Thursday, June 11, 2009

Finally Pictures and an Epiphany

Ok-Posting these pictures freaks me out. I have never been a big picture girl and these are horrible looking (both before and after). I can see the weight loss on the front view and side view but I swear my backside looks bigger on the second picture but I think it is a cropping problem because my butt is disappearing! I swear all of my jeans have saggy butt!

There is something about actually looking at a picture as horrible as these are to make you wonder what the heck I was thinking (or not as the case may be) when I got this fat in the first place!! I look like hell and still look like hell and obviously when I looked in the mirror as I walked out the door everyday I avoided paying attention to the hideousness of my body.

Chewing and Stopping-

I have discovered that I can eat bread, muffins, salad, vegetables, and lunch meat. These are all foods that in the recent past I had given up. What I have discovered over the past few days-and this is so underwhelming and I should have figured it out about 6 months ago but apparently I am a super slow learner is that if I chew and I stop at the first indication that something has hit bottom in my stomach Than I can eat with no problems.

If I chew the crap out of the offending items they do not get stuck (duhhh). Now i don't mean token chewing or even really chewing-no I mean chew the food until it is a semi-liquid in your mouth. I have finally learned to take a bit, put the food down and chew chew chew chew chew chew chew until there is absolutely nothing left of the food stuff.

I cannot eat 1 cup of food. I can eat 1/2 to 3/4 a cup of food. I cannot eat 1/2 a sandwich. I can eat 1/2 a sandwich minus a good crust edge. If I listen to my stomach it tells me but it is a very subtle message-more like a whisper than a shout. I can feel my fist bite touch my band. When I feel that food touch my band it is time to stop. My guess is there are a few more bites that have gone in but when my stomach says to me that it feels something-it means I am done. When I do not listen and eat 2 more bites or 3 more bites and I wait to feel the food in the back of my throat---well guess what. I am going to barf up part of my dinner because I did not leave room for spit and the digestion process needed to fit down there while waiting for my food moves through the stoma (about 1/2 and hour).


Bunny said...

Hey Tina... stop putting yourself down RIGHT NOW!!! You look FCUK*ING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would love to have a set of pics like this. Just imagine the next set of pictures next to these Hunny!!!!!!!!!!! Your face has completely metamorphasised and I can see loss in just about everything al over your body! Your forarms, your legs, chin, butt - everything! You dont even have that lower tummy anymore!!!!! SHOUT FOR JOY!!!!! I think the reason the butt pics dont look much different is because you are wearing black, but you just gotta take one look at your knee area in the 1st pic - the 'splayed' knee stance and then the lack of it in the 2nd to see that you have shifted some serious FAT ASS!! I want to jump over the pond and carry you through the streets. FCUK*ING AWESOME BABE!!!!!!!

Lonicera said...

Wow Tina, one can really tell the difference! You should put up a new head picture in your Profile. Your backside doesn't look that big in either set - I reckon that means that when you're at target weight you're going to realise one day that you're a "tiny bum" person!! I'm green with envy.

chicroses said...

Hi, I'll let you in on a little secret. Your writing is great. I cant write anything that is intelligent.I want to write things on my blog that are catchy and witty..haha...When I sit down to do this my mind will be out on the it finley school? I hated english classes.See were all different! Now about the pics..I sure can tell youve lost...but dont fret over your weight. You will spoil your life just thinking about it. When grandma and grandpa died I kept saying to myself at least I had them till I was 38 and I didnt loose them as a child.Another secret..I worry about john and his health so bad it keeps me awake at nite. Ive gained some weight back...But Im not going to let it get me down. I worry less now that Im older..but it is health issues to worry about...Hey jim has lost 15 lbs. No carbs but he is eating just meat watermelon,cantalope,and healthy choice fudge bars at nite.. his own diet..he is like he is on carbs..they are killers...well Ive rambled on enough..aunt sally