We had people for dinner tonight. With the heat and stress of getting ready my band seemed to slam shut. I had a difficult time drinking the peppermint iced tea I concocted (nope..No vodka for me tonight this one was alcohol free). I actually had a dinner party where I did not eat any dinner. It was odd and it didn't bother me at all (the not eating part) but it is freaking me out a little bit.
While at my doctors office last week the doctor mentioned that she had heard of some WLS patients who end up head long in either bulimia or anorexia because they get so worried about gaining their weight back. I would never let the weight come back. This life at this weight is so freaking awesome that I never ever want to be the out of shape person I once was.
so the freaking out part is...I didn't want to eat because I wanted to avoid having an embarrassing stuck episode in front of every one. I did not eat because i wasn't hungry. I did not eat because I could tell I was totally tight. but then...this is really the first time that I totally skipped a meal because of it. It was somehow easier to just skip the food and drink my iced tea than it was to deal with the food. I hope that because i recognize this...that I wont fall into some sort of a social eating food avoidance thing.
Just so you know--I am one of those people that when I have one of those really big zits start bubbling under the surface I do an internet search and end up spending 2 days worrying that it is some form of rare cancer...it runs in my family :)..over active illness imagination I mean..not the cancer. :)
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
2 comments:
I think it is a great thing that you recognized that you really weren't hungry. I eat by the clock still and want to be able to eat because I am hungry. A skipped meal or two will not make you an anorexic. I hadn't heard that in all the research I did. Blogging puts this out in the open and you will recognize any problems sooner. Funny, but last night I was able to eat a steak for the first time in over 6 months. And salad. I was in heaven after being tight for so long. It comes and goes and I hope yours loosens up a bit so you can enjoy food.
Don't stress, Tina. I can totally understand why you didn't eat if you knew you were going to get stuck. I hope you ate something after your guests left. If this keeps up though, you should get a little unfill.
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