Saturday, November 17, 2012

There is a post over  at Dinnerland that got my response juices rolling.  Here is my long-winded response.  Stuff from Dinnerland's place is in italics.  My responses are in normal font.

1. Losing weight is hard.  but..easier with the band. Will everyone get to goal-the research at least in the study I remember:  10 years after surgery the average lapband patient has lost 50% of their weight.  That is some lose it all and regain, some never lose etc.  After a discussion with my surgeon who is a big wig researcher and research reader I found that the reviews of lapband surgery are mixed.  There are plenty who find success with it.  Those who do manage to somehow listen to their stop signs and manage to not overfill their pouches.  The surgeon also said that the sleeve seems to be better at triggering your brain to stop desiring food (triggers the satiation button that they think is located past the stomach).
2. What is success?  goal? what you weighed in high school?  what you wish you had weighed when you were 30?  My goal shifted. It was 200, then 180 then 170 and then when I made it to 164 and then 160 of course I shifted my brain and my clothing sizes.  I want that 160 damnit.  Can I have it as a 48 year old menopausal woman?  maybe not.  Of course more importantly am I willing to sacrifice what needs sacrificing to have it?
3.  What are you willing to change for the above?  You have to.  Some people record what they eat.  I do not. Some give up foods or food groups.  I have given up wheat most of the time.  I sometimes give up my precious coffee drinks (oh this one is so hard).  Some exercise more (what I totally need to see 160-164 again but not sure I am up for the challenge).  How little are you willing to eat?  I am down to a VERY small amount.  Much less than I ever thought I could bear.  I am totally OK with that these days but I know others who cannot.  I do know that I have to or I have to give up my low goal and go for a higher one (like 180)  Only each person can decide between the changes and the results.

In reponse to Dinnerland directly:

1) Seems like many successful bandsters measure portions-I do but not overtly.  I eat out of a coffee mug and fill it half full.  I eyeball my meat portions and stick to a size that is about half the size of my hand and then very carefully listen to the feelings in my chest and throat.  I can feel when I am getting to the point that is full for me these days.  It feels different than the old full  it is definitely a pressure in my chest not a painful one just a feeling.

2) Seems like many successful bandsters follow more rules than they break. What rules?  I really feel like I have one.  Do not drink when you eat.  Sure I do other things like usually eat my protein first but not always.  Don't drink my calories-nah.  If I feel like I need a drink I have one (unless food is involved).  Exercise-well not so much but I do try to walk further and take the long way around when faced with the option.

3) Seems like many successful bandsters listen to their bodies, but don't eat beyond measured portions most of the time (even if still hungry.)  Nope not me.  I listen to pouch.  My tummy dosn't tell me hungry or not these days.  If my pouch gets full I stop (or pay the consequences and this just does not happen often anymore).  If I am hungry and I still have food I can eat I go eat it until my pouch is full.  Of course I will try and pick something fairly good for me. If I feel like my pouch empties too fast or holds too much I try a fill.  The worst case scenario is I have to get some back out.  but without trying I will never know.

4) Seems like many successful bandsters weigh in regularly-- though perhaps not daily.  I weight most days.There was a time when I didn't weight myself.  When I went from 250 to 300. never again on that one.

5) Seems like most successful bandsters eat the sames things daily oftentimes.
Good lord all mighty no...This is actually what I used to do when I was at my old weight.  drive up window a few times a week.  eating out others.  Now food is an adventure to be had.  I have vowed to eat two bites of anything I have never tried before.  If anything is normal it is my morning lack of breakfast replaced with coffee.  and in a pinch I go for cheese. I never have the same thing two days in a row and frankly leftovers scare me a bit ;)  
6) Seems like there are more 'struggling' or 'getting there' bandsters than perfect success stories...Well..again does one expect this to be magic?  Nothing worth getting ever is.  The band makes it doable for some-many??  but by no means is it a free ride. It takes work, change, and figuring out the things that one can sustain for the long term not a week or a month or even a year.

From the comments:
Seems like many successful bandsters do not have other people to feed every day, like kids and a husband-I have a husband who has weight issues.  I have four daughters one of whom still lives at home.  We have all changed how we eat and for the better.  having kids around the house isn't easy but eating healthy is good for everyone.  No one should eat pizza and fast food or carb laden meals or processed meals all of the time.  I did this to set good examples for my family.  If I do not change and then change what they are served what is the point?


Seems like many successful bandsters did not spend 30 years dieting-I spent 44 years fat and probably 36 of them dieting.  I was that fat kid everyone made fun of in P.E.


Seems like many successful bandsters are like, 2% of total bandsters.-this one loops back to how do you define success.  My doctor said i was success at 200 pounds.  I say success or where I want to be is 164.  I am at that success?  the game isn't over because one day you stand on the scale and it says what you want.  The scale moves and changes. How much one eats and move changes from day to day.    Even the skinnies of the world have weights that vary they just don't stress over it so much.

 In other words, extremely unusual and "results not typical." 

Seems like there really are not that many successful bandsters, if success means 90% or more of excess weight lost. Go ahead. Count them. On one hand. 

Seems like there are many successful bandsters, if success means 60% of excess weight loss. does have to look at this part :)

And...Forget about becoming someone completely different. Many "successful" bandsters already had the personality traits in place to make this work.  hmm  I don't think I did really.  So you are saying one can be born to be a successful bandster?  Sure I have seen that many online bansters are go-getters with jobs, families, travelers etc. that just why they are online and the quiet ones aren't that way?? or did we just have the guts to go take care of the problem with surgery?  I don't think anyone knows the answer to this one.  I do feel VERY different.  Sure my morals are the same.  I still love my husband and kids.  I do live in the world differently.  clothing and shoes and beauty is fun now-it was not before.  I am more adventurous now.  I stand up for myself now.  I flirt.  People look at me and I smile and greet them.  Those are all very different parts of me than before.

 They were born this way and lived this way. If you think you can change your entire personality at this point, forget it. 

I think you are great and beautiful the way you are. I think you are a successful woman, a good mother, and a good wife. I think you need to celebrate your successes. 

If you have been around the same weight for over a year, chances, are, this is it for you and the band.-I agree than you can look at what you have and how far you have come and celebrate it.  but..I disagree that just because it has been a year you need to give up.  What do you want?  what are you willing to do to get more weight off?  You will have to change something.  What is it?  If you are than go for it.  A fill might be involved.  an alternative method might be involved.  Write it down..try it out for a good long while and see.  Question whether you can do it long term or not?  if not..then are you OK with here.  If not than try something else that you think you can sustain.  That something else might be small like a food change and/or exercise.  It might be medium like a fill or it might be big like a change to an alternative weight-loss surgery.



Gen said...

Tina, I did not say it well, but what I meant to say is, the problem is with the definition of "success". In my book, you are a total success. And, Dinnerland is a complete success.

But there is this idea that you are not a success unless you are "skinny." You are not a "success" unless you fit into the arbitrary BMI chart. Like, 130-140-maybe at the most 150-skinny. This shit is not attainable for the majority of us. I'm just saying: give it up. Its not reasonable. 160 or 170 or 180 or more is "success" if you are healthy and did the best you could. Why continue to beat yourself up about it? Let it go. If you are healthy, eat well, exercise, are a reasonable size (12 or under, in my equallly arbitrary universe) you got it. You ARE A SUCCESS!

Gen said...
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Linda said...

So many of us like you and Gen are successes even though we may never be perfect on the BMI charts. Mostly because you figured out how to live with the band and know its not perfect.
We are really similar in our view of the band and the realization that we'll never be done. I've let myself gain lately but I know what I need to do to get in check.
I love reading your blog struggles and successes because I think you are the real success story.

Lap Band Gal said...

Great post! Well said :)

Tina Johnston said...

I like to call it success in progress. Somehow the word success seems like finished don't you think? :)

A meal or a party can be successful. work in progress. and now that I type that I kind of think perhaps that is what makes weight-loss difficult. We look at it as an event with a beginning middle and end. The bad news is there might be a beginning but dream on if you think there is an end because it is going to go on and on until we die. :)