Calmish Night

Last night was much better. I was finished by dinner at 7 and had two corn chips at 8. After that I worried all evening as I think dinner (a rerun from last night) was not settling very well. I took two tums before I went to bed and I didn't have any trouble last night.

I think it is the beef stew I made with whole tomatoes and peppers. I will for sure watch it though as I think acid reflux seems to be the big warning sign when things are going to take a turn to the bad. I do not want an unfill if I can help it.

My scale registered at 181.0 this morning (I was hoping for another drop into the 180 or even 170's zone. It still gives me a surge of joy every time I get on the scale and it moves down (even if it is just ounces).

I have read a bit about people trading one obsession for another after they lose weight. Now I was never obsessed by food and I have altered my life away from so much work and towards more leisure time but....I have noticed I am shopping a lot more than I used to. I am gong to have to keep a lid on it and monitor things I think. One of the things I notice is that because I have so much more energy after this weightloss I am no longer happy to sit and watch TV all evening. I am trying to find things to keep me occupied (including cleaning house) but it is a new oddity that I didn't really think about before losing weight.

Last night i burned up some of the energy with another round of bathroom cleaning to get ready for our Independence day party this Sunday. I also cleaned my sewing room and sat down to work on a make up bag for one of my daughters. When I looked at all of the stuff I have accumulated in my sewing room I decided that it was time I finished things already started instead of getting stuff for new projects.

My First Bedtime Acid Reflux AKA the Acid Rocket

I was seriously evaluating whether it was time for a little top up. The day after my little Montezuma episode improved I went on a serious crazed food seeking bender. I was ravenous. Every item of food I saw, could reach or could even dream up sounded absolutely delicious. I felt very open and used this band laxity to graze my way through candy, cookie, cake, roast beef, vegetables, cheese, crackers, some dry cereal and even a couple of sausages.

Yesterday was a bit better. The hungry beast calmed down a bit and I was mostly good during the day but after dinner (A nice healthy one i might add) I felt that hoover feeling again and had a small frozen yogurt at 7pm and then another pina colada yogurt with a few chocolate chips stirred in at 8:30.

Then I went to bed at midnight. I felt a bit full and did a bit of walking around the house until I felt like the food had made its way south. So I went to bed and fell asleep. About one hour later I woke up coughing and in a panic. The acid launched up my esophagus like a rocket. I jumped out of bed thinking I was going to have to throw up but no...just horrible tasting acid. I did a bit of spitting and drank some water followed by burping and tried to go back to bed....ahh no...more acid rockets. I finally sat and rested my pillows stacked high on my lap, leaning my head forward so I could doze while keeping the acid down. As soon as I nodded off to sleep-another burst of acid. I thought this finally dislodged whatever it was and again no--I laid down and more acid. I got up and grabbed my box of tums and started popping them every time I woke up. The rocket scenario happened each and every time i fell asleep and about 6 times in total. I finally burped a final time and viola..no more acid and I could fall asleep at 4 in the morning.

Today my stomach has been a tad tender. Breakfast gave me grief and I have been trying to take it really easy on my tummy. I am hoping this is another cycle of tightening as my band seems to do periodically. I dropped a little lower into 181. Normally I tighten up as my scale cycles up and loosen as it cycles down. This is a tighten and cycle down combo.

Now some good news...My hair is growing back in. I have an annoying hair halo when I put my hair into a ponytail...a bunch of baby hair is cropping itself all over my head.

My brand new swimsuit is getting too big!! It seems that the smaller you get the quicker your sizes change. I wore one suit for almost 100 pounds and now 5 pounds and my boobs are flopping out of the bra cups because they are smaller!!

Happy Tuesday.

By Request-Before and After Montage

I have slowly been working on the SOB profile for Gen at I Heart the Band. The before and after pictures took the longest. It is funny how in the beginning i just wore any old horrible outfit and took the pictures. Now I had three photo-sessions before I was satisfied with my after pictures. Go here to read the full interview with pics.



I labeled each picture but I do not think it is viewable (not on my little computer screen anyway). The first picture: 298 pounds August 2008. The second picture: June 2009 250 pounds. The third picture: 199 January 2010 and the fourth is 181 pounds June 2010.

So all of you who are just getting started note the length of time it took for the weight to come off. it took almost a year to lose 50 pounds, then 6 months for the next 50 and finally slowed down again for this last 20. Have patience and keep working and filling.

Just to spice it up a little-tat pic.

While trying to get a decent 'after' pic I snapped this of my tattoo.


My tummy is better but not happy yet. I can just barely make it in time instead of having a few misses as was happening yesterday. I had a little preview of what my old age will look like. Thank goodness one of my children is training to be a nurse. The other two had better be earning a good living to pay Cinda for her services :)...

The good news is the whole tummy thing helped me get another pound off my carcass. Hopefully it won't come back on with fluids after.

BYOC and Montezuma's Revenge

1. This comes from my post yesterday about me bragging that I can still wear the same earrings I wore in high school….got me to wondering…how many piercings do you have? (the ones you can tell us about anyway – *wink wink)

I have two holes in each ear. I wanted two in one and one in the other but my mother insisted if I was going to have a second ear piercing that I have symmetry. The funny thing is that I rarely wear earrings or any jewelry really now. My ears are usually bald :)...


2. I'm asking this one because I'm getting another tattoo soon…and even have plans to get one of a lizard – my little Draz – because this blog and you all have become a major part of my life. Anywhoozle – how many tattoos do you have? If you have none and wanted to get one – what would it be?

I have one tattoo but i have had two tattoo sessions (added to the canvas). The first was to celebrate my Ph.D. I got a lamp (Latin symbol for learning/education). I got that one in 2006. I was never completely happy with it and this Spring when My dad, brother, sister and I became registered members of the Cherokee nation and I hit 100 pounds loss right around the same time I did some fixing and addition to the art- The lamp now has some color (still don't love that part) and I have added In Cherokee across the bottom of the lamp the words 'everyone is important' and then floating in a cloud above the lamp is a tribal turtle that symbolizes wisdom and my weightloss ticker symbol.

I have plans for another tattoo on my thigh. When I can ride my bike for 50 miles I will get half a bike cog and when/if I ever do 100 I will get the rest of it done.

My husband has an aversion to tattoos....but all of my daughters (except the 8 year old) have tattoos on their fee like I do. It has kind of become a family tradition.


3. If you've ever suffered from a weight-loss plateau, what's your best advice to get past it?

I have a few times-When I hit a plateau I try to really pay attention to what I am doing or not doing. I really reflect on what I have been eating, how much, how much activity or lack of it that I have been doing. During each of my plateaus it has been a combination of both-fat loss around my band and another of the incremental changes in my habits that needed to happen.

1. Fill-are you hungry and snacking more?
2. Are you eating ice cream or too many sweets that slip through?
3. Are you exercising or sitting on your butt?
4. Are you eating enough/the right foods at meal times?
5. Are you getting enough protein?
6. Are you drinking enough water?

I go down the lists and it is at least 3 issues every time. Getting a fill and altering habits at the same time has usually got things moving again.

4. This is a repeat. I liked last week's challenge for BYOC and I saw a lot of people this week follow through on the promise they made last week. You pick one thing for just one day next week that you want to do….and mentally doing it for the one day can totally jump start more successes. And I feel like I can do anything for just one day.
What will you do for just one day in your quest towards health?

Get back on my bike and ride the Banks Vernonia trail (17 miles)

5. Repeat *make someone a Superstar* question – what's your favorite blog or comment of the week?

Linda's discussion about slow food. I go back and forth between eating slowly and too fast. I have mostly gotten the chewing part down now but it is amazing to watch other people in public eat now. I watched a guy inhale a hotdog at Costco the other day in 3 bites. I know I have come a long way because i used to do that same thing. But---I can still knock back food way to fast sometimes.

So...Mexico has given me the gift that keeps on giving. My bathroom has had to go through some major cleaning and my husband had to come home from work with a stop off at the store for some Peptobismol. The good news is that you can get a lot of cleaning done in your bathroom when you need to stay in close proximity to the toilet.

Home Now and Had a Good Time

After I last left things I was headed down to dinner in the lobby. I skipped the orange juice and vodka and went for a Diet Coke instead. The good thing about Mexico is that they let you sit and take your time over a meal. I got to slowly drink my soda and then slowly eat my soup...I ordered a super yummy bean soup with a cheese kind of like cottage cheese and thin strips of tortilla chips in it. I mostly went after the cheese and the runny bean soup. I managed about half and then ordered flan (I love flan). I ate a little more than half of it.

Today was pretty much just traveling home day-up at 6 and out the door to the airport and then Houston and then Oregon with some waiting bits in between. I went ahead and ate my lunch on the Houston flight. I was really hungry today (Probably my body decided it had better get me eating :)..either that or i managed to drop some more belly fat on Tuesday. They offered a chicken sandwich with swiss cheese. It was really rather fresh and good considering it was airplane food. I peeled off most of the bread and saved the chocolate and potato chips for later. Sitting on the plane is not too good for digestion. everything seemed to go down fine but after I hit Houston and made my way towards the Immigration line I had to take a side trip to the bathroom for a tiny spit PB. Probably the sandwich was too much for the funny angle my poor stomach must sit in on a plane.

For dinner it was HORRORS----a cheeseburger on the plane. There is only one food that I DO NOT EAT---yup hamburgers. No matter how hard I try They always come back up eventually. I ate the chips I saved from lunch, the chocolate and I took the cheesy bun top and ate just it throwing the rest away.

I did try to drink a lot of fluids but my legs and ankles are swollen from my trip. I hope I get to see a little weight loss over the next few days.

OK-the non-foody stuff.

I did like Mexico City. It is a strange sort of place. In a sense it reminds me a lot of Madrid. Quite a bit of choc-a-block housing mixed in with businesses and window shades. the water things on the roofs reminded me of Spain as well. There were also a lot of the same shops but also---many of the same ones we have here in the states though too. There is so much English on all of the signs and TV it is a wonder they manage to keep speaking Spanish.

The people were very nice, friendly and helpful but there was always a slight feeling of unsafeness...For example one of the people I was at the meeting with lived in a nearby neighborhood of attractive looking houses that the hotel looked over. From my 7th floor window I could see each of them from above. They each were surrounded by a wall with a yard inside and then of course the house and garage. On Tuesday when I rode back from town in the expensive taxi he took us through the neighborhood. Well each of these very middle class homes were fairly covered in graffiti when they were not protected by vines and each of the walls were topped with razor wire, electric fences or big security cameras.

It was very much a yin yang feeling...such warmth and history but an edge of poverty and fear. Now having said all that I would go back in a heartbeat. There is much more to see and do.

It Was In My Head-Mexico City is Good

Ok the Jamon stayed down as did the cheese. I slept in and left the hotel at 11am. I took a taxi ride down to the main square and walked around the cathedral an archeological dig (skipped the museum) and then down a few side streets to look in shops. It is interesting that all of the shops are arranged by the type of goods here. I found one street that was all fabric and notions another that was jewelry and another that was men's clothes. I like fabric stores so it was nice to see what they had and how much per yard things were. The zippers and ribbons etc. were really inexpensive as was most of the fabric. I didn't buy anything mostly because I am a big chicken and avoided trying to communicate. I also know that I don't really have any room in my suitcase to go home tomorrow.

After window shopping I went into an art museum and had a look around and then walked back to one of the hotels to get what the concierges call 'safe' cabs. I have no clue whether I would have done just fine with the regular cabs but I guess better safe than sorry. I took a cab to the anthropology museum. I was VERY GOOD. On the ground floor were archeological artifacts from all of the native populations in Mexico and on the second floor were displays about how the Spanish occupation changed them as well as much of their modern culture. I really enjoyed the museum a lot.

It is the rainy season and while I was in the museum (I didn't have a clue) it rained really hard outside. I left the museum and walk under gray skys to the nearest hotel (about a mile). I thought the storm was coming in but did not realize it had already dumped a bucket load of water on the city. I got a cab at the first hotel I came across (man pesos are hard to come to terms with as the cab fare was 400 of them). I rode home for at least 2 hours in bumper to bumper traffic. The rain had flooded many of the roads and most cars were having huge difficulty getting through them. Some roads had to be closed. I was in an a tall SUV so thankfully when we finally got up to the flooded streets the driver could forge them.

I am now back at my hotel and planning on going down for another drink and some sort of dinner. Food is kind of difficult as I go back and forth between fear that I am going to get food poisoning and fear that I will get a huge portion that I cannot eat. I have had a lot of water today but only a protein bar for food. I feel fine but I know I need something to eat. It is now 8pm I guess I had better get down to the lobby. Dinner starts late in Mexico but when I go to bed my stomach doesn't care what city I am in and needs to be empty.

The Presentation Went OK-Great Hospitality

I slept on a really hard bed but did sleep. I managed to remember my pants and arrived int he lobby to meet the person who invited me to speak at the conference. I think the presentation went well but it is hard to tell how well the translator managed to do her job. Most of the people who gave me feed back spoke English. I did get a follow up invitation to do a workshop here and another to speak in Tijuana eventually.

I spent most of the rest of the day in conference sessions where I really understood only a little of what was going on. The topics sound very interesting but when you cannot understand most of what is being said around you the jokes fly right over your head. I discovered that powerpoint slides are a powerful tool in helping second language speakers stay focused and understand you. I had one and another presenter had one but the remainder did not and it was much harder to keep up with the thread of the discussions. It does make me want to return to Spanish lessons so I can do a better job of communicating.

I am right now sitting in the bar. I had a yummy vodka and fresh orange juice and am taking my life into my hands with a plate of Jamon (smells like dirty feet) and cheese. Pray for my stomach health.

On the food front I had to face the dreaded meal with the conference goers. It was tough going as the first course was pasta with a green tomato sauce. I picked at it and chewed really well. That was followed by a very large piece of chicken with ham inside and steamed vegetables and finally a very large piece of tres leches cake. Every thing was absolutely delicious and I ate an embarrassingly small amount that was noticed by my table mates. I was asked if I had a problem with the food and all I could say was I was full..which I was but im not sure they believed me.

The view from my hotel I found out today is of the olympic village (sorry no pics as I left the beast at home). In the front is the mall I already mentioned. Tomorrow I am skipping the conference and another very kind conference goer who has lived her for 28 years has written up an itinerary that I will follow. First the main square and an glaciological dig museum followed by a walk and lunch to a historical park and finally the anthropology museum. I am going to live on the wild side and hope for decent cabs. Apparently they are very expensive here.

Update--the Jamon in cheese is not feeling too good...a little nauseous. I knew when i tried it that I should be afraid. I am trying to remain calm and collected. Saying to myself--its in your head its in your head.

The Mall Stays Open on Sundays in Mexico City

My hotel is across the street from a monstrous shopping mall. I will go over tomorrow or the next day to have a look. The traffic is heavy and the mall is packed even though it is 8pm on Sunday.

I am super sleepy and navigating food on a plane was tiresome. Wayy too many carbs pushed at you and not nearly enough protein. I brought along some protein bars in case i get in a pinch.

I found out that my food is included in the hotel bill here. I am being hosted by the conference University where I am giving my presentation. I came expecting to have to buy my food and they told me at the desk. For 900 pesos I have unlimited food and non-alcoholic drinks plus my room for 3 nights. I think that is pretty inexpensive but I have not fully explored the exchange rate. It is going to be a fairly good deal for them food-wise as I don't eat hardly anything anymore. I ate my other half of a sandwich from lunch for dinner so today will be no food.

A driver picked me up at the airport (I felt quite fancy to get a driver holding a sign with my name on it). A bit of a problem though. He drove me to he wrong hotel and left me!!! When the clerk figured it out she got me a new taxi that cost 100 pesos (it was really 70 but I had no change) to go 5 minutes by car down the road. The sidewalk situation is not too good so I went the expensive route. Again because I didn't check the exchange rate I have no clue how much money 100 pesos is.

There is a two hour time difference here so I need to go to sleep earlier. The good news is that I am toast from waking up so early this morning. My wake up van arrives at 8:30 am and my talk is at 9am. (keep good thoughts that I do not make a fool of myself)...thinking forget to put my pants on kind of stuff here :) haha

Down One More Slow Pound and Off To Mexico

I am off. It is 4:23 am and I have been tossing and turning since 3am as one does when one is worried about leaving. I hopped on the scale and she provided me with a long awaited extra pound off to start my day. I will probably put 3 or so back on as I always do when I take off on trips. On my trip to Spokane I found 4 pounds. Thankfully the four came off quickly but only to the 184 mark. The pounds come off so much more slowly lately.

I will post if I can get internet easily.

Back to Crazy Land

My careful calm life has been a bit uprooted over the past few days. I don't know if it is a state of mind I have fallen back into or if it is just plain old too much to get done but for the past few days we have fallen back into our old too much time in the front of the computer with work, running to meetings and lessons and broken computers.

Meals have slipped, housekeeping went down the tubes..sleep? arghg.

I definitely know I quite like the organized, lower stress life I have carved out over the last few months and I am going to do my best to keep my fingers on it.

To Do List:
1. Mexico City/finish presentation
2. Leave on Sunday/Pack
3. schedule Graces Horseback lessons
4. Syllabus for math class
5. Improve course online component
6. Evaluation plan
7. Newspaper article wrap up
8. Newspaper advertisement for tutoring
9. get new, new computer files transferred
10. eek...what happened to summer?

right then...maybe I can hammer through the list tomorrow.

Computer Woes and A New Swimsuit

My first computer died on Sunday and I barely managed to get some of my most important work files transferred over to my new one and it crashed!! The darned monitor broke and I could not see anything. Most of the day I spent trying to get it to start (start, restart, pull out the battery try again....) I then decided to give up and go with a friend to shop for a swimsuit. While we were gone I left the computer with her kind husband to fiddle with while mine was at work and too busy to address my needs :)..

I found an acceptable swimsuit. I don't think I will ever be 100% happy with something that either exposes my boobs, stomach or wrinkly legs and have never been 100% happy with any swimsuit. My suit shopping mantra was...quit worry about your legs/boobs/stomach. Believe me when you were at the pool before the band people were not looking at those body parts when you hauled your very large self into the water.

I ended up with a one piece wrap suit that has a bright bamboo leaf pattern with a navy blue background. I compromised boob coverage (meaning I now have that) for leg exposure(meaning the wrinkly puppies will be exposed) and hope to find a sarang to help cover things while I am at least sitting pool side.

Overall shopping for new swimsuit was not the traumatic experience it once used to be. I probably tried on 50 suits and when I was done I had 4 to choose from. I found two potential tankini type and two wrap style one piece suits. The one pieces gave me the best lift (my poor boobs are deflated balloons but still bigger than the model swimsuit wearer apparently). I tried halter style (boobs spilled out the sdies, band-style (boobs went like a spare tire), racer back (better but escaping flesh). The skirt bottom was nice but without a great top really didn't help me. The racer back style were the two in the maybe pile.

Has anyone found the perfect balance swimsuit? How about suits for the girls with big saggy boobs?

Yep..I got distracted

I had a couple of busy days at my new job last week then had to give two final exams for my other job, then tutored my two students and then packed up and drove to Spokane for my Nephew's high school graduation and it all adds up to no computer leisure time.

Oh and to top it all off my computer bit the dust this morning. Thankfully because I have a nerdy technophile for a husband all it took was a phone call on my drive home from Eastern Washington and by the time (5 hours later) I opened the front door to the house he was setting up my new Toshiba netbook computer.

one and 1/2 years ago my very expensive apple computer died a nasty death after three years of use. I was mad as the thing cost way too much. I chose it because i was sick of having to get a new laptop every four years. My husband decided that the only chance I had of finding a computer that would last more than four years was to splash out some cash and go with an Apple...well...not so much. It gave me nothing but trouble for three years and then died.

My new tactic was to go cheap and dirty. So I figured at $400 dollars I could afford to get a new computer every year. This seems to have done the trick. exactly one year and 6 months later (wow a 50% bonus life span) I am buying a new one. It is bright and shiny and boring black but it has a better outlet than my newly expired HP and someother bits i didn't know I always wanted :)

Now onto my latest bandy thinking:

The graduation party was the first time in quite a while that I had seen my extended family. At 120 pounds lost it was to say the least noticable to them. They did a bit of wow looking good and a lot of ...wow you have wrinkles.

but the important bit...so a few weeks ago I got to thinking about food and guilt. One of the best things (and I think I aleady wrote about this) is that I no longer feel guilty about going into a store and buying a candy bar or eating cake at a family event. Well this was one of those family events. The kind where there is crap all over the place. There was a hamburgers, hotdogs, pasta salads, chips, dips, potato salads, desserts etc. I had a bite of hamburger and a bit of hotdog (went down quite nicely thanks :)))...and then I watched. I watched every single overweight person at the barbque pick up 'bad' foods and look around guilitly as they popped the item onto their plate or mouth.

What in this world have we done to ourselves to make fat and eating such a guilt laden activity!!!

Cooking, Food and 120!!!

After reading Roo's blog post this morning and indulging in my own cook fest this afternoon I got to thinking about stages I went through post banding.

One of my 'stages' was a period when I mourned food. I couldn't eat hamburgers and fast food. For a while I stalked a couple of blogs that did hamburger reviews at various local fast food places. They took pictures of their meals and rated them using scales of hamburgery lovliness. Why did I need to see hamburgers? I think it was mourning. I had to say goodbye to my lovely burgers and fries. I had salivating chewing experiences where I drove past a hamburger place and found myself having spontaneous fantasies where I relived my old eating feelings. Eventually I gave up the blogs. and gave up the desire to drive to hamburger places. I don't even miss them much anymore. I can have a bite occasionally if my husband has one but that is good enough.

What is weird though..is that I would say I think about food more now than I ever did before I got a band. I plan out my small culinary experiences so that I can savor them. Today I spent the morning cooking a rich Turkey burger sauce that I had for lunch over bread cubes and parm. cheese (recipe with pics will be here tomorrow). I also made cream of mushroom soup ala Julia Child. This evening I whipped up lemon scones.

I think this new desire to cook comes from three places. One-I want my piddly small meals to count. I want each and everything that passes my lips to be the best quality the best tasting and exactly how I want it. Why waste such a small amount on something of poor quality and not good. The second place is a new found freedom to have baked goods, bread, and truly tasty foods in the house. Most of the time baking cookies or scones will not send me off on a full on food fest of hoovering the whole batch. One cookie or scone is good enough. They will be there tomorrow and I can whip up another batch in minutes. I can only say most of the time because I have still had the occasionally snack-bender and need to watch for the signs. Finally..three-I have enough energy to shift myself into the kitchen and keep the house clean and get my work done (I also am only working part time so have a wee bit of time too)....


so from food mourning to food reawakening and very transformative. Really a nice place to be I think. Have you mourned food? Have you changed your thinking about food? How about expanded your food choices? Lets see how many comments I can collect this time :)

OH...and...I have officially lost 120 pounds as of this morning.

Tina

Long Range Goals: Short Range Action

My daughter and I were talking about life and philosophy today in the car. She was telling me how much she has learned about life and living by doing her Master's Degree in Math (seems unlikely doesn't it??)...anyway. I told her that I felt like it took not a Ph.D. but a lapband to teach me what I needed to learn. We agreed that we basically learned the same thing both in our different pathways.

I have learned that you have to do both-make long range plans and then connect those plans to a series of short range actions in order to reach your goals. Now one would think there have been a lot of situations in my life that I was successful at that required knowing and applying this idea. Really...not so much. Sure I 'did' school. I 'did' work. I had a family...all long range 'plans'. The thing is...They weren't really long range or planned very well. Until this last year I pretty much bumped along attempting long range plans but never making the connection that what I did today impacted not just now but my pathway to a future as well.

School-I did it in short steps. I did not really plan a pathway but did whatever needed doing next and even that was often done at the last minute. Family...um have a couple of accidents and a couple of planned children. In either case it did not take long range anything quite the opposite in fact. Raising children can be done from day to day-getting from one joyful moment to one crisis after another. Food..nope I always wanted to be thin and I knew what many suggested I should do to get there but I was never a 'planner' or a writer downer or a self-indulgence denier.

So now you might think-hang on a minute Tina always argues that this obesity thing is more physical than behavioral. The band is working the physical and allowing her to behave. Yup I still hold my ground on that. The thing is that in starting to view this weightloss from the other side of the hill looking back down the cliff-side. I see with some clarity what was always clouded by my tiredness and drive to eat. I can make bigger plans now and figure out the mini-short or even medium range plans to accomplish them. Here is how I worked it in a bandy example.

The physical-I was tired and hungry (to combat the tiredness)---I used to eat. As the weight came off the tiredness started to lessen. The short range Action- I walked more. I stopped parking close to save energy. I stopped driving to places that were less than a mile a way. I found a fun exercise to do regularly the exercise provided me with added energy, muscle mass and further weightloss.

The physical-when I first started getting fills sometimes I would pb or get stuck. The Short Range Action-It wasn't because I needed an un-fill it was because I needed to learn how to chew better and stop eating sooner. I could have given in and regained my comfortable fill spot...but I pushed ahead and in the short term learned how to chew better, ate less food and slowed down so I could hear my body talk to me.

The physical-My weight loss would stall. I would get a little more room in my stoma opening and I could eat a little more food. I would get hungry more frequently. Short range action-Go get a fill and take my new set of lessons (chew better, eat less or eat slower).

The physical-Certain foods I could sneak past my band and get that old feeling of fullness with. Short Range Action-I had to change my habit of eating that ice cream first so I could sneak it past my band. I had to limit ice cream to a few times a week and in very limited quantities. I had to find something else to fill that hole (coffee? exercise? I had to think healthy and try new healthy things. I had to not eat the ice cream alone ( I still work on this one sometimes).

I have been working a similar technique with our budget and my work/home balance this year too. I am sure lots of people have worked this out before me and might wonder why it took me so long to figure it out...If I only recognized it 30 years ago. :)Maybe it is an age thing?

BYOC

1. If you could live anywhere in the world - where would it be and why?

If i could live anywhere I would have houses in several places or just travel all of the time. I love love love traveling. I love Portland, Oregon so would keep a place here. One in Wales where my mother-in-law lives, One in the country in eastern Washington State or Oregon. A chalet in Germany...Oh so many places so little money :)

2. How old were you when you got drunk for the 1st time?

I was 19 (legal drinking age was that in Idaho when I was that age). I like the drink but do not like to get drunk so two has always been and still is my limit.


3. What was your favorite toy growing up?

I had three-my bike (I could ride down our street with my arms stretched wide and feel the air in my face, controlling the bike with my lower body.

-Teddy-a small teddy bear i was given when I was 1. I still have it.

-barbies-My sister and neighbor boy and I all played with ours. I liked the home decorating as did our neighbor. My sister was most into the dressing and hair on the dolls. Today my sister is a hair dresser as is our neighbor. I like to fix my house but don't do it for a job :)

4. What's your favorite season and why?

SUMMER when it is sunny, no school, garden is growing and we can live outside.

5. Repeat question....which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week?

Bunny's. The concept of starting again no matter what has happened. Whether successful or failed with the band we can always work in ways to move forward.

Lunch

In an uncharacteristic fit of organization i pulled dinner fixing out of the freezer this morning and had dinner cooking before I took Grace to school. The recipe:

1/2 pound of chuck stew meat
2 carrots-chopped
4 celery spears-chopped
1 small onion-chopped
5 garlic cloves peeled and whole
3 medium white potatoes chopped

Throw the meat in frozen, roughly chop the rest except the garlic. Throw it into a Le creuset roasting pot with lid on and bake in the oven at 250 degrees f. At noon (4.5 hours later) I added salt and freshly ground pepper as well as 1 tablespoon of paprika. I just had my half a coffee mug full for lunch. I will now let it cool a bit and put it in the fridge to reheat for dinner. It was tasty. :)



It is super moist and Tender

Weird NSV

I have had a yard maintenance guys for the last two or three years. There are two main employees. One who does all of the work and then what I like to term the 'front man.' He speaks English whereas the regular yard guy does not. Every two weeks the yard guy smiles at me and we wave. The 'front man' comes over when I need extra work done and want a quote ahead of time and he delivers the bill. I have seen the 'front man' four times in total. Once when I got the initial work quote two or three years ago. Once when I paid him for the work, once when i wanted a quote to have bark dust laid and then finally today. The bark dust job was done last summer. I am not his only customer. Well...today while he was here giving me a quote to pull out some big bushes he said to me...you have lost weight?

I was nice and said yes a little bit. He then asked me if I worked out. I said yes I ride my bike (good Lord no need to tell the garden guy I had lapband surgery)...anyway...this has totally weird-ed me out. The garden guy noticed??? My brain has all day been twisting in my head...Just how did he remember me? Did he call me my fat customer? EEk :)

I guess it is not always better to get a weight loss compliment :)

Things I Didn't Do When I Weighed 185 Last Time

I hit 185 today. The last time I weighed 185 was just before I got pregnant with my oldest daughter Nichole. I, of course felt fat the first time I weighed 185. I had just put on 15 pounds of romance fat while dating my first husband. I did not wear a swimsuit in public. I did not wear cap sleeves. I did not let my boyfriend (at the time) touch my embarrassingly poochy stomach (if only it were poochy now instead of floppy). I did not ride my bike. I did not cook.

I feel positively thin now...If only I knew it then and lived in the moment where I was...woulda, coulda, shoulda.