Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I need my fill back

I am back to scarfing food like a mad woman. Today has been one foodfest after another and if I weren't gluing my arse cheeks to the couch I would be in the kitchen sniffing around for something to stuff in my face. I just scarfed down more than one cup of tuna pasta! lunch was two pieces of homemade thin crust pizza. EEek! At this rate i am going to roll right up past 170 again and have to find some size 12 pants. I assume my period is right around the corner but sheesh...this makes me feel like thing were in the good old day (NOT) before I found decent restriction.

I am still feeling good about how far I have come but this trying to get one pound off or even maintain is a little scary when I can scarf down so much food. I will never not weight myself every day...ever again (I went years without weighing myself). It is just too easy to become complacent and let it roll out of control.

Can you tell i am more scared than mad or even depressed about this whole thing...I remember when eating 1/2 cup and that is it for dinner was depressing and scary. Now I am feeling the opposite. More than 1/2 a cup is freaking me out.

xxxooo

8 comments:

DiZneDiVa said...

You are amazing. Congrats on Rockin' your band! I got banded in March and have lost 93 pounds so far. This is my first time visiting your blog.. I look forward to reading further. *Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at BAND Camp... Follow my journey at mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com

AtoZ said...

Soounds clearly hormonal--just get on the scale every day, and give it a week, and it will pass, I'm sure,

Lyla said...

I understand being scared, but this too shall pass. You have the right attitude, you're aware, and it's not going to spiral out of control. I'm sure it is just a fluctuation, or it could be that you'll be fine maintaining on a larger amount of food. You're doing great, don't give into the anxiety!

amandakiska said...

I used to go years without weighing myself too.

I always think that if I'm hungry, I should eat. Rather than snacking, how about a meal? I find a good-protein rich meal will keep me fuller and more satisfied longer than a bunch of snacks.

Gen said...

Oh I hear you. I think it sounds hormonal too, and I agree with Amanda - have a high protein meal.

You are a Rockstar, you will get through this. Get a teeny bit more fill back!

Thanks for your comments, as always.

Lonicera said...

BUT BUT...even if your restriction isn't what it should be...
1. It's always going to be enought to stop you bingeing - never again will you be able to do that (as surely you must have done in the past?)
2. The l'il ol' band is still there lurking, waiting for you to use it again - it never gives up on you, even if YOU do.
Caroline

Rachel said...

I read your SOB story and it was so good! Thanks for all your comments on my blog. You always support me so well. With that in mind, I know this is just a blip and phase and it will pass!

Nella said...

Thanks Tina! YOU ROCK!