Friday, February 19, 2010

No Fill

I went in for my fill..I came out with a failed fill and restriction again? I know you are saying what???? Yeah me too!!! I do not know if it the whole girly period thing or if she beat my port so much that it shot another bit of saline into my band but holey moley..i have returned to the land of restriction.

Breakfast-1 oz of cheese
Lunch-nope nada because i was going in for a fill and I didn't want any food above the band of restriction.
Snack after the fill-naughty naughty-4 big ball cheetos and a bite of Graces bagel and strawberry cream cheese.
Dinner-attempted to eat 2 oz of leftover roast beef. 2 animal crackers sitting on the counter from Graces afternoon snack. then the excitement began. Some of you may remember past incidences of my turning away from the roast beef..well actually all beef. It was just not a happy partner in my band and nutrition goals :)...ok ok..i always get stuck and barf the stuff. Well I had been having a bit of respite from this problem. I have cooked roast beef about every other week for my family. I cook it to death (5 hours at 250 degrees) when it is done it literally falls apart in the pan. Wednesday night I had no problems with the roast. Last night with leftovers (and perhaps it was the fact that it was cold leftovers) o got stuck. Pain at my chest level and repeated dashes to the garbage disposal. In the end after 5 barfs and about 30 minutes of excruciating pain I am again (mentally and I think physically) a restricted and changed woman.

You see-I had begun to test the waters again. I imagine this will happen for the rest of my life as those fat demons don't just go away when you have a little success..they stay floating around your head saying..oh come on Tina your not all that restricted..have another bite...oh come on you deserve it..just another cookie...and so on.

So frankly, I am a tad scared to eat this morning at all. I am sipping my Diet Coke. and waiting as long as possible before i try my 1oz slice of cheese. I am headed into work to pick up some papers before I leave for San Diego on Sunday but will drop back on by this evening with an update.

I am planning on a very good girl day!


Lonicera said...

Me too... thought I'd give John a treat and cook a Thai red curry, and it smelt wonderful, and the sauce tasted wonderful.... but the rest did a U-turn, and I ended up not eating anything. That's on a quarter of a ml fill last Wednesday. So here's hoping!

Girl Bandit said... fill and restriction. Does your dr wave a magic wand??? Hope you can still eat. Take care