Stuff and Thursdayness

1.  A few days ago I had an epiphany about the whole setting an example of what 'normal' for my children. I have had my adult children and others comment on the quantity of food I eat.  Yes indeed it isn't very much anymore.  Whether how much I eat is abnormal..well I say that is a bit of rubbish.  So I may or not be considered 'normal' but..obviously my body is not one of the fast burner types of furnaces that all of the chubby among us desire to have.  I am a slow burner and a small quantities of calories goes along way.  It SUCKS yes..but it is.  For me..a couple of small meals a day is 'normal'.  In observing my friends and family for food quantities I have come to the conclusion that there is a very LARGE range of what normal is.  Grace, David and I are at the low end of meal size needs.  I have a family friend who can and does eat quite large amount and is skinny as a rail (like a big plate heaped with food-both high and low cal).  I spent a lifetime envying my skinny friends their appetites.  Some of these skinny friends could indeed eat a lot while others really did not eat that much but had an internal thermostat that kept them satisfied with that. Mine was a low burner and never seemed to tell me when enough was enough to maintain a healthy weight.

 I will no longer worry about what example I set for my children or others as this range and my post surgery meal sizes are good examples that everyone is different.  Everyone needs to eat different amounts of food to sustain themselves.  I am a 'little-amount' kind. I can earn more with exercise.  I might sometimes and I might not others.  For me it is the price to be paid.  My children need to learn and re-learn that everyone is different and the main gold is figure out who you are..how you burn and do the best you can to optimize your life around that.

2.  The local newspaper published an article about the shop.  The traffic has increased a crud-load.  I had customers coming through all week and I am pooped :)  It is good..and there is so much to do.

3.  My weight is the bane of my life.  Up still around 180.  I have done some eating, done some exercising, for two days..no meals because I was too busy (one or two coffees and a snack).  My ankles are swollen and I am tired.  Usually two really busy days results in a weight drop..I will see if that comes back.

4.  Not eating any meals for two days leads me to believe that keeping myself busy is a good thing for weight loss.  Adding exercise and eating quality would improve that (I hope :))  I wasn't hungry so then the question is to myself..if I don't get hungry when I am busy what exactly is that thing I think is hunger when I am not busy???

5.  I have an adolescent in the house..and it is VERY painful.

6.  My adolescent had friends over today..Thus a house-full of adolescents all at age 10-11...surprise surprise..it was even more painful.  My mother-in-law made sure to tell me (this was to make me feel better about my lone painful child).  Wow..all 6 of them were alike..pouting because I told them they had to stay downstairs and then 5 minutes later happy as can be with music on the computer and drawing supplies. :)...How quickly a parent forgets these turbulent years.

7.  This is round 4 for the final time (my fourth and final parenting job to an adolescent-an yes I realize grandma-ing might happen but I like the idea of being one step removed from it next round).  I must remember to savor the good bits and let the bad bits roll off my back.  Be one with the duck....I am waterproof..roll off roll off :)  Yoga anyone?

8.  I love my new neighborhood.  Today on my walk to my morning coffee and back I had no less than 5 people (my neighbors) say hello.  This was one block and a total of 10 minutes.  In that 10 minutes I ended up with a play date for Grace (read number 6 for a recap).  Empathetic discussion about number 5, a congrats on number 2.  and an invitation to a wine tasting.  Life is good.

9.  Crapola..my 1-8 are packed enough aren't they?

10.  The bell tolls 12:30 am and I have a a coffee run scheduled at 9am, a shop to open at 10, a spruce up of the 'lab' and samples to hang for upcoming classes.  a fingerless glove knitting camp to teach at 3pm and a cork craft to host at 6:30.  phew.. I need to get some sleep to prep.

Happy Friday everyone!!

xxxooo

Exercise is the Only Way To Go..I Think :)

Ok..I just finished a very good  try to curtail the coffee and cut out the crap and eat better.  I failed.  I am tight enough.  I am feeling now like I did pre-band in my many failed attempts to get a grip on myself.  This is of course a very minor place in comparison.  I was battling 300 pounds then and had 150 to lose.  Now..I am battling 20 or so but it is no less difficult to maintain myself.  I can get through a day and then..off I go with the screaming voices urging me to fill the void with some sinful treat or another-the main one being the coffee habit.

So..the alternative (and deep down I knew this all of the time as did some of you fellow bloggers who told me so while I was moaning many posts ago) is exercise. I need to get out of my chair, out of this shop when it is closed and onto my bike or feet or whatever I can manage REGULARLY.  In the past exercise has been the one thing that pushed the pounds off when I was stuck.  Exercise is the one thing that helped me curb my desire to stuff down sweet stuff.  Exercise burned calories that I sometimes failed to resist during the day.

I don't need to run...I don't need to do a marathon or even a wild man crazy triathlon.  I just need to move a little more everyday.  Run up and down my stairs 6 or seven time.  Walk for a few miles or ride my bike for a few more.  Changing jobs cut down on a huge amount of daily exercise for me (about 2 miles walk per day).  having the store in my basement has locked me into the house a whole lot more than I normally would have been before.  Only I can do something about that.

Phew-I am Glad that one is over

Ok I resisted the morning coffee but today was not a great one.  headache...check, allergies...check.  Nodded off twice this morning while at work.  Unable to get the multitude of stuff done that needed doing.  One customer in the end.

Grace hitting puberty full on with all of the attitude that comes along with it.  The result:

Breakfast:  orange smoothie thing and three cherries
Lunch: three more cherries, 5 squares of chocolate

During lunch I baked some pasties and an apricot tart but didn't eat any.

Snack:  Starbucks (yes it tasted good..yes I buckled...and yes I needed it)

Dinner: Hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps,  salmon tar tar on lavash with chutney and a couple bites of oven bricked chicken plus a couple of bites of quinoa (the latter two off my MIL's plate and David's.

Dessert:  a piece of apricot tart with a dollop of whipped cream.

Yup..full of crap day finished with some lovely desserty crap.  I am satiated.

Maybe the scale will be kind tomorrow and the infusion of caffeine and alcohol will provide a boost to my attitude???

Ok..Day Two. Here I Come

One day without Starbucks.  Day two finds me resisting the urge to walk around the corner and get my Yoosh..ushe...youge? (how should one spell that funny short for usual word anyway? :)

I made the orange and milk with protein powder and ice smoothie.  I also popped two cherries (sadly for me..first..tsk tsk tsk).  Now my smoothie and vitamins are going down V e r y s l o w l y.

I have allergies and one hellacious headache this  morning (caffeine withdrawals maybe but could be just plain old sinus stuff).

Oh..the scale rewarded me with 1 pound down.

xxxooo

I Did it!!

Breakfast:

 orange juice protein smoothie: 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1/2 cup OJ.  1/2 milk, 1 cup ice
1 oz cheese
1 apricot

Lunch:

1/2 C orzo salad with feta and some cress-like green leaves that were yummy.
3 pretzel sticks with dark chocolate

Dinner:

1/2c more of that yummy greek orzo salad.
Chocolate PB protein smoothie: 1 cup milk, 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1 cup ice, 1 t chocolate powder from Starbucks, 1 t PB powdery stuff.

1/2 c ice cream.

So  I was kind of hungry today.  I did not make every positive choice that I probably should have BUT-I did not darken Starbucks doors today despite walking right across the street from it twice and wanting to in the afternoon in the WORST way.

One day..I call it victory.  We shall see how the scale treats me in the morning.

xxxooo

Today! Now! Enough!

For some reason my resolve has returned.  Like any good alcoholic (or in this case-Starbucks-a-holic)  I am kicking my morning ridiculously huge frapp.

I woke up. I did a kitchen clean.  I made an orange juice and protein powder with a splash of milk and a hit of iced tea (a girls gotta have some caffeine).  It was actually quite tasty despite the blow out experience I had with my blender.

at 11:30 I had the hungries and went back upstairs (working for my lunch don't you know) and had and ounce of cheddar and an apricot.

So the dilemma is..do I get to have an afternoon coffee or not?  I will let you know how I hold out.

My weight is sitting at 179.  180 has become quite stable and unacceptable.  I know that I have gotten stealth about getting calories in.  I am pretty sure a fill will not solve my problems.  It is up to me now.

xxxooo

Food For Thought-

Yep.  This non-dieter is thinking diet.  This morning I found this list on of a pinterest post.  Although I am not going to go crazy on the diet wagon there was some very sage advice here.

Something happened to me on the band.  Things that I never dreamed of doing while I struggled with my weight pre-band I now do without a thought. Sugar drinks and sauce anyone?  We also still eat out way too much.

On the other hand some of the good things I have changed include-no more fast food, equal parts protein and vegetables at meals,Slowing down and concentrating on meals, and eating small meals.

How do you feel about this list?  How does the band help/hurt you in some of these suggestions?

xxxooo

Picture Fest

I have been a slow blogger for the last few weeks.  Here is one big picture post with captions.  Although I hate the changes blogger has made most of the time.  Uploading pictures just got a whole lot easier.

I stopped in Target in Eugene on my way to California.  I got a bag of mixed popcorn (Some girls in Chicago introduced me to the joys of caramel, cheesy and buttered popcorn mix...it is sooo good and oh so bad).  I also picked up some cheap CD's. Willie Nelson, Barry White, Maroon Five and Etta James.  Nice music to drive by.

View from the drivers seat..California sunshine :)

My watermelon car freshener and trees near Mount Shasta

A truck on the right and oak trees on the left.  I love road trips even by myself.

Trying to capture Mt Shasta but she is invisible in photos for some reason.

In Mill Valley, CA I attended a research conference with colleagues who have become my friends over the years.  We always have a great time!  I brought three of them back with me to Portland to show them the sites.  We had a great time in Mill Valley, CA at the conference, on the road home and in Portland.

Out to dinner on a small inlet near Mill Valley, CA.  My friend Tom

 On our drive back to Portland we stopped off and Crater Lake.  There was a big snow storm in May!!

Tom's Son Ciaran on an old fashioned Fort Vancouver outhouse toilet..'pretending'

 Grace in front of the Cannons at Fort Vancouver

 My friend is a beer lover.  He was in heaven at the grocery store.  So many types of beer so little time.

 My friend Helen at the Apple headquarters.  A car-load of us drove down to Cupertino on Saturday to visit the Apple headquarters.  It was closed so all we could do was look in the windows and get chased off by a security guard.  Word to the wise.  Only go on weekdays unless you want to peek in windows.

After the whirlwind trip by my visitors I had three days until the opening of my new knitting/craft shop.  It has been open a little over a week and it is going well.  I am slowly filling classes and have had several requests by customers for more classes.  I found a web designer who works for YARN!!! :)  He is helping me get online registration set up...wahoo.

a friends child modeling a cute froggy hat sample in front of the shop

The view from the shop door.  Walls of colorful yarn, a table with chairs to sit and knit at, A spinning wheel

The front counter: Do you want to get some puppy snips?  How about a spare darning needle?  or on the wall just behind are knitting needles, markers or bobbins to hold small bits of thread for color work.

Display cabinet with the good stuff inside-expensive beaded yarns, shawl pins and a shawl knitted by my Mother in Law. I can wind a cake of yarn to the right.  In the background are paintings of sheep and birds on consignment from an artist friend.

The notions wall..I need more hooks there are a bunch of knitting needles and crochet hooks to be added.

Some of the books for sale.  We are going to do a block of month knit along with the Book Above
(Great North American Afghan)

A hand dyer in Seattle specialized in yarn sets that are graduated one shade at a time or across a color bridge.

This week went well.  We packed the house with knitters for the hand work guild night and Friday night Chardon-knitting (yes wine and knitting at the same time).

I spent today picking out what I knitted on Friday night.  I had three glasses.

Just a note on the diet front.  I have lost 5 of the twenty-ish pounds I put on this Spring.  Being busy seems to be a huge factor for me.  I have also tightened up from my last fill which is helping tremendously.  I had a look at pictures from our summer trip to Iceland..I can really see the weight gain.

July 2011-size 8 and no boobs :)

June 2012 size 10 and pushing 12..um the girls are back but im not sure it is worth it :)  With the boobs came muffin top.

Popping in for a quick 2am update.

• The knitting store opened on Friday and it was good.  
• Being nice to customers is hard work :).  
• I have met so many of my neighbors and so far they are all happy to see the store.
• I registered 3 people for classes, sold some yarn and a book.
• two weeks ago I drove to San Fran for a conference.  I had a great relaxing week in the sun before coming home to hard work.
• I drove some friends back home with me and introduced the Brit and two Irishmen to what real mountains look like :)
• I also taught the guys to eat burgers in a car :)  (I didn't have one..they did)
• Pictures some day :)

xxxooo