Yesterday I was tight during the day. So tight I could not keep an attempted early lunch or later reattempted lunch down. My morning scale read around 242 By dinner my stomach seemed to open up and at a Red Robin dinner I had a cup of taco soup (out of fear), a bite of my husbands steak slider, 1/4 cup of coleslaw and 4 frenchfries and then a small package of red vines on the drive home (I could feel the food slip right through my band right after I ate it).
This morning I woke up, weighed in at 240 exactly and was open as wide as wide could be. I was soooooo hungry today-all day. I ate like a crazy person desperately trying to maintain some sense of control. I had my morning Diet Coke, by 10 my stomach was rumbling. I had a slice of cheese, at 11:30 I had 1/2 a toasted cheese sandwich then at 1 some chips with more said cheese. I searched for snacks all afternoon succumbing to three rich tea biscuits, two rice krispie treats, more cheese. By 5:30 I was starving again and had a piece of pizza and then a protein bar. Finally this evening I am eating a bowl of shredded wheat. arghghgghghg and my stomach is screaming in hunger. It is driving me crazy. I can feel each bit pass through the band minutes after I eat it.
It is funny because yesterday as I puked my two lunches up I moaned to myself that life wasn't fair and I might need an unfill or perhaps eat liquids only during the day and the voila today I am scared to death that my band has popped or something because the food is going through so easily.
By 1pm when i was hungry again (1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich always lasts me until 5pm when I have a good fill). I called the surgeons office for a fill appointment. They could not make one because i have to talk to someone special and that person was obviously out because I got no call back.
Tomorrow i am at the university for a work day and because i don't have time to eat when I am there I will hopefully undo the damage I have probably done today. I will probably regain the 2-3 pounds and tighten up again. I think I am going to have to white knuckle it for the next week or two and try and get a little distance below 240 so I can take a fill and hopefully progress down into the 230's :) such a lovely number that! :)
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
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