I have been making crappy food choices since the day before Easter (what is it about holidays that are so difficult?). 'Too much' is the theme. If I am not eating candy i am eating dessert (un-metered doses of ice cream last night) I am eating a meal too late or eating more than I know I should of said item. I have had night indigestion as a result. Tonight my stomach is rolling around like a boat in a sea of acid and I haven't even gone to bed yet!
My weight has been holding at 1 (note-i hit the 1 first!!)196. Tonight I got on my bike for the first time in over a week because the @#%%$W#$ rain has been pouring with wind gusts strong enough to knock me over. It was a great ride really. Grace and I rode around the neighborhood twice with side loops until we hit 5miles. Now if I can regain some grip on what I am shoving in my mouth things would be great.
I'm kind of nostalgic for the old days and I cannot believe I am about to type what I am going to type-up until this point my weight-loss and eating issues have been solved by little fills. Both the decision to go in to see the doctor and getting tweaks to solve eating have become way more complicated.
My restriction thresh-holds are much smaller thus the clearness of whether I need a fill is much more difficult to decide on. Yesterday I was starving and could eat way more than I should be able to with much less chewage. Today I am tight again and although I can eat a tad more than usual I had a little problem with dinner (just a little blip of failed chewing). Then there is the question i keep asking myself-am I done really? if I am at goal do I need a fill? do those at goal get fills? Do I really need to now learn what it is like to maintain? Finally yet another dilemma rolling around my head is: if I am training for a 50 mile bike race my activity level should be much higher and thus i should keep my band a tad looser to make sure I can get in enough nutrients and calories. On the other hand if it is going to f***ing rain all the time and I am going to wimp out and sit on the couch I think a firm boot up my backside restriction is needed.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.....I think in the words of Scarlett O'Hara "I will worry about all this tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day".
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
3 comments:
Jeez, that does sound confusing. Sounds like your band doesn't know what to do - and I have zero advice - even after reading it again. Hmm. But I do hope things settle for you. Miserable living like that :(
PS Nice going on the bike ride. You rock.
At least the sun is out today!
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