Holy Cow--We finally Signed.

A notary came by our house tonight (yep-someone does house calls). She brought all of the paperwork and we finally have our 6 month waiting forever to close house. Now my mind is churning with ideas and stuff and wondering what we will be able to do first. What we need to pack. What we need to get rid of of. What we should have sorted in the last six months and did not....eek ;0)

My weight went up a touch more...T-2 and counting of devil may care-itis then it is back on track for this girl. My clothes seem to be a touch tighter and a bit of a belly bump has returned (not that I didn't still have one from my skin sag anyway). My energy level is MUCH better.

David is sick. He seems to be having a rerun of his bladder/kidney deal from last year. Thankfully this time we caught it early and he is back on antibiotics before his fever got too high and I had to take him into hospital. He seems to not be feeling good while I am feeling better (perhaps there is only so much feel good our house can handle?)...that is a kidding dry humor kind or sarcastic comment in case you didn't catch it.

I might be here and then again I might not..depends on how crazy the moving gets.

xxxooo

Post Christmas Weight Gain

Wowza a little unfill has been fun but as with all things fun there is a price to be paid. I have been able to eat much more than I could at the .2 tighter fill level. I am pretty sure this is a good thing. I know I feel a whole lot better. I am definitely feeling ahead of where I was last year at this time.

Good stuff: I can eat meals out without mentally getting a fix on where the bathroom is and carefully thinking through whether I will be able to drink the water or have a drink before my meal. I still have to stop eating at the designated 1/2 cup but I can take things slowly and have a little wiggle room with a bite or two above that level. I can eat steak again!!! I can eat fruit and vegetables much more easily.

Not Good: I have not changed some of my more calorific habits-like the big frappacino and some of the desserts that I was able to slip past my band and get away with because of the only little amounts of meals. It is Christmas time and there are many sweets to choose from and misbehave with. I have gained back up to 167. I can feel this weight gain in my jeans.

The plan: The good far outweighs the not good. I am going to roll with this and improve my actions in the new year. The game plan is to hit David's diet plan hard. His plan is really not far off the band rules really. high protein, fruits and vegetables. Avoiding grain and grain products and sugar. I still have a few more days of fun and I am going to enjoy them to the fullest before I cut down on my precious peppermint syrup. I think I will be allowed the sugar free version if I can stand it.

So how has your eating been over the holidays? What are your plans for the New Year? Where are you in this weight loss journey. For so long my year end reflections of past were rarely ever realized and now I make steady progress that can be marked from year to year. I am sure the band is deserves part of the credit but I think this blog, the blog community support and a readjustment of my thinking all contribute.

Happy almost New Year everyone!

xxxooo

Settling In:

Ok..yesterday was sublime. Pills and coffee for breakfast. a one egg omlet for lunch with a sprinkling of cheese. Dinner was a 2 inch ground chicken and beef meatball with quinoa and egg mixed in to hold the meat together. There was also some grated zucchini in there. I had a small pile of salad, 3 cooked carrot slices and a piece of broccoli. While I cooked dinner I ate a few raw carrot slices. I made a home made balsamic vinaigrette dressing to go on the salad and had a 2 inch round of crispy bread with cheese sprinkled on top. I had my whole family over (11) so bought a cheesecake at Costco and I did have a slice of that for dessert.

Although I wanted to have a glass badly I skipped the predinner wine (just not worth risking a repeat of last night) but I have my lovely screwtop Fantasia wine sitting in the fridge for later (much later) today if I fancy some.

The best part is that with this little unfill I am sitting two pounds lower than I was when it was tight. Imagine that..you can actually get a tiny unfill and drop a couple of pounds. I will still have to be vigilant and make the right food choices but today...this new unfill level is good. not too tight, not too loose..but JUST RIGHT :)

xxxooo

Holy Moly The Tights Returneth

Today was a touch manic and I am hoping todays tightness was a result of that or just some time of the month pre-tightening thing. I should have taken a clue when I had my morning coffee and was still full at lunchtime. I had a second coffee (and yes I know I should have had some solid protein at this point but...(Because Linda and Theresa are totally on target I think with their advice).

1. I had to get David's birthday presents.
2. My parents arrived in town with no prior notice
3. My cousin came into town
4. My uncle needed a visit
5. All shopping had to happen before 2:45 pm when Grace came home from school.
6. The hospital visit had to happen after 3pm and before 5:15 pm
7. We had a dinner reservation for David's birthday at 6pm.
8. I really wanted one..and didn't want any food.

I accomplished the shopping in the given window. I picked up Grace just as she got off the bus. We grabbed our coffee and her after school snack at Starbucks. I also purchased a banana. I drank on our drive to the hospital and then during the visit ate 1/2 the banana (thank goodness for my stash of Ziploc bags. They hold a half a banana leftover beautifully.

At 5:15 we launched into the traffic and headed towards home and our wonderful area foody restaurant (Hall Street Grill). They have employed a new chef and he is....AWESOME. I had a small salad, half a serving of Rockfish with capers, onions and a balsamic reduction (it was delish). Grace and David had dessert that I sampled. Graces Orange cheesecake with apricot reduction and caramel sauce was the single most delicious desert I have ever had in my LIFE!!!

Ok now to the tricky part:

I have had trouble before the unfill with drinking alcoholic beverages. I thought it was the vodka, then I thought it might be the orange juice. Tonight with my fresh unfill I decided to give a pre-dinner drink a try. I had a warm apple cider drink (with rum and brandy). It went down smoothly. I thought dinner was going along just fine until I got in the car (offering up a second thank goodness for my stach of Ziplock bags!). It appears that I still cannot drink a pre-dinner drink. My next strategy is to try drinking a full 30 minutes before the meal. If that doesn't work...and I cannot believe I am going to type this....I will have to become one of those alcohol free people.

Yes you read it correctly...I will not give up coffee or food for thin-ness but I am willing to give up the sauce. :)

Ok...if you are susceptible to food porn look away now. I have included a picture of the best dessert ever invented. I am now scheming on how I can recreate the thing in my own kitchen.



The description from Hall Street Grill:

Foie Gras and Orange “Cheesecake” foie gras and cream cheese panna cotta, shortbread crust, apricot compote, caramel. It is rich, sweet and flavorful. I also melts on your tongue.

So That is What Eating Is For Others?

Ok that is a bit of an exaggeration but holy moly can I eat and have I been hungry. I have frankly steered clear of the iron pill for the last couple days (after the almost stuck thing). My other drugs go down OK.

Breakfast is still pills and venti Peppermint Mocha Frap. I eat more lunch and I am hungry for it now. Today it was a spinach salad, whole boiled egg, generous tablespoon of cottage sliced carrots and a slice of cucumber plus a little parm. cheese sprinkled on. I swapped my afternoon venti peppermint mocha frap for a tall skim one and now I am like a heat seeking missile for some dinner....

I am skeered of the weight gain. I lost 4 pounds on the day I couldn't eat. Since the unfill I gained a pound each day for two days in a row. I know this is normal but was still a tad freakish. Today the weight gain stabilized stopping at a lovely 162.6. I am hoping I can keep this white-nuckled grip on my weight for the long term.

xxxooo

Weird Retightening and the Polar Express

Now here is weirdness. I got up early and Grant (my grandson) and I walked in the freezing cold weather for a morning cuppa coffee. I had my venti peppermint mocha frapachino and it was good. Grant packed along a ziplock bag of lego guys and lego bikes/skateboard to play with while I drank down the coffee and took my meds (and yes still on the daily regime..except for the Tuesday fiasco). I sat and did the drinking and pill taking slower than yesterday but still the iron pill did not go down nearly as smoothly. I got it down in the end but there were a few dicey moments during our walk from Starbucks to the Grocery store when I felt awfully close to launching that final pill back out again.

Tonight we are going to take Grace and Grant to a special Christmas train ride they have at Hood River. We get to ride on a train and they will read the Polar Express story and serve hot chocolate. We will leave right after school and be home late. Grant is spending today with me and will spend tonight as well.

xxxooo

Day 2 Post unfill-

I forgot to weight myself this morning (Oh man...am I sliding down the slippery slope already?). :)..

I had my morning coffee and pills went down a treat as they did yesterday.

I lunched on a cheese box from Starbucks at 2:00 pm. I ate all of the cheese, three of the crackers and one apple slice. I saved one cracker, the almonds, cranberries and remaining apple slices for later. I ate them at around 4pm.

When my at around 5:30 I had two bites of a fresh carrot and two big bites of a tasty apple. These tasted so good.

For dinner-we were at Costco. I had a couple of samples and 1/2 a hotdog.

Evening-A skim peppermint mocha frap.

Ok...I'm still kind of hungry. I think I might have to start thinking more about bulk foods again. The fruit and veg was great. The hotdog not so much. I am still enjoying the ease in which I can get my pills and food down but I am worried about the ease in which I can get FOOD down :)


So far OK...

Uncle:

My uncle is still in the hospital and had another drain tube but in today. Two weeks ago they moved him out of ICU onto a regular ward. The problem is we got too used to the on the spot care he received in ICU. The standards are MUCH lower where he is now. My aunt is killing herself doing so much of the work the nurses should be doing. The physical therapists only come in sporadically and no one bathes him except my aunt. Last night his feeding tube ran empty for ages and we finally had to tell them it was empty. I am not sure if the problem is that the nurses are overworked with 4 patients to one nurse or if they are just not managed well or what.

We have been told he will be moved to a rehabilitation facility and we went and checked it out the other day. One of the nurse managers explained their rehab organization and plan to us and showed us around the facility. She was very nice and the place was pretty impressive. It does mean that she will be further away from my house but still a reasonable distance.

The Never Closing House:

The paperwork is going but the bank says that we have to start from scratch on our loan again and things will not close for 30 days. I guess we can go get a tree and decorate here. We will be in the rental for christmas. I did walk through it again yesterday. It is still what I want to live in. I love it and can't wait to get the move going.

xxxooo

Post Unfill and Post Dinner Update-

It is absolutely amazing what a little food and drink does to one's attitude. I am SO much more comfortable. I had a salad, a bite of coleslaw, pan fried fish and three french-fries. I have to say that the salad was by far the best of the evening. I also drank my water and even though it had ice in it went down smoothly right before the food came.

Soo..the big lessons thus far:

over-restriction can sneak up on you. First you stop eating salad, then you stop drinking water before a meal but none of these things hit all and once. I just gradually restricted myself more and more in order to 'keep the peace' of my goal weight. I did after all get bread back on my menu and who was I to consider the ability to eat bread as too tight. Over time one by one these little things added up to lots of coffee and little food. Even then I carried on but when I would be ravenous in the evenings and then suffer from acid reflux all night I finally had the last straw and went in to address the problem.

So this unfill is providing me with a little reality check. Does an expanded diet of good for me foods out-weight my internal drive to feed myself and my stomach space. The Nurse practitioner felt that it was unusual for someone who had been at my level of restriction for so long to come in and ask for an unfill. It had been 9 months since my last unfill and a year since my last fill.

I am a tad scared but I am going to give this looser restriction a good try. I am really going to have to think through what I eat and when now. If I can eat more at my meals I think some of the morning and afternoon coffee is going to have to shrink while my meals are going to have to grow vegetables :) Wish my luck! I know I told the nurse practitioner that doing this right before Christmas scared the bejeebies out of me.

Well...I am sitting here at 10:30 and kind of hungry. I want to go eat something but I do not want to go to bed with food in my stomach. I am hoping that tonight I get an acid reflux free sleep.

Oh What a Difference 0.20 ML Makes.

My appointment was wonderful!! We talked it over and the nurse practitioner was a little hesitant to take just a little out (in the end 0.2 ml) but she listened to my wishes. I love it that both my surgeon and this NP are great like that. She was really concerned about the acid reflux and agreed that my stoma might be irritated. She pulled out all of my fluid and sat me up (with needle in port) to swallow down two cups of water. Man it felt good to gulp again. She did this to make sure any debris that might being hanging around in my pouch or even in the stoma itself would wash through. She then refilled me to 7.6 ml just .2 less than before the visit.

i feel SO much better. So far I have stuck to liquids but just taking my pills with a post unfill coffee was heaven compared to before the unfill.

Yesterday was pure hell by the way. I had a morning coffee but spend the remainder of the day barfing up that coffee plus whatever dinner had not already beed unstuck the night before. It was not pleasant and not a good place to be while studying for a math final. I did not do very well on said final but will probably take the class over again someday to get the knowledge into my head.

Did I say I was feeling MUCH better? :) I am looking forward to dinner :)...Hopefully I will be able to eat a bit but not suffer anymore :)

xxxooo

Unfill Appointment Made-and Hell Night

I was up all last night trying to dislodge dinner and suffered from night three of acid reflux. I am really, really over this amount of fill. Geez as some have said to me...."unlike you Tina..we eat"...I have been willing to sacrifice a heck of a lot for sitting with my weight at goal. I eat very little but when a girl can't even keep her coffee down at breakfast somethings gotta give.

Although it might seem like I barf a lot I really don't. Perhaps three or so times a month when I do stupid stuff and am in the throes of tightness on the run up to my period. After a great week of just the right amount of tightness I have come to the conclusion that this perfect for a week and tight for three is just not going to cut it anymore. It is time I stepped up and did some of my own work (eek I am scaring myself even typing this)...see even after a year at goal the old insecurity is there. Can I control this beast or has the band been doing it for me....My appointment is at 10 am tomorrow morning. Today it is all liquids I am afraid and I'm not sure even those are going to go down easy.

I have a math final tonight (and I cannot wait for the class to be over!!!). My head has just not been in the game and the instructor has not been very good. He has been nice enough but is crap at teaching stuff (I know I am a tough audience). Soooo anyhow...my test is tonight and I really don't even care much how well I do...and that is just not my normal self.

I just want to knit and eat again :)

xxxooo

Unfill Decision Made

After a week of perfect restriction I have had two nights of horrendous acid reflux and the tights. I am calling tomorrow to get a tiny unfill. I will check back in when the deed is done...wish me luck and the self control I will probably need to stop from growing out of my lovely clothes.....nail-biting going on as I type..OK between types.

xxxooo