Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Leaky Port!??

So I went in for me fill today. The surgeon had a really difficult time poking my port but when he finally did he found that instead of the 5cc's of saline that I am supposed to have in my port I now have 1.4. eeeeek. He added another 1cc and said I should come in again in a week. When he pulled the almost empty needle out he said oh thats not good. I cannot believe it!! He thinks he has accidentally hit the tubing while filling me last time. I will go back in a week and he will try all of this again. If I still do not have fluid than I supposed i will need to go in for further tests to see what is going on.

What really sucks is that 1. I am leaving for the UK in 2 weeks and if I am leaking I will have to go my whole vacation with an empty band. and 2. My good medical insurance is going away January 1 and there is no way he will get me in for surgery before that!!!!!

I will keep you posted on what I find out as the week progresses.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Post Thanksgiving Notes-

I have been really busy at work and have not taken the time to update anyone who looks at this. Since my last post I have had some restriction and then lately-lost it pretty much completely.

I am down another 6 pounds. I was down 4 more pounds but in the last couple of weeks I have regained it. I called for a fill appointment and will go in either on Monday or Tuesday.

Interestingly this change in restriction came after I caught a stomach bug. It swept through the house and everyone vomited repeatedly. With my band (or super-human anti barf willpower) I only heaved once-The band blocked the vomit and I waited it out while my daughter was barfing her life away. the next day My stomach bug moved to an intestinal bug-if you know what I mean. After I was al done I lost 10 pounds. I know some of this was water but It really sucked to regain 4 of it slowly of the next two weeks.

So I went through all of the possible reasons that I lost restriction like that and here is my top ten list of ideas:
1. I lost fat around my band and it opened up
2. I learned how to chew better and the stuff is now soft food running through the band quicker
3. Some calamity occurred and I lost the fluid in my band

In any of the above cases I need a new fill so on Monday or Tuesday (the doctor is not sure when he can fit me in yet) I will go get one.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Sweet Spot

Well i have said this before but this fill seems to be great! For the first time ever I can count the number of pieces of halloween candy i have ingested. I know exactly how much food I ate today because there was so little of it. I have already lost a pound since Tuesday. Yipppeeeeee

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fill Day

So I have a fill this morning. I will come back and let you know how it goes. I hope I dont get too much and I hope this guy knows what he is doing!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Ok I am home and I think my restriction is not as good

So day two after my trip to NY and I ate like a pig again. I am full now but I ate sooo much at dinner. I dont know what the deal is??? I don't get it. I am kind of afraid to get a fill but then I am kind of afraid not to get one. Eek...

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Still running on the same fill and losing! OMG I'm surprised.

So The fill appointment i went on and on about in my last post never happened. I checked my appointment on the online system they have and it was not scheduled as I had been told on the phone. Instead it was scheduled for the week I was gone in New York (last week). So I had to change the darn thing yet again. Now here is the really weird part. I have great restriction now. I left for New York and during the whole time I was there I could eat 3 small meals and I was totally good. They give you wayyyyyy too much food in that town. At every meal I had to throw at least 1/2 away. At one place i threw almost 3/4 of my meal away. It drove me crazy for all of the wastefullness but it was awesome that I got full so fast! For breakfast I could only eat about 1/3 of a bagel with cream cheese. I had quite a bit of trouble keeping enough water in but that was my only problem.

I was a bit more hungry to day (I am home now) but after I ate a real dinner (instead of the snack-y kind of crap I normally eat I feel full. It really hits home that maybe i do have full restriction and I need to just change what I eat (i know DUHHHHH). So i am going to spend this week really trying to eat 3 solid meals a day and lots of water in between. I am also going to take my vitamins daily.

I might even cancel my doctors appointment. OH and the best part...I got home and weighed myself this morning. I lost 2.2 pounds while I was in New York. This is the day after I got home and I had really puffy ankles still. Yipppeeeeee I hope things are finally starting to move...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tomorrow is another fill-keep fingers crossed...

Tomorrow I will get my third fill. Of course today I'm feeling restriction. Yesterday I had nothing!! wide open. I ate like a pig all day. now today i had a sausage and egg for breakfast, a protein bar for lunch, some cottage cheese and another protein bar before dinner got done at 7pm. My daughter made lasagna. I had a 2x2 inch square and I am now stuffed.

I think this meal will last until bedtime because i can barely keep my eyes open and will go to bed soon.

Ill let you know tomorrow how it goes. My husband is going to go with me this time.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Weird Restriction and Ikearama

OK so I went to work on wednesday and wasn't really hungry most of the day. I had some breakfast, lunch and dinner but did not eat nearly what i once would have. I ate two meals off of the leftovers over the next two days. Thursday and Friday were similar but I had some snack attacks that were probably not wise. Today....I turned down a trip to McDonalds (I know he and I are supposed to be on the break up trail) My husband wanted some late lunch after a trip to the dump. I wasn't hungry (I was so not hungry that i was willing to pass up anything on the menu!!!! ) This is a major milestone that I hope continues for me.

Now you might ask...why the dump? Well we are tearing out our old kitchen for a bit of Ikea renewal. We are attempting to take it on in halves. One half of the kitchen had a pantry, upper and lower cabinets with a large table height counter that has never worked for us. The really large counter was used as a dumping ground of papers, mail, keys, toys, you name it everything ended up there. The pantry was very useful but the space left by both of these cabinets is huge. We are going to move the ceiling up (for some reason the builders of the house made a false ceiling very low (I guess they were thinking cosy?). I found an antique welsh dresser to house my dishes and then i figure i can move the canned goods that once lived in the pantry can now go where the dishes are living. The rest of the kitchen will be done up country kitchen-eske using one of the white cabinets they have and at Ikea and a big farm sink.

Monday, October 6, 2008

ARghhhhhhhhh up two pounds

Im tired and this fill sucks. I hope hope hope the next one provides me with something resembling restriction. I almost had it. It was sooo close i could taste it two weeks after my surgery but obviously swelling was playing a good role in the restriction.

I think this is hell and i am in it!!

ON a wee positive note. Im finally feeling less tired. I managed to stay up until 3 getting a load of work done. Since surgery (geez it has been about a month and a half) I have been unable to stay up past 10 or 10:30 and still could take a nap during the day. I can still nap (but I always can nap!) but I am so happy to get my late night alone time back.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Well that fill was a bust-

On day two I had a little restriction. I was not really hungry all day. After that It has been a free for all. I dont have much restriction. The only reason I would say I have any at all is that bread, cake etc. sticks if I am not careful but not even that is bad.

I have as far as I can see gained 2 pounds. I am starting to get unhappy. I will be lucky to have lost anything by the time I go to New York in a few weeks. I had high hopes that I could be in the clothes from my last big weight loss that hang in my closet. That is just not going to happen.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Another Day Another Fill

I went in for my second fill today. He said that I had 0.5 more cc's than he found last time (wow I appear to be creating saline in my band ! :) hahaha. The doctor said that the tube must not have released the extra 0.5 cc's during my last visit. The doc added in another 0.5 cc's today so Now I have 4.5 cc's of fluid in my (i believe it is 10cc band). So far I am really hungry and I feel very little difference from yesterday. I only had clear liquids this morning and through dinner time. I had a pasts dish made fresh my garden grown tomatoes for dinner and then snacked my way through the evening on cottage cheese, cheese sticks, a few peanut butter pretzels...

Now i have to say I felt very similar to this right after my last fill then i tightened up for two weeks, lost a little and then was back to feeling no restriction. I am going to make my next fill appointment right away for two weeks from now (that is as soon as he allows)

I am a bit worried that my insurance is going to change and that the new one is not band friendly. I talked it over with my doctor and he suggested that as long as we can get me well restricted by the time the insurance runs out (Jan 1) I should be ok. The biggest concern is that if i have a big problem with my band i might have to foot the bill myself.

I do think this is kind of stupid! If I have an employee sponsored insurance plan and they are not allowed to screen for preexisting condition than any problems the develop over time should be covered---well i am going to fly without a net here. wish me luck!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4.. I can't figure out how to embed a utube video in this post so please link to this website, turn up the sound and play it in the background while you read this post.

Well today was a BIG lesson. A lesson I will not forget soon and one that will have a lasting impact on my behavior.

So I once had a conversation with a friend (yes A.M. this is you!) about my issues with food and why I am the big fatty that I am. I shared with her my addiction to fast food. I am one of those rare people (or at least the rare who will admit to my addiction) who like------gulp----McDonalds. I like the fries. i like the burgers. I like the fact that I can drive in and get my food and eat it as I drive down the road. I like it. Well tonight I learned that it is time to break up with my boyfriend McDonalds (and all of the other bad boys along the freeway within drive up distance of my travels). So here is the sad break up story.

I have been wide-open since Monday (or at least that is what i thought). I could eat to my hearts content from lunch until late into the evening. Breakfast could still be problematic but not overly so. Today i didn't even have a twinge at breakfast so I said to myself as I left work tonight...let's do one last drive up at McDonalds on my way home from work. On Monday I am getting a fill and this might be one of my last chances.

So I did the drove up (Mistake number 1). I ordered a chicken sandwich meal (mistake number 2). I drove out onto the road and proceeded to dive into my french fries (what you ask? what happened to eating the protein first??). I took a drink of diet coke. I ate more fries. As i headed out onto the highway I opened up my sandwich and started eating merrily in my old ways. This joy of old habits lasted for about 10 minutes and then...whammo I started to have that stuck feeling. A voice inside my head said "Tina put down the sandwich NOW" I listened and did my best to relax and breathe. often i can sweat my way through these things and the food will pass and I can go back to my meal. haha yeah-no- not this time. I threw up the sandwich, did some sliming, threw up the fries and then some more fries. In all I threw up and slimed about 7 times on my drive home (I did discover and can barf and drive!!). Needless to say I no longer have any desire to eat (at least for tonight!) and I am vowing to break up with McDonalds! Just watching bunny's adventures with a carrot has put me off raw carrots. Needless to say my personal experience with a chicken sandwich has forever eradicated that desire from my future plans.

I have to say Im sad to see McDonald go....but he must. We are just not compatible anymore.

If anyone would like to join my break-up club please comment and post ideas for alternative 'fast food' that is healthy and edible!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008


Well the band has continued its fickle fickle ways. I am usually tighter in the morning and open at night. However, just when i think I am wide open and try to eat something decidedly naughty wham I find the band is still there. I am really afraid now that if I get another fill my slide back into poor habits will really and truly be over....I have started up with my diet coke and bread habits again......sooooo I am going to get a small fill (either this Monday or next as I cannot remember which day is my appointment).

so far-I am holding at 16 or so pounds lost (it goes up and down wildly but this week was PMS and period so I am holding off an official weight until next week)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Fickle Fickle Band

Ok so today I was back to restriction. I did not choose the best food to eat but boy oh boy I couldnt eat very much of it.

Breakfast-protein bar, Mocha frap. light.
Lunch-1/2 chicken whiskey river wrap from Red Robin, 8 or so french fries. I started eating the tortilla wrappy part but quickly decided that would be a bad idea and just ate the insides.

Dinner-the other 1/2 of the insides of the wrap then a while later 1/2 a wendy's hamburger, 1 french fry, and a small frosty.

wowow-i so would have had an eating fest with this before the band. In fact i would have had a burger at Red Robin and then another at Wendys, eaten all the fries and the frosty and been happy. I am thrilled that I was full soo fast.

I am going to wait out the next couple of weeks and then decide if I really need a fill of if this will be ok.


Friday, September 12, 2008

restriction has left the building or is it just fickle?

Im not sure if this band thing is working or not. I know i had restriction a few days ago but now im not sure if i have it or not.

Breakfast-1/2 3 cheese omlet, 2 pieces of multigrain toast
Lunch-1 can diet coke, 1 string cheese, 24 grapes
Dinner-3 triscuits, two fish filets, 1c mashed potatoes, 1 choc chip cookie
snack at night-1 bag 94% fat free microwave popcorn, 1 can diet coke.

I didnt drink enough water-
I had not one but 2 diet cokes (yep i miss it now and have done a face plant back into my d coke)
The lunch thing (must have been the bubbles in the diet coke) made me feel really full from 2 until 5pm but when i got home i was starving and nibbled on a couple of salt and vinegar potato chips and triscuitsiiiiii

I have cooked some carrots and plan on carrying them around so that i get more vegetables in (i was too hungry to wait tonight). I do know this band is putting a big hamper on my eating fast-there just isn't anything i should have that I can make fast. It kind of sucks. Im not a real lover of frozen dinners in the U.S. I have had great meals in the UK but of course we are crap over here. I think it is because everyone just eats out in the U.S. and it is more expensive to do so in the UK (as per my husbands conclusion)

Any way-another not so stellar day. I have lost a few of the pounds i gained on my rebound gain after I went back to solid foods. I hope the scale starts turning down again and gets me back to the 14 and more soon. I have 2 weeks and 2 days until i can get another fill.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Restriction but what is with my BAD fat habit!!

So I have started logging my food again (goodness knows how long I am going to manage it this time) and I have a problem with fat. I seem to like anything that exists on the planet with fat in it. However I fail to eat Fiber....so Tina loves the fat stuff and hates the veg. Yep that is about right. Even on my best days I seem to blow through the recommended fat allowances. I don't know how I am going to manage it but I'll let you know how this fatty problems progresses as I try to cut back.

Today thus far-two boiled eggs, 7 triscuits (lowfat), 3 string cheeses, grapes.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Houston I have restriction

So I stuck to mushies or at least what i perceived and sampled as easy food for me. Yes my husband the man in the chair was correct AFTER that post! I went out with them for dinner and had a stupid protein smoothie then nibbled at their infinitely more interesting and tasty Chinese food. It went down beautifully and I was fine (also worried that the fill was crap)

On Tuesday I had to drive down to my University for meetings and had a heck of a time with when, where and what to eat. I could not do my old McDonalds drive through meal in the car while driving routine so instead I had 2 eggs minus the cheese for breakfast, some grapes at noon, a protein bar in the middle of my long meeting (it got to 2:30 and i thought i was going to die of hunger). At 3 I was able to go to the microwave and do a steamer tv dinner (it was edible). then I drove home and had to go directly to a girlscout meeting. When it finished at 9pm i was hungry again so three of us went to a local bar with happy hour and I had a santa Fe salad minus corn. I was worried that i really didn't have enough restriction because I was able to eat 3/4 of it with no problem.

Soooo today-

I decided that I needed to have a good breakfast and I do love the toasted cheese sandwhich so I made on all brown and krispy. I ate half without a problem but about 1/2 way through the second 1/2 i thought i forgot to chew well enough ( I was distracted by rushing my dd into her clothes and shoes for school). So it felt like something was stuck but not horribly painful. It didnt really go away so I did what i did before the fill and tried a little drink (no no no didnt work anymore) I had what I now know is a PB two quick easy mini-barfs in the sink. two very small bites of cheese sandwich popped out and I was good to go.

I went to Starbucks for a wireless hookup at 9:30 (yea right no only a very costly one!). So i have a frappacino (I really need to learn how to spell the darned word!!). At 11:30 I was really hungry and had my tuna salad and 7 lowfat triscuits. I could not even finish the tuna!!!! I was fullll. So then nothing until after school at 3:30 I had my grapes from lunch. then an ice cream bar (supplied by my husband and one Oreo cookie.

Dinner was at 6pm and my older daughter made swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, gravy and lingonberry jam (my new fav. meal) I had 5 meatballs, 1/2 c. potatoes, and two spoons of gravy plus 1 of jam. I'm full enough. Not interested in the chocolate chip cookies freshly baked in my kitchen!!!!

Ill go see what the caloric damage is (the ice cream was really ill advised) but baby steps!! I have more restriction that I have ever had in my life. I think it is much stronger during the day though. I will have to figure out if this is good enough or if I will need to suffer the days so I dont eat at night!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Holy Guacamole I Got a Fill Today!

So today I went in to see my surgeon. I figured I would get the scar check and discussion about healing. Well those questions were quickly asked but he got right down to business and grabbed a fill kit. According to him I had 3 ml in the band from some sort of atmospheric balanced bleed that occurred from the line (thats about all i understood from from the discussion). So he laid me back on the table and gave me a numbing shot or three and then asked me to tense up my stomach muscles and started poking. he got the needle through without too much effort and put in 2 ml, pulled the needle out and asked me to sit up and swallow two small cups of water quickly. eeeeekkk I felt the first one gurgle through very slowly, then the second one didn't go at all. He immediately had me lay down again and began poking again-this time not so successfully. A couple of times he poked and hit the side of the port causing it to move and make the creepiest noise and feeling in my stomach. this time he took out all but .5 ml of the new fill.

so as of today I have 3.5 ml of fluid in my band (he didnt really tell me what sized band I had). but I am to do liquids today, mushies tomorrow and work my way back up to regular food.

So today-I have had 2 bottles of water with lemonaide crystal light, 1 c of smoothie from a local hamburger stand, and 1 cup of cream of tomato soup. I saved half of the soup for later but I am already getting hungry!! in my lower stomach not my upper one :) haha

Sunday, September 7, 2008

My Plan Day 2 and 3

so i have tried this protein at every meal thing for two more days and it is working well.


Breakfast-2 eggs w cheese
Lunch-caprese salad (tomatoes and mozzarella) and one piece of foc. bread
dinner-3 bites of quiche, a piece of cornbread (the closest to stuck I have been so far), some chicken salad with apples and dried cranberries with mayo/sour cream and very small slices of celery.
Dessert-pice of lemon sour cream pie


Breakfast-Leftover quiche and bit of cornbread
Lunch-lefover quiche and bit of cornbread
Dinner-plan is for fish filet and cook carrots

so the stuck thing-the cornbread was to soft and squishy and I ate it too fast. I was eating out. Thank goodness i tried water and it worked-i felt the thing glug through the opening...phew. I was sweating bullets there for a few minutes.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Today was a good day!

This morning i woke up with renewed effort. While sleeping i worked through why all day I was hungry but got full at dinner-I tested and now think the key is dinner! I have been trying to stick to the mushies during the day and then because i have been out and about so much my dinner has resembled more 'normal' eating. I have meat (but am careful what kind), veg, and some kind of starch. Well so I decided today that i was going to do the same for breakfast and lunch and see if it worked....IT DID!!

I had some leftover chicken marinated in lemon, cooked carrots, and risoto. All of this was left over from the dinner that my daughter cooked last night. I put it all in a non-stick pan and heated it up. With my first bite I had a moment of panic!! I almost got stuck but sat back, relaxed and had some of my water. I drank about 1/2 a bottle and let my food sit until I had hydrated a bit first (i didnt drink anything first this morning). When i went back to my breakfast I was very careful to eat slowly and chew chew chew. I was full until noon! no snacking urges nothing!! At noon i was pretty hungry. I was sick to death of my cheesy eggs so I went out on a dangerous limb and tried my first bit of bread since surgery. I made a toasted cheese sandwich. Just that (eaten very slowly and carefully again) lasted me until 7:30 pm!!!!! I am so excited I hope this wasnt a fluke!! I had the rest of my dd leftovers for dinner and around 8pm had a smoothy from Jamba Juice (I wasn't really hungry but just wanted it). I got a good girl juice with a booster of protein.

So I would say I have restriction on an empty lapband. Time will tell if this is really the case or lasts. I love the fact that I can get full on such a small amount of food (1/2-1c) and be good for long periods of time.

Oh by the way-i lost the two pound gain this morning plus 1 more. I am now down 17 pounds from my highest weight and down 14 since surgery on August 20.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The honeymoon is flipping over!!

Today. Gained 2 pounds-ok maybe it is time to stay off the scale now. My eating is going crazy. I am hungry and not even my yummy scrambled eggs are cutting it anymore.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Another Crazy day in crazyland

Today was crazzzzyy. I attempted to get some work done this morning but spend the entire 3 hours F3!#$@#$$ around with the videos i needed to watch. I never did manage. According to my DH they were not finalized before they were taken out of the rocorders. All i know is I was supposed to watch them and I am pretty cheesed off that I could not get it done this morning.

I was then supposed to work on an annual report for the feds but by this time it was time to go to the school where my youngest daughter is starting next week. I like the whole set up at this new school but am irritated that this so-called problem-based school cannot figure out how to integrate mathematics into their problems. They have a really good math curriculum so I am cautiously monitoring the situation and hope all goes well. On a good note she will actually be taught science (amazing considering what she would have gotten in a regular public school!)

So the food---1c cottage cheese, 8 chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, 2 string cheeses, 4 squares of Cadbury's Fruit and nut, 7 swedish meatballs, 1/4 cup mashed potatoes, 2 Tbl. lingonberry jam, 1/4 cup gravy, 3 animal crackers. I know this is all way less than I used to eat but I have stopped losing weight and im starting to worry a little. I have to say I was full at dinner (but i always seem to get full at dinner) Im not sure if it is some lapband timing thing for me or if there is something magic about the kind of food i eat at dinner. I have no idea what the calories for today would be but I somehow still feel bad about eating the wrong things and too much of them. I am not sure if I should seek a fill (if they will even go there on the 8th) or if I should wait until i am on proper food (like vegetables and everything)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Busy busy busy

So I'm back to my old life now (this is not a good thing!)...I spent all day painting our old office (now dd, boyfriend and grandson's room) the dashed out to dinner to celebrate another daughters birthday to Claim Jumpers. For those of you not familiar let me just put this in a nutshell..Imagine a restaurant where there is way too much to choose from and on each plate is way too much. I chose a cup of soup and sampled sweet potato (really yam!) off peoples plates. The soup was nothing to write home about but the yam was yuminy. They baked it and then served it with butter and a sprinkle of brown sugar. I am going to have to concoct a version of this to eat at home. They had small sample sized (normal portions if you ask me!) of deserts. I had a flan (not too good so I left half) and a taste of my husband English toffee pudding...delish. It was really weird to sit there are watch everyone devour these enormous plates of food. Two people ordered the 'normal' sized desert portions. The eclair was the size of a full loaf pan and covered in whipped cream, floating on icecream and filled with vanilla pudding ( i didnt even go for a taste of that one!). The other was a piece of chocolate cake the size of a small computer keyboard. It was obscene. I am even feeling a bit proud of myself now-they did not do a thing for me. yay-i know a few short weeks ago i would have had a full plate of food and some of each desert besides.

This morning I had to travel the 3 hour commute to my job (have done this once a month for the past 5 years!). I go weekly 1.5 hours to my employing university and then once a month over to another rural city to provide teacher training. This trip was to observe some of the participants as they started some peer learning projects. I do love my job but the food is such a dilemma. I took two yogurts and two string cheese with me. Had about a cup of cottage cheese for breakfast. My oldest daughter also suggested that I throw in a couple of cans of soup (in case i had to stay over). So i packed up a cooler and drove on my way. Well who wants yogurt for lunch! so I ate a string cheese then went to a local deli and ordered beef and barley soup (it had corn in it but i was really careful to chew each kernel to oblivion. I also ordered a small potato salad. I didn't taste very good so i threw out half. Then on my way home it hit 5pm (I am really wanting dinner at 5 now!) I stopped at the big evil McDonalds and ordered 6 chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce. I chewed and even parked so I would make sure and eat them properly dipped in the sauce. I also had an icecream (no fries i said so why not ice cream) well i know...not a good idea. then i got home and my lovely husband decided that he needed to recreate the toffee pudding. I had some. this is sooo not easy anymore!!! I was nice and full from each of my meals. Sure im losing now but i know this behavior is not going to help me any. I need to get a grip on choice as well as portion!!!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm Losing, I'm Losing, I'm Losing hoorayyyyyy

Ok so i had more food yesterday than I have had in ages-Frankly to embarrassing to post so I wont. lets just say there was chocolate involved and leave it at that (no wine or any alcoholic beverage as yet though!!). Anyway I was a tad bummed out with myself because the healing is obviously working too well and lo and behold I got on the scale this morning and dropped another 2 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!! So as I did a little happy dance around the kitchen I dug deep for a new found vow to be a good girl (for goodness sake i am less than two weeks out and I am already feeling the need to renew my efforts...How sad is that!!!)

so as of this morning-

1/2 rice cereal with apple juice
1 2" square of cornbread mushed up in 1 c of milk. (ohhh this cornbread is the leftovers of last night's sins-but note it is a leftover!!!)

Friday, August 29, 2008

urchhhhhhh my pound a day has come to an end

So although I am all good with the food level I have been eating for the last few days, sadly my weight loss has slowed. I am totally cool with that!!! I stayed at 12 pounds down today. but oh the joys of eggs and cottage cheese, and string cheese, and yogurt and rice pudding oh and other stuff that is good.

It is 11:22 pm and im popping back on for the food list-not so good

2 egg scramble with one string cheese and small slice of cheddar
1/2 cottage cheese
string cheese
tunafish with dill pickles and mayo
1 string cheese, 1 yogurt
small piece of fish, 1/2 mashed potatoes with lots of milk to sauce it up.
1/2 rice pudding
3 sting cheeses (one at a time over time)
1/2 cup of mashed potato

Man o man this is a ton more food than i have eaten up to this point The potatoes tonight were not milked up and kind of got stuck-I chased with a small bit of crystal light (i know not the thing to do and bad bad bad) but it worked this time. I do know my stoma is still wide open so i think this was more sticking on the sides on the way down than stopping. This is twice as much food as i had a couple of days ago-I am going to have to keep exercising or work on getting a grip on the quantity. I have to say i was hoping that the good times would last and that i was one of those rare few who never needed a fill---well somehow I dont think so.

My scars and holes are feeling pretty good now-I went for a 2.2 mile walk around our neighborhood and then went shopping tonight for back to school stuff. With no pain-

On the way around the neighborhood we stopped at two garage sales. I bought a built in ironing board (15$ what a bargain! They are over close to $200 brand new) but am going to save it for my next house.

I got a considerable amount of work done today (partially because my internet was down for 24 hours). I moved myself away from the TV and into the living room where I finally finished the paper i was having trouble with, edited another paper that i had been putting off and finally finished reading a book i am supposed to review.

Now i have two more reports to write and oh i don't know 5 flipping articles!!! I am banking a lot on staying in the town where my dd is going to school and working in the library everyday. Fingers crossed it is effective and I don't come up with ways to distract myself.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Day 7-Oh what wonderful mushies I had

So today I moved myself onto mushy mushies. My swelling has obviously gone down and the liquids are just not cutting it. In addition there was no way I was getting enough protein in. So today I explored the wonderful world of mushies. For breakfast I had my regular rice baby cereal with apple juice. Midmorning I had about a 1/2 cup cottage cheese. For lunch I took a can of tuna, sweet relish and mayonnaise and made a tuna salad. I ate about 1/2 cup of that. finally for dinner I had the tastiest egg on the planet. I took shredded mozzarella cheese and a little bit of cheddar and browned them in a bit of butter. When they are melted and bubbled a bit i added my egg and milk and scrambled it softly. then added salt and pepper right before i ate it. Yummmmmmmmmmm.

After dinner I went and played bunco fully prepared to eat nothing but they had really soft cheesecake. I had 3 bites (a sliver) and then went back to my crystal light. After that we went to a friends house and I had 3 squares of chocolate and finished my bottle of crystal light. I think I seriously damaged my pound a day plan but im good with it because I found food i think i can live with for a long time and have enough protein!

I dont feel a lot of restriction anymore and I am not really supposed to have any as there is no fill at all just the band itself. I did feel it the first few days as i was swollen but I am not really having a huge problem (yet) limiting myself to 1/2-1cup servings of whatever i am eating (I know i am seriously motivated at this point). If I can end up with this feeling of normalcy but just not hungry that would be grand!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Day 6 of the endless liquids

so last night i stayed up late-had a long nap in the afternoon-I had a little tiny meltdown on the whole liquid thing (as I expected to do) I was about to crack into some cottage cheese when i spotted a bar of cadbury's from the UK. well i did keep some control on the break down (there is candy left). It went down ok but I was a little nausious when i finished. I drank a little of my crystal light and rested while watching the Duchess of Duke Street on direct view Netflix (my new favorite evening entertainment) I went to bed after a while and all seems to be ok now.

This morning:

I slept until 9am. Burst forth from bed and cleaned house (with extensive help from my oldest dear daughter) I picked up what i could from the higher places, swept the entry and hall floors and did a bit of mopping. My daughters got the stuff off the floor and vacuumed.

I had a conference call at 10am for work and corrected a few papers and had lunch. It is now 1:42pm and Im sleepy. I have a pedicure at 2 yay hooray my nails are getting long but i cannot reach them with my post surgery painful tummy. I am really looking forward to it.


My pedicure was great-French tip is my favorite because you get to wear it for a really long time before it wears or grows out.

Afterward I went to booster juice and got a smoothie. They have one that has 45 grams of protein. I have been having a really hard time reaching the protein levels i am supposed to on liquids and i like this peanut butter, chocolate and banana one i have been drinking. So anyway with the 45 protein grams i can get an additional 12 grams if i add a whey booster. that is 57 grams. I figure if I have one a day until i get real food again I will be better than i have been up to this point. The amount of smoothie i need to ingest is way too much in one sitting (I have been having a 1/2 size one) but I figure i can bring a big one home everyday and eat it over three meals from the freezer.

Im having spaghetti in a blender tonight-I will let you know how it goes!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Day 5 kerfuffle

I woke up this morning worrying about work and how I am continually behind and am finding great difficulty in producing even half as much as I should be. I spent and hour trying to figure out how to write a report that has been due for a week (still dont have an answer for that one!) and got up. I used to be able to craft full papers in my head (much less two paragraph reports). Im not sure if its my heart that isn't in it, if I am just too tired or whether lack of solids is getting to me!.

i got up and attempted to make some cream of wheat-it overflowed all over the microwave. I tried again and put some mollassas (not sure how to spell and dont really care) and ruined it (i love gingersnap cookies but this wasn't even close!). My oldest daughter got up with the baby and tripped over a laundry basket almost falling with the baby that didn't sleep last night so she is exhausted. I took the baby and sent her back to bed. Then my dd turned the TV on (always a noisy distraction) and started kicking the babies jumperoo gym so that it rattled. I was trying to put him back to sleep but every time the TV made a screeching noise or the jumperoo rattled he jumped....auuuurghghghghghgh. I sent her to bed turned everything off and am now ready to go back to bed!

After a 15 minute break period my dd daughter is back out quietly working on a craft project with the TV off! The baby went back to sleep and maybe just maybe I can have a peaceful morning.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Day 4 and all is well

ok i am now down 8 pounds-that part is good! I finally had to put in a new nuva ring because the period bleeding was beyond acceptable. It has slowed down a bit since the ring went in but geeezz i'm tired today. I dont know if it is tired from the lack of solids or lack of blood.

I can bend wayyy better. the incision sites are healing nicely even starting to itch a little. I managed to sleep on my side for a little while last night.

todays food-

1/2 c cream of wheat of wheat with with soy milk, cinnamon and splenda
1/2 c cream of potato soup
1 c smoothie made with mango yogurt, banana, peanut butter, soymilk, hemp protein powder, and lots of ice (it made two cups and I shared)

Ill probably have some split pea soup tonight

and of course lots of water with crystal light.

we are off for a potluck picnic for my dd new school-oh joy! potluck when you are on liquids!

Well we went to the potluck. It was outside in a park and raining cats and dogs. The food part was really difficult. I took two bites of a plum and watermelon my dd picked up and ate about a tablespoon of hummus someone brought. I stayed away from the food tables but it was not much fun over all. We did get to meet my dd new teacher for next year. She seem nice at this point.

After the potluck I made my husband drive me to McDonalds for a strawberry milkshake (feeling sorry for myself). I drank some of it but it tasted like liquified sugar and was not really good. On retrospect I think I have 'treated my self' with food when I feel deprived, sad, proud, excited, tired...you name it!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Day 3 post op

Today is much better.

I got my TOM yesterday! I have been monitoring closely to make sure I don't need to go back on the birth control stuff but so far so good. Other than it being difficult to deal with at the same time my stomach still hurts it is behaving as a good period should.

I got to have full liquids today and Life is OK again. I had cream of wheat for breakfast with a little soy milk and cinnamon. My daughter made me drink down some nasty protein milk for a midmorning snack (what is with that protein crap! can they not manage to make it taste any good at all?) and then for lunch I had some watered down split pea soup. My husband was nice enough to make me a batch from scratch so it tasted as good as it could and then spent the morning blending it up to a fine pulp. It was really thick so I had to water it down quite a bit but it was tasty. I just had a yogurt that i guess was against the rules because it had sugar in it (my family the food police had a cow! but they bought the thing for me!). I am planning on potato soup for dinner and maybe a bit o milkshake for dessert.

In between i have been trying to get in liquids-usually water with crystal light lemonaide. I have to drink two bottles a day and Ive just gone through my first---

so i have a feeling protein and liquid are the themes for the week and I do not see my being a huge success at either!

Ill keep you all posted however.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I am banded

Well the deed is done.

I am not sure how I feel about it. I am in a lot of pain and I have to say the liquid stage is crap. especially the liquid out part!

They moved the day from Thursday to Wednesday at 1pm. My husband and I were planning on a trip to an area just an hour south of where i live to spend the night and do a bit of wine tasting. Well we did it anyway. We left Tuesday morning and went to Dundee. We sampled a few wines. had a nice dinner. and then spent the night at a nice bed and breakfast place. The down side-I had to wake up and wash with disinfectant soap to get ready for the surgery and of course no breakfast because they cut me off of liquids at midnight.

We got up and left by 9 headed into the hospital. I got there early so we took a ride on the tram down to the doctors office in an attempt to fill out the survey they wanted me to do. No one was in from the research study people so we went back up to the hospital and checked in. I was checked in by 10:30 and called into the pre-op area by 11:30 and then the waiting began. Supposedly the doctor was put behind because of previous patients. tick tick tick tock-finally at 5pm (yes that is correct i sat on a bed waiting from 10:30 am to 5pm) I almost chickened out several times! they did have wireless internet and cable so that helped a little bit. Plus I read a book for some of the time.

at 5pm i was rolled into the surgery, put under and woke up in recovery at 10:30 pm (Goodness knows why that took 5 and 1/2 hours either!!) My husband got one call after about 1.5 hours telling him my surgery was done and that they were cleaning up (he wasnt sure if it was me they were cleaning or the room!). The next phone call he received was from me at 11pm when I finally made it up to the ward. for the most part this team was great. The person who rolled me up to my room was a bit of a bitch as she kept moaning about how big the bed was and how she couldn't onto the regular elevators with it (not sure if that was a slam at my largess or not!) I got wheeled into my room and my roommate was a lady who had the same surgery just before me. It was nice to talk to her during our very short recovery.

We were not allowed anything to eat or drink until Thursday evening and I was stuck with my catheter in until almost as long (despite my begging to have it removed from midnight Wednesday throughout thursday). It was a bit of a shock to be hamstringed with the catheter and them boom in the space of a couple of hours the catheter was out, we had been fed a liquid meal and xrayed with barium light to make sure stuff was moving through our stoma. and then bingo bango they cut me loose by 5pm. my husband drove me home and I collapsed on the couch-Bunny! How in the heck did you tour Bruges the day after this surgery????? I am toast! stomach hurts and tired on the drugs.

I took some pictures of me before surgery and will attach them as soon as I can get them uploaded.

Monday, July 28, 2008

wrapping up the old news and some new stuff-Postponed surgery AGAIN!!!

Ok to wrap up the whole girlscout camp experience-temporary crown fell out twice, bee sting on my stomach, ripped my pants open on a picnic table. Spent the night and sat on a wooden bench for 2 hours while mosquitos sucked my blood through my clothes!!!

On the good side of things-the girls were great I like aged 10. I can gimp (or boondoggle) or whatever name you prefer like crazy now! and it is OVER! and I can sleep in and stay up late and sit on my butt again.

ok now onto new-------

I went in for my pre-op appointment (yes again). I showed up at my scheduled time to be told that the doctor was running 30 minutes to 1 hour behind schedule-So thankfully I brought my laptop with me because i knew i would have a long break between the doctors visit and my anesthesiologist appt. So cool-i could sit and correct papers early instead of later. As soon as I sad down someone from the back came out and called my name. It was the scheduler who had to tell me that my surgery date would have to be changed for a week later because the surgeon has to go to a malpractice hearing (eeek did she just say malpractice???). There wasn't much point in saying no and It is actually ok because I was cutting out of teaching for two days so this freed me up to do my job. I went back to work on my laptop and they eventually called me into the office. I went in and the nurse pulled up my record. suddenly she got flustered and said---oh i forgot something ill be right back and then hurried out of the room. So i sat and looked at the ceiling, then counted tiles then finally got my laptop back out and went back to work (yes it took that long!!!) Finally the surgeon and nurse practitioner came into and started the 'meeting' not really an examination because it was just a chit chat and signing of paperwork. The nurse who left the room didnt come back and take my temp and blood pressure until after they left. It was very weird and I dont know why she left the room!

funnily enough-the first thing the doctor said was Im sorry but we are going to have to reschedule you-i told him i had already done so and it was fine. then he went on to talk about a court date for a malpractice case (I said back-are you sure you want to mention the malpractice word with me in the room?). he explained the whole thing-I guess a lady who weighed over 700 pounds ended up with a pressure sore that took a couple of months to heal and she was suing the nurses-but he had to testify because he did the surgery. anyhow-I finished my appointments and I am good to go for August 22. Please think good thoughts and keep your fingers crossed that something else doesn't happen to put it off yet again!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Yin Yang or rama-

I cant think of a good title so that one works as well as any other. Today was ok. Way too early-I had to get up at 7am. the girls were mostly good. they entertain themselves much better than the brownies that I usually work with can. We only had to climb up to our camping area once. The rest of the time we cooked, made name badges, chilled out in the shade oh and They had to clean the Biffy (bathroom in the forest for you) NASTY and im very grateful that they clean it and not me.

After camp my Dd and carpool partners went to dinner at McDonalds ( I know, I know counter productive in a big way). we needed a nice greasy lazy reward for our day long efforts don't you think?

I need to have my head examined!

arghghg! I made the fatal error of volunteering! All next week I will be leading 10 girl scouts and 2 PA's (i don't know what the letters stand for but they are supposed to be the older girls who herd and lead the younger ones). Im not sure how good of a job the PA's will do...I had to chase one around during training on Saturday so im kinda worried. I will have the lovely pleasure of helping these girls earn an outdoor fun badge. to do so we have to HIKE! eek...one short and one long-up a trail called suicide hill (just the title has me shaking in my boots!). I walked up to our campsite and was panting and wheezing like crazy.

As usual I have managed to screw around and not get my work done this week or this weekend....I dont know if it is me or if I have too much work to accomplish. I think I go to too much effert on each project and need to let go and just get some of this stuff done. screw giving each student specific feedback-just give them a grade and move on!...Of course this work will not go away while I am spending all day at camp. I will have to come home and continue to work at night.

In addition to this I caught some stupid flu or cold thing that has been going around the house..sore throat, stuffy nose, constant nasal drip cold and then hot and then sweating argh...

I think I need to go to bed so that I can wake up with a better attitude. Maybe tomorrow...Ill check in and let you know of my day long torture!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

I Had a Dream

I'm not usually one of those metaphysical, lets see what my dreams mean kind of people but I have the most real dream about my surgery last night. I went in, had a whole conversation about how the surgery would proceed with the surgeon (my dream surgeon was way better looking than my real one!!), had the surgery and the spend the rest of the dream walking the halls of the hospital with a full feeling. I remember thinking to myself (while in my dream) how satiated I felt. Not full not hungry just not interested.

I hope that I eventually really get that feeling. Of course-i kinda doubt it given all of the posts from post banded people who talk about head hunger and the desire to eat a lot and fast again. I have less than one month to go...I can't wait to get this show on the road.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

figuring it all out!

Well I took the post-doc position I was offered. I am still hot happy that I had to keep doing the same job for the next three years but I think it is the right decision for now. My boss has agreed to pay me more than what I asked for so tuition for my two older daughters at university will be doable.

My youngest daughter has been accepted at a local magnet school. It is all problem-based, students are arranged in ages 6-8, 9-12, 12-15 and 16-18. The focus is on getting kids active opportunities to learn! Classroom sizes are small and I am very excited to have her away at school for part of the day again.

We are going to make a big move to the town where this school is located (only 20 minutes away). It is a small town 1/2 agriculturally based and 1/2 home to a small private university. Our task now is to get our house finished and on the market so we can find and buy someplace new.

My 23 year old daughter, boyfriend and baby have decided to move home and we are looking for a place with another living space. Either two houses on a property or a duplex so that I can help and they can help us with house and yard care when we go out of town. We have even discussed the possibility of land, chickens, and even a horse. None of this is set in stone yet!!

If all of the above plans work out I am excited!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

A New date: A new stab at lapband

I got a call two days ago from doctors office. I will now be having lapband surgery on August 15-3 months later than planned but hopefully in a more healthful place!

I will be missing 2 days of work but my boss says its ok. She is very supportive of the surgery and said to me: get it done with so you can get going!

The busy weeks of high school graduation are over. all of my daughters were home. It was great to see them and my new grandson. I am kicking myself that I did not get a picture of all of them as having them all together will probably happen only rarely from here on out. My oldest daughter is trying to transfer her graduate studies closer to home. I think she is realizing that having grandma close by to help babysit is a plus! My second daughter is back at college for the summer working on campus. my third daughter (the graduate) got a job at a local clothing store and is planning on working as much as possible this summer to save up for next year at university.

Soo starting next fall it will be just the three of us-my husband, 7 year old and I. I am still not sure if I will be working at a real job next year or another post doc position, if we will continue to live in this house, if i can afford all of the university tuition I need to pay, etc........I know i should just take the post doc and get used to having the lapband etc. I am just tired of my job and want something new!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Feeling Better

I am finally home-and feeling better.

The plane was a never ending adventure yesterday as it was delayed so long that we had a 30 minute connection in Seattle. We made it-the last flight out of Seattle to Portland where I had to wait around for my husband to fly in from Phoenix (despite the airport signs and not a employee in sight saying that the flight had already arrived) and home. I planned on waiting to take my pill until evening as I read a website that said taking it in the evening would help the nausea but of course-by the time I got home at 1am I was way to tired to dig the darn things out of my suitcase. I skipped it. I had a couple of dreams in the middle of the night that the faucets had started up again but phew-i was safe and everything was fine. I lazed in a bit today reading a book I started on the planes. My house is Clean as my 18 year old kept it up while I was gone. The yard is weed free (a garden guy came while I was gone) and the weather is one of those perfect Spring days. LIFE IS GOOD!

So you may wonder? is she bipolar? the last post was the crazy lady from hell! Well I am still on the pill but i skipped one yesterday. I did take it again this morning and so far fingers crossed no nausea.

I cancelled my lapband surgery---well actually i attempted to postpone it but the scheduler from hell only let me cancel, requesting that I get my files sent over for the surgeon to have a look at. Ill keep you posted....

so onto the next adventures...

my DH will be gone to Belgium, France, Dublin, Denver, Japan and China in the next three months---Any votes as to which I should attempt to go to? I would like to go to them all but Im not sure if we can afford summer airfare!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Its Not Cancer But I'm Postponing The Band

So I was correct I found out on Monday about the blood tests and even biopsy. Even though I have to say she was obviously worried about me because i found a message from Saturday. She called to check on me and see how I was doing! On a weekend! OMG that is unheard of as far as I am concerned!

Anyway back to the blood test---

I am down 100 iron tablets (the Gyno's words not mine). I am supposed to stay on the pill for two months (with a 1 week break), and empty a bottle of iron. I have to say although I am happy that faucet has turned off I HATE THE PILL and I HATE TAKING IRON

1. I am a bitch-no other way to slice it. I hate my 6 year old, I hate my life, I hate my job...I am angry I want to commit violence. As we speak I am in a hotel room in Alaska next to my 6 year old. She wont go to sleep and it is 11pm. I need to be alone and she wont go to sleep and I am about to start crying....methinks it is the hormones talking or I need some serious mental medication.

2. I have morning sickness from the damn pills. I dont actually barf but I have been sick to my stomach for 4 days. All the time (I am losing weight-but dont really care)

3. I am constipated from the darned iron tablets-its green and I feel like a horse if you catch my innuendo.

4. I have so much work to do and I cannot get caught up. I have another trip to take and people demanding that I read documents, do observations, get ready for my older daughters high school graduation, write two papers, correct assignments, complete reports, attend meetings, find a new job, apply for conferences.......I do not have time to take another two weeks off from work.

My blood work is crap, No one knows why I was bleeding, I'm on the pill for two months, Im tired, and I have too much work. Soooo...I am rescheduling the band for summer. My husband thinks I should still try but (im crying again)...I can't (not usually a word in my vocabulary).

So there you go a self-inflicted (sort of) set back.

Now I have to go write some papers! but joy of all joys-at 11:05 she fell asleep. Exactly the same time as she has done for the past 4 days. She wanted to sleep on time so we could go down for breakfast tomorrow. There is no way in hell I am waking her up! soooo tomorrow is cereal in our room.

**disclaimer-despite my post stating a desire to commit violence I am not actually doing so-I just want to!!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Girly troubles-EEK!

So I hope all of you readers are female-if not WARNING as this is going to involve all things feminine-periods, blood, cramps, sanitary napkins, specula? or is that speculums?. If you have already had creepy shudders just from reading this list STOP READING NOW and COME BACK FOR ANOTHER POST!

So I have tried to retain this blog for mostly lapband topics but this one is definitely encroaching on my lapband (or as I fear maybe postponing it!). A few short weeks ago right about the Suckier post I noticed that I had not had a period in quite a while. I don't really worry about being preggers as I had my tubes tied when I had my youngest daughter 6 years ago. Well....So I missed my period. When it stretched to two months I went into the doctor for a consult. Although I had never missed a period before. I am a regular (very regular) person-so this was very odd. I was frankly looking forward to no more periods so was hoping for Menopause. The doctor figured I would catch up next month. She was correct and while in Spain I "got the visit". It lasted for 3 WEEKS! I went back into the doctors. She sent me in for an ultrasound (Wow the internal ones are indignant!!). So not to worried at this point until two days later when whammo--the "the red cloud descended in force!" I was changing overflowing pads every 15 minutes for three days. I called the doctor and was quickly sent to a gyno. She decided that a uterine biopsy was required (YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWCHHHHH)-then a blood test for blood counts and a bunch of stuff to figure out what is going on. She put me on the pill (Im really crazy hormonal on the pill).

So here is how it stands:

1. I am on the pill and things have almost stopped (sigh of relief)
2. I am cramping like crazy
3. I might have a thyroid condition, cancer, a polyp, hormonal issues etc.
4. I'm not sure that I will be allowed to have surgery on the 15th
5. I am kinda crazy-already-very short tempered. I am not looking forward to playing grandma for 10 days. I just want to stay home and sleep.

So....more later. The blood work said stat. I will call on Monday to see what the results were and get back to you.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The pre-op office visit and I'm a grandma

so as of yesterday at 6:15 a.m. Pacific Time I became a grandma. My oldest daughter had a little boy. The poor guy had to have the toilet plunger treatment to get out and today is sporting a cone head, and bruises. His cord was wrapped around his neck four times. He seems to be ok-as per phone calls from to them but next week I will get to see for myself when my youngest daughter and I fly up for a couple of weeks to do the grandma baby-sitting gig. I have never been to Alaska so it should be an adventure.

Last Monday I went into the surgeons office to do all of the pre-op check in stuff. I started the day with an appointment with my surgeon-He was very my three sons dad (If you are too young to remember this check on the web). He gave me a hard time stating that i was too thin to need this surgery (geez the only place in the world where someone has said that!). He also had it written in his records that I like to read research so he gave me the low down on the effectiveness knowledge of weight loss surgeries. Basically the news is that they are all about the same in effectiveness (but he thinks rny is a bit better). He said that 1/3 of lapband patients will have some complication that requires their removal-1/3 have great success and 1/3 have less than satisfactory success. If this is true than my assumption is that the 1/3 who have to have their bands removed were not part of the 10 year study released in Europe a few years ago that said that the weight loss was slightly better than other kinds of surgery and that an average of 60% of desired weight loss was achieved over this period. he did say most of his research came from Australia and New Zealand and that he was trained by them. Anyway-he then went on to say that right now no ones knows how to know if one method will work any better than another an that they leave it up to patients. an finally right before i was ready to leave he said-well since you have had so many abdominal surgeries (4 c sections, a gallbladder and hernia repair) he said that lapband was probably the best choice for me!! soooo lap band it is!

After that I went in for pre-op testing. I had an ekg, conversation about my allergies and medical history, and finally a blood draw-3 pokes later sporting a bruise the size of a coffee cup I was 5 minutes late for my next appt. upstairs.

I ran upstairs for a required seminar on weight loss surgery. The main speaker was not very comfortable or skilled at the job but went through instructions on how to check in for surgery, where to park (bad directions that we will not use!) and retold us all the stuff we already were presented at the pre-appt. seminar. They spent most of the time talking about rny and then gave me a folder with info about labpand (Im not sure why i couldnt have been let off and given the packet without the talk).

They tried to get me to sign up for various research projects except that by the time I showed up to hear about these projects the person was missing and never came back. I went to lunch, waited around for like 15 minutes but she never did show up so I left. I was going to let them use me as a subject because i remember how hard it was to find people when i was doing research but I wasnt going to wait around forever!

Sooo april and may are gong to be busy busy busy. I go to alaska for two weeks, i have to get my supervisory jobs done first, travel come back do some more observations, have surgery, three days later help to move my daughter back to her university town after she comes back from Spain, go to one of my work conferences 8 days after surgery, get ready for my younger daughters high school graduation (and the party i must host) 17 days after surgery. Keep your fingers crossed that I heal quick!

Friday, April 11, 2008

I Have A Date!

So there has been some movement in things during the last two weeks. When I got bak from Spain (it was a great vacation by the way) I hoped for a phone message but instead I got an approval letter from my insurance company. Again true to form the records person at the doctors office was flakey- I called them to tell them I had an approval letter and her reply was "you do?"

I said "yes and it says on the letter than you do to. You received a cc."

Doctors office person said, "Well I don't have it. Perhaps it is floating around on the doctor's desk. We often don't get some of these thing."

Comforting Eh? Really boosts your confidence in their abilities to function-and say not amputate my leg instead of the asked for surgery!

Anyway I was asked to fax her the insurance letter. I did so then waited for two days. I called back and was told that the letter did not come with a billing number and that she had left two message (something I highly doubt) but that the insurance company had not called back.

I asked her what specific number is she looking for (she reiterated a billing number). I called the insurance company's customer service and had a number in about 5 minutes (I know that these companies answer the calls from doctors much faster than they do for patients! thus putting into doubt her story of two messages.

The next day while I was running around dong student teacher observations I got a message to call the office and tadahhhhh drum roll pleaase! They gave me a doctors appointment, assigned me a doctor and gave me a surgery date. Now don't get me wrong I'm really happy to have all of these dates. I'm just freaked that I have not even met this surgeon, nor been given any indication or information about the test results I have been sending in one after another. Shouldn't a patient meet their surgeon before they commit to a surgery date? Its just doesn't feel right. Now of course im not going to cancel any of them-nor am I going to raise too much of a stink about the whole idea.

I know those of you in the UK will read this and probably say-yep thats how it works here. You wait around until they call you and hope that it is sooner than 5 years. If you are lucky enough to get a surgeon you go with him sight unseen but here in our land of commercial for profit medicine I would have hoped for some kick butt customer service don't you?

So in a nut shell-I will have a day long doctors appointment on Monday for pre-op tests and my surgery is scheduled for May 15. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Doctors Office just got suckier!!!!!!

yes i know that suckier is not a word! but I finally got a call back from the nurse practitioner who could not remember why she called. While I had her on the phone I asked if she could check on the status of things. She pulled up my record and GUESS WHAT--no REALLY GUESS WHAT!!! SHE SAID TO ME-WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR PSYCH EVAL....ok I lost it on the phone. crying yelling..I am not really a yeller (I am a bit of a crier) but this is just the stupidest most incompetent thing they have done yet. I called for 3 months checking on the damned psych evaluation. At first is was at the bottom of the pile for a month, then it was all with the nurse practitioner waiting to be approved and sent on to insurance. Well apparently that was all a LIE. If I had a spare minute in my day I would call around to another doctor and see if I can transfer offices with my records in tact---and boy oh boy i want an evaluation form to turn in! The nurse practitioner, to giver her credit, did jump quickly after this. She asked me to emil her directly from now on, and give her the phychs name and number. She apparently her to fix the problem. She called me back tonight with news but i didnt get to the phone on time. Who knows how much longer of a set back I am going to get now!! if it isnt sorted i will damn well change doctors. At the rate they are going im going to need new blood work drawn because the results in my file sat there and expired!!! like a can of year old diet coke. I am still livid and hot about it just writing this...I wish you could take these things over the staff's head. and have a chat with the surgeons-They just weave a stiff we of incompetence! When I finally do get an entrance invitation to see a surgeon i will spend some time on the topic that is for sure.

Om the much calmer home school front. Things are going ok. shockingly (sarcastic tone intended) she is learning much more than she was while in school. We are doing much more talking and problem solving as it related to everyday things...why did you do that? how does it work kinds of stuff. in addition for two days a week we go to a home schoolers school-its a very cool arrangement. teachers volunteer to teach classes and are paid from the money raised by those classes. kids can then pick and choose the classes they want. This last term Grace has taken a math class, messy art, spanish, drama and a 3 hour long socialize with her peers time where they investigate things in a very informal way. next term we would like to get her into a creative writing class, geography and maybe a zooology class. We will talk it over tomorrow and decide whether she will be there 2 or 3 days aweek and if so what classes she will take. and or drop.

Im still juggling my work load with being home with her all day. DH stepped up today and tomorrow to give me two days of work time so I will be free of it before we leave next week. I had some curriculum to write for an online course that I finished today and then my application for a post doc in Sweden. I hope i get it. What a grand adventure to have! :) as part of the application I have to plan my research goals in an 8 page paper asap-well by tomorrow really. I have about 1/3 of it done I just need to wrap the idea up in my head and organize it and then figure out what exactly I want to study in the two years I would be in the hinterlands of Sweden.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Yeah-well The Doctors Office SUCKS

So as you might remember I called on Friday to speak to the nurse practitioner who had called me and left a message!! Well it is now Wednesday I left a message on Friday and was told she would call back on Monday...NO....I called twice yesterday leaving my phone number twice and again...NO return phone call. It is sooooo frustrating!!!!

Friday, March 7, 2008

What's not to like about Friday?

Im have a nice easy day at home looking at the list of things I'm supposed to be doing-Like cleaning, home fix-it to get the house ready to sell, several articles to write, a report to write, lessons to plan, etc. Instead I am doing my usual looking around for something else to do. DH is gone for the week to Boston at a conference and it is just us girls (two dd's and me) and i'm tired of being a single mom!

I found a message from the doctors office one my phone. I returned the call and found out that she is busy today but will try and get back to me on Monday. Please everyone who reads (probably only you Bunny) fingers crossed that this is the call i've been waiting for!

of course even if it is Im sure i will have to wait until after the end of March to go in as we will be in Spain for 11 days yay hooray. My daughter is excited that we will be coming (my 20 year old is there studying abroad). I've never been to Spain so can not wait to see it.

Friday, February 15, 2008

7 months since I was told the waiting time was 4 months

Well it has been 2.5 months since I finished my psych. evaluation and 1.5 months since is was submitted to the doctors office and told it was at the bottom of a pile on the records person's desk I finally have been told that it made it to the doctors office! The person in charge of records said that for some reason all of my city is seeking weight loss surgery this year and that despite what my psychologist said no one in her office has ever said that it was a good idea to wait until the first of the year to submit paperwork (hmm who do i believe???? I frankly don't trust either one). All of my records are now sitting in a pile waiting for the nurse practitioner to read them and see if I am allowed to move forward for insurance approval. Which will then take another month. So if I calculate that things will go at the same rate they have been I will finally get this surgery in April. Probably when I am at my busiest at work or in Alaska with my oldest daughter helping out with my new grandchild.

On a more positive note-the trip to Hawaii was grand and warm! we got to see hump backed wales cavort in the ocean, sit by the pool and get a sun tan! pedicure! shopping! yippeeeee.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Holding Pattern With Vacation on the Side

Still on a holding pattern. I called the doctors office four times over the last few weeks and every time I have been told that either my psych evaluation isn't in yet or the fax was broken, it is with the nurse practic., or it is in one of two big piles on the scheduler's desk. She has not gotten to it, she has been sick....so on and so on. I was dreaming when i thought i would get this band in 6 months (the surgeon said 4). I will be lucky if i get it before spring term starts.

So if i had only 4-6 months to eat every food that might be my last good meal I think i would have been ok but with so much longer looming I am going to need to watch it and dare i say it.....Diet!! i have gained weight. The other day when my newly washed jeans i found they were very uncomfortable i got on the scale for the first time in a long time. It was not pretty-I put on 18 pounds and was quickly approaching that big 300 number that i never ever want to see on a scale again! Needless to say i have been on the straight and arrow since then. It must have been quite a bit of water weight because Ive already taken off 10 of those pounds. I am going to try and continue to behave myself (except for the occasional bit of drinking fun while on my upcoming trips-more later). Hopefully i can get back down to 282 (what i weighed at my first visit to the doctors office).

Vacations: My husband is in snowy finland this week and I am leaving on Wednesday to Tulsa, OK for a work conference. My parents are coming to babysit my 6 and 18 year old. No your right the 18 year old doesnt need a babysitter-but the 6 year old does in a big way! I wish I were going to Finland-sounds much more interesting. The conference is good though-lots of good presentations evening "meetings in the bar". Hopefully i can even do a bit of networking for a job next year.

DH is back on Saturday and so am I. we get to throw our laundry in the machines and repack to go to HAWAII!!!! yay hoorayyyy
DH has been gone way too much over the last couple of months and we are all suffering from the winter blahs. My 18 year old daughter and I are planning on staying pool side and on the beach as much as possible. I will try and catch up on some work but really focus on R and R if I can!

the bathroom remodel: we finally grouted and put the fixtures back up in the bathroom. I am waiting for a mirror and towel shelf over the toilet. I promise i will upload pics when it is done.