My Good Nothing Has Gone Bad

Life with the new Wii software has taken a nasty turn. Grace has spent several hours outside running in the snow and playing with the kids who always turn out for sledding on the hill right behind our house. This is a good thing. She is getting fresh air and exercise but after the outside play she (as well as others including myself) have spent the afternoon playing and ultimately getting frustrated with the Wii. I have just told her that if I hear one more complaint about the little guy falling off a cliff (apparently she is doing everything right!) I am going to kick her off the Wii for good. What happened to passive cartoon laden TV?

:)

I have spent another day with all good intentions to start back to my job and get something accomplished but alas have spent time babysitting my grandson, napping, playing the @#$#$# Wii and mooching around on the computer getting nothing useful accomplished. My nothing is becoming the negative kind I am afraid. I wish someone would share some work motivation with me...Anyone???

The Joys of Nothing

Nothing...it can be very bad when associated with money, food or water but today it was sheer pleasure. I had a little sleep in and then woke up and read some of the book I received for Christmas (Sue Grafton's U is for undertow).

I crawled out of bed around 10am when my oldest daughter came in with my grandson for a visit. We lounged around until noon while Grace and Grant played with a remote controlled spider (Christmas loot), stickle bricks and climbed on furniture. At lunchtime we went for a trip to the grocery store together.

I mentally planned a weeks worth of meals and commenced the grocery stocking. Fish and chips, steak, spaghetti, chicken stir fry, home-made pizzas, split pea soup, and chili. I have no order in mind but have the goods to complete each of these. I had the stir-fry fixins at home but with all the rest I got out of the store for $61.50. wooohoo gotta love a bargain day.

On our way home we stopped off at Starbucks for coffees and a nearby park for Grace to play while Grant napped in the car and Nichole (oldest daughter) and I drank our coffees and talked about our eternal life challenges :).

After a brief stop at the bank for Nichole to finish an errand we were back home for some late lunch and a chill. Nichole left to head home ahead of the traffic and Grace watched an old Shirley temple movie while i dozed under a snuggie with my feet tucked under her for warmth....another ahhhhhhh worthy afternoon.

I did get on the scale today and I gained 2 pounds over the last couple of weeks. I am still quite poofy from the travel, hard eating and drinking so I am not too concerned. I am ready to get this show on the road however and shake the remaining pounds to the 100 pounds loss mark quickly followed by the onederland goal. Today was a beautiful eating day as I wasn't hungry. I had a small cracker this morning two bits of laughing cow cheese with 4 crackers this afternoon and my starbucks coffee. We have left things late this evening and so I am about to shift myself into the kitchen to scrounge up some dinner (not sure which it will be) but i better hop to it before Grace turns into a beastly monster from food deprivation.

I hope you all are also getting some tranquility before the new year begins!

Home ...Ahhhh

After a rushed run up to Christmas and an indulgent (lots of food and drink) and exhaustive trip to my parents we drove home today. In the end I had enough pajamas for the little kids and girls in the family. I ran out of fabric for the guys. From comments made I do not think they would have been too thrilled with them anyway so it was for the best. Once at my parents I made pumpkin pies and finished up measuring waists for elastic to finish off the bottoms.

We arrived on Wednesday on the late side as we stopped off at my cousins along the way for dinner. We had a good visit with my aunt and my cousin's family. We then finished the 5 hour drive to my parents. On Christmas Eve we did a bit of shopping to Walmart, the local farm supply store (I do love a good farm store!) and finished up buying stocking stuffers and last minute presents. We also stocked up on groceries for the next few days. The rest of my family left for Christmas Eve services while David and I took a much needed nap and chill out of a bit of peace and quiet before the hub bub began again for the evening and Christmas day (we are not church-goers and I will leave it at that).

Christmas day was good. Santa was good to Grace with a full library of horse related books (a great gently used find on Craigs list), half chaps, a western snap shirt and a horse-head book end. Her granny found her a non-apple mp3 player and big-ear headphones (saving her from a deaf adult life). Her other grandma provided a Wii game and her aunts and uncles gave her a game for her DS.

Granny, Grace and I went together and got my husband a Wii fit (he is, as I type, doing step aerobics on the thing). He has been gagging for the thing for over a year and even tried to wangle one by saying we should get it for Grace. He was kind of surprised when he opened it and found he got it. He also got a load of cooking gadgets and the Julia Childs cookbooks.

David and Grace bought me a bamboo gadget for my computer. It is an attachment that will let me write on the computer screen with a pen stylus. I will be able to draw or work math problems right onto the computer instead of typing or trying to do so with a mouse. I haven't tried it out yet but I am kind of excited to give it a try. I also got a lovely tapestry from Wales from my Mother in law (granny). A lovely coffee table book with short biographies of different mathematicians and moccasin patterns from a Cherokee artist that I was wanting to try out from my three older daughters. My mother gave me a cool lamp to hook onto my sewing machine to make it easier to thread the needle and see my work. This will come in handy for the quilt i have promised to make this year.

All of my daughters, spouses and my grandson were at my parents. My sister and brother in law were there with their two children. My brother, his wife and their three children came for Christmas day. In total this was 19 people.

I had pretty good restriction although not as good as at Thanksgiving. Grazing was still a huge issue and I am frankly a tad scared to get on the scale. I am under no illusions that I will have finally gotten to the 100 pound mark this week that is for sure. I will be lucky to save myself from a three pound gain. I am fine with it though. The visit was at times pretty stressful and each holiday and eating struggle teaches me a little more about my eating issues, causes and triggers. Every blip has changed from a swan dive back into bad habits to a controllable learning experience that I will conquer. That was never the case before the band!

We stayed through Sunday and drove home this afternoon and evening. We hit a bit of snow and Ice along the way but David's truck did well getting us back to our much appreciated coastal weather! I am sitting in front of my warm and toasty gas stove on my comfy couch watching David's backside move up and down on his wii board. I am not sure how long this will be amusing!! but just now it is pure relaxation and contentment.

Freaky Deaky

My restriction has slipped and I am craving food. I actually, on my drive from work today, had an out of body hamburger eating fantasy. It was the weirdest thing on the freaking planet. I started salivating and actually CHEWING!!! I could taste the hamburger. Do ya think im a recovering addict? I have not had a hamburger in ages. I know I cannot eat them..so what the Heck? What is odd is that I felt no compulsion to swing into McDonalds. It happened after I was past the place and headed towards the highway. It was almost like my brain taking the piss!

My written down plan yesterday has perhaps helped. I have the presents purchased except for bits and bobs for stockings. I have the kids pajama bottoms made but not the adults (6 down 5 or 6 to go as it depends on how long the fabric holds out). Baking started with just pumpkin pies left. David kicked in and made a few different cookies tonight bless him. Tomorrow we leave for my parents house and I will take the inhgredients for the pies with me and at least the remaining pajamas cut. I skipped the document but attended the work meeting today...so progress but not completion as of yet.

I have not had much chance to sew in the last few years and It has been fun to get back and do a bit. I will commit to working on a quilt or two in the new year (funny..my first New Year's resolution that does not involve dieting!!!)

If I do not manage to post a Merry Christmas to you all later this week Here it is!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! I Will raise a toast to you and think of you all as I eat my tiny tiny dinner serving at Christmas.

When Will I Learn

As I always do I have planned way too much into much to short a time. In addition to the work stuff I have have baking to do, a bunch of pajamas I decided to add to the list, presents to wrap, presents still to buy, a meeting at work tomorrow, no cards out......arghghghg I think I will need to cut out sleep.

My oldest daughter has started scheduling her day writing out what needs to be done. She knows when my grandson sleeps and schedules blocks of time and exactly what she will do during those blocks of time. I think I need to take the time to plan..what is that they say? fail to plan, plan to fail?

Today: Cards out the door, pajamas started, prepare report for meeting tomorrow. Tuesday: Meeting, Pajamas, last present purchases, wrapping.
Wednesday: Traveling to Grandmas and some baking
Thursday: More baking.

hopefully I can do it.

Exercise-o-rama

My band tightness has eased off a little but I am definitely on the edge of it. I am going to stick it out and forgo any of the foods that are risky (pasta, ground meats, Prunes :)). Operation exercise is still underway. On Tuesday and Wednesday I rode my bike. Wednesday was a shorter ride but up two nasty hills. I did have to walk one. my backside and legs were really sore Wednesday night. They were so bad that I woke up several times in the middle of the nice with pain spasms. I decided that on Thursday I would walk instead. I got an invitation from a couple of friends who walk everyday and tagged along. They go 3 miles...should be no problem. Directly after this I went shopping all day. Well today I can barely walk!! I think it is a combination of the three days catching up with me. I have taken an Aleve and am hoping that it will help.

Today is Grace's school play and celebration dinner. She got the lead as Anansi the spider. The feast, plays and songs are arranged around and international theme. I think this year is Africa but I'm not entirely sure because I have been told we are eating pasta?...well I'm not eating it as this is off my eating menu for a while. After the play we are having some family friends over for dinner and gift exchange. The house is not very clean and I have lots to do (including chase down one last gift).

The scale was my friend this morning and finally dropped down by another pound! Now 4 pounds to go until 100 pounds lost. I might just have to bring my scale to my parents house for Christmas. I don't want to miss it when I finally get there.

Band Barometer?

Our weather just shifted rapidly from cold to warm and rainy. My already tight band tightened up even more. I was really hungry this morning and somewhat on the loose side of this fill. Tonight for dinner...yeowzaaa I am super tight. Difficulty drinking water tight. This is a first. I said to my husband as I leaned over the sink hoping that the cheese I had just eaten would choose to go down instead of up (it finally went down). He said the barametric pressure has increased dramatically throughout the day...wellll so I don't feel the damp in my bones like my mother does but my band has turned me into a weather station haha

Wohooooooooooooooo

Ok i got out and rode my bike.

I took it in the rain about 1.5 miles each way to my local grocery store with a Starbucks stand by the front door. I layered up with my diaper pants, my nicely fitting workout pants, A tank top and a long sleeved t-shirt, a great big rain jacket, gloves, socks and tennis shoes and my helmet. I got out side and almost gave up when I found that I needed to pump up my tires and my back tire was being difficult (it always is for some reason). Finally after mucking about for 20 minutes I got on my bike and took off. I rode the back way so as to avoid the busy roads. I got wet but not uncomfortably so. Once I got to the grocery store I parked my bike to the side (I don't have a lock) and risked theft to run in after my coffee. Then I brought my coffee out to my bike. They have picnic tables in front of the store so I sat in the rain with my coffee. My glasses got wet and people looked at me like I was one of those really crazy bike people but it was still fun.

I hope I remember the fun tomorrow when it is time to go again.

Like a Spring

The scale launched back up to 211 today. Damned thing. How am I ever going to get that 100 pound thing if it refuses to cooperate like that :)

So in examining my behaviors (don't we all do this over and over again). I again need to confess that my liquid intake is appalling, my vitamins are not being taken and my protein levels just plain suck. I have not been on my bicycle since i went to San Francisco (the weather has been horrible and I have been LAZY!

Today-I will drink and I will get on the bike no matter how much rain is pouring down and ride the stinking thing. It has fenders so I do not have to fear a dirt bacon strip up my back.

Now having said that it is 9am, the family room is still dark because of the overcast weather. I have my gas fireplace on and the Christmas tree is lit. sigh..the picture of coziness and I really desire a nap.

so shall i shift or stay in my cozy cocoon of warmth and dim light. I will keep you updated.

Five Pounds Left

After 12 days of only up and down movement on the scale it finally shifted today. I am down to 209. I hope this is a decent run as I am only 5 pounds from my 100 pound loss.

It is laundry day and I dug to the bottom of my slacks drawer to find something to wear while the rest went into the washing machine. I pulled out a pair of slacks I bought to take to Germany with me back in October. They are 18W and they are way too big. I think it is time to cull my wardrobe again :) Christmas time is not really a good time of year to spend money on myself but I smell a good shopping spree in my future...woohooo.

Verizon is Evil!!!!

We have fiber optics to our house and have had (until last night) Verizon cable television and telephone service. David (hubby) has a separate commercial business account for our internet so he can run his server and other sorts of high powered networking stuff. The internet costs us 99.00 per month. The TV and telephone were bundled together and cost (or at least that is what I thought) about the same amount. This was fine although we had gotten into the bad habit of watching TV too much. As we do when money gets a little tight around here we took an examine of our bank statement (yes were are poor money managers and do not pay close enough attention on a regular basis). Well the television and phone account tripled this fall for no apparent reason. When I called to find out what was going on I was told that all bundled accounts expire every year and it is up to the customer to pay attention and renegotiate their contract so that they can rebundle the service. I had according to the Verizon people been switched, without consulting me, into an ala carte plan. As my
Aussie friends say...FARK that!!! You know darn good and well that the system is set up for the many people like me who are too busy making the money to pay attention and remember every year to renegotiate!!!

I canceled my service immediately and told them they were dishonest and I would no longer do business with them. We cut the phone back to minimum service (there is no other land line game in town but also not regulated-thank you Ronald Reagan). When David got home from work I told him what I had done and he was also appalled by their business practices. He said the commercial internet had not changed since we got it (perhaps they take better care of their business customers than they do their residential??). David also had some ideas as to how we could cut out our land line. I suggested going cell only but instead he has found Vonage and we are dumping Verizon for their internet based system. We are not sure if we will be able to access a new internet provider (the only other company is comcast who is equally evil and will not do static IP addresses).

I hate companies (and we have run across a few lately). Who take advantage of people with hidden fees and expiration dates. We recently paid off a couple of no interest (yeah right!!!) loans that we took out as we were working on the house.
One was for carpeting the company said no interest but did not say you had to pay 39 dollars a month to keep the 0% rate and that it would go to 39% interest if you did not. They also did not say that you would never be able to get anyone on a phone. The other was also a 0% interest loan that supposedly was no pay and went to 25% interest if it was not paid off in a year. What these people did not tell you was that you would also be charged a pay off fee of 50.00 per month. Well guess what that amount worked out to?? about the same as the 25% interest!! Jerks. So we paid both of these loans off and are wiser consumers.

I never was much of a loan user until this money pit of home fix it began. I now realize that I was better off avoiding it. David and I after these eye opening experiences have learned that if we want a loan there is no free ride. If we get a loan it will be through our credit union and nowhere else.

Hope you all have a debt free Christmas :) and watch your bank statements. Apparently there are no honest non-loophole businesses out there anymore.

I Hate Cold Weather!!!

We are still under a freezing front. The temperatures have been moving up and down from the single digits to low 20's all week. Our cars are suffering. I woke up today on a mad and disorganized dash to travel back over the pass to Eastern Oregon and found that my tires were flat. Apparently cold weather causes them to deflate. I did not know that!!

Yesterday our truck (used by Cinda to go back and forth between university and home) started with plumes of white smoke and spewed liquid all over the ground. We think it is a radiator problem that was also caused by the cold.

I am thinner and have lost my one cozy parka of fat. I have been cold inside and outside. Right now my toes are freeeezzzing. Although I like the thinness the cold annoys me. I want to wear shorts and sandals all year long :) Does anyone have a spare room they can lend in a nice warm weather location????

I Now Eat Less Than My 20 Month Old Grandson

Update:
Well the great prune removal did the trick and by dinner I was feeling OK. David (hubby) and I in a rare moment of collaboration cooked dinner together. He was the fry guy and I prepared beer batter and the fish. After he finished the fries I dropped in my fish. It was yummy and I managed to eat 1 3 inch by 1 inch by 1 inch strip of fish and 3 french fries. The best part is there was very little pain involved in eating it...phew..I have to say over the last couple of days I was beginnig to worry that I had done some damage.

Now don't think that I am a regular fry-up kind of girl. This was only the second time in my life I have attempted deep far frying. I do love fish and chips though (ever since my band this love has increased dramatically). I decided that since we were not eating out anymore that I might as well make them in. They did turn out well if I do say so myself.

Original Post

I have my grandson over today for a visit. My oldest daughter is taking her finals for school. For lunch I made a grilled cheese sandwich and split it. I put a prune on the side for me and about 6 corn chips. My grandson had the same only he also had a few segments of satsuma orange. Before starting I cut both of our half sandwiches into quarters. So I ate 1/4 of my sandwich and then ate about 3 corn chips and my prune. that was it. Done.....My grandson then proceeded to eat the rest of my corn chips, his corn chips, his half a sandwich and orange. He did not like the prune so I threw it away after he spent some time sliming it all over his plate.

I don't know if i would have been able to eat the remaining 1/4 sandwich if I had taken a pass on the cornchips but geeezzz this tight band of mine is really cutting into my eating portions again. I am sitting here after my measly lunch and feeling like I am going to need to PB. I have once already relieving myself of a little spit. Ok...just did it again. Hmm I am wondering if corn chips are not going to stay on my eating list! I have been super tight for the past few days and it is beginning to worry me. Now I have not made the best choices of food in the world given my tight state but I am going to report them regardless:

Sunday: Breakfast: no breakfast, lunch: 1/2 grilled cheese, snack-1 1/2 cup protein shake,1 cupcake. Dinner-1 cup chicken tortilla soup, 1/4 grilled cheese (part of my daughters meal ordered out). 1 small slice of french bread 2 Tbls. egg salad.

felt like nothing-seems like quite a lot looking at it all together.

Monday: Breakfast: 1/4 c egg salad. Lunch: nothing, Snack: skim mint mocha from Starbucks Dinner: 3.5 chicken nuggets. Evening snack: 100 calorie yogurt thingy.

Tuesday: Breakfast: nothing, Lunch: 1/4 grilled cheese sandwich, 1 prune, 3 cornchips. I have home made fish and chips on the menu for dinner but I am not sure I am going to be able to eat any fish as my tummy hurts right now big time.

.......................A brief station break............
ahh so yes in real time typing I got to the root of the problem-stuck prune. finally a forceful and not to pleasant vomit and the offending prune revealed itself. In my quest to eat I have again slipped into shoveling food in without chewing enough. arghghghghghghg

The worst of it all is (visualize a whiny voice here) that since I feel like I have not eaten much of anything (or as my friends says: I do not eat anymore). I should still be losing weight. Nope..I am up 1 pound! @#$%@$%@#$# scale.

Catching Up

I came home from my business trip and immediately went back to work on grouting the bathroom we have been remodeling. Last year at this time I would not have been able to do observations all day, drive 4 hours home and then go right back to work doing home-fix it. I would have come home. Crashed on the couch and probably taken a nap! This time I had energy to spare. I do not think there is a better feeling on this earth than that!

I said that I would report on the muscle milk I bought during my trip...Sorry I do not know what flavor my fellow bandsters are drinking but the vanilla flavor I was able to buy at Walmart was the most vile tasting stuff on the planet! It tasted like mold. I checked the date thinking it had gone bad but no it was a year in range. I tried to pass it off to one of my daughters thinking that my taste buds were just too sensitive but she agreed with me that the drink was not good.

This is a problem as the Jamba juice that was once located right near my office at the university went out of business. My office-mate and I decided to cut out for a little protein drink and walk the other day and it was just gone..no sign in the window no warning ahead. Very strange and difficult as I had begun to rely on the Jamba juice to get me through my work days without reverting back to my old McDonalds habit.


We spent most of the weekend working on the little bathroom and attempting a clean out in the garage (not much success as we missed the dump hours). I am hoping to get the plumber in tomorrow to install a small pedestal sink and toilet. As I have finally figured out how to install my own pictures from the camera I will for sure be sharing pictures when it is done. While I am at it I will throw in some more ones of the house as it is looking very good if I do say so myself.

Finally I am adding a poll. Our house in for sale right now and we are in a quandary. Do we decorate the house for Christmas or not? We live in a mixed area with several populations that do not celebrate Christmas. If we decide to decorate how much? How little? It would be easier not too but quite boring I think.

Just when I Was Getting Cocky!

Ok just to knock me down a peg or two. I bought clothes without trying them on.

I am away on a two day business trip to the other side of Oregon again. On my way over I stopped off at a Walmart store for a little shopping. While there picking up the food to eat while I am over here (no thoughts of it as I left the house today) I took a circle through the regular sized department (i refused to look at the large size department). Walmart had a ton of cute t-shirts and a pair of shorts made by Danskin. Well being the cocky 'skinny' girl that I am I picked up two sized extra large tshirts and a pair of sized extra large shorts without trying them on. Welll...I know..stupid duhhhh.

The shorts fit fine around me but they are soooo short that my poor saggy legs sticking out the bottom looked like those of an elephant...pay special attention to the really wrinkly bit up by where the elephant leg meets up with his body..you know that upper thigh area...


yep..the elephant leg looks less wrinkly and saggy.



One layered look shirt was so tight that my arms had rolls and it dug into my side fat. The second shirt was thinner and with medium length short sleeves. It fits on the tight side but is not a total write off like the shorts and other shirt are.

Back to the the other purposes for my stop-

I get wicked neck aches when I drive for long periods back to back. Yesterday my 30 minute commute to Grace's school plus some shopping turned my driving and shopping combination to 2 hours. On Monday I drove my 1.5 hour each way commute to my university and then today it was 3.5 hours to my hotel and tomorrow will be driving around the region from school to school. Needless to say I needed drugs to combat the neck pain. I have found that Alieve helps with this problem. My band poses a problem, however. I am now tight enough that I worry about pills getting stuck in my pouch. Last week when I had this neck pain problem I chewed the pills I took from my dad in my mouth but the taste is not very good and the medicine got caught in my teeth. So I stopped and got some of my own tonight and a pill crusher to save my poor teeth the aftertaste. I talked to the pharmacist about the problem and asked her if the gel caps would help me. She said that I was probably much better using a crushed pill than gelcaps because the coating would take a while to dissolve.

While at Walmart I also got a few protein bars. Every so often I try out some new brands because I have gotten tired of my twisted protein bars. I like them but they get boring after a while. I picked up a couple of other brands and will let you know if they are any good. I also bought a 4-pack of muscle milk. I think one of you said you among the blogs I read or who follow me said they liked them. I am giving them a try and will keep you posted if I can choke them down.


Finally I bought some of my baby belle cheeses a small baguette a box of prunes (a girl has to get fiber sometimes), some Diet Coke, OK and you got me..a box of red vines out of naughtiness. I have not opened the box yet. My dinner consisted of two cheeses and a small ripped off piece of bread. I am still full and I ate them at 8pm. I chased the cheese and bread with a prune about 30 min. ago. I think that will be it for me tonight.

Another pound...I Love This Band!!!

I am down at the top edge of 211 today (211.8) but as you may or may not recall I round down for each pound I lose. I wait until the scale ticks below the next marker. The consequence of this is that I might have a wait a while to count the next pound gone but on the good side this method minimizes some of the up and down angst I have always had with the scale.

I have said this before but will share it again as I really feel it has contributed to my sanity this time around. I weigh every day right after I wake up and just after I do my morning bladder empty (if i can empty more I do but that is not so common first thing). I then walk back in my birthday suit to the scale and get on. If I am down I count it if I am the same or up I ignore it (ok I try to ignore it). When I am down I get my morning caffeine (either tea or diet coke) and sit down at my computer and update my ticker. It is a new post-band brain groove I have gotten into and I like it. The band of course makes the down days much more frequent than they have ever been in the past. I have had almost 2 months with no movement even post band though so there has to be something more to this numbers game than just the band. Whatever the cause I am happy to have finally after more than 30 years of dieting figured out a system that is working and can't wait to see what the next months bring. Success is just at the end of my fingertips and I am reaching for all I am worth at this point.