Today was filled wtih crap crap and more crap. Popcorn for breakfast, a cookie or two for lunch, two candy corns, a brownie and finally a small piece of fish with tea (not in that order) for dinner.
Today was busy and I used it (as I have done in my previous pre-band life) to eat crap.
The onslaught of crap leaves me wondering if this latest fill is going to be the last or if I am still a tad loose. I really need to straighten out my act over the next few days and see if this latest fill is indeed going to work as my 'last' fill to goal or whether I might need another.
I do very much suspect that I am afraid to finish this weight loss game. Just as my old fat self and free eating ways clearly defined who I was this newer long term weight-loss game has become who I am. I am constantly chasing another five pounds and I really honestly do not know how I am going to deal with being at the finish line. I realistically know it shouldn't be that different from what I have done but it still scares me. I have always lived my life with a new goal to take on. If this one has been met what do I shoot for next?
xxxooo
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
5 comments:
I hear you, babes. My weekend was also a crap filled one - mostly a boozy one..sigh.. but hey, its fun.. and I love it.. popcorn for breakfast? lol Just know you will sort things tomorrow (and if this all sounds a little um... rambely its cos I'm half tanked. eek! xxxooo)
I too can't seem to get away from the crappy eating. I think it is because I'm close to goal and somewhere in my subconscious it is saying-"the band won't work". I'm working on getting some sort of control back-cooking some freezer meals will be a big help. I seem to find myself wondering what to eat each day-no planning, so I'll try to plan my week of meals which hopefully will get me back on track.
I agree with you-sometimes we fight the successes we make and need to move on to the next phase. But it'll come for you. This questioning helps.
I think Fear of Success is a big and real thing! But what we all have to learn, I think, is that just because one goal has been met doesn't mean there aren't several thousand more to choose from. Perhaps once you've reached goal (as I'm completely confident you will) your new goal will be to stay within a 5lb mark of that for 2 months. Or maybe it'll be exercise related - an upcoming race or something like that, that is non-weight related. Whatever it is, you will find it!
Seems all of us who are close to goal are struggling with the same fears.
Hi Tina! I made a little something for you...e-mail me...I can't find yours. Jenslapbandjourney at Gmail
:)
Jen
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