I Never Dreamed that Cleaning House Would Count as Relaxing

I have been attempting some serious time off from work this month.  My yarn store for the month of September is officially closed on Sat, Sun and Mon.  Amazingly everyone when I tell them is VERY supportive of a small business owners need to take some quality family time off.

This weekend we filled our family time with:  Shopping at Ikea, Homegoods and Marshalls.  I scored-drawer organizers, bone china cereal bowls (pottery ones always chip to quickly around here).  Grace then went out for a sleepover and we had friends call-They were coming over for wine in 1 hour..holy crappoly..my house had a serious case of mess going on.

When I say serious I mean SERIOUS-too much work, too much play and no picking up piles of crap that really don't have a home to go to.  We quickly cleaned the main level (messing up our bedroom and my shop in the mean time) but...My living room, kitchen and dining room is finally habitable again.

On Sunday we took Grace to Horseback riding, went shopping to horse crap like fly spray and riding britches (don't even ask how bits of spandex can cost twice as much as yoga pants when they are made out of the same thing but with two reinforcing butt patches.

Back to her stable for a barbecue (it was OK but there is drama going on that I will address in another post).  then home to my clean living room kitchen and dining room..ahhhhhh that felt so good.

Fast forward to today-Monday.  After a morning of meetings and such Grace and I had lunch at our local and then came home with the intention of watching a little crime drama TV and folding laundry.  Two missing remote controls later I ended up poking my head into my daughters room...She had food with bugs ($$%@$#$@$).  After I had a momentary coronary we proceeded to do a major room clean, reorg and repeat the rules on NO FOOD IN ROOM.  The fruit flies totally creeped her out (thank goodness).  She was distraught in one of the mascara running bawling scenarios.

Now it is midnight-my house is a lot cleaner and for once I can say I am satisfied with my days off.  There is oh so much more to do around here but progress was made and I am feeling good.

Now there must be some hidden clue in here or technique that I could apply to my weightloss.

xxxooo

Little By Little...Step by Step

Its funny how the lessons one learns fade away at times and need to be relearned only to fade again.  My little quest to regain control of the scale is still on.  This weeks epiphany is...big changes kind of fail. Little ones changed progressively seem to work better (at least for me).

You all know abut my long and failed relationship saga with Starbucks.  My goal over the last week or so has been to back off not quit the coffee habit and increase the food related calories cause lets face it there have been days where most of my calories came from a stupid frappaccino.

so..Here is a reporting of a very (I think) successful weaning (not off just a step away mind you).

Last week I down-sized from two venti frapps a day to 2 grandes.  I did not feel any pain.  In fact the coincidental alignment with the return of my long lost period made it so I would have been too tight to drink something as big as a venti anyway.

Yesterday was round two of the cut backs.  The whipped cream on top is off the menu.  Now I have been very scared to look at the calories I have been ingesting ala Starbucks but now..now is the time to compare.  OHHHHH MYYYYYY GGGGG (yes that was a real time search and reaction..eek)

I checked...Calories of old: 540
Grande with whip: 420
Grande without the whip: 290
Tall will by 230.

I just cut my calories in half from those things.  hanging my head in shame.  Coffee milkshake drinks are evil.  This weekend I am moving to tall in the morning and an orange drink in the afternoon.  A Trenta sized one of those drinks is just 170.


The result has been good.  My ticker is almost truthful again.  The scale hit as high as 182.  This morning I was 177.

The Good the Bad and Hormones

I thought I had finally found menopause.

I rather liked it.

Everyday the same mood-Not always great but not the highs and lows of myself pre-meno.  No pads, no worries that I would have embarrassing 'accident' on that heavy day.  Now worries that i would run out of pads at an inopportune moment.  No 'difficult laundry'.  No gauging what day should I stay home because of high volume 'flo'.

The downside however was that with no water gain I didn't have a tightening and loosening of my ban during the month.  I managed to get really good at judging, sliding and otherwise maximizing my calorie intake with the restriction in place.  With the ebb and flo of hormones I retain water in strange and mostly a pain-in-the-ass-like way.  boobs, swell, ankles swell, I get tense and irratable (who wouldn't sloshing around an extra 3-5 pounds of water).  Even post-band I noticed my belly bloats (in a crazy and noticeable way).

but...that restriction....

So I had 6 glorious months of menopause.  I like it mostly.  I didn't like the creeping scale.  Not all of my weight gain is due to menopause but some of it definitely is.  I have now had two months of fertility revisited-out of menopause and back to normal womanly monthlies.  Mostly this sucks.  but a my little and significant silver lining is the band tightening that water retention brings.

I am tight..and although the recent stuck episodes (I have had a few) and a meal or three where I had a drink and discovered dinner was not going to happen were pain in the arse.  I mostly consider this a silver lining.  Hello again 170's I hope to see all of you.  Especially if I have to put up with all of this other hormonal crap.

I feel like one of these right now...

Did I Really Say That?

Drinking...ahem the calories.  Today my favorite girl machine-the scale-presented me with 178 :) I do like-y.

Food: grande frapp.  for breakfast
Lunch: One cheese-y omelet ala David.
Mid Afternoon: one grande frapp.

One Pimms Cocktail.
one hot chocolate and rumpleminz.

Dinner: 1/3 burger, 4 fries.  (these got stuck and returned about half).

The drinks came before dinner as we had 40 minutes to wait until happy hour...I have no business eating food after 8pm...I did it anyway.


Drink much?  :(

It is midnight and my tummy still hurts.  Oh..the stupidity.  I wonder if tomorrow's scale will be so kind.

It Is All About Eating Food

Well hit my up side the head with a 2x4 guess what?  When you drink your calories you don't lose weight!  When you drink your calories you gain weight.  Duh...but have I learned this enough to not do it.  Why of course not.

Today-More food down the hatch.  My precious frapp: (I had a free one and a girl can't pass up free can she?).  Shared an egg sandwhich with Grace (yes a splart of mayo).  I had the egg late so I wasn't hungry at lunch.  At 3:30 I had another Frapp.  and an oatmeal cookie (The Starbucks baked good suck now by the way..Bleh).  and then...way until 10pm I had a tiny tiny plate of nachos (8 chips, 1oz cheddar and one splart of sour cream).  Not a great day food-wise but there is more.......


Last night David made me go play Ingress (forever after this call the stupid game as we do around the house).  We did this get a group of people together to mark portals (landmarks) in our team colors and make them all at a high level.  Anyway..the point is.  This involved bucket loads of walking.  MIles and miles of walking.

The scale this morning in payment for my good behavior was...down to 179.0  I have been rolling as high as 184 and dipping to just above 180 for about a year now.  This 179.0 is grand.  I like this new tighter band and my better behaved self.  Fingers crossed I can keep it up!!  I want to see 170 again.

xxoo

view from my buggy windshield.  Driving along the Columbia River Gorge into the sun.

1 splart =1 tablespoon according to my 12 year old

Things my 12 year old says that make me go Hmm....

1.  After reading her my post from yesterday and the comments she said in a very authoritative voice:  Well actually a splart is a little known unit of measurement approximately equal to two tablespoons..hmm or is that one?  Of course I believed her because she has the gift of LIE---There is no such mention of a splart in any google search.  If you find one definitely link it.

2.  When the local air show (just 1/2 mile down the road) started their fireworks show at 10:15 at night and it ran until 10:45 she came into our room and moaned in a very moany way.  "what the heck are they doing making such a racket at this time of the night?"...Ok she is 12 and those are fireworks.  I would expect..lets go on the rooftop or can we walk and go see but?? when are they going to end????  I guess 12 is the new 90.

3.  David is restoring an old APPLE IIe desk computer.  One just like the one he learned on at the age of 10.  He ordered old floppy disks and they arrived.  He pulled them out of the package and asked Grace if she could identify them.  She did without hesitation and you should have seen him puff up with pride.  I then gave them both a rash of crap..as you could see him thinking in his head..that my girl..my technological nerd girl..she knows the gear.  Some serious nerd love going on in my kitchen over stupid floppy disks.

A photo of this nerd girl:

Two in Two days-Wahoo

Blogging is good for the banded soul.  After my several month hiatus I posted yesterday and  cconfessed to my horrible eating/drinking habits. Today I am trying a little experiment I am going to call..EAT FOOD DAMNIT! :)

So far:

Shared an egg sandwich with Grace: 1 slice of bread, 1 egg, 1oz cheese, 1 splart of mayo.
Mid-morning snack:  one Tall peppermint mocha frapp.
Lunch: Shared fish and chips with Grace.  I ate two oz deep fat fried fish (and yes it was beer batter and yes it was YUMMY).  one french fry.
Mid afternoon: iced tea (no calories baby)

I am not sure what dinner will bring-I will be back.

My photo of the day:  My cat Kokomo is a cutie-She can sit in the oddest positions in the oddest places.  Yesterday she tortured Grace from the banister.  If Grace went near she batted at her head using just those dangling feet.

August 24, 2008

I had a call from the researchers at the hospital last week.  they want me in to do follow-up blood tests, fitness junk, and psychological questions.  It has been almost 5 years since I had this lovely little band installed and I am pleased as punch.

Funnily enough I am on a losing streak again.  Even funnier is I am not trying really.  This band has decided to tighten up on its own and I have been experiencing greater restriction than normal..actually...unpredictable restriction.

I figured something out.  When one has predictable restriction you learn really quickly how to work around it.  Sneak in calories and optimize meals.

My typical, honest but not something to take pride in eating day:

breakfast: venti peppermint mocha frapp with whipped cream
Lunch: cheese and some bread/cracker/chip vehicle.
2:00pm-grande peppermint mocha frapp with whipped cream
Dinner: some small (1/2 cup) of food.  I usually share with Grace, David or have a cup of soup.
Late at night: alcoholic beverage (lately pimms with lemon aide or dessert)

Now is this good? no..is this normal sadly yes.

Now:
Sometimes the above, sometimes switch the drink to a grande at breakfast.
have an egg for lunch stay full until 2pm have a grande drink sneak a careful dinner down (a couple of bites or 1/4 soup).  then full until bed with maybe a little snack.

the unpredictable nature of the band right now means that I am scared to overdue it and waste food or drink.  Thus I eat and drink less across the board.

Of course what should I do?  skip the darned drinking and swap it for water of course.  Do I? well not so much.

I am facing blood tests in the next couple of weeks.  Blood tests do not lie..I am pretty sure they will find out if the above food is not enough of the good stuff and too much liquid junk in my trunk.

Now..exercise?  I have not been doing anything formal but we are still playing 'the game' of two posts back.  We walk around our neighborhood and I have a friend who tries to do 10,000 steps a day. I often walk with her int he evenings and thus by proxy get in 10,000 or so steps too.

The store is still there and going well.  The work load is huge and I am taking on a partner (fingers crossed it all works out).  The community college gig is still going well although I have taken summer off.  The department chair likes me and let me pick my class next term, days and times..I love him and if ever offered a full time gig..will jump.  Hence getting my partner on board so I can juggle both.

We have been doing a bit of adventures out and about.  Yesterday we went to the county fair and today a renaissance fair.  Both were good fun.  I even bought a bodice as I am planning a little costume for future participation and have been assured that I can wear it braless and it will look great.  Oh I will show you photos if it works at all.    wahoo..I was inspired to slip off my bra and give it a try :)  It is way more comfortable than I thought it would be!! and..voila even my saggy old girls are peeping north!!

 Grace and David Walking into the fair.  The tents you can see were the local SCA.  The shops and jousting were in the woods.  It was very well placed but had quote a few booths made up of cheap trinkets.  I would have preferred more handiwork kinds of booths.

 A spinner-A group of us are plotting to do a bunch of this at a local renaissance fair coming just down the road from me.  This is why I thought of getting a bodice in the first place.

 Even the renaissance fair needs a pub.  The green porta-potties were directly across the dusty path (eww)

 Sitting in the bodice. It is rather more comfortable than I thought it would be and boy oh boy are the girls hoisted.

Not bad at cinching in my waist either.  What do you call a muffin that appears below your bodice instead of above your jeans anyway? :)

Yup--I'm Tired.

I have been away.  I hope you all with all the of the good news, illness and sad news are hanging on.  I find that after all of this time I now measure the changes this band has brought in years.

The band is there.  It does its job.   I find it a comfortable friend most of the time.  Occasionally I wish for the odd free day where I could just sit down to a meal and eat without thinking about the order of items, when/if I can drink something with my meal.  I worry at times that some hidden portion of the meal is going to cause problems.

When I started this whole process I wanted to find something that would make it possible to spend my day not thinking about food all of the time.  The reality is that I do think about food frequently.  Although there are periods of my day where I don't think about when my next meal is or what I will have to eat, the fact is that deciding what to eat and what not to eat and drink does take some effort, planning and care.

What do I want for breakfast?  What should I have for breakfast?  If I wait too long to have lunch then I am going to be hungry late in the evening.  If I eat too late I will have acid reflux in the night and not sleep well.  In addition if I do not eat dinner I will likely choose something ill-advised in my weak-kneeed fatigue and pay the price later in the early hours of the morning. Am I eating the right things?  or Why do I constantly choose the wrong things?

Despite the long road traveled there is still never a resolution.  The days tick by and as with life there are good days and bad days.  There are days when I am satisfied with my status.  I saw goal and am a bit above it.  I have clothes that don't fit in my closet and those that do just as was the case before the band.  Of course those clothes are all several sizes smaller than those jumbled in my closet of old.  Even satisfaction is sometimes relative.

The self-loathing i sometimes felt with myself  reappears occasionally when I make repeated and particularly bad choices in food or failed exercise.  Mostly though-that part of my life is gone.  I can definitely say that my life is forever changed and mostly for the positive.

 The world looks on the obese as second class, lazy, unintelligent and/or lacking.  I do know that many of those stereotypes are wrong but one at least for me was accurate.  I was lazy.  Not because I somehow didn't care or avoided work but because I was tired.  Bone-weary, cannot lift myself up to do anything tired.  I have not felt that feeling in years. I feel fatigue, I feel tired but the kind that involves taking myself to bed and going to sleep not the I am awake mentally but I cannot move my body another inch.  My body is always moveable these days.  That is absolutely due to this decision, the band and the weight loss.

 People look through you or out of the corner of their eye not directly. It is not right, it is not fair but it is.  The transition to being visible was quite uncomfortable.  I have adjusted to directly looks, smiles, eye contact and even physical tough from strangers.  I did not know or realize that I did not get them until the band.  Thankfully I did not realize my invisibility until I was seen again.  This is not right.  I have altered how I interact with others as a result.

Balance in my life as before the band continues to be elusive.  Where before I would stretch my attention, time use and yes consumption of food and drink to the limits now my food and drink are limited by the band I continue to stretch my time, work and life to even more extremes.  This of course is because with the weight loss I have more energy to give and I realize that just as I seem to have lived a life of 'too much' before the band I continue to push those limits.  just not in the food or lack of exercise categories anymore.  Do we ever find balance?  I guess I will continue to try but sometimes I wonder if the band has really changed all that needed changing and whether I have to mettle to finish the job.

Nerd Alert..Video Gaming with Exercise???

My husband found a new game that has upped the exercise factor for our whole house.  I am shocked and awed and just downloaded the game for myself.  We put in a mile tonight.  David spend hours (yup..hours) walking around town today playing the (stupid?) game.  The game called Ingress is set up on GPS.  You pick sides (please please if you download it pick pick the enlightened team so we can play for the same team as we bandies after all have to stick together)..anyhow..the way it works:

you download this thing on your android phone.  you walk around picking up energy and finding portals.  You fight (by pointing your phone and pushing buttons) to control these portals.  Portals are nominated by players and are supposed to be interesting things to see (I like this).  There are two teams.  David and I are playing on the same one so we can work together to control portals now I am going to say this is easier than it sounds..the action part is easy..just point and click.  The taking over not so easy as a bunch of people riding around in cars, bikes an don foot are battling with you to also take control.

1.  The games gives you entertainment and gets us away form the house.
2.  The game I.D.s spots of interest in towns.  So far I have seen the tallest barber pole, the fire, library and post office in the small towns near mine,Various university buildings, a hiking trail head that I didnt know was there, pretty buildings in the park near me.
3.  We are taking our droids to Napa for Spring break..I wonder if there will be any cool portals down there?

You have to request an invitation.  I got a reply in about 3 weeks and got set up tonight.  David has put in for a portal for my shop..so i will have one on the front porch (funny eh?).

Frapp update:

I won't lie I have had a few but..the big But is..I don't crave them anymore (thank goodness).  I have some sort of drinky for breakfast still but it varies.  Sometimes a home-made protein drink, sometimes a latte, sometimes the frapp, and sometimes hot tea.

My weight:  still up and down between 177-180  (lifes a bitch on that score). Perhaps exercise will create some kind of change?  We are planning on getting out and about downtown tomorrow.

I will take photos of the strange landmarks we find.

xxxooo

6 Days

I am still on the Frapp wagon.  I cracked just one time and had my free one but quite unlike me normally (well at least lately)  I went back to my goal and did not have another.  I thought mornings were going to be the most difficult time of the day for this but its is my 2pm in the afternoon treat that has proved to be.  I had a Jones-ing bad for my fapp yesterday.  I was really tired and even following a short nap in my chair in the shop (less than 15 minutes)  I was still ...NEEDING my frapp.  I even went so far as to as Grace to run to the store and get me one (hey at least I didn't ask her to steal change from her college fund!).  She took a while to get her shoes on and thankfully I came to my senses  while I waited and had her get me a latte instead with just sweetener.  Calorie crisis averted.

I have been too busy to get on the scale.  It had come to a bit of a halt earlier this week but I am really tired and my ankles have started the swell up towards TOM so I kind of doubt I will see much.  I do hope this comes to something though.

Oh..did I say I would be gone for a few months???

xxxooo

Long Time NO...

I am going to be missing for a few months.  I will try and pop In but can't make promises.  It is of my own doing.  I am and always have been a glutton for work.  The store is going great but not paycheck worthy great. I do have a hubby who brings home most of the bacon but I have my own bills to pay and a Community College that is very kind, and likes me.  I called about Spring term to pick up a class.  They asked for Winter and Spring..I said yes.  So this is what I have been doing for the last few months.

1.  Mon, Wed. -Take Grace to school do paper work while she is in classes.  Home at 1pm finish grading or clean house.  4:30 pm  Drive Grace to Riding carry on to Community College to teach Math until 9pm.
2.  Tuesday-Store is open from 10-9pm.  I host crafty group in the morning, tutor a high school student for an hour then teach a class in PM..do the customer thing and paperwork in between.  I host the crafty group in the evening
3.  Thursday-Store open from 10-9pm.  Customers and shop work until afternoon, tutor a student for an hour, host craft group in the evening.
4. Friday: open from 10am-6.  One Friday host a craft group, one-3 others be on hand while another teacher conducts a workshop.
5.  Saturday-open from 10-6  mostly just customers and paperwork. Sometimes student tutoring. I do try to spend time just knitting or spinning while open.  About 2 of the  Saturdays there is a class offered.
6. Sunday-open from 10-2.  Just customers and paperwork.  phew.  I try to spin if I can.

I also fit in another consulting job when I can here and there-usually during paperwork times or when I don't have much to grade on Monday and Wednesdays for the math class...

Guess what I went and did for Spring??

The community college wants me to teach 2 classes.  I said yes..I am going to save my pennies and take summer off.  obviously something had to give.  I picked housework and blogging here..sorry :(.  If it helps I haven't been reading here or any novels either.  I am after all saving for a trip to the UK this August/Sept.

The reason I popped back in with this sad stupid story that I probably already told you is...I had a blog worthy event happen today.

1.  I have given up Starbucks frapps again.  On day two with success.  I am feeling OK actually and guess what..the scale is moving down pretty fast.  1 day 1 pound..can't beat that!!  The #$@%$$# company sent me a free freaking drink though as soon as I got through my first 24 hours.   Starbucks is evil I tell you.

2.  Grace talked me into going to our local Asian grocery store last week.  I tasted a bubble tea and decided to have one today as my lunch (I had a late breakfast with food!!! not Starbucks)..anyhow  I slowly drank the stupid big thing over the next few hours.  The tapioca pearls are fascinatingly scary.  Those suckers are big..I carefully sucked up each one and chewed it.  I got full..they slipped through the old band slowly.  Then Grace made me laugh..she positioned one like a rotten tooth and smiled at me...glup..I swallowed one unchewed..eek.  I waited and it was ok...waited some more..man I stayed full a long time after that bubble tea.  It was starting to move on at about 5pm on my way to work (yup I started drinking it around 12:30pm).  I decided to stop for a hot latte (yes at Starbucks but it wasn't a frapp damnit!!) and I didn't put any real sugar in it just that fake crap.  So I sipped my coffee because I know sometimes a hot drink will help to move the food (If I am very careful and have waited long enough)..All seemed OK and I burped..etc.  so I sipped a bit more here and there for the next hour at the community college while I did my office hour.  Class started...I started to talk about the topic (roots if you are interested)...and..suddenly the saliva started..and I had to say to my class...

um sorry had some bubble tea for lunch and it isn't agreeing....then I put some problems on the board and ....ran for it.  A latte and tapioca comes up quite easily :)..I then went back to teaching.   Just a touch embarrassing but I think I handled it quite well (gah..this used to be one of my biggest fears!!).

The only comment a student made was...Oh..I like bubble tea.

I am feeling good about this no frapp thing.  Day 3 here I come.

xxxooo

Ten Things Thursday: Some Do It..I have no Idea who started it.

1.  Sometimes these topics help me think of stuff to say.  It is funny. I have two other blogs that I never write on.  On of them I REALLY should because it is for the shop.  I would much rather post here.  Why is that you think?

2.  I have stuff to do but I am too tired.  I did NOT have a coffee today.  I think I need one?  What do you think?

3.  I still have a cedar garland hanging in the front of my house with lights!  Do you think February is the new Jan?  Below is a photo from last week:  It was Coooollllddd.

4.  I love photos in blogs but never seem to do a good job of uploading any for you. Should I try harder?

5.  I got a haircut yesterday.  My nail lady expanded and hired a hairdresser He left and now a new one has come in.  I really liked the old guy (John).  He did great color and man o man the massages that man could give.  He left to go somewhere else.  I am rather sad.  His replacement seems nice enough.  She knits and says she will come visit me here at the shop.  She works part time at another shop near here.  Is your hair dresser a man or a woman?  Which do you prefer and why?

6. The Gray is back!  We have had a really cold couple of weeks and I was beginning to freeze into a solid block of ice. On the up side we had sunshine with that cold.  Now we are back to gray skies and at least a little warmer temps.  Which do you prefer? Below is a photo of a project we are doing in the shop. It is a sky scarf.  You go out each day at noon and look up at the sky.  You then match one of 15 colors to that sky color and knit or crochet a row.

7.  I just plugged in my 'happy light'  The cat and I are now enjoying a little light therapy.  Do you suffer from SAD? Have you done anything for it?

8.  On Saturday one the teachers from the shop came in and we did some yarn dying with koolaid.  It was cool!  Have you ever dyed anything?

 The instructor Dorie

 You can see the Koolaid packets.  My yarn took two.

Dipping the yarn in warm water to get it ready to go into the Koolaid.

 These two squirted their Koolaid onto the yarn

 I dipped mine into the two colors I chose (Black Cherry and Orange).  The two containers and yarn went into a microwave and cooked, cooled and then rinsed in warm water.

The koolaid was really great.  When we rinsed it no color came out at all.

The finished blue and purple yarn

 Dore dyed a blank (yarn that has been knit onto a machine.  You then reknit it into whatever you want to make.

 Our finished yarns mingled on the table.

9.  Saturday night my grandson had a sleepover.  We decided to make a felted ladybug.  He is only four but with supervision/help and only one bandaid he made a great ladybug.

 punching the blob of red wool into a ladybug shape

 He wanted the ladybug to be round and smooth so we took the started ball into the bathroom added soap and rolled it around, rinsed and then went back into the shop for more needle poking.

 Next we poked on the black head, stripe and dots.  This part required some help.  He told me where to start the shapes and then he took over to make them smooth.

 10.  I Spin sheep fleece into yarn.  Up until now I purchased my already cleaned and dyed fleeces but this summer I received two fleeces in the mail.  One from a friend in the Faroe Islands and another from the Gulf Coast (LA).  I have been a little afraid to do anything with them because I didn't want to screw anything up.  The dying session helped me gain confidence.  Saturday night I got warm water, squirted in Dawn dishwashing liquid and went to town prepping it.  All this week I have added more fleece and rinsed the other.  I am hoping by Saturday to have an entire sheep's fleece cleaned and ready to card into something spinnable.  One of my customers has a drum carder and she said she will bring it over for me to try out. I cannot wait!!  Do you do fun crafty things?  What kinds?

The fleece came in the email in this bag.  It is dirty and smells of sheep (yum)..I like the smell of sheep.

The first wash shows just how dirty those little guys get running around the fields.  Yup..dirt, poop and grease.

 Close up but this is wash two.

 Every day I change the water and soap.  the cleanest half is now in rinse stages. You have to be careful with wool. You can heat it up but if you agitate it too much or cool it down to fast it will felt.

 It is still a bit yellow but I think this is just what color the fleece is.  It will be interesting to see if it takes dye well and spins well.

Always Look on the Bright Side :) or is that Back-Side

Just and update:

I am up and stable about 15 pounds from goal (I sway between 176-180.  I am usually cool with it..until I stand in my closet.  My lovely closet full of clothes for a girl who weighs 160-165.  Until now I mostly resisted the urge to trade up :) Although I have one size 10 pair of jeans from a trip to an eating free for all in Vegas and a size 12 pair of levis from this fall.

Today I cracked again but..for the sake of crack. :)  I traded up because...I am suffering from 'baby got back'  Whenever I bend over the skin and some new fat come spilling out of the top of my jeans.  If I had gone under the knife for a body lift this would of course not exist.  If I still weighed 160-165 my less fluffy back would just slip right down into that waistband.  Not today though..today was the last blooming day I could stand my back jumping out of my jeans..and here is why...

it if F-ing cold outside.  Whenever I bend over that damnable back fat came launching out and froze me to death!  My stubborn self froze to death by back fat I'm telling you :)

After Grace finished up her morning math/science class at her school we popped into Fred Mayer (my go to store for jeans..and groceries and coffee and well everything!!)..kind of like Tescos for you Brits.

So anyhow..just to add fluff to my back fat I invested in a coffee and then we were off.  We looked at the Valentines day goods..We wandered around the office supplies because I do love them so.  I picked up some pre-perferated printy cards that make index sized cards.  I also got a three ring punch (my other one has been lost for more than 3 years and it still has not surfaced).  I found a long length thermal shirt (might hold some back fat in)...then some underwear (because instead of granny pants I now wear hipsters).  oh..and then I ran across the women's department and there was a 50% off reduced price sale on rack after rack of pants/jeans.  I pulled 6 pairs to try on.  Grace pulled 2 from the non-sale size (darned kid!).

I found a pair of mom pants that go all the way up to my WAIST!!!  no back fat!!!!  They are size 12.  two sizes bigger than my smallest.  Gloria Vanderbilt is a brand that never fit before but these do..they are like trouser pants in cut.  I also found a similar pair of green cords too.

so at the end of this ramble (I do like a good ramble).  I have come up with this...

I am getting older and my junk is shifting.  I can live with the move to a size 12 for now.  I cannot after all continue to flash my back to the world.  I will keep my two new bigger girl pants but get rid of the other two big girl pants on my shelf cause they are way to short waisted.  THEN..I will get the newly uncovered bike thingy and hook my lovely neglected bike onto it in the shop workspace.  I will ride that thing as I have been saying I will do for almost a year now..and hopefully get some fitness back..damnit it.  Maybe I can even shed some weight and some of that damned back I have going on.

 Both examples of my best back...I am on the far right in both.  My back is doing fine here as both photos were taken when I weighed between 160-165.

I had a good look for some bad back pictures..apparently I have been in control of the camera a lot lately.  :)  only a few faces and from the front shots were available.

xxxooo

A Banded Bender

I remember way back...back when a food bender was a lot.  In fact I remember childhood days where we had taco eating contests and my aunt and uncles.  I distinctly remember once eating 12 tacos.  Any how as I moved into adult hood the benders  usually were on holidays.  A great big turkey dinner with all of the trimmings.  the run up days filled with cookies and drinks.  I always gained weight over the holiday.

As much as I would like to say I never have benders anymore I can't.  I am not always sure what brings them on.  Emotions? Stress? Hormones?  Who knows.  Wednesday was a bender day.

1. Three peppermint mocha frapps (no I have not managed to get off them and yes I know it is a big problem) spread throughout the day
2. Breakfast: one cup oatmeal with brown sugar.
3. Several short bread cookies
4. 1/2 bologna sandwich with cheese, mayo and relish.
5. McDonalds (yes I slept with my old boyfriend)-1 child size fries, 1/2 cheeseburger.
6. 1 cup OJ

This much food is weight gaining quantities big time.  To be fair...I did find out (Thank Goodness) that McDonald's and I are still no good for each other.  I kept the fries and burger down until 9pm (had them at 5ish)  I attempted to take a few sips of the child size diet coke and viola...over the next hour the burger and fries returned.

I know it doesn't look like that much but it is.  I normally have the coffee for breakfast..no actual food (although it should be the other way around-food no coffee).  Lunch is fine.  The other two coffees NOT.  McDonalds should have been a no go.  I won't for a long long long time that I can say with confidence.

The points-

1. No matter how long you have had the band those old nagging urges to be naughty come back.
2. We cannot always be good but the band is there still to give us a quick kick up the arse.
3. I know..all of this food would have been fine if would just quit with the slider stuff..It is a real problem that I see myself writing again and again on screen and failing again and again to solve.

And that my dears is life 'at goal'.  Still struggling, always struggling.

xxxooo

Talk about a roller coaster-

This weekend I was all sweetness and light.  Today not so much..I have a feeling it is hormones.  They bite..big time.

What should have been relaxing 'day' off was a touch stressy.  What does this girl do when she stresses?  Why manage to fool her old band into eating more than it should.  Coffee-check, ice cream? check...tsk tsk.  In the end I didn't really get a 'day' off as morning was the school run where I edited a paper.  In the afternoon my planned Downton Abby TV time with Grace became phone conference with a student, older daughter needing a checkbook that hubby had at work with him, cleaning out paperwork.  At one point my hormonal pity party reached a peak and I cried a little.  I packed up some checks, walked to the bank and had coffee number two with a little sitting down time.  It helped a little.

This emotional crap is for the birds however.  I am too busy this term to be dealing with stupid menopause uppydowniness.  (If I had a camera handy Which I don't I would take a photo of me shaking my fist at the gods....or one..or none..you know...that whole damn you higher power routine.

Teaching my night class was a mood lifter-thankfully.  the weather is a bit cold right now so I was a bit worried about my commute (it is across town about 45 minutes from my home).  I take a back way down a really slippery windy road on Mondays and it was 31 the whole way.  I took it slow but needless to say I was a bit jumpy about what the weather was going to do as it got dark.  I decided to get through the material we needed to talk about and then send my students home early.  NO sooner had I released my students that the school alarm system went off informing campus that it was shutting down for weather (I guess I am good at calling crappy weather conditions?)  Anyway..I got outside and into my car and it had warmed up???? weird eh?  I drove home in balmy 34 degree weather.

David thinks the security guys were just wanting an evening off duty :)

xxxooo

What a Great Weekend.

Have you told you how much I love where I live?  We have great neighbors, Great services, and a great location.

Friday night was Chardon-knitting at the store.  Basically I serve wine, people come and bring their knitting.  We make a little craft usually seasonally themed.  I serve wine and we work on whatever our projects are.  There were supposed to be 6 ladies but 3 came down with some flu bug or something so it was just 3 plus me.  We had a great time talking and knitting.  when Chardon-knitting was over David and I went to our local pub and had a drink and late dinner.  We visited with our neighbors who were also there.  All good fun.
                                       
This is a shot into the mirror behind the bar.  This seems to be David's favorite photo shot as he always takes it when we are at the bar and posts it on his facebook page.  Someday there will be a record of how much of a pair of lush's we were because of his recording each drink on facebook.  I am in the middle, David is on the left and our neighbor is on the right.

Saturday I took David out for his Christmas present.  I bough him tickets to a one man play about James Beard the food critic.  it was rather good. I had never been to a one man play before and they did a good job of revealing James' personality, did a wonderful job breaking the play up so it wasn't just one long speech or something.  we were also served an onion sandwich..it was apparently an appetizer that he once used to serve when he started catering parties in New York when he was young. white bread cut into circles with a wine glass, home-made mayo covering both pieces of bread.  Thinly sliced onion (I would suggest Vidalia, Walla Walla sweets or a nice mellow red onion would be best for this).  He then rolled the little sandwiches in more mayo and then fresh chopped parsley so they look like prety green edged wheels.  The little sandwiches tasted really good.

After the play we went to a neighbors house.  This summer Grace made friends with a couple of girls visiting for a month.  They were friends of our neighbors and as one does when the kids are friends we socialized with the parents.  The parents are two wonderful guys.  The family had such a good time in the summer they have decided to move up..the family are in the process of selling their house and then moving up.  One of the two is planning on getting a lapband too!  Anyhow..they were up for the weekend and we got to see them again. the kids got to play again. They are a great family and will bring the greatness that is where we live to a whole new level of fun :)

I had a decent day at the store and got a lot accomplished but not in a stressful kind of way.  David spend most of the day cleaning upstairs (oh yes he is in my good books for sure!!).  After I closed I worked some more and got even more stuff done (sometimes there is paperwork and yarn winding that needs to be done and never enough time to do it.  We then went back down to the neighbors for a final chat before the kids leave tomorrow.  The to the bar for a quick drink and then back to pick up the kids.  A bit of a chill in my relaxing family room chair and now it is time for bed.

Tomorrow, Monday. is my kinda sorta day off.  I take Grace to school, then home until late afternoon when I take her to Horseback riding and I go onto teach my math class.

Life is rather good. :)

Ten Things on Thursday-At Least This Week.

1.  The term started..although I am exhausted from working day and night 7 days a week (ok it has only been 3 but I can already tell I am going to stay tired)-Oh almost forgot the point here.  I LOVE TEACHING MATH.  I came home all high on work.  I forgot how much fun it was.  So although I don't love the commute (across town).  The campus parking is a mess..but I love my students.  I love the subject.  and I love helping them see that math can be fun, playful and easy (with conditions of course) :)

2.  My weight..phhhhht..Its an ASS.  The scale moves between 176-180 back and forth.  I was hungry as heck today.  Who knows about tomorrow.  I am still living with my half wardrobe (I refuse to get rid of the 8's and 10's that used to fit.  I have started falling back to my old fat wardrobe choices-tshirt with a cardi over it (slimming don't you know).

3.  The Yarn store...going great. On Tuesday I had 8 customers int he store at ONE TIME!!  my little old store could barely hold them all.  It was cool though.

4. I hired an employee.  She runs the store for me on Wednesdays (Up until today I have been closed on Wed.).  I hope she gets enough customers to earn her paycheck.

5.  Websites are an arse.  I spent tonight 'fixing' the webpage using Dream Weaver but it is hard to use and a style sheet went rogue on one of my pages slipping the footer up into the body of the page..making a big old texty mess.

6.  Grace started School (our local home-school support place)...I really aught to just call it private school. It is kind of that after all.  Anyway...She is liking it this term and we are getting into a groove.  She is excited about learning again which is a huge relief for me.

7.  My house is still a big fat MESS-boxes, charity piles, papers undone laundry.  a had a whole mess of spinning plates fall down when I put the store through storage platter up into the mix.

8.  I am a sugar addict and need to get a grip--when I get tired I go rogue and up the already too high amount of sugary products I ingest.  I wish eating right was easier.

9.  Exercise ...WTF?  I really need to find some and do it.

10.  good night all.  How are you this fine Thursday?  We are suppose to be getting snow..but it don't see any yet.

It is all about attitude :)

still holding on the coffee ban..sort of.  Just one freebie to use up.  I will not give in well except for that one.  I took most of my vitamins but I have discovered I hate CLEANING.

I like clean places.  I like no clutter.  I hate the cleaning up of the clutter.  It is beyond me how one household of three can accumulate so much crap.  For goodness sake I know I have sorted through this stuff twice in the last year.  I was obviously not brutal enough on the first two passes.  I want to be stealth, lean..able to turn on a dime.

The STUFF MUST GO...Meanwhile.

I bought a new big old shelf from Ikea to hold more shop stuff.   It is being assembled as I type.  David is useless with a cold now so I have hired my daughters boyfriend to do it.

I hope no customers come in while he is hammering and assembling..just no time to do it after hours.

Happy New Year..one day further..one day tired-er.

xxxooo

Day 1

1.We went to Starbucks today but I had tea :)  No coffee today.
2. The great Purge-We hauled 4 boxes of books away.  5 bags of garbage and 4 boxes of crap to Goodwill.
3.  I took my vitamins.
4.  Began the store rearrange but much more to do tomorrow.

Oh I do like New Year's resolutions.

xxxooo