New Year..Again

The big picture:

Health:  Better than most of the rest of my life.  size 12, weight in the 170's, feeling mostly good.
Relationships:  Married to best friend, daughters are all doing well and are happy.  One in adolescent angst but coming through OK thus far.
Work: I have plenty of work available to me.  The store is above water, Teaching and tutoring gigs are great and going well.  I do not have the Tenure track job I dreamed of having but I am kind of sure I wouldn't be happy in that slot.  This hooking together of jobs that are almost completely in my control are more my style.  I still suffer from work obsession and need to learn how to relax better.
Leisure:  What is that?  I got a taste of it over Christmas.  I know I need to incorporate physical experiences back into my leisure life.
Money:  Oh hot diggity..we are crap at this.  This along with exercise are the areas of most need.  We do fine over all but planning ahead?  making long term goals and saving up for those goals????  no..not happening.  I know we could do so much more with what we have and we just don't.

The little picture:


Health: Life is good but my place in it has been a bit flat lately.  I think it is due to the fact that I am just bumping along with this whole diet and exercise gig.  I am sort of sick of the coffee and sugar habits I have hooked myself up to.  twice now, in the morning, after coffee and before any food I have had this nauseous feeling come over me along with a little dizzy spell and my left eye goes out of focus.  The feeling lasts for about 10 minutes or so.  I don't know if this is a blood pressure thing? a blood sugar thing? or something else.  I told my nursing school daughter about it yesterday and she flipped out on me.  Suggesting I should get into the doctor ASAP.  Sigh..I guess I will but I guess I feel like the lack of breakfast might have a little something to do with it.

Relationships: One can always improve on the time, the quality and the properties of interactions with loved ones.  I need to send more cards on time for distant family members, spend regular one on one time with my girls and just do fun things that cost nothing with them.

Work:  Stay organized.  Keep books up to date, shelves cleaned and stocked prices on items and in system accurately entered. I also need to get this dang store online.  David and I talked about two-three books we both have sitting in our heads that need writing.  I never start nor does he.  We really should carve out time and get going on these things (is this a long term goal? probably).

Leisure: When?  What day?  Starting Jan 7 I will be working 7 days a week with three jobs.  I do need to figure out how Grace is going to get home from school on Friday's.

Money:  One of my daily expenses is the flipping coffee habit it that unhealthy for me and I could solve tow problems with one change (hmmm  am I strong enough to attend to that elephant in this post?).   Planning? paying off cards and stuff...Fiscal mindedness needs to get our time.


Yesterday and today  Triumphs.

1.  Fast food?  I had a Wendy's hamburger a few weeks ago (well 1/2).  It was not worth it.  It was not good.  I feel like I have finally really put an end to any desire to eat, buy or have a relationship with fast food.  This is huge as I used to call McDonalds my boyfriend.

2.  Active?  Pre-band I was tired.  Moving was an effort.  At the end of the day I would fall down on the couch exhausted.  I still sit down at the end of the day tired but there is still plenty of energy left to get up and run downstairs for food, pop out to get the mail, have a quick clean in the bathroom etc.  I still enjoy sitting on my arse watching a bit of TV but now my butt isn't glued to the chair unable to move..it is there for a brief time of respite before it is off again to go and do something else.

Activity sometimes brought on fear..what if I was asked to do something I could not do.  Hike, climb stairs, walk all day in  the mall.  I am not not afraid of anything now.  I might have to train but if needed I can do what I want, where I want and if I want.

3.  Portion?  What I thought was a reasonable serving size has really changed.  This has also impacted my family.  We do not eat much.  It is OK.  I eat only a small amount at a time and that is OK.  Our biggest problem now is keeping our cooking sizes down so we don't end up throwing food away.  We use tiny ingredient bowls and lunch plates to eat off of (all of us).  It is OK and we are happy this way.  The only fly in our ointment is that others seem to be offended by our choices at times.  It is sometimes difficult to live with.  I have had people actually say in my hearing that we don't eat enough or that not having cereal in the house for breakfast or stocking bread was somehow unhealthy.

4.  Life ?  I am so much braver than I was before.  I now have the confidence to choose how I want to live my life..No more how I should live it, how I was able to live it.  I used to choose clothes based on what was OK..what was not hideous or what I could get on without looking too bad.  Other parts of my life were impacted with this attitude.  big girls cannot stand out too much right?  or be looked at too carefully.  Well now...

I have a style and I follow it.  I know what colors I like, what cuts of clothing and I choose them and not others.  Not because they don't fit or don't look good but because I don't like them and don't want them.  I can smile and nod to perfect strangers.  I can be friendly and smile at people and they respond in kind.  I think this is some to do with my advancing years but also because people treat you differently when you are of normal size than they do when you are not.  One friend calls this conspicuous invisibility..it is the reaction people give to others with a handicap.  I choose how I live my life now.  My size in this world does not.

5. Low Carb? David has been doing a whole lot of nutrition research.  Between his switch to low carb living and my band we have decided that carbs are a touch evil.  He is much more passionate about this than I am but on one thing we have come to agree.  pasta, bread, wheat products and sugar do not help any of us stay healthy.  He takes his low carb living a long way more than I do.  I still sit down to candy, cookies, etc. I battle the sugary coffee.  None of use need daily cereal, none of us need days filled with sandwiches, pasta dishes, or food that is mostly carb and embellished with protein, vegetables and fruit.  Grace, David and I at times crack, we have dessert, we eat a short bread cookie, we eat a good slice of bread at a restaurant but we do not need any of this stuff sitting around the house.  We do not need it on a daily basis and I definitely do not need to get a regular dose of sugar in my coffee.

So..next year.  There is always progress to be made.  more movement less carb.  I think January is the month to kick Starbucks to live with McDonalds...

xxxooo

Merry Christmas Everyone!

We are spending ours having a quiet day at home.  it is my first one ever and it is actually quite nice.  We spend so much of the year running over hill and dale it is pleasant to sit in the living room.

Right now we are next to the fire, cat snoozing by my side and listening to Grace with BBC Radio one (Dan and Phils Radio show) on Graces computer sitting near by.  Grace is enjoying her presents-she is particularly fond of the simplest of gifts-a box of hot tamales, a bottle of mane and tail shampoo and wearing pajamas in the afternoon.  She said "it smells like summer horse shows, rainbows and unicorns..I am going to sniff it all day"

I am doing absolutely nothing today.  I keep thinking I should go knit something but I am debating even skipping that as it is sort of my job now.  I might just waste away the day with TV, computer surfing and magazine reading.  I spend a little while surfing my pinterest boards and did come up with an idea for this blog.  I have a page called word..it is where I pin sayings I am particularly fond of, books I want to read or images I like.  I think these say a lot about my personality.  I am linking it here for you all to go surf.  link a webpage page or pin board that you feel says a lot about you and I will return the favor.

http://pinterest.com/drtina/word/

Happy Christmas one and all:

xxxooo

All is good here-As usual I am doing too much but after four years or more of this I have to come to terms with the fact that it is the way I roll.

The shop is busy and doing a brisk business.  The paperwork drives me nutty but I am being a good girl and trying to stay on top of it.  The webpage needs major work. I am slowly..ok Dragging my feet..on that one.

I had a gift come in the mail from Justine She carried my beloved and sorely missed UK magazines to Florida and then sent them all of the way up here to Oregon!  I am slowly working my way through them.  I even picked up a little quality street chocolates at our local import house and can read my mags and eat my UK chocolate at the same time!! :) I'm in heaven just now.

Weight is holding at 176.  I am cool with that.  My clothes are fitting so much better with just these four pounds.  My dresses..lovely dresses are still too small (I can get them on but there is some mighty nasty belly sticking out of them at this weight).  

The great clean-out continues.  David has taken the next couple of weeks off from work and we (ok mostly he) is using this time to clear out one of our two storage units.  It is funny really  There are some themes to my life that really need addressing in the new year...hmm..I smell resolution in the air.

1.  busy..How do I make the most of my time, enjoy what I do in the moment and remember meetings!!!

2.  Get rid of my crap!!!  We have too much and it does no one good filling up space unused.

3.  Move..I need to do some of it.

That is it for now.  What you thinking about for your resolutions?  How is your life going?  Do you have habits/struggles that seem to rear their ugly head over and over?

My next post will be about how things are different than they were almost 5 years ago.  David and I had a conversation about the contrast just this evening but I need to think on it some more.

I Made a Man Pop His Bungie This Morning.

I really have got to start posting more often.  When I finally get around to coming on to blog these days I have such a backlog that it takes forever to type and I am sure is annoyingly long for those of you who stop by to read.

1.  Title tale:  On my daily walk to Starbucks this morning I was well-timed and crossed the path of two men cycling on their way from the train to our local Intel offices.  I live right between the two spots so we are on the morning commute pathway.  I was walking along humming a little Christmas tune.  Wearing what I would consider to be a fetching new outfit-I found a lovely brown velvety skirt at Ann Taylor yesterday and put it on this morning with a brown long sleeve T, black tights and boots and a 'borrowed' cashmere sweater in a plum color.  One of the bicyclists caught my eye as he rode past and I turned to wait to cross the street when there was a popping noise.  and he skidded sideways and almost fell off his bike.  At first I thought his tire had popped.  as the bike went skidding off to one side and he jumped off his seat and tipped sideways to catch himself.  When I had a chance to walk out into the street to help him I figured out the bungie cord he had used to secure his laptop onto the bike had released and the laptop went flying and he lost his balance.  The guy was totally embarrassed when I talked to him.  The funny thing is that just a little piece of me thought..dang I was looking so fine today he popped his bungie :)

2.  I lost another pound!!!  Finally the tides are S...L....O...w...L...y...turning the other way on the scale.  I have cut way back on coffee quantity (duh I know). I am still pretty much eating one small snack and one small meal a day and started walking further when I can.  There is much more to be done.

3.  Yesterday was David's birthday.  I had a bunch of thinngs to get done during the day  (such as shopping to get Christmas presents in the mail) and then taught a class in the evening.  I wanted to take David out to dinner so I just did.  I booked us a table at 9:30 at night and we went.  David was even a little thrilled that we were doing something so spontaneous and decedent as going out on a work night no less.  We went to Le Pigeon (one of many swanky places in Portland) and had fancy food.  I was a little scared to be eating so late at night at one point I even said..I am going to have to stay up until 5:00 am waiting for this stuff to digest.  In the end it was fine though as I controlled myself and ate strategically.

4.  Eating strategically-what does that mean?

 I have learned a thing or two about it with my band. the most important rule I use is think food textures.  I drink before the meal only.  No liquid during the meal.  This is for two reasons.  If I have a great tight fill I might just layer water on top of food and that would not be pretty.  The other occurs if I don't have a great fill I can use liquid to sneak food through faster.

Soft stuff to bread.  I know that I can eat soft stuff more easily than I can things like bread. If I must have bread save it to the end of the meal.  I have, on many occasions,  failed to resist the before dinner bread.   When I put my meal on top of bread it never ends well.  Either I end up overeating or getting stuck or I don't get to eat any of the food I actually ordered because I am too full with bread.

When I order out I think carefully about what will be relatively safe to order.  If I am super tight I stick to soup.  If I am just normally tight I get something small (many times off the starter menu) and avoid things that have in the past got me into trouble.  Pasta has to be dealt with cautiously, as does beef and potato.  Almost everything else I can have a reasonable amount of on a normal day.  On loose days I go for steak.  I figure I should eat good old fashioned meat when I am loose and do.

5.  tech-Aggedon update:  David came home Friday night and spent 3 hours trying to save the computer.  It is dead.  he worked on the credit card reader and phone with the same success I had (we both tested and it worked upstairs but didn't down).  We finally cracked the case when he went to unplug a power strip from one wall.  We found to our surprise that right in the middle of the store is a Ground Fault int. outlet.  He turned on the power again at the wall and several things came back to life.  The computer, phone and credit card reader were not before the GFI outlet on the circuit but appear to have also beed impacted by the problem.  As as soon as we fixed this plug and outlet the others pieces of equipment at least came to life.  David finally called the credit card swiper and asked them to help us with that problem and found out that there was a login password that we had never been given.  but....everything I need is now working again :)!!

xxxooo

Tech-a-geddon

Last night Grace and I had a conversation about what would go down next. We had this conversation with no real expectations that something ACTUALLY WOULD!!!

Day 1.  power cut, rebooted house stuff.
Day 2. Shop wired internet goes down-taking the printer, the credit card reader with it.  I compensated with my laptop (a wireless connection).  And a portable credit card reader with my cell phone.
Day 3.  Telephone goes down-I move it from plug to plug and changed batteries.  I finally got the line to work on an old school rotary but only upstairs in my kitchen.
Day 4. While continuing to diagnose the telephone issues the breaker flips and all the shop lights go out.  I fix the breaker but in the process lost power to the exterior wall of my shop and all outside lights on my house.  Telephone problem isn't solved either.

David returns home tonight.  My joke with a friend is:  I don't know whether to meet him at the door in lingerie or with a tool-belt.  She voted on both!

On a good note a had a rep bring in some gorgeous yarn today.  I am so in love with it I want to marry it :)  So soft, so sparkly and so rich!

Techno Moan

Whenever David goes on a business trip our technology goes down.  I am sure I have written about this before.  This round seems to have come in with a bang and at the most inopportune time possible.

David flew out early yesterday.  At 12:30 am I was watching TV and crochet-ing Callum's snowman II (picture is attached).  With a quick pop our power cut out then came back on after a few minutes.  It popped off and on again a few minutes later.  The TV came back on but our Netflix box was down and could not log on again.  We had internet soon after the cut but I had no home email server.  My computer worked earlier in the day and the credit card slider seemed to be working OK ( I was closed so I didnt try to use it but it sat there with out complaining).

I went down and restarted the house server and Grace rebooted the TV so by afternoon we had everything back online.  This afternoon round two of the tech apocalypse began. I had several patterns to make copies of for a craft show I am participating in tomorrow. The printer shut down and did not seem fixable. I had a night knitting class and had two try and buy some yarn for their projects.  The computer would not come on. Then I found that the credit card reader could not 'connect to the host'.  My Store has crashed!!  I could probably cope OK with all of this tomorrow but I have a friend manning the store for me while I do the craft fair.  She can work without a computer but the credit card reader..not so much.

I woke David up on the east coast with a text and we figured out that something is up with the internet connection downstairs.  The machine works upstairs.   When I took it back downstair sand plugged it directly into the wall..it worked for a few minutes but then started spazzing out like trying to hook up online over and over and then spitting out tape with error messages.

arghghg..I am too busy for this stuff.  one more day until he comes home.  I hope I keep my sanity.

xxxooo

A-OK

Horse News:

We took Grace to the Ortho. to have her foot checked.  Amazingly she managed to walk on it right when she found out it was time to go (hmm funny how a trip to the doctor causes a miraculous recovery).  Anyway she was examined and we think x-rayed (David did the taking and he volunteered to leave her alone with the doctor-crap I don't even leave him alone with the doctor!!!).  Ok that is a tad of an exaggeration but in a nut-shell we have to take her translation because David didn't get  any direct info.  She says the doctor said:  bruised bone.  must be able to hop back and forth on one foot before she could get back on the horse.

She immediately tried jumping back and forth on her feet and by Friday (24 hours later) she was good to get on.  We found out at noon (because she was dressed and ready to go a full 4.5 hours before it was time) that her helmet broke in the fall.  there is a plastic liner in them that helps the helmet stay tight against the riders head.  The force of her coming off the horse twisted the helmet on her head and sheared off the plastic connectors.  She had to borrow one at the stable Friday and unless the postal service is quick will have to again.  Not a very high quality product it doesn't seem..or..she hit her head harder than anyone let on.  I am just going to choose product poor quality here.

Bandy News:

Holy Mother Moly I mad a very LARGE error in judgement this weekend.  Thursday night david and I popped out to our local (I love that we have a local we can walk to now).  for a drink before bed.  I have a hand-work guild in the evenings that usually ends around 9 or 10. I am usually a bit wired afterwards so sometimes we pop over to the bar for a quick drink.  Well I had my drink (ok two) and it was all good.  On our walk back we walked down the main street and up as bold and brass in one of the windows was a man (a man I have spoken too mind you but not a friend) sitting buck naked eating a bowl of cereal with his cat perched on the table next to him..yes it was that clear and my eyes were burning.  An amusing but freaky sight...but that is not the point here no matter how entertaining.

On Friday night we decided to go to the bar again.  I know (not a good idea).  We have gotten to know a few people at the bar just to chit chat with so we lounged on the bar stools and drank a bit (my two favorites are hot chocolate and rumple minz or orange juice and rumple minz.  I found the other guy in the neighborhood who drinks the bottle they have behind the counter too!!  so..one hot chocolate and..two more with orange juice (one was a tall and double)  I was just a touch inebriated.  We had a great time came home went to bed ..sleep..a bit of a wake up tummy ache in the middle of the night but not horrible.  

The next morning..aaaackckckc I was not feeling so good.  I went back and forth all day whether I had a hangover or..jus twas feeling a little crappy.  This continued.  I had my morning coffee.  a few piecesso cheese for lunch.  I wasn't really  hungry but had one of those perhaps I need some food feelings when ill.  I had an afternoon coffee and directly afterwards..had the biggest stomach ache on the planet.  I walked, I paced.  I even tried to go into the bathroom and well..see if something was stuck.  it wasn't.  This tummy thing coupled with shoulder pain went on for about an hour.  At one point I contemplated going to the ER..I had flashes of OH crap maybe this is what a heart attack feels like.  I had a customer in the middle of it and pretended that I was OK..with difficulty.  Finally we closed and I came upstairs to lay down and then paced some more because laying down didn't help..finally I started to burp..and burp...and burp..and burp...and burp.  I must have build up a nuclear bomb of air in my system.  

I am blaming the OJ and rumple minz from the night before.  Goodness knows if that is the case.  I was fine after the burp-fest and have been fine today.  Very odd experience..oddest ever in fact.  

xxxooo