This morning my beautiful...wonderful...scale gave me another pound. 166...If that scale had lips I would kiss it. I think I have said it before but anything below 170 is gravy for me. It is coolarific beyond my wildest dreams territory that I have only reached once..one brief week at the age of 16 when I ran each day during lunch and drank a pint of milk for lunch. I then picked at dinner and attempted to eat nothing else all day. I credit this year of eating dangerously with setting up most of my binge and purge eating issues that followed. This was the first time I really dieted and set up the "perfect on" or "just plain off" diet behaviors that followed.
During this dieting period I reached an all time low of 165 and then If I remember correctly ended the week (yes I held this weight for about that long)with a binge. For this week my size 14 A-smile pants became baggy on me and I probably could have fit into a size 12 (remember the size scale has changed since then so that 14 is now a 12 and that 12 would have been a 10 by today's standards). Anyway I did not have the chance to go look for a smaller pair of jeans because I broke the diet one day after school when I took out a bag of instant pancake mix and proceeded to eat 4 very large pancakes with ice cream on top. I quickly regained the hard earned 5 pounds and rolled from 170-175 until I graduated from high school.
Today..my beautiful scale read 166 only 1 pound from that all time low. This time for the first time I am not worrying about a regain or even the loss of a thread of control because my friend the band helps me feel satisfied. Binges are a thing of the past. deep mental and physical hunger are mostly gone as well. I get hungry yes but it is a hunger easily satisfied by a small meal. I have learned to enjoy my flavors in small bites but savored thoroughly and completely in each bite. I view variety as my joy when sampling food. Before quantity is what it was all about.
2.5 pounds until I can say I am normal but really I feel normal now. Normal in that food is a part of my life that I enjoy but not a part that is wrapped in a roller-coaster of joy followed by self-loathing and fear.
2 years and 38 days from surgery and I have lost 138 pounds. that is about 5.2 pounds a month. So...Slow and Steady DOES win...and Patience and slow plodding is possible. xxxooo
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
4 comments:
Congratulations Tina - an inspiration to all of us!!
Caroline
That is just fantastic! Well done!! And, as you say, slow and steady really does win the race - you have the winning line in sight.
Awesome progress and such an inspiration for me. What a great post!!!
First, Congrats. In response to your comment over in my blog, I am not sure what the question was. Email me please, so I can understand. Again, a great accomplishment !!
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