Riding my Bike
My neighborhood is build around a big 2.2 mile loop. I ride around Oak Hills Drive, which turns into 144th ghd Perimeter and then back into Oak Hills Drive. you will have to click the x in the corner of the speech bubble, the center the loop in the frame. Finally hit zoom in once and you will see the map with streets.
View Larger Map
This all looks flat on a map...yeah will it is not. There is a pretty decent big hill involved and then sever really small ones. Most serious bikers would call it nothing. It is a thigh burner for me.
I have up to this point been afraid to try it. I was just not prepared for the failure if I could not get around the neighborhood. Well yesterday afternoon I got up the guts and went for it. I included some sanity saving hill skipping measures (like going out my back door and up the hill behind my house (saves me 1/2 the big hill ascent). I then rode halfway around the loop (and my thighs were screaming but my brain said nooo you can go further). I went three quarters of the way and my legs were screaming more loudly and I was cussing back at them (yes it was the 'f' word..over and over). I made it to the bottom of my street (because I still had the hill I skipped at the beginning to come back up. and I couldn't do it anymore. My lungs burned and I was coughing and my legs were getting to the point of collapse. So I walked my bike up the hill to my house.
I made it. I cannot fathom why on the bike I am able to push past exercise pain when walking or God forbid running I would never in a million years do that. My office mate thinks that it is because pushing the bike is just enough of a pain in the butt to make you want to get back on. I don't know but I do know Im OK with my progress and I am going to try it again.
Driving to San Francisco Today
After the dryer is finished and my packing is complete I am leaving by myself for a road trip to San Francisco. It is a 9 hour drive (the longest I have ever taken alone but i'm kind of excited to do it). I am off to another conference but have planned to drive so I can take my bike, pillow, camera, some books I have to return, several pairs of shoes, three books on CD, etc. For some reason knowing I am taking the car has put my packing sense into overdrive. I promise I will get the camera hook-up sorted out and upload from this trip.
Finally to end this thing...I want to give a shout out to Bunny. She is having a bad couple of days and I want to provide her with a virtual vacation:
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Patience is a Virtue
So today I followed my standard morning routine-Get up, pee, weigh. Well lo and behold the scale moved!! I am down not one pound but two pounds! When I went into my weight tracker program to change it I had a look at when I last logged a loss and it was on September 27.
I would have guessed at least a month not 3 weeks.
Being disappointed about weight for so long and so often has turned me into a weight loss pessimist. No matter how many times I go through the cycle of lose, stop losing and then start losing again I still get stressed out when I get into a plateau and the weight won't budge. As much as I know that my behavior (eat junk, eat healthily, exercise or not) is directly related to the weight coming off, when I am in the middle of my body not behaving as science says I get worried. When one week, then two weeks, then three goes by the time stretches in my brain and 3 weeks becomes a month. I eat foods that I know I shouldn't or sit on my rear and wallow in the belief that weigh loss, for me is different. Diets don't work and whether I eat or not isn't helping me lose so why would it make me gain.
Even though I know the pattern, have lived the pattern for over a year, I still can't quite change that mind set.
When I read all of the other blogs and see you struggling with frustrations I can see clearly that it is a bump, a plateau or some skill to be learned. When I struggle with myself it is all so different. Hopefully this post will in some way dislodge a tiny bit of that mindset and I can learn as much real patience in myself as I do with everyone else.
I would have guessed at least a month not 3 weeks.
Being disappointed about weight for so long and so often has turned me into a weight loss pessimist. No matter how many times I go through the cycle of lose, stop losing and then start losing again I still get stressed out when I get into a plateau and the weight won't budge. As much as I know that my behavior (eat junk, eat healthily, exercise or not) is directly related to the weight coming off, when I am in the middle of my body not behaving as science says I get worried. When one week, then two weeks, then three goes by the time stretches in my brain and 3 weeks becomes a month. I eat foods that I know I shouldn't or sit on my rear and wallow in the belief that weigh loss, for me is different. Diets don't work and whether I eat or not isn't helping me lose so why would it make me gain.
Even though I know the pattern, have lived the pattern for over a year, I still can't quite change that mind set.
When I read all of the other blogs and see you struggling with frustrations I can see clearly that it is a bump, a plateau or some skill to be learned. When I struggle with myself it is all so different. Hopefully this post will in some way dislodge a tiny bit of that mindset and I can learn as much real patience in myself as I do with everyone else.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Pics in Denim
I made my husband take some new pictures of me the other night. Even though I think it has only been 5-10 pounds since my last set of pics I can see more of a difference in these than the last ones. My face is finally starting to un-chubbify a little.
These are my sized 16 levi's 560 jeans. They are definitely a good thing if you have small legs but a large and long waist. These hit me right at my belly button but are flared too. The bit of Lycra in them makes them very comfortable. Note that I am standing next to my scale :) She and I have a much better relationship these days!
These Are my new trouser jeans. They look a bit baggier but Grace (aged 8) and my husband say they look good.
This picture is of my trouser jeans. As you can see is from the back. I still say they are a bit baggy but hey who can complain about jeans that are baggy!
These are my sized 16 levi's 560 jeans. They are definitely a good thing if you have small legs but a large and long waist. These hit me right at my belly button but are flared too. The bit of Lycra in them makes them very comfortable. Note that I am standing next to my scale :) She and I have a much better relationship these days!
These Are my new trouser jeans. They look a bit baggier but Grace (aged 8) and my husband say they look good.
This picture is of my trouser jeans. As you can see is from the back. I still say they are a bit baggy but hey who can complain about jeans that are baggy!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wearin Denim while I Face Plant in Pie
Ok Day number two of the great denim search yielded two pairs of decent jeans. One sized 18 trouser jeans. They are kind of dressy and kind of baggy but my 8 year old said they looked good (yes I am reduced to getting an 8 year old's opinion because my older daughters have moved out...good or bad? ;).... The second pair are Levi 560's. Slightly stretchy, slight muffin top but oh so comfortable and a decent sized zipper. They are a size 16.
I got both of these pairs of jeans at the same store I shopped at yesterday but at a different location (Fred Meyer for those who live in the northwest). I went with the intention of getting another pair of yoga pants (because I wore them today and they fit so wonderfully that I could wear them everyday for the rest of my life). This location did not have any of the kind of yoga pants I wanted so I on a lark went over to jeans to see what they had there. I definitely was much happier in the dressing room this time.
Because Fred Meyer has everything I also managed to pick up Halloween candy, some ground beef for dinner and some new clothes off the discount rack for Grace.
Ok now to the not so good part of my story....Apple pie tastes good. My band is behaving like a spazz and I am already on my second 1/2 slice. So my band has been tight then loose then tight then loose-this can change daily and even hourly. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to go in at least for a consult and maybe for a small fill. It is weird because there are times when I burp and I know I am only burping spit that has built up in my stomach because it is empty and at best there is some liquid in there. At other times I can shovel in a piece of pie, fettuccine Alfredo or some other once taboo food with the greatest of ease.
I have debated whether I have just learned to eat these foods (chewing well and small bites) or if I have really opened back up...
ahh to fill or not to fill that is the question. Whether tis nobler to resist the charms of sweetness and move thy body to the rhythms of life's great speeding path or better to seek outside assistance with a needle and shot of liquid control.
Ok someone can add to that-I am all tapped out with my creative play on Hamlet. I just went at looked at the whole piece and I think it can be done.
I got both of these pairs of jeans at the same store I shopped at yesterday but at a different location (Fred Meyer for those who live in the northwest). I went with the intention of getting another pair of yoga pants (because I wore them today and they fit so wonderfully that I could wear them everyday for the rest of my life). This location did not have any of the kind of yoga pants I wanted so I on a lark went over to jeans to see what they had there. I definitely was much happier in the dressing room this time.
Because Fred Meyer has everything I also managed to pick up Halloween candy, some ground beef for dinner and some new clothes off the discount rack for Grace.
Ok now to the not so good part of my story....Apple pie tastes good. My band is behaving like a spazz and I am already on my second 1/2 slice. So my band has been tight then loose then tight then loose-this can change daily and even hourly. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to go in at least for a consult and maybe for a small fill. It is weird because there are times when I burp and I know I am only burping spit that has built up in my stomach because it is empty and at best there is some liquid in there. At other times I can shovel in a piece of pie, fettuccine Alfredo or some other once taboo food with the greatest of ease.
I have debated whether I have just learned to eat these foods (chewing well and small bites) or if I have really opened back up...
ahh to fill or not to fill that is the question. Whether tis nobler to resist the charms of sweetness and move thy body to the rhythms of life's great speeding path or better to seek outside assistance with a needle and shot of liquid control.
Ok someone can add to that-I am all tapped out with my creative play on Hamlet. I just went at looked at the whole piece and I think it can be done.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Too Big For My Britches-
On Saturday (see the post below) I was high on my new smaller size. Well I think I was a little high on the belief scale. A word or warning or information :) depending on how you look at it is that the Gap makes their clothes large!.
Today I went to our local 'sells everything store' to look for jeans. This store sells Levi's and I have always had good luck with that brand but...I am not the same size and shape as I was before. After trying on 15 pairs of jeans made by 5 different companies and from two different departments I came away with zero pairs of jeans. I am apparently too small for the large sized department but not really in the regular sized department for jeans either. All of the jeans gave me huge muffin top while the jeans in the large sized department floated around me in all areas. When I asked to see jeans with a higher waist they could find exactly one pair and those had granny pant-legs that my daughters have banned from my life (and I admit look horrible). So apparently I need a granny waist without granny pant legs. I cannot be the only person with this problem!
After reaching a point of frustration in the denim department I moved on to the fitness department and tried to find some workout pants (of course less than the $25.00 I was advised against spending). I tried on 9 pairs of yoga pants and found exactly one pair that fit nicely-again either super baggy leg, too short or muffin top. I would have bought 3 pairs of these but the store only had one sized extra large on the rack. I paid a whopping 34 dollars for these yoga pants.
I refuse to give up and will keep looking for jeans. I will go back to Gap and buy the perfectly good yoga pants for $25.00 and never listen to my children again when they suggest I can get the same thing for less money elsewhere.
If anyone is somewhat tall, has skinny legs and in the sized 16 to 18 range has any advice about brands and styles please let me know!!! I need help and patience :)
Today I went to our local 'sells everything store' to look for jeans. This store sells Levi's and I have always had good luck with that brand but...I am not the same size and shape as I was before. After trying on 15 pairs of jeans made by 5 different companies and from two different departments I came away with zero pairs of jeans. I am apparently too small for the large sized department but not really in the regular sized department for jeans either. All of the jeans gave me huge muffin top while the jeans in the large sized department floated around me in all areas. When I asked to see jeans with a higher waist they could find exactly one pair and those had granny pant-legs that my daughters have banned from my life (and I admit look horrible). So apparently I need a granny waist without granny pant legs. I cannot be the only person with this problem!
After reaching a point of frustration in the denim department I moved on to the fitness department and tried to find some workout pants (of course less than the $25.00 I was advised against spending). I tried on 9 pairs of yoga pants and found exactly one pair that fit nicely-again either super baggy leg, too short or muffin top. I would have bought 3 pairs of these but the store only had one sized extra large on the rack. I paid a whopping 34 dollars for these yoga pants.
I refuse to give up and will keep looking for jeans. I will go back to Gap and buy the perfectly good yoga pants for $25.00 and never listen to my children again when they suggest I can get the same thing for less money elsewhere.
If anyone is somewhat tall, has skinny legs and in the sized 16 to 18 range has any advice about brands and styles please let me know!!! I need help and patience :)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Clothes Shopping
I went shopping with two of my daughters and grandson yesterday. My daughter without trying has lost weight (definitely NOT from my genetic weight-loss pool). She is also almost 6 feet tall and suffers when looking for slacks for work that are long enough. For her birthday the hunt was on for slacks that were long enough and lunch out. We went to our local fine department store and they do not carry tall slacks. We then went to the Gap who are known for their longer pants length and voila-some tall girl pants.
While on this hunt, on a lark, I tried on some real people clothes (as apposed to the ones from the big girl department). I know I have gotten on the odd sized 18 and a sized 16 that my mother handed down to me but this time, for the first time, in a real department store. I tried on sized extra large yoga pants and a cardigan and had to get a smaller size! I went back and got a large and they fit. My daughters were horrified at the price tag of $25.00 for the pants and I don't really need a cardi. so I did not buy them but I am kicking myself now because I am down to one pair of jeans (ripped the yoga pants my daughter gave me on a nail and it is now too darned cold to wear capris or shorts)...argh. I might have to pop back and buy a pair or two.
I have to say it is kind of overwhelming to think about the whole of a department store as shoppable. I have gotten quite used to (since 1987) going to my small circle of racks and stores to buy sized x clothes. I am sure I will get used to it!! haha
I almost forgot-these size changes have occurred at exactly the same weight I was at 3 weeks ago. By some weird body shifting fate. I have gone down a couple of sizes without shifting a pound (or even gone up one!). Life and bodies are just plain old weird.
While on this hunt, on a lark, I tried on some real people clothes (as apposed to the ones from the big girl department). I know I have gotten on the odd sized 18 and a sized 16 that my mother handed down to me but this time, for the first time, in a real department store. I tried on sized extra large yoga pants and a cardigan and had to get a smaller size! I went back and got a large and they fit. My daughters were horrified at the price tag of $25.00 for the pants and I don't really need a cardi. so I did not buy them but I am kicking myself now because I am down to one pair of jeans (ripped the yoga pants my daughter gave me on a nail and it is now too darned cold to wear capris or shorts)...argh. I might have to pop back and buy a pair or two.
I have to say it is kind of overwhelming to think about the whole of a department store as shoppable. I have gotten quite used to (since 1987) going to my small circle of racks and stores to buy sized x clothes. I am sure I will get used to it!! haha
I almost forgot-these size changes have occurred at exactly the same weight I was at 3 weeks ago. By some weird body shifting fate. I have gone down a couple of sizes without shifting a pound (or even gone up one!). Life and bodies are just plain old weird.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Cup of Tea?
It is totally amazing to me that my taste-buds have changed so much after banding. I cannot fathom why but food that I used to hate has become tasty and the drinks I used to dislike are now yummy. I am even beginning to dislike things that I used to love (well Ok maybe dislike is a strong word :)).
So I used to be very particular about the meats I would eat. I was a chicken, beef and turkey girl. No pork products of seafood. Over the last year I have begun to eat and even enjoy fish. I have eaten and enjoyed clams a few times but my tummy doesn't like them so I am off them again. I tried pork in Germany and have continued to sample it here and there (and even kind of like it). I still do not like mutton or lamb (poor sheep-bahhhhhhhh).
My grandparents raised sheep for wool only! I was raised to think of them as pets!
Now the biggest change in my drinking habits has been of course the no drinking while eating rule (a life changing event for sure). I used to be that person who got 3 or even 4 refills of Diet Coke at a meal and manage to drink one or two glasses of water besides. I truly think that even the unbanded could learn a thing or two about the drinking and eating combination. I think that water used to wash the vast quantities of food I was eating right on through my stomach and out the other side. I have yet to convince anyone in my family about its virtues though.
In addition to the lack of drink is a change in my choice of cold vs. hot drinks. I have always hated hot drinks and really enjoyed iced cold ones. This has recently begun to change, however. Over the last few months I have begun to like hot drinks. My hot drink of choice...The reading Brits can release a collective whoop of pleasure here...is tea. Not American tea but good old milk in the cup first, P.G. tips tea bag and water second with a spoon of sugar. The warm tea goes down and soothes my band. I have some de-caff tea bags for nighttime and I am trying to start drinking the tea instead of my old Diet Coke for breakfast. Funnily enough after two days off the Diet Coke it isn't tasting very good anymore.
I will miss you old friend
yum...Ok the presentation looks like it needs a scone with cream and jam but keep your focus on the tea pot please...
So I used to be very particular about the meats I would eat. I was a chicken, beef and turkey girl. No pork products of seafood. Over the last year I have begun to eat and even enjoy fish. I have eaten and enjoyed clams a few times but my tummy doesn't like them so I am off them again. I tried pork in Germany and have continued to sample it here and there (and even kind of like it). I still do not like mutton or lamb (poor sheep-bahhhhhhhh).
My grandparents raised sheep for wool only! I was raised to think of them as pets!
Now the biggest change in my drinking habits has been of course the no drinking while eating rule (a life changing event for sure). I used to be that person who got 3 or even 4 refills of Diet Coke at a meal and manage to drink one or two glasses of water besides. I truly think that even the unbanded could learn a thing or two about the drinking and eating combination. I think that water used to wash the vast quantities of food I was eating right on through my stomach and out the other side. I have yet to convince anyone in my family about its virtues though.
In addition to the lack of drink is a change in my choice of cold vs. hot drinks. I have always hated hot drinks and really enjoyed iced cold ones. This has recently begun to change, however. Over the last few months I have begun to like hot drinks. My hot drink of choice...The reading Brits can release a collective whoop of pleasure here...is tea. Not American tea but good old milk in the cup first, P.G. tips tea bag and water second with a spoon of sugar. The warm tea goes down and soothes my band. I have some de-caff tea bags for nighttime and I am trying to start drinking the tea instead of my old Diet Coke for breakfast. Funnily enough after two days off the Diet Coke it isn't tasting very good anymore.
I will miss you old friend
yum...Ok the presentation looks like it needs a scone with cream and jam but keep your focus on the tea pot please...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Much Better
Sick-Kinda
I had some weird stomach thing on Sunday. I was feeling open and decided to test my old stomach again with a small hamburger from Wendy's. I bought, I bit and it went down just fine. a couple of hours later I was drinking the pop from dinner. Watching TV and getting some grading done when my stomach began to hurt...badly. I was moaning and groaning. It was like someone was blowing me up with a bike pump. I tried to burp but with no luck. Finally I was sick (the deep down and painful kind). about 40 minutes later it all built up and came on again. After that I suffered from a bit of heartburn but went to bed because it was late.
Monday I skipped the Diet Coke (ya think??) and carried water and sipped as much as I could all day. I ate a string cheese and 1/2 a cheese sandwich for lunch and then another half as a snack in the afternoon. I had a mocha frapp. (Starbucks frozen coffee thing) at around 2:30 and ended up with another stomach ache (heartburn). Dinner was a bowl of soup and some very soft chicken breast.
Today I am still afraid..so no caffeine at all. I had water, a little popcorn, 2 olives in the morning. For lunch I had 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich and later on lowfat pumpkin ice cream. For dinner 2/3 of a chicken pot pie (mostly the insides and not the crust).
I'm not sure if this deserves a doctors visit or if I should just continue to lay off the pop and caffeine and eat better.
I have gained 3 pounds (I never pay attention but it is bordering on irritating now).
Monday I skipped the Diet Coke (ya think??) and carried water and sipped as much as I could all day. I ate a string cheese and 1/2 a cheese sandwich for lunch and then another half as a snack in the afternoon. I had a mocha frapp. (Starbucks frozen coffee thing) at around 2:30 and ended up with another stomach ache (heartburn). Dinner was a bowl of soup and some very soft chicken breast.
Today I am still afraid..so no caffeine at all. I had water, a little popcorn, 2 olives in the morning. For lunch I had 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich and later on lowfat pumpkin ice cream. For dinner 2/3 of a chicken pot pie (mostly the insides and not the crust).
I'm not sure if this deserves a doctors visit or if I should just continue to lay off the pop and caffeine and eat better.
I have gained 3 pounds (I never pay attention but it is bordering on irritating now).
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Pundetta?
I think some one posted about this before and ever since then I have been paying attention to the pass codes we must put in before putting a comment on other peoples blogs...Well tonight I hit the jackpot.
Pundetta? Please post your imagined definitions to my comments page. or better yet take out a pundetta on me :) what would that look like?
Pundetta? Please post your imagined definitions to my comments page. or better yet take out a pundetta on me :) what would that look like?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Things Are Looking Up
So I'm at work again today. My battle with the bike riding has been because I am trying to save myself 200 dollars a year by parking in the free zone (about a mile from my office) and riding my bike in. I have to say that after Tuesday I was pretty disheartened that I would ever be able to pull it off. My backside was on fire and I couldn't pedal for more than a block. In my poor pity party loving head I decided that life was just not fair and if I could walk for 7 miles I should be able to go more than a block on my bike right?? Wellllllllll silly me.
After a new big butt bike seat (or as the bike store guy called it-grandpa seat) and moving the bike seat up an inch and back and inch plus moving the handlebars up an inch my backside is happy, my legs are happy. I made it to my office and only had to walk twice.
After lunch I went on a short ride with my crazy office mate who has taken up serious biking (and yes I was scared to death he was going to drag my sorry self on some crazy hellish bike ride). I discovered my tires were flat (well really my office mate noticed because I cant see my tires when I am on the bike!). We went to the campus bike shop and he filled them up and viola...I can ride a bike! I can go fast, I can go far and it is sorta easy!!!
Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-My stomach has opened way up again and I have been sorta having a bit of a food crisis but wahoo I can ride a bike better than I could 82 pounds ago.
After a new big butt bike seat (or as the bike store guy called it-grandpa seat) and moving the bike seat up an inch and back and inch plus moving the handlebars up an inch my backside is happy, my legs are happy. I made it to my office and only had to walk twice.
After lunch I went on a short ride with my crazy office mate who has taken up serious biking (and yes I was scared to death he was going to drag my sorry self on some crazy hellish bike ride). I discovered my tires were flat (well really my office mate noticed because I cant see my tires when I am on the bike!). We went to the campus bike shop and he filled them up and viola...I can ride a bike! I can go fast, I can go far and it is sorta easy!!!
Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-My stomach has opened way up again and I have been sorta having a bit of a food crisis but wahoo I can ride a bike better than I could 82 pounds ago.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Bad Day Number 2
Still bummed today. I really think it is my head and nothing else. The shift in fall weather I hate! I love summer and do not like other seasons at all. I should really live in Florida or Southern California....hmm maybe the south of France or Spain? My work has tapered off again (can't concentrate). I am eating like crap and having to force myself to get up and move.
My band has definitely reopened again but I am not really attending to anything I should be. I had some mini shredded wheat for breakfast (7 is way more than I have been able to for a couple of months). At mid morning I had some ice cream (a really naughty amount). At two I had 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich. The bike ride came in right after the ice cream out of guilt! I had soup for dinner (again could get it down quite easily) and had a protein shake later because I felt so bad about the protein value for the day.
Today has not been very much better. a couple of handfuls of candy corn, two string cheeses and finally at 11am I have had a my first Diet Coke.
I have pressing papers to write and online courses to check in on. I am having one heck of a time getting motivated! All right..I am calling the gyno to deal with the hormones. Maybe pulling my sunlight lamp will help as well. arghgh I hate this up and down emotional stuff!
My band has definitely reopened again but I am not really attending to anything I should be. I had some mini shredded wheat for breakfast (7 is way more than I have been able to for a couple of months). At mid morning I had some ice cream (a really naughty amount). At two I had 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich. The bike ride came in right after the ice cream out of guilt! I had soup for dinner (again could get it down quite easily) and had a protein shake later because I felt so bad about the protein value for the day.
Today has not been very much better. a couple of handfuls of candy corn, two string cheeses and finally at 11am I have had a my first Diet Coke.
I have pressing papers to write and online courses to check in on. I am having one heck of a time getting motivated! All right..I am calling the gyno to deal with the hormones. Maybe pulling my sunlight lamp will help as well. arghgh I hate this up and down emotional stuff!
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