I remember way back...back when a food bender was a lot. In fact I remember childhood days where we had taco eating contests and my aunt and uncles. I distinctly remember once eating 12 tacos. Any how as I moved into adult hood the benders usually were on holidays. A great big turkey dinner with all of the trimmings. the run up days filled with cookies and drinks. I always gained weight over the holiday.
As much as I would like to say I never have benders anymore I can't. I am not always sure what brings them on. Emotions? Stress? Hormones? Who knows. Wednesday was a bender day.
1. Three peppermint mocha frapps (no I have not managed to get off them and yes I know it is a big problem) spread throughout the day
2. Breakfast: one cup oatmeal with brown sugar.
3. Several short bread cookies
4. 1/2 bologna sandwich with cheese, mayo and relish.
5. McDonalds (yes I slept with my old boyfriend)-1 child size fries, 1/2 cheeseburger.
6. 1 cup OJ
This much food is weight gaining quantities big time. To be fair...I did find out (Thank Goodness) that McDonald's and I are still no good for each other. I kept the fries and burger down until 9pm (had them at 5ish) I attempted to take a few sips of the child size diet coke and viola...over the next hour the burger and fries returned.
I know it doesn't look like that much but it is. I normally have the coffee for breakfast..no actual food (although it should be the other way around-food no coffee). Lunch is fine. The other two coffees NOT. McDonalds should have been a no go. I won't for a long long long time that I can say with confidence.
The points-
1. No matter how long you have had the band those old nagging urges to be naughty come back.
2. We cannot always be good but the band is there still to give us a quick kick up the arse.
3. I know..all of this food would have been fine if would just quit with the slider stuff..It is a real problem that I see myself writing again and again on screen and failing again and again to solve.
And that my dears is life 'at goal'. Still struggling, always struggling.
xxxooo
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
6 comments:
I love that phrase "Yeah, I slept with my old boyfriend"!!!
HAHA In fact that's is exactly how it feels for me... the pleasure, the comfort, the ease at beginning and then the guilt and shame.
Very good analogy!
Mind you, the amount of food you ate shames me more :( I eat way more than that on a GOOD day!!
ooh dear... I guess I better look into that.
love and hugs
xbunnyx
Still struggling, always struggling here, too, babe.
Who knew it'd be a constant battle our whole lives? I guess I thought it'd be easier - silly me!! LOL
It may be a struggle, but you have the happy compensation of liking your image (most of the time!).
Caroline
I too thought it would be a little easier than it really is, but look on the bright side, before the band, all that would have been breakfast and then you still would have had lunch and dinner! That is something I am grateful for every time I have a bender, that the band stops me from going completely off the deep end! And allows me to get back ion track faster than ever before!
Great post. The struggle is still there! Its good info. Life isn't easy, WL isn't easy, WLS isn't easy.
Damn... I used to be easy. haha
I tried to have a milkshake for dinner a week ago.... that was a BIG mistake. Ah those things I used to love, now are so hateful to me.
I actually think that living with the band "at goal" is MUCH harder than the losing phase. Old habits die hard...plus a part of our crazy food addicted brain just hopes we can sneak in some of our old favorite foods and get away with it. Never works for me either...I pay for it for an entire day with vomit, slime , and or PB's. Hang in there.
Post a Comment