Saturday, May 30, 2009

Poor Me

I am still tight. It is funny because while I am drinking and before I actually try to eat anything I feel entirely normal. I feel like hmm maybe I have opened up again and I can still eat what I want when I want. Then I try to sit down to a meal and whammo I am reminded that I have a band. 4 or 5 bites later I am full and my 'snack' oh right this is all I get for this 'meal' is over. I am not liking it at this point. I do not get enough for my head to handle. It feel like less than a 1/2 cup but I think it is more like just that-1/2 cup of food per meal. I should be happy that the band is really working but I somehow feel cheated out of my beautiful, wonderful food at this point.

Additionally the scale bounced down to 250 and then immediately bounced back up to 253 It has pretty much stuck there since. It really ticks me off that I am feeling so deprived and the scale isn't plummeting down like I want. Now on a good note-my waist has decided this week to offload a bunch of fat. My jeans and shirts all of a sudden loosened and I got into a tank top my daughter as I like to call it "handed me up". She lost weight a few years ago and gave me a few of her favorite things to hang onto. This tank top is not particularly exciting but it now fits and its little tag says xl from old navy. Well-that little xl and normal store old navy has the biggest beauty impact in the world. It could have been the ugliest tank top on the planet and I would love it right now because it fits me!! Which brings me back to the problem?? geez I am losing inches, not weight, and I am not happy with the small meals. yeah stupid right?


1 comment:

Lonicera said...

I think I know what you mean. You're not eating much and have been doing very well, so as per pre-band days when you were on a diet, you feel it's only fair that you should be able to relax every now and again and enjoy a food you haven't had for a while. Except the band won't let you - every day is a diet day with the band. Oh well, ultimately that's good news for you - it protects you despite yourself!