Friday, April 2, 2010

Brain is Stuck in the 200's

I cannot believe how difficult it is for me to write 19x...for my weight. Yesterday I wrote that I weighted 294 and then 296...well it is really 194 and 196 (still 196 this morning). Every time I type my weight that little 2 goes down on the screen. I have to backspace and change it to a 1. Last night I didn't even notice I made the mistake. I weighed over 200 pounds for 26 years. I guess my brain and fingers are having trouble coping with that change.

I haven't had too much trouble with shopping in the women's section. Once or twice I looked over at my old stores or racks in the store and said..wahooo I don't shop there anymore. I have really only shopped seriously in my current size once. On this trip I was with one other friend who also lost a lot of weight (90+ pounds lost) and another born skinny friend who agonizes about her stomach. Last week I did a twirl through macy's looking for trans-Atlantic bound slacks and while in the women's section I had a look at this seasons clothes. They are of course beautiful and things I would really like to buy but I can't because they don't fit anymore. I am guessing I will always want the clothes I don't fit into (either larger or smaller). While there I did a quick glance through the sales rack in the 'normal' size department. blech..there was nothing interesting.

It is weird that when you lose weight you don't feel any different. Sure the airplane seat was more comfortable last month and I can cross my legs and wrap my foot around again but I really don't feel like I take up any different amount of space than I did on this planet 110 pounds ago. Is that poor sense of space the reason it is so easy to regain weight so easily? The reason we have body image issues even after we lose it? I guess I need to talk to my friend about it. She lost her 90 pounds almost 6 years ago. I sense that she feels the same way but have never had that conversation. What about you all? Those of you who are down on the scale quite a bit? Do you feel different?


Linda said...

I noticed you put 2-something the other day in a post. You'll remember soon...
Have a good weekend!

Girl Bandit said...

That would be a great converation to have....I think you have to allow your mind to catch up to your you have any larger clothes from your top size to try on and see the 'space' difference??? It might shock you