failure On The Roof-Success In The Dirt

Sadly I managed to get up on the roof of our house but the part of the roof with the missing shingles was just too steep to get to. It will take 8 dollars in supplies and probably 100 dollars in labor to get the thing fixed. Instead of fixing the roof I cleaned out the gutters in the front, unclogged one of the downpipes and then dug down a layer of 4 inches on the north side of my house.

The area built up over years of bark dust layers has been up against the siding of our house for quite some time. A couple of years ago we finished half of the job by digging down half of the distance, laying a landscape barrier and pea gravel. The remaining half never got done and as we do...we let it rest for 2 years. It has looked like a dirty, mossy mess since then and I am sure is not helping with the sale of our house. Today I dug the thing out finally. An area about six feet by 12 feet in size. That is 24 cubic feed of dirt. aaackk my arms are sore but I knew if I quit before it was done it might be 2 months before I got back to it.

Still left to finish is to rake up the remaining clods of dirt, laying landscape barrier, getting more pea gravel in and then raking out the dirt in its new location on the south side of our house.

The best news in all of this for me is that in the past when David and I did a project like this I was the lazy partner. I rested between loads and was the wheelbarrow pusher. Conserving all parts of energy use. Today I had enough energy to be the person behind the shovel. I dug and pushed the gravel and clay laden soils without much effort (I did work up a sweat and needed a few rest breaks but I had both the strength and stamina to get the job done).

On the weight front after a rebound high to 204 on Thursday. Yes...I hit 199 last Saturday and rolled right on back up to 204 again in rapid pace. Today the scale read 202. With a more calm eating and exercising regime I am hoping to get back down and beyond my low point again.

I am still not sure if I need a fill or not. I am going to call on Monday and make an appointment for 2-3 weeks out and then give forth a supreme effort to drop down as low on the scale as I can. Hopefully this will get some more fat from around my band and make the decision a solid one.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

A Day Off and Out

We took a family fun day and went to a local movie theater. The Baghdad Theater is an old beautiful venue that McMenamins (a brewpub company) saved from the wrecking ball and turned into a restaurant and pub. there is a photo gallery you can click on right at the bottom of the picture of the outside view of the theater.

The theater has tables in front of all of the seats so you can order food and drinks while you watch your movie. We saw 'Where the Wild things are' and shared a piece of cheese pizza and a small bag of popcorn. It was quite a nice place with plenty of style and for $20.00 We got to see a movie, eat the pizza and popcorn and David had a beer on top of it. We would have paid the same for just a move at the big chain theaters around here.

I do not recommend the movie. We have been a fan of Sendak's books over the years. David loved them when he was a child and Grace did as well. The movie left us all unmoved. It was not really a child's movie at all because it was full of angst and anger. The main character had issues from his parent's divorce and fear over the world ending (the writer's attempt to give us a reason for his violent behavior I guess?). In a somewhat scary scene he loses it and bites his mother on the shoulder as she tries to carry him to his room (not the mild go to your room compliant child of the book). The child (Max) then runs loose through the neighborhood and onto the sea where he finds and takes off in a boat. Nope in this movie it is not a dream it is real. Max then goes off to an island where they eat kings and pretends to be one himself. There are dirt clod fights where the wild things get hurt. I violent wild thing who goes into angry tirades when he is hurt..etc.

The cinematography was great..the butchering of the story..not good at all. The movie left us all unmoved and slightly irritated (Grace was the first to volunteer this evaluation).

After the movie we did some window shopping on the street where the theater was located. Nice gift shops and a branch of our favorite books store Powell's books

All and all a fun and relaxing day.

Coming for your reading and viewing pleasure....a NSV of sorts. I am climbing on my roof to repair to shingles. I will make David take pictures as he holds my ladder!!!

Friday, January 29, 2010


I think it is time to pay greater attention to what is going in my mouth. I went to and signed up to log my activity and food intake. This was recommended by Barbara and "This time I'm doing it for me".

I have never been much good at this daily logging thing but heck..i have been blogging now for more than a year and that is working. Maybe it is time to start logging my food and exercise too. I put it all in and came out under 1000 calories and that included the doughnut from today!! With dinner and my orange juice and vodka this evening I figure i just about hit 1200. Add in 30 minutes on my bike and I am feeling OK. The computer said that if I want to lose the rest of my weight (to 155) by next july I need to be eating 1440 calories a day. I don't think my metabolism is revved up that much but it says it can be done and I am going to roll with it. I will not eat when I am not hungry but as long as I stay under that number I should be fine right??

Today my restriction has been a tad up again. arghghg..this band thing is difficult sometimes. I thought I was in a groove and had things figured out and now here I am facing a new dilemma. I did not call the surgeon for a fill appointment. I am going to do my utmost this weekend to stay on the straight and narrow. Come Monday I will call if I think I need a fill.

Mini Ride On The Food Roller Coaster

I did it. Yesterday I bought a ticket on the crazy train roller coaster. After school I took my daughter to the store. We Bought doughnuts. Carried them home and put them in my kitchen. In two days I have now eaten three. Now I know I would have eaten half the box (why is it we always rationalize these things this way?). This is just two days after I got on here all braggy, braggy talking about how I prefer good food. geeezz was I convincing myself? Can I qualify doughnuts as wholesome good quality food? I think not.

So today-I'm getting off this little mini roller coaster ride. I am calling and making a doctors appointment. and getting back on the slow road.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fill Time?

My weight has been up above 200 again for a few days (I swear it hit 199.6 for the 30 seconds I was on the scale the other day and has not been back there since! I have been wildly going back and forth in the mornings from 204 to 201. #$%$#@# scale :). My restriction has been all over the place but with one consistency. I am eating more, faster and more often. Together these signs say..another fill. Tomorrow I will call and get an appointment. I know it will take at least 2 weeks before they can fit me in and maybe 3 so I will have plenty of time to really sort out whether I am correct or not.

This reduced restrictions makes me feel relieved a little bit as I have been worried for some time that the huge help I get from the band and restriction is going to run out and I will be on my own again having to do this or failing to do this.

The pattern of bandiness I have gradually come to see during this year and a half is this:

early in the band days: Get a fill, eat using my old bad habits. Most of the time things went OK but sometimes something would be too big to get through the slightly reduced hole and I would pb. Occasionally something, like steak, hamburger or roast beef,would get stuck (really stuck) because I chewed it but not enough. These were not pretty experiences. I could drink carefully during a meal.

Middle band days: Though my early band experience I learned to chew better and food was slowed down. I could feel food fill my pouch but during a meal I could wait 10 minutes or so (sometimes less time) and feel the food go through my band and eat some more on top of that. This slowing down process made it so I ate less but still plenty. Soup, ice cream and smoothies were all easy foods to get down and I could really eat as much of these as I liked (not such a good thing). I could wet my mouth during a meal and drink 20 minutes after freely.

First sweet spot: No more sipping on a drink or even a sip to wet my mouth during a meal. I could eat a yogurt and it stayed with me for about 20 minutes. Ice cream and smoothies could only be eaten very slowly. I could eat 1/2 cup of solid food and it took about 30 minutes to pass through my band (with a burp). This satisfied me for 4-6 hours between meals. Chewing was was during this period that I gradually stopped trying to eat bread, lettuce, ground beef (switched to ground turkey).

Refined sweet spots: This is the place I have been at and refilling to, since about last May (I have been here for 6 months off and on). Over this period I have refined my chewing ability, food cutting ability (it is really second nature now most of the time). I have been able to start eating roast beef, steak and bread again but not lettuce or ground beef. During this period I think I have refined my ability to sense when It is time to stop eating. To judge whether I need a fill I use three criteria (that I have come to know my surgeon also uses)..the weight loss test: have I stalled? The quantity of food test: How much can I eat at one time? can I eat more than 1/2 cup? and the How long between hunger test: Am I seeking snacks between meals?

I hit 199 but then launched back up in weight-possible check mark
I ate more than 1/2 a sandwich today for lunch and another yesterday (tuna on David's bread which is not the easiest bread to get down) big check mark
Yesterday I did not snack yesterday but the day before that yes and today a big yes! Calling it a check mark for now

So my worry has been that there will come a time when I stop losing weight but my restriction stays solid. I don't know if I will be able to go on my own and keep losing or if this will be my sign that it is time to stop and start pursuing the tummy tuck I am going to need or what??? I am hoping to at least get out of the obesity scale by then....that 200 mark was it. 170 I would be happy with..160 and I would be ecstatic!


Today I was tired. I was not productive during the day and took a lengthy nap. I am tired again and need to go to bed. Do other's have these days or am I some sort of an oddity?

I used to have these days a lot when my kids were young. Perhaps it is fall out from my granny babysitting yesterday? too much burning the candle at both ends? Winter? I do not know. I am too tired to figure it out :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Ode To My Small Brownie

I just had the most delicious brownie. I made this brownie using some aged baking chocolate in my refrigerator, leftover chocolate chips and walnuts. The purpose of this post is to discuss two huge behavioral changes in my life as a result of this whole band journey thing. I now create high quality foods and I savor them.

I used to be a fast food girl. I frequently ate cheeseburgers at McDonalds. I liked them. I had pizza at Papa Johns or Round Table or Godfathers. I ate Mexican food at Taco bell or from a frozen burrito in my freezer. I also ate at nicer places. Red Robin, Stanfords, Newport Bay...Occasionally my husband and I would splash out the extra cash to eat out at local gourmet places with 'fine' foods made by hand.

Since the band I care about what goes into my mouth. I am getting perhaps two cups of food a day. Although it was not a conscious decision I have gradually come to the place where I refuse to let substandard food to pass my lips. Too many times in last year I have grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on to fill hunger and then found that my quick thoughtless grab of something ended up being all I could eat for dinner (because I filled the space in my stomach). Worse than that..this quick grab of food did not stick with me for long enough and I was then rooting madly in the kitchen 2 or 3 hours later looking for an equally bad choice to shove into my gullet again. If I had just hung on and waited for the real dinner I would have gotten to enjoy my portion of food and adequately eaten enough protein to keep me full for a longer period of time.

The cooking fest that David and I have been on in recent weeks has really forced this idea home for me. This new better way of eating has highlighted how we were eating very badly before (both in quality of food and healthiness of that food). Tonight David and Julia Child made delicious eggs Benedict for dinner. Yes the sauce was fattening (I limited my serving)..but my 3/4 of a normal human serving had protein, it had fat, it had lemon juice (can I count that as a fruit or vegetable?? haha) and a bit of carbohydrate. Most importantly it had taste!

A year ago We would not have made the thing...too much work, too messy in my already messy kitchen and we would both have been too tired to cook anything after a long day at work. A year ago we would have gone out to some location to eat some even more fattening meal mad from low quality ingredients. I would not have even tasted the thing because before the band I did not like poached eggs or vegetables or seafood or ..(you fill in most anything you can think of here).

Conversely This meal was made from fresh eggs and real butter. There were no powdered or frozen ingredients and it cost less than $5.00 for all of us to eat. We have more energy because i am lighter and David is lighter and we now fit in the kitchen at the same time without threatening to kill each other. I now try foods I have never tried before as I try new activities I have never tried before or even have tried and writren off my list (This is crazy but I really think my tastes have changed!).

I made dessert before he came home. It was easy it was quick and the result was eye poppingly delicious. So the question is...does the weightloss and resulting body fight to stay fat cause our brains and taste-buds to make food taste better? or have I gone through some sort of a quantity detox and I now take the time to savor my food and enjoy it? Whichever is the case both David and I have now decided to stay in twice when faced with the opportunity to dine out. We just prefer home-made food more and are willing to go to the work and make it.

This whole post my seem foreign to you foodies..but it is soooo completely outside my realm of life before now that it has me blown away with the idea of it. If you only get a little amount of food make it the best damn food you can get in you..such a simple idea and such a long road to it...what took me so long!!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Just Call Me NIght Rider

Today was, as is every Monday, my work day in Corvallis. We had let the house lapse in cleanliness so after Grace and David went off to school and work I cleaned for an hour and a half. This house for sale stuff is hard work :)..but I love the clean house!

I am sure I could have found more to clean but at 9:30 I had to leave for work in order to make it there by 11:00 for my weekly meeting. Because I had my grading done (1am last night I finished it up) I was free to do all of the jobs I never get done! hooorayyy..I banged through my list and came home arriving around 6:30 pm. David and Grace had already eaten so I had a couple of slices of cheese and 3 triscuits. They went down fine...I thought.

I did not get to ride my bike very much today at work as I managed to score a closer than normal parking spot (and you do not mess with parking karma when a spot awaits you!) I rode about 1/2 mile in total to and from my office. My office mate repacked the bearings in my front wheel for me and more importantly showed me how to do it myself.

When I got home I wanted to do some more riding. I do not know where the energy came from but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth. I found my yet unused light set and put it onto the bike. I called a neighbor who has been asking me to call her if I wanted to ride and we were off. We rode around the neighborhood (I did make it up an equally beastly hill situated as a close neighbor to the hill I am trying to master to pick her up). We rode the 2.2 mile loop around our neighborhood and I was ready to keep going so we decided to ride to our local Safeway for a coffee. This is about a mile away and another pretty decent hill. We made it to Safeway just as the girl closed out her till and she turned us away.

We decided our next stop would be the local pub (OK i coerced my friend into it!). We rode another 1/2 mile using sidewalks as the street we had to travel on is quite busy. We made it to the pub and spent the $7.50 of the $9.50 I had in my coat pocket for a vodka and orange juice (they make them really nice at this pub with fresh squeezed) and a diet coke for my friend.

I hit the pub at 8:30 a full hour after the 2 oz of cheese and 3 crackers. I burped twice during the ride. My stomach should have been empty but did not fully feel empty and I should have listened. I am not sure if the exercise tightened me up or what but lets just say the first 1/4 of my vodka and orange juice did not stay down and some of my dinner did not either. After a visit to the toilet I returned to my seat quite back to normal and finished my drink just fine.

We rode about 1/2 mile home for a total of about 4.2 miles and 5.2 for my day. Scarily enough I could ride more!!! :)

As you might have noticed my daily progress journal now has its own home. those of you interested can pop over for a daily update (more for myself than anyone) and those of you who were also bored by the thing can avoid it.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Down 105 pounds

Nichole is my oldest daughter. The last time I weighed 199 was while I was pregnant with her. I weighed 180 pounds when I first got pregnant and when I was done I weighed 200 pounds. I got pregnant and had Nichole in 1984.

I will add more later today!! woohooooo :)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

First List-

This is the first time I have done one of these but this one was entertaining to read so might be fun to include on my blog. Thanks for the idea Kim, from Fatty McButter Pants :)..I hope I see all of you who read this post the list on your blog too!!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00am (not normal but hubby and I had stats class to attend)

2. How do you like your steak? I used to eat it medium well (I like the charred bits) but these days a little closer to medium is easier to eat.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Up In The Air--George Clooney and traveling-ya gotta love both of those!

4. What is your favorite TV show? Chuck, and cooking programmes. Right now it is Julia and Jacques.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Somewhere in Holland. We visited Amsterdam one Winter and loved it. They seem a family friendly place

6. What did you have for breakfast? Cheese and a few Wheat Thins

7. What is your favorite cuisine? It used to be Italian....but now I have trouble deciding...I now like a little (key word little) bit of everything.

8. What foods do you dislike? I have taken all food off my do not like list until I try them post band. I hated seafood and now I love it. I tried a raw oyster in October and I do not like it.

9. Favorite place to eat? Home has become my favorite place. I do like McMeniman's they are all over the area and have great bars and hotels made in fun and exciting locations (

10. Favorite dressing? ranch

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Mazda 5.

12. What are your favorite clothes? My Everlast yoga pants and layered tank top with a thin t-shirt. For years I was jealous of my thin friends who wore layered shirts. I can now and I love it!!

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? I want to go all over. My husband's and my dream is to buy an around the world ticket. You get to travel in one direction with as many stops as you want until you get home again. We have a half-hatched plan to save our pennies and when David gets his 6 week sabbatical in a few years we will go and do it.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? It depends on the topic and the day.

15. Where would you want to retire? Somewhere warm in the Winter and Warm in the Summer. My husband wants the South of Spain. I want to travel more before I decide.

16. Favorite time of day? Just after dinner in the Summer-I go out and garden. The rest of the year I am a night owl and enjoy all of the hours after the kids are in bed.

17. Where were you born? San Antonio, Texas

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? I do not watch sports. I am trying to learn to like biking.

19. Bird watcher? We have a lot here. cranes, hawks, jays, herons, goldfinches and even the occasional bald eagle. We do not watch in a formal way but do pay attention.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? night person

21. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I think I blab about everything on this thing everyday. I could, but am not sure I should, proclaim that I am quitting my job next year whether I find a new one or not. I might have to start a blog on budgeting for the crazy stay at home mom. I am also risking chickening out like I have for the past two years.

22. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to travel...I did not care how or why but I wanted to go on business trips like my dad.

23. What is your best childhood memory? Spending a few weeks every summer staying at my grandparents farm. My grandparents told me stories about their childhood. My grandpa did math with me. He taught me how to roll a cigarette, cut off a chicken's head, feed sheep, give sheep shots and jump off and on a trailer while it was moving. My grandma taught me to crochet, do word searches, cook, and let me read her trashy novels.

24. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat but hereafter I shall remain petless. I have given them up and will enjoy other peoples animals.

25. Are you married? yes twice. Once for 14 years and this time for 9 so far and still counting

26. Always wear your seat belt? YES-I have had my one chance at being safer without. At 18 i drove off an overpass piercing the driver's side of the car with the end of the guardrail. the rail came into the car and broke two of my ribs. I had stitches and bruised my spleen. I did not have my seat belt on and was pushed to the passenger side of the car. If i had been wearing my belt things would have been much worse. Although I know the math I look upon this event as my one in a million chance of being safer without my seat belt. I wear it always now.

27. Been in a car accident? hahah See above! There have been other minor fender benders.

28. Any pet peeves? Lot of things annoy me but I cannot think of anything specific right now.

29. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Margharita pizza-fresh basil and tomato with buffalo mozzarella.

30. Favorite Flower? Anything but roses-I like ones that last a long time in a vase. Mums, daises. In the dirt I love nasturtiums and geraniums.

31. Favorite ice cream? Lemon pie and Cherry Garcia.
32. Favorite fast food restaurant? Tastee Treat in Prineville Oregon. Thank goodness it is far away. I used to love cheeseburgers. Smelling them and watching others enjoy them is enough these days.

33. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Zero on the written, 3 times for the driving.

34. From whom did you get your last email? My mom.

35. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Never again will I max out my Credit card :)-but if I won the lottery it would be Crate and Barrel.

36. Do anything spontaneous lately? We rented Julie and Julia to watch again with Grace and I made Kettle Corn on the stove.

37. Broccoli? when cooked just right. Steamed gently with a little water at the bottom and the pan tossed with olive oil and spices

38. What was your favorite vacation? So many have been wonderful but I have to divide them into two categories: My favorite by myself trip was to Dresden and Prague. Experiencing a place by yourself or with work colleagues is exciting in a different way than it is with family. My favorite family trip was Christmas to Wales, Brussels and Cologne with David, Cinda and Grace.

39. Last person you went out to dinner with? I had lunch with some girlfriends last Thursday.

40. What are you listening to right now? Julie and Julia..

41. What is your favorite color? Green...summer new grass green.

42. How many tattoos do you have? One of a genie's lamp on my right foot. I got it to celebrate my PhD. It is a lamp of learning signifying teaching and learning. I have a second small one near the lamp planned.

43. Coffee drinker? yup-Starbucks Peppermint mocha no whip.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Road Trip

Today I allowed my daughter to skip school (I know shocking but I am a firm believer in life experiences as educational opportunity). I had to drive to the other side of the mountains to pick up some paperwork and software from teachers (just office stops) and get it back home for data entry. We left via the sunset highway where on a good day (it was raining). You might get the following view:

Once over the pass we drove onto the Warm Springs Indian Reservation. It is tribal tradition to let the horses roam the area on their own. In the Spring there are round ups and tribal members can choose to brand any new horses born. We saw a herd much like this along the highway this morning.

Our first stop was Madras. It is about 20 minutes drive southeast of the Warm Springs reservation. The town is a small farming town.

There are views like this both north and south of Madras.

Main Street

Statue from South Entrance to town.

After our stop in Madras we Drove to Prineville, OR where I had another drop off and pick up task to accomplish. After this was completed Grace and I stopped into the Tastee Treat for lunch.

The Crook County Courthouse-Prinvefille, OR

View of Town

The Prineville Courthouse is a lovely building. The Tastee Treat is right across the street so you get to look at the park that surrounds it and the building itself while you munch on decadent fast food. I settled on the fish out of my fish and chips and Grace devoured her egg salad sandwich and tater-tots. While we were eating the local news came in and wanted to do an interview with the owner about the new facebook data center that is moving to the area. She agreed and the news caster very nicely made sure Grace got some film time. So of course--now there is film footage of my child skipping school! Do you think the truant officers are going to come knocking down my door?

I did not take any of these pictures. They all came from google images and of course the newstation. I really need to carry my camera!!!

Tomorrow I will catch up on the resolutions: Writing about them is beginning to grow stale!!

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I got out and rode for the second day in a row. I still did not make it up the first pain in the rear hill. I got up a couple of peddle cycles more. I did, however make it all the way up my street without stopping. This extra push did require serious lung hacking and a dizzy spell when I finally got off the bike and walked in the front door. Bike riding is weird really. When you are actually riding the bike it seems easier..I cover more ground, more quickly than walking. The difference is, though, that when i get off the bike the fatigue is wayy more severe. When I finish a walk..i might have a bit more blood pumping in my veins but that is about it. When I stepped up onto the threshold of my front door after my bike ride my legs almost collapsed out from underneath me. They really did not hurt that much when I got off the bike just a couple of whet noodles when I tried to use them. When I sat down on the couch (yes I know I should have cooled down)...I felt quite dizzy. It is an and oddity. I do like to ride my bike and I have a much greater urge to do it than I do any other form of exercise so for now..I will keep doing it. I might even...try to train for a race or something that is longer than my neighborhood loop.

We had a mad clean this evening as we have not one but two real estate agents and their clients coming to view our house tomorrow. Things seen to be warming up a bit in the house viewing market at any rate. At this point I should say please keep your fingers crossed that we get an offer but I am not 100% positive I want one anymore :) I am going with a let the chips fall kind of attitude. There are great things about downsizing and great things about staying and I will go with the flow on this one.

I originally wrote my resolutions are beginning to tank a bit but after I wrote it I found that really I am doing is almost like trying to juggle 5 balls..I can only keep three in the air and two seem to fall all the time. I just need more practice juggling :)!

budget-I have had to buy a few things that were not budgeted for and I'm not sure what category they should come from. I think I need to add a pot for 'other' so that I am not taking money from groceries or my (already spent) pot to buy poster board for Graces school or tennis shoes etc.

Time-I worked a bit, socialized with friends a bit and spent quality time with Grace a bit. Just now I am relaxing on the sofa with laptop in lap while David is on his (pretty normal fare for us). We seem to really be getting along well lately-I think it is that we are working on common and shared goals. It is amazing how that can strengthen relationships.

Health-still eating at home, still mostly at the table, exercise is up for me and still going strong for hubby. Grace asked if she could go on a bike ride with me. We will have to plan one after school together.

Work-I did some scheduling, online assistance to students, emailing and paper organizing today. Not frantic but ahhhh just right :)

Craft-I put my yarn away in its living room holder because one had fallen out. NO knitting yet---maybe i can make a start this weekend.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Crazyyyyyyyy Day

I just finished having office hours. Skype is evil trullly evil i tell you. Actually before we got this great idea to hold virtual office hours for the online classes I teach I thought skype was a wonderful invention. Who wouldn't love talking real time with family and friends all around the world. Grace talks to her grandma in Wales with the camera on and it brings a little bit of closeness when family is so far away. Well when you let all of your students in on this skype deal they ask complicated questions at all hours of the night!! :) I just got off skype with one who needed webpage troubleshooting help and I am tired! I will have to start hiding sometimes I think.

Today I burst forth from my slumber (yeah never!!). Grace and David left uneventfully early after we, like a well-oiled machine made breakfast, lunches and dressed. I pushed them out the door and sat with my morning caffeine (Diet coke-hereafter codeword DC). I usually savor the little gem until 10am (yes 8am to 10 am over a single luscious DC). This morning Meghan, my second oldest daughter called at around 9:30 for a pre-job interview pep talk. I graded a paper and then..i actually had the urge...wait for are not going to believe this....seriously.....

ride my bike!!! and I actually did get off my sorry arse and get on the bike and rode it around my neighborhood. I did not shirk the hills. I took off down my street attempted to ride up the assiest hill on the planet (walking up most of it) and then road around the neighborhood adding in a couple of loops for good measure. I walked at the beginning on the F$#$ hill and then again on the I'm almost home hill.

When I got home my next door neighbor (a nice retired guy who likes to talk) met me at my driveway for a bit of a chat. Only..i was too hot from riding my bike and had to take my coat off. then I had to hack up my right and then my left lungs...finally i could actually speak and my neighbor said the nicest thing to me on the planet....sooo how much further on this thin thing are you going to go? and I said ohhh i have a about 50 pounds left to get to the normal range. and he said..ohhh no you will blow away if you do that! :) My neighbor has the tiniest wife from Korea you have ever seen. If she were not over the age of 21 she would not be legal to ride in the front seat of the car! Given that hardly anyone makes comments about my weight loss to my face I am quite pleased with my neighbor right now.

After his wife called him (she was worried he had fallen somewhere out on his walk but instead he was wasting time in front of his house)...I came in the house and went back to work. I had to talk my daughter through her post-job interview update and then my husband on his budgeting research update and then help two students with problem...then pick up grace at school....then more paper grading which I finally finished...then a crisis because my boss decided there was yet another job that I had 'forgotten' to do.....This was followed by more skype help. Poor grace brought her blankets out to the couch and we snuggled underneath while I typed madly and she started a story.

I did not have the energy to clean up after the bunco company and yes this is now 24 hours after (I am toooo tired from the bike ride and work)...I did not spend quality time with my child (even though she was joyfully happy with snuggling on the couch). Oh..we did have a conversation about her unhappiness at school and the girl in puberty talk...Goodness knows why that seemed a good time but I guess I have to take it as it comes...Dinner was made late....Grace went to bed late..and I am sitting her at 11:06 typing my daily blog at a mad pace so I can go to bed.

Craft?? what is craft???I think I bought some yarn a while back but I'm not sure where it is?? :)

goodnight everyone..tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A pound is a pound..

My tight day yesterday resulted in a pound off. and my body appears to have fought back today with the snackiest urges ever. Although I did not eat a vast quantity of food I kept a steady stream of crap in for much of the day. A piece of my husband's Anna Dama bread for breakfast (it was a mini loaf and quite crunchy). mid morning I cracked into some @$#%$% peanut M & M's I bought for the bunco night I was hosting. Probably ate 12-15 of them. I had 2 oz of cheddar cheese and 5 wheat thin crackers for lunch. Had 7 more of the darned m& m's and then took my grandson and youngest to the ice cream shop for a cone. I am still quite tight so much so that I struggled a bit with a scoop of ice cream. I gave up and gave my grandson the cone part of the thing.

This evening I hosted our neighborhood bunco group. For them I served one of my quiche's (made this weekend) and made some of what I call Texas Nacho's. My mom used to make them for parties when I was small. Pan fried quartered corn tortillas until crispy. sprinkle on cheese (she used velveeta I use cheddar). Place a pickled jalapeno pepper slice and bake until the cheese goes bubbly. I ate 4 of those nachos and probably 10 more M&M's. I also drank a vodka an orange juice (before I ate anything of course!). I skipped all of the other snacks and food laying around and I suppose that is good as I know for a fact a year ago I would have started sucking down all of the food after everyone had left.

So now I am sitting here at midnight-I put the perishables away but I am too tired to really clean up. I ate wayyy too much crap today and will probably pay some sort of a price with a pound up on the scale tomorrow or some other penance. I'm even too tired to report on the new years resolutions..Damn..i have to...

Health-crap eating for me. David is down 9 pounds. Grace, Grant and I did some indoor running (up and down the hall and couch gymnastics for them).

Work-corrected papers for most of the day. Had a teleconference meeting where I was asked about some task I had never been assigned. Either I am having memory loss or my boss is....I'm kind of worried it might be me.

Craft-looked at my purses and fondled my yarn but no progress. I did stitch a bit on Graces project and talked about her knitting. I am kind of afraid i am not doing it right. Everyone thinks I knit in a freaky way. I think it is called continental but I am not sure because i kind of made it up in combination with what my friend taught me...Ill keep you posted on that one.

Time-Had some great play time with both Grace and Grant today. My house is quite long with two longish hallways and a few loops that we can run around to make circuits. So the three of us ran up and down the hallways and around doorways playing hide and seek and what we call 'boo' where we hopped out and yelled boo at each other. It was all good fun and Grant loved it. We took a hop outside when we had a brief hail storm and stomped in some mud puddles and took a few swipes at the water in my bird bath. Finally we all came back in the house and Grace and Grant climbed on a foot stool positioned as an endtable and did headers onto my couch over the arm. I sat at the end and caught them then they rolled off to run around and climb on again. it was all good fun and we laughed quite a bit. Towards the end Grace stopped, looked at me and said. "you know mom we sure laugh a lot more than we used to".....Right there is why I need to keep up with these resolutions- especially the time one.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Birth Control and the Band

I use a Nuva ring to control some peri-menopausal bleeding issue I have been having for the past two and 1/2 years. The first year I used a ring every month just as any fertile woman would do. I am not a very pleasant person on the pill. It messes with my hormones and I turn into a bitch and lets just say a convent would suit me just fine.

I had a tubal when I had my youngest daughter because I decided to quit the baby making business for good. Needless to say this whole need to use birth control seems a waste of time and is annoying given the side effects and the seeming uselessness of the whole thing.

About a year ago I went back into the gynecologists office to see if there was anything that could be done about the situation. After four c-sections my 'equipment' is a tad scarred up. A D & C is out of the question. The doctor scared the crap out of me concerning a hysterectomy. I am not sure this was a valid fear to convey but for now I am rolling with it.

A solution to my poor family's suffering :) I have for the last 8 months or so used the pill off and on every other month. I have no period one month (this is the only positive side effect from the thing!) and then a slightly heavy one the next which is tempered by going back to the Nuva Ring.

Which finally brings me to the point of this long diatribe. Today I started the first day of my 'off ring' month. I think hormones mess with my tightness big time. I have slammed shut and I LOVE it! I am back to the level where I do not really feel hunger and a small amount of food does me just fine. My lunch took ages to go through my band and it is currently dinner time. All I am interested in is my glass of orange juice and vodka at this point. Thus far today I have had 2 inches of a turkey and cheese baguette sandwich and three bites of macaroni salad my daughter shared with me. Grace ended up eating the rest of my sandwich. I will try and get some dinner down (more quiche) a little later this evening and should be good for the day. I might try and chase it all with a protein shake just to up my protein levels.

I did not expect this to happen. This lapband is a wild ride where sometimes the variability of the band tightness is maddening while at other times it feels like I have been given a gift to motivate me forward!!

Health-still no exercise but I will get on the wii tonight (why do I hate it so?). We did not eat dinner at the table as Grace and I weren't hungry and David was. Our biggest effort of exercise was a shopping trip.

Budget-We showed the house today and when I walked out I left my grocery money behind. We took pop cans back for our deposit money and I left them in my pocket. I spent money off the debit card that was not supposed to be spent and will have to deposit to make up for it or horrible mess up the plan...ahh I'm a bad budgeteer. Grace had the day off from school so she and I spent some quality time shopping and spending the money we weren't supposed to spend. I found a nice pair of shoes (for interviews of course!). She needed and found a pair of tennis shoes. Both of these were on 50% off the clearance price. I got 4 primrose and 4 pansies to put into my doorway flowerpots (we need curb appeal right!) and then I got some groceries that David forgot.

Work-I will finish grading the papers tonight..honest. I stayed up quite late last night working away on them. I have articles to organize on Zotero as well.

Time-the monkey is stalking me. Grace and I shopped (good). I am going to show her how to knit (or attempt to show) this evening after she sorts out a box of junk in her room. David and I will spend a cozy evening ensconced in our respective computers siting side by side on the couch. Maybe I will send him a google message just so we can feel closer (sarcasm is dripping here!! :))...but I do really need to get work done and I know he wants to start on the taxes (wait for that post and I will explain our yearly argument pattern).

Craft: woohooo I washed the purse and strap. I even put in a failed purse for another run in the washing machine to see if I can improve it. Grace was suitably impressed and wants ownership of the once large but now small bag I felted. The pattern for my new sweater project is being held hostage at my friends house. I need to walk up and retrieve it!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Nice Day

I love Sundays. It is the only day of the week where free sleeping in can be had and rarely have we made plans that require going out and doing anything. It is truly a day to do as we please.

On this Sunday I woke at 8:30 and did a bit of the grading I put off over the last couple of days. Nichole and my grandson Grant came to visit. He is just learning to talk and is hilarious as he comes up and has what he thinks are completely lucid conversations that are only really half understandable. He copies almost every word said and then practices it with diligence. I love 2 year olds. They have so much joie d vive and silliness all rolled into one.

David took Grace off to the grocery store to pick up our weekly shopping list and Nichole and I worked (she grading her papers and I grading my math ed students papers) while Grant took his afternoon nap.

After lunch a friend and I took a run back to the Twisted shop (they were having a sale) and then off to the local fabric and craft store for needles to start our sweater projects. Except for one needle size that the store did not have we are set to go. I bought some more yarn (I am sooo naughty I know) that I like better than my first set. I am now stocked to make two sweaters! I will make a cardigan out of a dark foresty green and a wrap sweater our of a hand painted yarn that goes from lime to olive and then a darkish avacado color (very hard to explain but I love it).

I did not really have to cook dinner this evening as we have a fridge full of food for the week and leftovers besides. Grace turned her nose up at each and every one of them preferring a grilled cheese sandwich instead. I do love a good grilled cheese but that is not going to be good enough to sustain her this week. I wish I could figure out how to get kids to eat. She helped to make the darned quiche and still won't eat it!

Budget-other than my yarn shop spree we are still on target this week. Our grocery shopping was excellent and on target money wise. We have not really spent anything else.

Work-did a little but definitely will need to do some more tonight. I did not do my 5 references last night opting instead to waste time on facebook and then go to bed.

Health-food is OK but my exercise has been dismal since I got home. I felt an urge to go out today and take a ride but the work monkey hanging on my back kept me in (not sure if it was the avoidance monkey instead!). I am doing so well in most of my other improvement areas I need to really work on the exercise for myself. David and Grace are still doing pretty well. David especially has been hard at his healthy eating and exercising and is down 7.5 pounds..woohoo :)

Time-David spend quality grocery time with Grace today and I spent quality time with Nichole and Grant. I am going to spend a little bit of time in Nichole's class next week as a guest speaker :) It should be fun! I have got to harness the success I am having with craft with my work instead of dropping one for the other.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A House Cleaning Session-

No weight change, not much happening today except the normal up from bed at 7am to go to our Saturday Statistics class. Well-then we got home and started cooking lunch (David is a hot lunch kind of I like a cold sandwich). In the midst of chili thawing and rice cooking we got a call from our Realtor who wanted to show our house Eekkk...We have kept the house clean as far as clean for a family of 3 or sometimes 4 does with a gradual increase in couch side papers and books, mail on the china cupboard etc. The house was not show worthy. This is the first showing since just after Thanksgiving. We dashed for an hour and a half to get all the stuff ready that we could manage and then left to take some stuff back to the store and waste time away.

My neighbor and friend said that since I was kind of over the idea of selling the house now and starting to think in other directions we would likely get an offer this time (one of those Sods law situations). We have not received a phone call as yet.

Finance-spent a little bit on lunch out for Grace and pop for David and I. but after running around town for a bit we came home and dug in the freezer to see what meals could be made from that stuff in the bottom of a chest freezer you always forget is there. We can eat off the darn thing for most of this week. I prepared two quiches and a shepards pie for tomorrow and next week. We also have some fish, bacon and other odds and ends still near the bottom of the freezer.

Health-a good tight band day. I did not ride my bike (day number 2)..I'm feeling guilty. The dinner planning is good though. We will have food ready in the fridge for most of the week (dinner and lunches to carry). David is running on the treadmill and Grace played a bit on the wii. We all ate our Bacon and tomato sandwiches for dinner.

Work-oh I suck big time ...Need to grade.....I will enter 5 articles into the new referencing system tonight though.

Craft-talked to friend who still needs her yarn and needles. I need needles as well so we will go into the new yarn store and have a shop tomorrow.

Time Management-Spent quality shopping time with Grace. Cooked with Grace. She helped us make the quiches and toast for dinner. We also played a game of home-made mancala after dinner. We need to stay on top of the cleaning better though.

Friday, January 15, 2010


This morning was my catch up news. For me I also need to put down my progress. I got a little sloppy while in San Francisco and My attitude slipped along with it. This planning for success stuff is crazy good :) I always used to take quite a bit of pride in the fact that I was a go with the flow unplanned person. Well if the last two weeks are anything to go by I was a nutter to think that. Planning helps you accomplish stuff...Now I fully plan on maintaining my openness to spontaneity but as far as daily living is concerned I am a planning convert.


Health-down 1 pound. fairly good level of band tightness today. Cinda cooked tamales and a vegetable sauce for dinner. I ate 1/2a tamale (about 2 oz. with 1/4 cup of veges and a dollop of light sour cream. I had 3oz of garlic cheddar cheese curds for lunch (a tasty find from the health food store). my orange juice and vodka after dinner and a small piece of apple cake that Cinda baked yesterday. I thought about the bike but my bum is a tad sore and achy. other than some water and two Diet Cokes that is all I ingested for today.

David put his exercise off until just now (10pm). Grace played with two friends after school today and did not do much running around. We did all eat our dinner at the table and even ate with one of Cinda's friends too.

Budget-David put together a spreadsheet, estimated his yearly bonus and figured out how quickly we could pay off all debts and start saving. I got our cash out of the bank for the next two weeks and divvied it up into the appropriate envelopes. I promptly blew most of my allowance on yarn to make my sweater (see craft :)). The good news is that by the end of February life will be debt free and we will be sitting pretty with only a house payment. We have tentative ideas of staying in this house for a while (the market sucks and we have had no bites at its current sale price). If we commit to the next 4-5 years it would make sense to refinance it to a 10 year mortgage at a better interest rate than we currently have. All tentative...all in thought but still nice to think about.

Family time-I went shopping with Cinda in the end. I found my sweater yarn at a cool yarn store on the East side of the river ( I got a nice dark green that I am really happy with and think will not drive me insane on this long sweater project. After my big purchase we went to a nearby fabric store for Cinda to look at fabric for an in the planning stages quilt.

Craft-I did not felt the purse parts yet but I did buy my yarn for the next project. It was a bit spendy..$90 dollars!! but the yarn is wool and I love the color. I will just have to make sure i love the sweater!!! I might pop in this new yarn shop tomorrow for another look around as they are having a sale and there were some lovely yarns in bins that I only half looked at today because of sticker shock on what I did buy. I did not have my patterns with me so could not get any necessary needles.

Work-I just downloaded Zotero. It is a reference database software that I have been told is really, really nifty. It will automatically do my bibliography citations and keep track of downloaded articles and pick up references off the web. all together a piece of software to make a researchers heart go pitter patter. I did not finish grading the online course that needs doing. I can tell I will be working this weekend. I also have a web course to develop and my own web design project to get done!!

Home Again and Band Spazz

I got home last night late. It was a really long week of driving and I was very tired and grouchy when I got home (I still am actually :)).

My band was the most unpredictable piece of equipment on the planet. I have thus far not named the thing but Hildegaard has always been the name I would choose as that name reminds me of the iconic big boned tough trainers and people who give those hardcore beat you to death massages. Well Hildegaard was a fitting name for the thing this week.

Monday I opened up when I drove to the other side of the state then closed up a bit in the evening. Tuesday I was wide open (hence the last post). I ate and snacked the whole way down to San Francisco. Wednesday was the same. I got up and ate 3/4 of an English muffin with Cream cheese from the breakfast buffet (the choices were crap)without even blinking and could have eaten more. For lunch we went out and I ordered a delicious fish sandwich where I proceeded to chow down on the fish portion only with tarter sauce (it was probably a 6 oz. piece of fish. I ate almost all of it and chased it with some popcorn 1/2 and hour later.

In the evening we went with friends out for a drink where I gulped down one vodka and orange juice and when it did not seemed to have any effect I had a second. This one kicked my backside and hard. I stopped but got exceedingly hungry after. We returned to the ferry terminal only to find everything had closed (it was only 6pm!!!). We found a coffee shop and I bought a pastry. At that exact moment my stomach decided to give me the one-two punch and close up tighter than a drum. I managed two bites of the pasty and handed it over to my office-mate who proceeded to eat my yummy pastry :(.

This was followed by a wave of stomach pain (mine). I think I have talked about having this issue before. It comes from below the band and feels like someone is blowing up my stomach with a bicycle pump from below only there is a cap on my stomach opening and no air can escape. The pain grew and grew. I finally walked outside hoping the air would cure what ailed me. I then realized that hurling was probably going to happen so looked frantically for an empty spot off the dock without romantic couples sitting on benches right next to me...(there were none!!! Too many damned couples were having smoochy next to the piers!!! aaaaaaarckckck....Finally I let out one of those embarrassing big burps (but much less embarrassing than a barf off the pier). The pain receded with a couple of more burps while walking back to the ferry terminal.

My office mate is on board with the whole band thing so during this whole frantic session (now remember I was slightly drunk and walking quickly from dock edge to dock edge seeking an empty spot). He stood somewhere in the middle monitoring that I did not fall in but too afraid to come near me as he did not want to be the recipient of my hurling!! :).

Yesterday we went for our bike ride Thursday Morning. My office-mate could have a career as a trainer as he kept (in a very nice way) pushing me to go further and further until we both covered 4.8 miles. Obviously my next goal is going to have to be 5 miles. My office-mate had a cool little device that hooked to his bike that kept track of how far we had traveled, our average speed and the fastest and slowest we traveled during the ride. I want one now!! :) It was very cool to see the stats after I finished the ride and I rode much further than it felt like.

The resolution goals:

Work-I was on a work trip so there is some argument that I could make for saying I was getting all kinds of work down. However I have online courses to get on board as students are leaving questions and grading to do and discussions to check in on. I figure this will take all day to finish.

Time -I need to work all day today however my third daughter, Cinda, is home from college with her friend and wants me to go to the fabric, craft and yarn stores with her today. I want to go but work is looming over my head. I will probably compromise both and go for a while. It is a three day weekend (no school on Monday).

Budget-I blew through the rest of my pocket money (I started with $100 on January 1. Had $60 when I left for San Francisco. I took out $40 more when I thought I ran out Wednesday night but on Thursday morning I found $20 that I put away in another pocket. I have $20 left and am pretty proud of myself as I used the money for food, coffees, drinks, ferry fees etc. After I got home I checked our envelopes and we have money left in each of the categories. The plan is that money will be dumped into a savings envelope and I will refill each envelope with our budgeted amounts. The savings envelope will then become the fund for big things. We have yet to make a list of what it is we want with this money and need to do that.

Craft-I need to put the purse and straps into the washer today. If I go shopping I will be making progress on the new knitting project as well.

Family Health-I am down 1 pound despite the wild band ride this week. My husband is down a total of 6 pounds but grumbling about how it is not coming off fast enough (I gave him a hard time about getting on the diet roller coaster for complaining about 6 pounds in two weeks!!!). As I was gone I do not know if Grace has been getting on the wii or even eating very well. From what I hear they ate dinner at home but David slipped and did not have them eat at the table while I was gone.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

aaaaaaaaaahhhhh The Fill is Gone

I just arrived in San Francisco after a 9 hour drive from Central Oregon. I did not do well today food-wise. I snacked almost the whole way! My stomach is back to rumbling in hunger (it has been a really long time since that happened)and it is freaking me out a little. I still feel full after a reasonably small amount of food (1/2 a sandwich) but I get very hungry very quickly.

Tomorrow my office mate and I (we drove down together) will take the ferry into San Francisco and a trolley up to the conference center. We speak at 10:30 am for a sum total of 15 minutes and then we will have the rest of the day to attend other sessions, hang out with colleagues or escape and run around San Francisco if we want to.

I believe I have said before that my office-mate is really into biking. we both brought our bikes on the top of his car and we are staying at the hotel where I stayed in October with a bike trail right behind it. Exercise will be a part of this trip even if stellar food quantities will not be.

As far as the resolutions are going it is a bit of a mixed bag since i am out of town:

Craft-the purse is all knitted now. On the drive down here I knitted 9 feet of i-chord for the straps and finished the bag itself before I Left Oregon. When I get home I will throw it into the washing machine and see what I get. If I get the chance while I am here I will look for yarn for my next sweater project.

Budget-Well I still money left from my two week allowance (David and I picked a number of dollars and we are responsible for eating off of it, buying coffees or whatever else we need as a slush fund for two weeks. This is going to be made mroe difficult since I am out of town and do not have the option of eating from home. I will do my best and pull extra money out if necessary I guess.

Work-well this is a work conference (math conference!) and I have stayed on top of emails. I do have grading to do while i am here and probably discussion reading from this weeks online course-work (I am teaching two classes this term).

Family Health-I'm not home :) but my health if going to the dogs!!! food food every where...i am dying for foooooooooodddddddd. At this rate I am not going to make 199 any time soon.

Time-Im taking some great social and by myself :)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Getting Ready For a Road Trip and Yesterday Wrap Up

Goals Report

Crafting Weekend:
I went off yarn shopping with a friend yesterday afternoon. We found a couple of cardigan patterns to try our hand at and then attempted getting the yarn for them at some of the less expensive craft stores in our area. My dilemma is that I need close to 1200 yards of yarn and I want something nice (wool) but I do not want to shell out $100 dollars for the yarn! There is a heck of a lot of synthetic plasticy yard for sale in the world. In the end I did not find what I want. I want a nice dark sage-like green but no one had it for a decent price. I might just have to save my money and bite the bullet. I am going to spend hours on the darn thing. On the other hand I do not want to throw my money away if It doesn't turn out.

Last night Grace went and spent the night at a friends house. Today when she came back she had her friend and friends mom in tow to get help with altering a doll dress to fit an American Girl doll. The dress was on the small side and did not have a big enough back opening to get it over the dolls arms. I unstitched the dress and added a longer length of velcro.


Although I skipped on spending on the high cost yarn David and I did go out to the movies last night. I suggested we add in dinner out be neither of us felt like going anywhere (this is veryyyy strange for us and I am quite proud!!). We saw Up In the Air. David and I both love to travel so instead of the movie message getting through to us (the isolating nature of life on the road). It made us both get itchy feet and want to stand in front of the big reader boards at our airport and go ourselves!!

Today we took a trip to Ikea (baddddddddd we should not shop when budgeting!). I kept myself under control and was out of there for around $25 dollars. Most of it went to buying Grace some melty beads. I do after all have to support my daughters artistic endeavors right? We also bought a white step stool for the kitchen, some paper plates and napkins that were on sale and meatballs and gravy mix for dinner next week


Tomorrow I will head down to Corvallis and leave my car at my office mates house. We will then drive to the other side of the state to pick up paperwork from the teachers I work with. We will then attend a teacher meeting and drive back to his place where I will sleep in his camper bus which he has kitted out quite nicely but NO BATHROOM--not sure if I can cope with that. At 8am we will hop in his car and drive to San Francisco for a conference where we are presenting on Wednesday. We are staying in Mill Valley and will take the ferry into town (more budget minded planning). On Thursday we will load back up into his car and return home. I have done quite well in catching up with work but have a couple of papers to write and a website to design.

Health-We are still keeping on. I took yesterday off from exercise but David has continued his hour a day and Grace played on it for a while as well. We did park our car at the opposite end of the mall and walked a fair distance to the movie theater last night. Today my weight has held steady and my stomach has caught wind of yesterday's small amount of food. My hunger is back with a vengeance. I hope it is s blip and not a sign that I have already run out of steam on this fill and will need another soon.

Family Time

We just chilled out a bit yesterday and spent time doing separate things in the same room. This is quite common for us and still needs work (its OK some of the time but not most). As I type this Grace is playing with her melty beads while David and I sit on our laptops next to each other on the couch. We will have David's home-made pizza dinner at the table and play a game before she goes off to bed tonight.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


I did it. I was a little worried about taking up my 199th post last night to report my daily resolution progress. I figured I was just tempting fate too much to force the 100 pound loss today. I had trouble sleeping last night and got up at 6am to check to see if I had made the additional pound off (yes I was being a tad psychotic about it). At 5am after a pee I had not taken off the extra pound needed to make 100 today. I was bummed so crawled back into bed and slept a little longer until I had to get up at 7am to get ready for the Saturday class (statistics) that my husband and I take together. I know...this was stupid but I got on the scale after another pee and viola!! the scale read 104.4. Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeee Victory!!!!!!!!!!

So today, just less than one year and 5 months since lapband surgery I have lost 100 pounds. Because I do research for a living I have conducted my own non-scientific research study of lapband success (Someday I plan to do this scientifically). My data comes from blogs, discussion boards, research studies, and discussions with my doctor. Today I am going to write about what I think are the keys to losing weight (with or without the lapband). It took the lapband to get my head and body able to do what I needed but I Know people who manage it on their own.

The key-is getting off the roller coaster. Now the problem is you have to get off while it is moving, and you are strapped in. With a nicely filled lapband you get places where that roller coaster slows down on a dip and gives you a chance to jump off. The problem is--if we don't get off the coaster or we don't get fills when we need them to slow the roller coaster down we are doomed to go around on the ride again and again until we do something to make the slow down happen again or pry ourselves off by sheer will alone.

So what does getting off the roller coaster mean? It means stabilizing what we eat, how much we eat and getting off our butts and getting some exercise. It means being patient and thoughtful even when the monkey on your back screams this is not isn't you that is the problem it is the diet or the surgery or all the other multitude of excuses we use on ourselves to push off the fear that we are really weak and all of this fat is our fault. In the end the actions are all us but the mechanisms that push us into those bad habits are so complicated that no one knows what part is us and what part is some evil trick of metabolism and brain chemistry.

Before I had a lapband I ate. I ate goodies when they came into the house. I ate leftovers. I ate full meals at breakfast lunch and dinner and I ate snacks in between. If I wanted dessert I ate it. Much of this I was unaware of. Either I fooled myself into thinking I really did not eat that much or I had a mental block. I rarely felt full I never felt hungry. I ate foods for the drug effect, for the joy of flavors, to stop myself from feeling depressed, to celebrate, to fill the void...and on and on.

After the lapband, with regular fills, I have drastically reduced the amount of food I eat (probably from quarts a day to 2 cups total). I still eat meals with snacks in between. I still eat dessert when I really want to. The difference is I do it slowly and in drastically reduced quantities. I do not really feel hungry but I do get dizzy and this is my hungry feeling. I feel full every time I eat. Sometimes I still eat for all of the reasons I used to but not as often and not nearly as much.

Now because i have very little room. With this drastically reduced quantity I have to pay attention to what I eat. If I want to stay healthy I have to eat enough protein to keep my muscle mass and I have to eat enough vegetables and fruit to keep my bowels movable :)...This task does not leave much room for carbohydrate laden desserts. If I want to stay healthy I have to have one cookie not 10 because there flat out isn't enough room in my stomach to do otherwise (don't think I have mastered this because I have not!!). This change would be undoable right off the bat (I do not know how the rny people cope)..but the gradual decrease in food has allowed me to adjust my expectations over time. I will be honest that there have been times when I cried over my measly meal because my mind wanted more (5 months ago over spaghetti and this Christmas over home-made mac and cheese). I can also tell you-the weight loss is worth the loss of my food ALWAYS.

Before lapband: Breakfast: two pieces of french bread, 2 oz of cheddar cheese Lunch: Cheese burger, Small french Fry, Snack-another cheese sandwich or a couple of cookies or a bag of popcorn., Dinner: Usually out for a full serving of fish and chips or 3-4 pieces of pizza or a full serving of Chicken Tikka Masala. Snack-A bowl of cereal or ice cream.

Today:Breakfast and snack: 5 cheese its, 3 oz. of cheddar cheese Lunch: 1/4 peanut butter and banana Sandwich, Snack: skim peppermint mocha, Dinner: the other 1/4 of peanut butter and banana sandwich. Snack: 1/2-1 cup of popcorn (not my best protein level day but it is what I have eaten today).

Exercise: As the weight comes off you have to move. The doctor harps on this, the books say this. If we don't start to exercise the weight is going to come back. The good news is that the lapband has helped here too. As I ate less I lost weight. as I lost weight I gained more energy as I moved more with that energy I found more energy. In a sense the energy helped me run further and further away from that damned rollercoaster that was keeping me fat in the first place. Another thing that happened is that instead of my body hurting when I moved it now hurts when I sit still. I get out of bed because my bony knees rub and irritate me. I get off the couch because my bony butt falls asleep and I have to get up.

So my advice for you beginners and those who are frustrated-fills are vital. Get small ones often. There is no such thing as a sweet spot. As you lose weight it comes off from your internal organs as well as you ass. That means that your band gets looser as the fat comes off your stomach.

Really try and listen to your body. Can you feel that food go through your stoma during a meal? then you are too loose...the food should go in and stay there for 20-30 min (doctors lecture). Try and listen to when you are full and stop. Your stoma opening is likely the size of a baby aspirin-think about that when you chew. I have just recently gotten to the point when I know I am stuck, or when I have had enough. I rarely throw up from an over-eat. I still get stuck sometimes because i still try to eat stupid stuff like lettuce and hamburger or forget to chew something when I am talking at dinner (I know you guys can do better than I do on this one!!).

Quit chasing new and better weightloss cures. don't drink while you eat, eat protein, eat vegetables. eat carbs. last. Drink water and exercise. I have not been able to find any scientific support for the 'pouch test' is just a way to get more food past your band and make you hungry. Your band was placed to help you get off the roller-coaster. I am off and I am never going back on again!!

Ok I'm now getting down off my soapbox. I hope something somewhere in this huge ramble helps someone out there. It is just as much a reminder for me the next time I am tempted to give up or go off chasing another get thin quick scheme that it is, I hope, something for you all to ponder.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday Progress

Budget-I spend no money today :) the cash in hand system is working great so far! Grace will be needing some tennis shoes soon. That girl is growing like crazy so clothes are in our future as well. The Realtor wanted us to lower the price of our listed house but we said no. He is basing his time on the market through the Christmas holidays. David and I said no we wanted to leave it at its current price. Our plans are to run the contract out fix a few more things and then re-list it in the summer when the market picks up a bit. I am annoyed at the agent however who was told about a week ago that we needed more advertising papers for the sign out front and he has not produced them nor has he sent us his file so we can print them ourselves. He is not doing so well to get our contract again.

Work-Got more grading and commenting done on the two online classes I am teaching. I looked at the rough draft my colleague sent me for our presentation on Wednesday, added a page and it looks great! I started another project report that needs to go to the local government ed office and sent it off for edits. The icy roads kept me from going off to collect project paperwork at schools. I will be gone next week so might have some gap days as I am going to San Francisco for a conference.

Health-well 205...:) good for me. I exercised for 30 min on the Wii, my husband did his hour, Grace did about 30 min. We ate dinner (prepped yesterday) at the table. and although Grace wanted and Ice cream run after school again I resisted (I am a sucker for ice cream and it is doing neither of us any good in the health department). We forgot to put our beautiful chicken stock into the fridge last night and thus have to throw it away!!! :((((((((...I guess we will have to try again another time. At least the chicken meat was separated from the bones we used.

Craft-no knitting again. Tomorrow I am knit shop shopping though.

Time-Pretty good today. I had a couple of kid interruption periods that annoyed me and I wasn't as nice as a good parent should be but other than that I worked TV free. Took a little nap after Grace got home from school. She put in a movie and watched it while i snoozed. Dinner made it on the table at a decent time and Grace was off to bed at 9 (Friday sleep in tomorrow). We did not play a game after dinner but Grace wanted to play webkinz on a computer so we did our individual pursuits in the same room.

Overall I give myself a B

Just 1 Pound Left Until I Reach 100 Pounds Lost...and Post 197

So do you think that It could happen? Could I lose 100 pounds on the day of my 200th post?? Today is post number 197 for me. That would be a coincidence to warm my heart :) As of this morning I weigh...Drum roll please......205. Apparently napping is a key weightloss component? haha ha. I am sure the napping is not the only thing that did it. The exercise and lack of eating helped just a little.

I will post more later but wanted to let you know that the fill is doing its job!

Even Tighter and Not Hungry!

I did not lose weight yesterday but I was super tired. Instead of following my own resolution action plan I fell apart and took another couch nap from 8:15 to 11am!!! That is just sooooo wrong. At 11 I shifted myself, checked a little of the email from work that I had just avoided for 2.5 hours!! and then had to drive down to pick up Cinda the broken car girl from university.

Cinda has a wicked case of fleas (at least we hope that is what it is) in her apt. So after checking the problem I advised her to break out the big guns and get a bug bomb. Her roommate, because she has no bites is adamantly opposed to the idea but...Cinda is covered in bites. Her roommate is acting like Cinda is crazy or something and should just continue to live with the nightly sleep interruption (she has at least 25 that I counted today). I believe in the darkness wearing camo gear...on the weekend when perhaps this roommate will be gone..the bug bomb is going toooooo be detinated near Cinda's room. did not hear that from me!!

Ok back to the point of this conversation: I forgot to eat!!! I finally got hungry at 1:30 when I got to Cinda's university to pick her up. She gave me some tuna out of her fridge and I ate about 1/2 cup and I was good until 4:30 when I desired (not hungry really) a coffee from Starbucks. Dinner was at 6:00 (one small slice of roast chicken, 3 small cooked carrots and 1 T mashed potatoes. The potatoes stuck and had to be returned to the sink of the free and brave :). I had a piece of cheese at 8 and attempted a protein smoothie at 10 (could only drink 1 cup). woohoooo restriction is back...for now.


Health-no exercise tonight. I was tooooooo tired. We did cook our dinner and I prepped tomorrows dinner so it only has to go in the oven and be reheated. David exercised, Grace excercised...I am just a lazy pile of bones because I chose sleep instead!!

crap...I can't even remember my topics :)ummmmmm craft...yep thats it: I did not touch my knitting today. It thought about the class I want to take but that is it.

Work: OK in penance for my nap I have stayed up until 1am finishing up the pile on my virtual desk. Graded discussions for both classes I am teaching check..submitted presentation proposal...check. Canceled trip to schools for observations and pick up paperwork tonight/tomorrow. Two of the districts closed schools due to ice and the other was on a 2 hour delay. I will probably stay home tomorrow unless there is a tropical wind tonight. If there is I will need to be out the door at 5am (eek that is just 4 hours from now). I still have a paper to write and presentation to help create for a conference on Wednesday.

Time?? was that one of them??? yeah..I didnt have any today because i wasted it all napping!! and then what was left got eaten up by driving (clocked 3.5 hours on the road today). Well at least I drove more than I slept today :) I know there is another topic but frankly I cannot remember it. Hopefully tomorrow I can pull out a fresh sheet of resolution paper and do better.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Tighter and Hungry!!

I am definitely tighter today than yesterday. I know my limits and my limits are at the short end of 1/2 cup with no extra spoonfuls allowed. I tried to eat a small lemon yogurt as an afternoon snack and had to rest 1/2 way through before I could finish it. whooopeeee I am happy about that. Not tooo loose, not tooo tight but justt right :) so the food for today is: 7:45 cup of tea with milk, 9:30 1/2 cup of leftover cottage pie heated in the microwave, noon 1 small lemon yogurt, 3:30-I small Ice cream cone. 6:30-1/4 cup finely chopped spaghetti noodles with lots of turkey burger and mushroom sauce in total 1/2 of stuff. It is now 7:45 and Im feeling snacky. I have made myself a vodka and orange juice to drink and am going to hold off on going in for food as long as possible. I have been snacky feeling all day but am trying to resist. In the past this hunger has been the result of a drastic reduction in my food intake followed by weightloss..Fingers crossed that will happen again.


Health-well you heard about my fill and food. I prepped the spaghetti sauce last night while I made the cottage pie so it just had to go on the stove and pasta boiled. David did both while i was at horseback riding with grace (she had 1 hour on the horse). We had dinner at the table (historically it was either at a restaurant or on the couch in front of the TV). Grace did a little of time on the Wii after dinner but had a melt down of frustration so she was banned :) I plan on getting in 30 minutes tonight and David will do his 1 hour of time at some point this evening.

Work-My body and my mind tried to pull me to the dark side of TV viewing and wasting time while I sat on the couch with a pile of things to accomplish. I did succumb to a short couch nap but awoke refreshed and got my job application assembled and sent off, finished a conference presentation for final edits, emailed several teachers I need to pick up paperwork from and observe on Friday and grades some of the online course that still needs finishing. Yet undone is the grading, upload the proposal, and finish meeting notes for the boss.

Craft-I did not knit today!! :( but I did cancel the knit-in for tomorrow out of lack of interest and made plans to go to a nearby shop with a friend to find and sign up for a knitting class.

Budget-The budget is working well. We have had a budget emergency averted :) we have three cars 1 big truck(Davids), One small minivan (mine) and one small truck (was the older girls as they went to high school). The truck is now in the possession of Cinda to drive to and from her university located in a small rural town without public transit. Over Christmas 'Cinda's' truck quit starting. The key turned int he ignition freely and would not engage the engine. We took it into our mechanic who had to think on how to fix it for two days. It is an old car and if it needed more than 500 dollars worth of work would have had to go to the scrap heap. Thankfully the mechanics figured out what to do and we only had to shell out 350 to get it fixed..phew I so did not want to have to look for or pay for a new kid car.

Overall goal rating-an OK day but not stellar. Work is a monkey on my back and I am slipping into old habits again. Procrastinate while i should be working and then work while I should be leisuring. Family health is still good. I might be able to get in a couple of rows of knitting tonight but I also need to do my wii fit work. One will probably have to give.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I Am Better Than Average

I went in for a fill appointment today. The doctor was all complementary and happy with my weight loss. I lost 8 pounds since the end of November. I felt like I lost maybe 3 pounds (why does real life feel slower??). He gave me a fill of .5 I am getting close to about 9cc's of fluid. I did the fill standing up and like last time it worked great!! easy in and easy out. Always laying down he killed me and had to aim several times. About half-way into the conversation he said to make sure and stay on top of the research study I am participating in (He wants to make sure his succeeding patients get counted). He then said...You are doing great...ummm you are doing better than average :) he is such a nerd!!!! but I love that in a man especially my surgeon.

So now I have .5cc's more fluid and I am scared (I always am after a fill). I had a nice cuppa tea when I got home. I nibbled on 1/2 a peanut butter and banana sandwich I had saved from breakfast. It went down smoothly. For dinner I made a turkey burger cottage pie and it went down nicely but I got full with my 1/2c and am feeling good. woohoooooo. Here is to the 3 pounds left until 100pounds lost and 7 pounds to onderland.


health: homecooked dinner, planned meals for week and went grocery shopping for goods. Planned in hidden vegetables for the family. No wii today but I did have my grandson and due to a lost stroller herded him and his car seat up to the surgeons office with me and back down again. My shoulders and back are killing me from it.

Budget: groceries were 80.00. We are trying for 100.00 per week but with a 40.00 dollar trip a few days ago we are already tipping the edge. I think some of the meals I purchased will carry over to next week.

Family: ate dinner at the table. Had Grace help with the grocery shopping by carrying the list and getting vegetables and things off the shelves. She got so excited by the responsibility that she wanted Grant (grandson) to also be allowed to pick up vegetables and add them to the bags. I can't believe I never thought of doing this before!! After we got home and while I cooked dinner Grace got in some Wii fit time and now David is doing his. I am pooped and am going to give it a miss tonight.

Craft: Knitted on itty bitty bag while Grant napped in the car and I waited for school to get out. worked for 1/2 an hour. My squares are much bigger than the sample and instructions. I need to measure to see how soon I will be done.

Work: Not much. I read some emails and read some of the introduction postings for the newest class I am co-teaching. I need to reply to them and start this weeks grading rubric. I Get my application off for a potential job next year and register for a conference this Spring.---I would strike through the register thingy as I have just completed that job but I cannot figure out how those of you who use the strike through using blogger do it!!! helpppppppppp!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

One Tiny Pound Closer and Daily Progress

1 Pound!

I got on my scale this morning and it read 207.0. We woke up late as the alarm did not go off and had to get us all out of the house to school and me to work so I looked at the scale and with a sad sigh said to myself.."nope nothing today"..Then after lunches and book bag gathering as I was driving Grace to school it hit me...My lowest weight is 208 not 207....I lost another pound. How sad is that?? I have been on this weight so long I don't even recognize when I finally start making a bit of progress again. So now...3 measly little pounds to go until I hit the 100 pounds lost mark.

I am scheduled for a doctors appointment tomorrow and will be getting at least a little fill. It is time to get things moving again.


1. Budget-I carried my lunch to work today and ate it even though I sat in the cafeteria with my office-mate who bought his! I skipped the coffee even though I wanted one really bad.
2. Family-ate dinner at the table. There was not much time after that before bed but Grace played on the Wii while David and I watched and cheered her on. See family meeting below as well!
3. Health-We bought a used bike trainer from a guy (craigs list) for $50 bucks so we can get into this Wii thing more. WE think we can play some of the games (running for one) while actually on a stationary bike. I Walked 60 minutes on a real sidewalk to and from my offic eand around campus at mid-day. As a family the three of us had a health meeting where we looked at our Wii progress charts and talked about our health goals (this Wii thing is just CRAZY good!! and they aren't even paying me to say that!)
4. Craft-I am saving a little knitting for after Grace goes to bed.
5. Career-copied to articles I had published to add to my work webpage and discussed letters of reference with my two bosses. had a positive response from a third colleague. Worked at my office until 4:30 During this time I wrote a to do list.

The bag is not felted yet and very much in progress. Honest it looks better in real life :)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Whooppeeee I Figured Out My Word!

My word for this year is Daily Progress. Alcoholics stay sober one day at a time and like them I am going to make one step of progress in each of my improvement areas everyday. I vow to copy this list at the bottom of my daily blog and monitor my daily progress. Now I am not an alcoholic but sometimes I think I am a put off aholic :) I suffer from grand ideas and little follow through. My improvement lists are going to be my test at follow through. Keep me honest blog friends!!

1. Budget
2. Family
3. Health
4. Craft
5. Career

1. No money spent today because we stayed home. Hubby and I discussed our cell phone bill.
2. Sit down to dinner together. Play the U.S. states game after dinner
3. Dinner planned for three days. All from freezer. Another day of Wii fun.
4. Knitted about 2 inches up the sides of the bag and posted blog below.
5. Developed website for work with links to my publications (I have been wanting to do this for 3 years!!!).


The first craft project for 2010 is knitting. If you recall from one of my summer posts I often sit poolside with girls from the neighborhood with knitting projects. At a social gathering a few weeks ago one of the women discussed wishing we could sit poolside in the Winter like we used to. I decided we needed a knitting night right then and there. I have scheduled it this Thursday night at my house. I started a small felted purse project from my leftover scraps yesterday. The picture below is from Mine is a gray and black tweed on the bottom and black with gray squares for the top. Who knows if it will turn out as I am not a very good instruction follower. So far it does not look exactly the same but it looks good.

The little bitty bag pattern is from and is free.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Progress? With Pics.

I made a bit of progress on the planning and execution of self/family improvement.

We took action on the finances front by looking at the cell phone bill and getting cash from the bank (a two week allowance for each of us). We have vowed that we are only allowed to use our debit cards when getting gas in the cars. The goal here is to only get one page of transactions in the checking account instead of pages of small ones.

The Wii fit came out this morning and All three of us played on it. David is now trying to beat my spectacular one mistake on the step aerobics. Grace knows how to navigate all of the controls and helped me figure out how to sign in...arghghg today's youth ;).

I had a look for a new knitting pattern to start and looked through one of my technique books for ideas. I want to try a cable or something and maybe a simple cardigan for grace. This afternoon I am gong to do some work as Grace has a friend coming over for a sleep over.

I have split pea soup ready to go on for dinner and David is making a loaf of his bread. Lunch was leftovers of which there is enough for tomorrow as well.

I had quite a bit of trouble with dinner last night. We broiled some steaks and I made a scalloped potato thing. The steak was a little tough and although I thought it went down OK it definitely did not. I am back down to my all time low of 208 but the 4 pound still remain between me and my 100 pound mark. I was all ready to go in for a fill but after last night I am a little needle shy again. I go in next week so I guess will decide then as to whether I need more juice.

Finally-I am adding a few pictures one from last year and two from this..What a difference a year makes!!

Christmas 2008 with my daughter Cinda

David and I in front of the Christmas tree 2009

My Grandson Grant and I in December, 2009.