Third Christmas With Band-First at Goal

I treated Christmas a little differently this year than I have in years. I just let go. I did not think about dieting, I did not worry about sweets. I ate what I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted it.

Guess what?? I ate more than usual and I ate way more sweets than usual but over the last week I have gained at most one pound. This morning my scale said 165.0. I will let you know what tomorrows scale reads but as long as I dip back down into the 164 range I am all good with this holiday...more than good. It has been great!

1. I wore my first turtle neck shirt and it looked OK...No more big fat face sticking out some neck-less body and for once my boobs were small enough that having a high neck did not emphasize their hugeness.

2. I baked pumpkin pies, candied orange peel, orange rolls with cream cheese frosting, rock cookies, sugar cookies and cranberry bread. Into the house came peppermint bark, mince pies, fruit cake, chocolate cake, orange sticks, almond brittle, British chocolate. David made fresh baked bread and rolls, turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and vegetables. I sampled several tastes everyday between very small meals and enjoyed the crap out of the things I wanted and skipped those that I did not want. I do not feel deprived at all nor do I feel guilty for what I did sample.

3. My energy has been wild good. On December 23 I took Grace to horseback riding and cleaned out 3 horse stalls then went shopping non-stop except for lunch from noon to 7pm. I came home and found out the mail did not bring a gift so I went back out again and did another hour of shopping between 7:30 and 9pm.

This combination of body well being, energy and facing food I enjoy guilt free is the most freeing experience I have ever had and every bit of band related pain/worry/angst is worth this day. The port flip and second surgery-worth it. The original indignities (barium swallow, motility test, psych evaluation and blood tests)-worth it. The fear of failure, giving up high volume eating, giving up burgers and fries, McDonalds, and even bread for a time...worth it. every stuck episode or session of barfing because I overate...worth it.

I love my band and the life it has given me.