Endo-Hunger

Wow-

So much has happened in the last few days I am having trouble figuring out what order to write it down.  Add to this the fact that it is 4:51 in the morning and I am laying wide awake is probably not helping my brain organization.  Lets go back to Thursday.

Thursday:  The yarn crawl started off with a bang.  The store was packed and things were crazy busy but I took off on time to see the endocrinologist.  I took a little close your eyes nap in the waiting room while I waited a half an hour to get in to see him.  My expectations were rather small as 1.  I was too busy to read up on him ahead of time and 2.  I was still super annoyed at the scheduling snafu.  I was pleasantly surprised instead.  He first asked me why I was there...um  given my morning and my little waiting room nap...I was left speechless.  I pulled a poorly why don't you tell me what you do routine and he did the talking and questioning after that.

He went through the stuff that I know but always sinks  in my mind to a doubtful self-loathing when the weight is piling on and I know I have eaten things I shouldn't.

• Your obesity is 80% genetics
• we know that even when you do the right things, have surgery etc. your body fights to get back to the weight it thinks you should be at.

He also talked about new stuff they have learned in the last five years:

• Menopause is evil (he didn't say that but..he implied it)
• the hormonal drop screws with your weight gain.
• the hormonal drop causes weight gain on a woman's waistline (of course he had to wave his hand at my tubby waist every time he brought this up)

He said I had done incredibly well with my lap band

• he explained the results of the LABS study (in generalities) that I was a participant in and they were so bad that they were no longer installing lap bands at the hospital.
• he explained how some studies use the term %of weight loss but that term is the result of a specific formula.  the BMI weight expectations and then percent of the desired loss..as a side note: So one of the main studies I read before surgery said the average lap band patient loses 50% of excess weight.  he said this translated to 20% of body weight.  While I was there I took all this in but after thinking about it later it seems like the European study is a more reasonable way to look at it-sure I lost 50% of my body weight with the band but more importantly I hit goal or I lost 100% of the weight i wanted to lose.  Seems like that second number is more important but who the heck knows what those bariatric types prefer.  Right now I am sitting better than the European study average-50% of excess and I am at 90 lbs lost or 60% (Now don't get me wrong-I am not satisfied with this).

He went through what he could do for me and this blasted weight gain that is apparently the result of:  the unfill, my bodies desire to be a bouncing 300 pounds again and the dreaded peri-menopause girth gain.

•  He said that there are drugs..the cheapest is the one he started me on-half of the fen fen debacle is just fen :) don't ask me to spell there rest of the title.  
• He said the drugs work on my brain to stop telling me I am so hungry.
• He listed the side effects:  thirst, might feel like I have had 9 cups of coffee.  Might not be able to sleep.
• He said these side effects will get better after two weeks or so.
• I asked him what I should do if they were really bad-He said drop to a half a pill for a week and ramp up.

He said come see him in 3 months-I snorted at this-and then reminded him of the difficulties that he had in getting me an appointment in the first place.  He actually apologized for the debacle and said his staff dropped the ball.  I jokingly said I would probably see him in July.  He responded-well don't make an appointment at the beginning of the month as I will likely cancel it (he was joking but in a serious as a heart attack way).  

I left with my shiny prescription in tow and tried to make that appointment at the front desk..they said call as they could not make one.  I headed back to the zoo that was my store (a good zoo but a zoo). and kept that prescription in my pocket until Monday.  

Monday:  I called with a second attempt to make an appointment.  August is the soonest I can be seen (snort..I knew it).  The appointment taker said she would put me on a wait list for a cancellation.  If this guy isn't good (and he is looking good right now) he is definitely popular.

I filled the prescription at Walgreens and bought a pint of ice cream (my favorite peanut butter cup).  Why you might ask..because I am that stupid?  I think I had a very strong case of Last Supper syndrome.  I ate the ice cream last night and took my first pill this morning.

• It tastes VILE.  Like tylonol on steroids.  Thankfully the pills are tiny and I could wash it down whole and quickly.
• I am rather sensitive to medications and I felt it hit in about an hour.  slightly energized and a tiny bit nauseous. Definitely not hungry.
• The doctor said:  Do not eat unless you are really hungry. If that means you do want not eat all morning or afternoon than don't.  That is how these work.  I wasn't hungry!!
• I am still not really hungry but I figured that after I finished with my night group in the store that I should eat something so I had hubby make me an egg.  I ate 80% of the egg with cheese on it.  It was good.  I left the last bit not because my band said..hang on stop or your gonna pay.  I stopped because I just didn't want anymore of the darned egg (wahooooo).  How coolarific is that!

Ok..fast forward to 5:20 am.  Um..side effect has appeared.  I am wide awake sitting up in my dark room.  My husband is snoring and my jaw is tight-you know..one of those oh crap I should not have had that venti latte at 8:30pm feelings?  I had 0 caffeine today but...the jaw :) and my eyes are stuck in the open position.  I am also rather thirsty.  The good news is I brought a bottle of water to bed with me (for once in my life planning ahead).

soo..all the other junk screw it! :) I feel a positive phase of weight-loss coming on at least.  Just so I have a record somewhere (although I love the comments and the knowledge that someone out there reads this)  this blog is AWESOME as a record of all of my health junk.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have referenced it before an appointment so I get my dates right.  soo..I am going to do the health update.

menopause-the once every two week thing has delayed another week thus far.  wahooo.  small things.  I can handle that as I still feel good.  just no bi-weekly period.

hands-well I am sure it was the meds that actually woke me up but the throbbing finally made me sit up and pull out my computer at 4:30am.  they are currently working but poofy and the blood vessels on them are popped up like a body builder.  I laid with my eyes closed but awake for a half an hour contemplating whether I should keep trying to find out why they hurt of just deal with it as my little curse to bear forever more.  Goodness knows the pursuing didn't yield anything.

well I had better try at least a little more sleep-it is training day so I have an hour to exercise this morning and then a short day in the shop!

Update:  Dream on..no sleep here.  I am getting up at 7:12.  Sleepy time is definitely done for me tonight..this morning..err whatever.