Little By Little...Step by Step

Its funny how the lessons one learns fade away at times and need to be relearned only to fade again.  My little quest to regain control of the scale is still on.  This weeks epiphany is...big changes kind of fail. Little ones changed progressively seem to work better (at least for me).

You all know abut my long and failed relationship saga with Starbucks.  My goal over the last week or so has been to back off not quit the coffee habit and increase the food related calories cause lets face it there have been days where most of my calories came from a stupid frappaccino.

so..Here is a reporting of a very (I think) successful weaning (not off just a step away mind you).

Last week I down-sized from two venti frapps a day to 2 grandes.  I did not feel any pain.  In fact the coincidental alignment with the return of my long lost period made it so I would have been too tight to drink something as big as a venti anyway.

Yesterday was round two of the cut backs.  The whipped cream on top is off the menu.  Now I have been very scared to look at the calories I have been ingesting ala Starbucks but now..now is the time to compare.  OHHHHH MYYYYYY GGGGG (yes that was a real time search and reaction..eek)

I checked...Calories of old: 540
Grande with whip: 420
Grande without the whip: 290
Tall will by 230.

I just cut my calories in half from those things.  hanging my head in shame.  Coffee milkshake drinks are evil.  This weekend I am moving to tall in the morning and an orange drink in the afternoon.  A Trenta sized one of those drinks is just 170.


The result has been good.  My ticker is almost truthful again.  The scale hit as high as 182.  This morning I was 177.

The Good the Bad and Hormones

I thought I had finally found menopause.

I rather liked it.

Everyday the same mood-Not always great but not the highs and lows of myself pre-meno.  No pads, no worries that I would have embarrassing 'accident' on that heavy day.  Now worries that i would run out of pads at an inopportune moment.  No 'difficult laundry'.  No gauging what day should I stay home because of high volume 'flo'.

The downside however was that with no water gain I didn't have a tightening and loosening of my ban during the month.  I managed to get really good at judging, sliding and otherwise maximizing my calorie intake with the restriction in place.  With the ebb and flo of hormones I retain water in strange and mostly a pain-in-the-ass-like way.  boobs, swell, ankles swell, I get tense and irratable (who wouldn't sloshing around an extra 3-5 pounds of water).  Even post-band I noticed my belly bloats (in a crazy and noticeable way).

but...that restriction....

So I had 6 glorious months of menopause.  I like it mostly.  I didn't like the creeping scale.  Not all of my weight gain is due to menopause but some of it definitely is.  I have now had two months of fertility revisited-out of menopause and back to normal womanly monthlies.  Mostly this sucks.  but a my little and significant silver lining is the band tightening that water retention brings.

I am tight..and although the recent stuck episodes (I have had a few) and a meal or three where I had a drink and discovered dinner was not going to happen were pain in the arse.  I mostly consider this a silver lining.  Hello again 170's I hope to see all of you.  Especially if I have to put up with all of this other hormonal crap.

I feel like one of these right now...

Did I Really Say That?

Drinking...ahem the calories.  Today my favorite girl machine-the scale-presented me with 178 :) I do like-y.

Food: grande frapp.  for breakfast
Lunch: One cheese-y omelet ala David.
Mid Afternoon: one grande frapp.

One Pimms Cocktail.
one hot chocolate and rumpleminz.

Dinner: 1/3 burger, 4 fries.  (these got stuck and returned about half).

The drinks came before dinner as we had 40 minutes to wait until happy hour...I have no business eating food after 8pm...I did it anyway.


Drink much?  :(

It is midnight and my tummy still hurts.  Oh..the stupidity.  I wonder if tomorrow's scale will be so kind.

It Is All About Eating Food

Well hit my up side the head with a 2x4 guess what?  When you drink your calories you don't lose weight!  When you drink your calories you gain weight.  Duh...but have I learned this enough to not do it.  Why of course not.

Today-More food down the hatch.  My precious frapp: (I had a free one and a girl can't pass up free can she?).  Shared an egg sandwhich with Grace (yes a splart of mayo).  I had the egg late so I wasn't hungry at lunch.  At 3:30 I had another Frapp.  and an oatmeal cookie (The Starbucks baked good suck now by the way..Bleh).  and then...way until 10pm I had a tiny tiny plate of nachos (8 chips, 1oz cheddar and one splart of sour cream).  Not a great day food-wise but there is more.......


Last night David made me go play Ingress (forever after this call the stupid game as we do around the house).  We did this get a group of people together to mark portals (landmarks) in our team colors and make them all at a high level.  Anyway..the point is.  This involved bucket loads of walking.  MIles and miles of walking.

The scale this morning in payment for my good behavior was...down to 179.0  I have been rolling as high as 184 and dipping to just above 180 for about a year now.  This 179.0 is grand.  I like this new tighter band and my better behaved self.  Fingers crossed I can keep it up!!  I want to see 170 again.

xxoo

view from my buggy windshield.  Driving along the Columbia River Gorge into the sun.