Finally a Little Movement

This morning the scale provided me with a little gem..210.  I will take it.  This round is much more difficult than the first time.  It feels like each victory is so long in the making.

The newness of the medication is wearing off.  I am still having the forgetful issues but felt a whole lot less jittery yesterday and slept in until 8:55!  I was of course supposed to be with the trainer at 9.  I dashed out of bed and thankfully we met in the park across the street so I was just a few minutes late. I was not the chipper person I was on Wed.  but Martin made me jog! and do all sorts of painful things.  I managed almost half way around.  Given that I have never been a runner this was a bit of a victory for me.

After the workout I had a meeting with my store bookkeeper (I love her!  I am not an organized person and she is getting me in line).  We went over the books.  I grabbed some missing statements and invoices and then she, Grace and I went to the bank and packed up a box of wholesale yarn to deliver to a local yarn store.  After that the three of us went to my favorite yarn store (well ok second favorite now as I have to like my own best).  We also checked out a bead store and had lunch at a local coffee/cafe that I like.

Since I own a yarn store I do not get out as much as i would like to other stores.  It was nice to see what other people had, how they laid out their stores and look at their kits and samples.

I was pretty hungry yesterday still-Breakfast was a bottle of water, mango orange smoothie (with no banana).  Have I ever said how much I HATE a banana in a smoothie?  Luch a chicken, gorgonzola and apple salad (I ate the chicken and a few bits of apple and one piece of lettuce).  I had 1/3 of a ginger molasses cookie.  I had an evening group in the shop so I had 1/2 a glass of wine, 4 chocolate covered almonds, and 1/2 cup of rice pudding after I was finished then bed.

Hand hurt more than usual today.  Not enough to take an Alieve but they ached most of the afternoon.    I have been too busy to knit so not much of that has been happening.

A bit of a shift today.

Like yesterday I popped wide awake shortly after 5am today.  I did a little computer work and surfing.  I got out of bed and went to the coffee shop for my morning smoothie and then did some bank tagging (that tax deadline is looming and I do not have my ducks in a row yet).

at 9:45 I did a couple of errands in the neighborhood and as I was already hungry again had another smoothie.  Back to the store and I continued to work on the banking stuff and other paperwork between customers plus pick up things post yarn crawl.  The funny thing is..I was soon hungry again. This time at 1:30.  Grace left a half of a piece of pizza downstairs in the shop. I did not plan on eating it but the temptation was too great.  I ate it.  In the evening I had yet a third smoothie and at 8:30 closed the shop and had half a bean, cheese and sour cream burrito that grace made.

The funny thing is now at 10pm I am hungry again.  hmmm..

I was still pretty jittery today and forgetful.  A couple of times I walked from one room to the next and forgot what I was in the new room for.  I forgot numbers between the item and the register.  All a bit odd given that yesterday and the day before I felt so sharp and un-hungry.

The doctor said give it two weeks and two weeks I am going to keep going and see what happens.

I forgot to weigh myself this morning.  I will do it tonight and perhaps update.

Day 2

Day 2:

Holy moly not feeling hungry is CRAZYYYY.  Day two and I am still jaw seizing jittery.  I do rather like the energy as one commenter stated yesterday and I LOVE with double hearts that lack of hunger.  Today I had my morning smoothie and sipped water all day.  I just sat down to a couple of slices of cheese.  I was done with it before my band told me to.  Now:  Is this what the other people feel?  Is this what I have been missing?  Man o man I wish I could have that feeling all of the time.

The same post-er said that the feeling fades in a couple of weeks :(  I am not sure I am happy about this.

I worked out with the trainer guy I hired for my birthday.  He has been evicted from the garage he works at so we did our thing in the local park.  I will have him snap a photo on Friday so you can see what it looks like-and how I look like hell :).  We did a lot of work with the bands, some stair steps and this one move that I HATE where he had me stand on the band with both feet and then side walk pushing against the band.  My shoes kept getting stuck in the band and it was not fun.  Thankfully Martin (that is his name) changed things and let me do something else.  We finished up with crunches in the garage and a quick stretch and I was done.  I am hoping to rope a few other people in the neighborhood to share expenses with me so I can keep doing it twice a week.


I then dashed home to open the store.  I had a couple of packages to post.  Customers were filing in (this should not be happening as there should be post yarn crawl lull and Wednesdays are usually quiet).  I had a friend come in and there were times when both of us were needed to deal with customers.

I left my friend in the store and did a quick run to the mailman, the bank, accountant and ahhh a massage :)  I have been going once a week for about two months now (thankfully our insurance account covers it).  It has helped but not cured my hand problem.  Then it was back to the store more customers, more paperwork and then time to close.

I am now upstairs coercing my 13 year old to actually do the homework she is assigned..gah :) can I take a nap yet?

I will weigh tomorrow ...I hope its good news.

Endo-Hunger

Wow-

So much has happened in the last few days I am having trouble figuring out what order to write it down.  Add to this the fact that it is 4:51 in the morning and I am laying wide awake is probably not helping my brain organization.  Lets go back to Thursday.

Thursday:  The yarn crawl started off with a bang.  The store was packed and things were crazy busy but I took off on time to see the endocrinologist.  I took a little close your eyes nap in the waiting room while I waited a half an hour to get in to see him.  My expectations were rather small as 1.  I was too busy to read up on him ahead of time and 2.  I was still super annoyed at the scheduling snafu.  I was pleasantly surprised instead.  He first asked me why I was there...um  given my morning and my little waiting room nap...I was left speechless.  I pulled a poorly why don't you tell me what you do routine and he did the talking and questioning after that.

He went through the stuff that I know but always sinks  in my mind to a doubtful self-loathing when the weight is piling on and I know I have eaten things I shouldn't.

• Your obesity is 80% genetics
• we know that even when you do the right things, have surgery etc. your body fights to get back to the weight it thinks you should be at.

He also talked about new stuff they have learned in the last five years:

• Menopause is evil (he didn't say that but..he implied it)
• the hormonal drop screws with your weight gain.
• the hormonal drop causes weight gain on a woman's waistline (of course he had to wave his hand at my tubby waist every time he brought this up)

He said I had done incredibly well with my lap band

• he explained the results of the LABS study (in generalities) that I was a participant in and they were so bad that they were no longer installing lap bands at the hospital.
• he explained how some studies use the term %of weight loss but that term is the result of a specific formula.  the BMI weight expectations and then percent of the desired loss..as a side note: So one of the main studies I read before surgery said the average lap band patient loses 50% of excess weight.  he said this translated to 20% of body weight.  While I was there I took all this in but after thinking about it later it seems like the European study is a more reasonable way to look at it-sure I lost 50% of my body weight with the band but more importantly I hit goal or I lost 100% of the weight i wanted to lose.  Seems like that second number is more important but who the heck knows what those bariatric types prefer.  Right now I am sitting better than the European study average-50% of excess and I am at 90 lbs lost or 60% (Now don't get me wrong-I am not satisfied with this).

He went through what he could do for me and this blasted weight gain that is apparently the result of:  the unfill, my bodies desire to be a bouncing 300 pounds again and the dreaded peri-menopause girth gain.

•  He said that there are drugs..the cheapest is the one he started me on-half of the fen fen debacle is just fen :) don't ask me to spell there rest of the title.  
• He said the drugs work on my brain to stop telling me I am so hungry.
• He listed the side effects:  thirst, might feel like I have had 9 cups of coffee.  Might not be able to sleep.
• He said these side effects will get better after two weeks or so.
• I asked him what I should do if they were really bad-He said drop to a half a pill for a week and ramp up.

He said come see him in 3 months-I snorted at this-and then reminded him of the difficulties that he had in getting me an appointment in the first place.  He actually apologized for the debacle and said his staff dropped the ball.  I jokingly said I would probably see him in July.  He responded-well don't make an appointment at the beginning of the month as I will likely cancel it (he was joking but in a serious as a heart attack way).  

I left with my shiny prescription in tow and tried to make that appointment at the front desk..they said call as they could not make one.  I headed back to the zoo that was my store (a good zoo but a zoo). and kept that prescription in my pocket until Monday.  

Monday:  I called with a second attempt to make an appointment.  August is the soonest I can be seen (snort..I knew it).  The appointment taker said she would put me on a wait list for a cancellation.  If this guy isn't good (and he is looking good right now) he is definitely popular.

I filled the prescription at Walgreens and bought a pint of ice cream (my favorite peanut butter cup).  Why you might ask..because I am that stupid?  I think I had a very strong case of Last Supper syndrome.  I ate the ice cream last night and took my first pill this morning.

• It tastes VILE.  Like tylonol on steroids.  Thankfully the pills are tiny and I could wash it down whole and quickly.
• I am rather sensitive to medications and I felt it hit in about an hour.  slightly energized and a tiny bit nauseous. Definitely not hungry.
• The doctor said:  Do not eat unless you are really hungry. If that means you do want not eat all morning or afternoon than don't.  That is how these work.  I wasn't hungry!!
• I am still not really hungry but I figured that after I finished with my night group in the store that I should eat something so I had hubby make me an egg.  I ate 80% of the egg with cheese on it.  It was good.  I left the last bit not because my band said..hang on stop or your gonna pay.  I stopped because I just didn't want anymore of the darned egg (wahooooo).  How coolarific is that!

Ok..fast forward to 5:20 am.  Um..side effect has appeared.  I am wide awake sitting up in my dark room.  My husband is snoring and my jaw is tight-you know..one of those oh crap I should not have had that venti latte at 8:30pm feelings?  I had 0 caffeine today but...the jaw :) and my eyes are stuck in the open position.  I am also rather thirsty.  The good news is I brought a bottle of water to bed with me (for once in my life planning ahead).

soo..all the other junk screw it! :) I feel a positive phase of weight-loss coming on at least.  Just so I have a record somewhere (although I love the comments and the knowledge that someone out there reads this)  this blog is AWESOME as a record of all of my health junk.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have referenced it before an appointment so I get my dates right.  soo..I am going to do the health update.

menopause-the once every two week thing has delayed another week thus far.  wahooo.  small things.  I can handle that as I still feel good.  just no bi-weekly period.

hands-well I am sure it was the meds that actually woke me up but the throbbing finally made me sit up and pull out my computer at 4:30am.  they are currently working but poofy and the blood vessels on them are popped up like a body builder.  I laid with my eyes closed but awake for a half an hour contemplating whether I should keep trying to find out why they hurt of just deal with it as my little curse to bear forever more.  Goodness knows the pursuing didn't yield anything.

well I had better try at least a little more sleep-it is training day so I have an hour to exercise this morning and then a short day in the shop!

Update:  Dream on..no sleep here.  I am getting up at 7:12.  Sleepy time is definitely done for me tonight..this morning..err whatever.

Photos? what photos?

Valentines day is my birthday too.  That makes a high bar for my husband to reach.  On the other hand he has no excuse to forget either my birthday or valentines day. :)  Well this year I switched a tables on him a bit.  He booked a table at a nice restaurant downtown (http://higginsportland.com).  I on the other hand had plans of my own.two summers ago David lost his wedding ring.  He lost some weight but failed to get his rings resized and vavoom his wedding ring fell off never to be found.  Well I found an exact replacement a few months ago and the plan was to take him downtown and order the thing (with proper sizing this time).  We did and he is now wearing his proper wedding ring and not the nasty old thing we used as a replacement until now.

As he did not find any birthday presents for me (lets face it I already own all of the yarn I need and I do not want to buy clothes because I have my favorite size 10 wardrobe just waiting for me in my closet upstairs).  He planned on wandering around the shops and getting some inspiration with me along.  We ended up buying him a pair of shoes.  I didn't find anything I fancied.  Honestly the trainer is costing a pretty bundle and it is the right gift for me-a bit of health right?

We had dinner at Higgins (it was OK but more of a carnivores kind of place-again David was in heaven).  So..my birthday turned into a bit of a romantic day for the hubby and I am totally OK with that.

I have not yet gotten another fill.  The hospital apparently made me an appointment but didn't ever call to tell me they did so..thus I missed it on Feb 13?  Who knew?  I called them and said I would definitely not be paying for that one.  I also had a long awaited endocrinologists appointment that my nurse practicioner recommended.  I made it in Jan for the first part of march (yes his waiting list is that long).  Two days before the appointment I had a confirmation call.  Then at 6pm the night before the appointment I got a call stating that my appointment was cancelled and that they had tried to call me in Jan to reschedule--uh..nope no phone call.  I called them back and was not a happy camper.  They said the next available appt. was in JULY!

I forcefully-while bawling-told the poor receptionist that this was recommended by the doctors colleague and that as 'you' were the one to cancel and now I have to wait another 5 months I don't think that is reasonable..etc.  They called back and got me in for tomorrow at noon.

Now get this..once a year in the yarn shop we have this big event.  4 days out of the entire year and all 16 yarn stores put on a special weekend with trunk shows and sales and special designs etc.  Well guess what tomorrow is?  you guessed it the first day of that special.  Thankfully I have REALLY awesome customers/friends/helpers who happened to be in the car when I got the phone call.  They both told me to keep the appointment and they would man the store along with the other umpteen volunteers and my hubby and artists and that I should go to the appointment.  I hope all goes well both at the doctors and in the shop.  I really have no idea what I am in for.

 The yarn store is all gussied up for the Rose City Yarn Crawl event-Here are a few photos.

The front wall-We call it the wall of shawls. On the right is the wall of hats.

That back room-this is where the trunk shows are set up/partially set up for tomorrow-Sun.

Update on the training stuff:  I am getting stronger the first couple of weeks were painful..i could barely walk.  Now I am a little sore the day of my training session but the next day I am fine again.  We worked on my back today.  Apparently I have decently strong legs and arms and abdomon but my back is really weak.  Perhaps this is from all of those months where I spent most of my evenings in bed last year? Again back to the hands-as that is my barometer of health.  They still ache.  I have been going to a massage therapist who seems to make a difference.  They are not nearly as much of a problem unless i try to open bottles/jars.  and comb my hair when it is wet.  I can again pinch my laptop and put it down on the floor :)  My rings fit off an on now too.