I was up all last night trying to dislodge dinner and suffered from night three of acid reflux. I am really, really over this amount of fill. Geez as some have said to me...."unlike you Tina..we eat"...I have been willing to sacrifice a heck of a lot for sitting with my weight at goal. I eat very little but when a girl can't even keep her coffee down at breakfast somethings gotta give.
Although it might seem like I barf a lot I really don't. Perhaps three or so times a month when I do stupid stuff and am in the throes of tightness on the run up to my period. After a great week of just the right amount of tightness I have come to the conclusion that this perfect for a week and tight for three is just not going to cut it anymore. It is time I stepped up and did some of my own work (eek I am scaring myself even typing this)...see even after a year at goal the old insecurity is there. Can I control this beast or has the band been doing it for me....My appointment is at 10 am tomorrow morning. Today it is all liquids I am afraid and I'm not sure even those are going to go down easy.
I have a math final tonight (and I cannot wait for the class to be over!!!). My head has just not been in the game and the instructor has not been very good. He has been nice enough but is crap at teaching stuff (I know I am a tough audience). Soooo anyhow...my test is tonight and I really don't even care much how well I do...and that is just not my normal self.
I just want to knit and eat again :)
xxxooo
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
4 comments:
Oh Tina...I am so sorry you are going through this! Glad that you are going for a small unfill....its not worth being tight and having reflux. So dangerous.
Also, I've been wanting to tell you, you have given me the knitting bug. I've been a crocheter forever but have learned how to knit and now everyone is getting scarves for Christmas! In fact, I just learned how to make an infinity scarf and they will be fighting over that one!
Feel better and let me know how the unfill works out for you!
You poor thing, definitely not worth it for one week of good! Hope you feel better real soon!
eating and knitting ... sounds good :) hope you are more comfy soon !
Sorry things have been rough for you. But, I am so relieved to hear about your decision for a small un-fill. Hope you are feeling better soon!
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