Sunday, October 30, 2011

Holding Pattern

After a bit of a sitting on the edge of our seat day on Friday my uncle has continued to take us on a bit of a roller coaster ride. The surgeons were talking intervention on Friday as his temperature was going up and no one could figure out why. Everyone was too afraid to intervene and put off doing anything once again but then miraculously his fever came down and he seemed to have make an improvement. fever is back. Who knows why? they don't but there will be yet another meeting on Tuesday to talk over with the whole team (he has quite the team working on his various body parts) how to proceed. My guess is that we will leave with yet another consensus that more time needs to be given for his cyst to mature (I know I am being waffly know one of those situations where you don't want to say too much in a public forum but enough to let you know what is going on here).

My food is messed up..I had one meal today and two coffees plus some candy and a couple of cookies. Not good..nothing to be proud of. and likely to cause a weight loss tomorrow (wrong feedback for not doing what I know is good for me). I ate better on Saturday but still not what I should be doing and I know it. I was really not in a good frame of mind today. I did not haul myself out of bed until almost noon and then it messed the rest of the day up. The dark and rainy weather is not helping my attitude or mood for sure. The scale was a touch down but not yet on the low of 161.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Grace is excited and is either dressing up in her pioneer costume or as a peacock. She went to a harvest party today in the pioneer outfit. She is prepared for either costume as Cinda gave her the peacock gear and with black stretch pants and a turquoise fleece I found tonight and the pioneer outfit is from her Oregon trail reenactment from last spring.

bleck...just feeling blecky ..not up not down...just can't be bothered to feel anything. Not sure what is going on but obviously worth working on. It if funny isn't it that although I love being thinner now...I like the ease in which I can find and wear clothes but getting this control over the body part of my life has really not solved all of my moods. I intellectually knew that the one thing was not the root of all problems...but somehow down deep I think I deluded myself into thinking it would.


1 comment:

Amanda said...

I think you have every reason to be in a BLECK mood. You have a lot of things going on. All this stuff with your uncle has been emotionally and physically draining. So let yourself be drained a bit.

Don't feel so bad about the food either. The difference is now you know that it was bad choices you will make better ones. Where as with me 2 years ago I didn't even care they were bad choices! :)