Who Would Have Known-

I had a little chat to David last night about my dieting mojo.  It is hard to describe this feeling (as it was in my conversation last night) but I am going to give it a try.  So here is the deal.  I have had a really hard time getting my head into the 'do what I need to do game.'  I went through years and years of it when I ballooned to my full weight of 304 but now the problem seems to have reared its ugly head again.  For all but the last year of my post band life I have been motivated.  Sure there was the odd week of bender-like behavior but for the most part when something needed doing I pulled on my big girl pants and got down to business.

So now..I know there is stuff I need to do but my brain is just too tired to motivate my arse into gear.  Well that was until yesterday when I embarked on the day that changed things.  Two things happened yesterday that are blog-worthy.  I went clothes shopping and I blogged.

The shopping:  Grace needed new clothes and of course I needed new bigger girl clothes.  The thing is something happened while I was trying on those clothes.  Sure the size 12's fit OK and they looked fine.  The problem is that each pair of pants I tried on made me think of a perfectly good pair already hanging in my closet that I LOVE...I decided during this few hours that I want my old clothes bad enough to do something about it.

The Blogging:  I blogged about this bad place I am in and lo and behold people responded.  We have all said it.  When we blog we find out motivation.  When we blog we figure out we are not alone.  The funny thing is that somehow when it is me in that non-blogging bad place I have to wallow in it for a while in order to take action.

So today I have some mojo.  Last night I put my brain to work puzzling over what needed to be done.  Obviously action of some kind.  There are two shining beacons of wrong-doing in my dieting plan.  I have blogged about both of them and they pop out at me every time I read back (and frankly I know they have needed doing for quite some time only I was burying my head int he sand in avoidance).

I have got to stop drinking calories.  I know I am doing it.  I have been doing it for a long time.  Sure I managed to lose weight while gradually increasing my consumption of sweet drinks (yup the coffee rears its ugly head again).  When I laid in bed last night and took an honest look at my behavior over the last 6 months I can honestly say I have definitely figured out ways to slip calories past my band and worse have been doing it on a regular basis.  a frapp here a cocktail there and ice cream chasers.  I have switched to the horrendous practice of drinking my breakfast in the form of a sweet coffee drink and not eating until afternoon.  This late lunch then turns into an even later dinner that I grab on the fly.  It is often a slice of cheese and cracker.  Finally I will finish up one of my night knitting sessions and head straight on over for some ice-creamy dessert or if I am being good a protein smoothie.

So today-no more calorific liquids.  They warned me against this when I first visited the nutritionist before surgery.  They wrote in bold letters in my paperwork.  Do not drink blended or sweetened coffee drinks.  Did I listen..oh no...The evil plot my brain and body furnace has waged soon had me doing exactly what I was told not to do.  I am sure this will not be easy.

I need to exercise again.  I was biking and walking all over the place before.  Now I have a hard time shifting myself to get a move on.  I have lots of ideas but I am not sure how easy this one is going to be to crack.  I have a stationary bike so I might drag into my shop and knit and ride or I might keep trying to walk.  I do have a walking date tomorrow morning with my daughter for a start.  I do know I need to  do something.

The action plan is being made. and actions being taken.   No calories in liquid form so far today.  one real meal down the hatch.

xxxooo