Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Body Image and Response to Comments on my Last Post

I really like my doctor but it is really hard to convey a relationship that we have developed over a year and a half. In the beginning I thought he was a poor bedside manner guy but a really good surgeon. Now I have figured out his bedside manner. He is really passionate about this stuff but also a bit of a nerd. I think he has learned how to communicate with me and me him..basically we now realize that we are both nerds and we have developed blunt but scientific communication that I love! I don't think I have ever felt like my doctor really knew how to communicate with me before and I feel like my lapband surgeon and I do that pretty well.

As far as what he said to me today-I am of two minds. I agree with him that we sometimes keep this magic number that we want to hold out for when really we need to be happy wherever we are. I hated my body when I weight 170, I Hated it at 180 at 200, and so on even up to 304. Well now that I am back down the scale I need to like both where I am and value the path thus far. I will and am happy with every ounce I have managed to take off with this band. I am holding out for the normal bmi because I have not weighed in that range since I was 16 (for about a week). If I can get there and maintain it I will be ecstatic. If I don't I know I will be healthy enough to be here when my grandson and future grandchildren grow up and have their own children.

We also talked a bit of research but I will tell you more about that later.

Thanks for all the comments guys!! I know my ticker says people read this stuff but it is good to know that others are interested in all of this sometimes.


tessierose said...

I struggle with the same things. It seams that I've never been truly happy with my body and I know that is an area that needs a great deal of attention, if I'm going to lose this weight and keep it off. Great post.

LDswims said...

I was glad to hear that he would at listen to you. I always feel like, with my docs, that if I say something other than what they are saying, I am wrong and the rest of the conversation is to prove such. And sometimes I can have accurate and valid opinions, too. You are not wrong to pursue BMI and even further, to keep going past HIS goal. I love that you could and did talk and say what your thoughts were and WHY. And it seemed, from the blog, that he heard you. That is impressive to me - it does show a good rapport that time would have developed.

I am right there with you - right now, at 230, I am not happy with my body and would do anything to be 180. But when I was 180, I was not happy and I would do anything to be at 160. I, like you, want to appreciate this path and stop seeing my body for what it can be and see it for what it is. I will be at goal when those match - can be and is.