Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Am I psycho?

so yesterday I did part one of two visits to to a psychologist or psychiatrist (not sure which she is-she is a Ph.D. on her card). It was ok. Now im not a hater :) as my 18 year old daughter would say but can someone please explain to me what the implications are for a psych professional who spends all day with her dog in the office? Im sure old Sigmund would have a field day :). Is it a deep sense of lonliness and inability to spend time all alone? does the dog not deal well alone? I have to say it is a tad annoying as I am not a dog person myself. I dont have a personal hatred of the canine species but i would prefer that my hand remain unlicked and bits unsniffed when I am in a place of business.

so back to business-she asked me to tell her my 'fat' story. She didnt say those words I put her longer more sensitive question into the nutshell. So I went through the whole i was always big. Mom sewed my clothes because there weren't any that fit right or Husky sizes were too expensive. Of course I wasnt all that big looking at the pictures today but like most people my personal fat feeling was well in place quite early on. Soooo the medium chubby slightly overweight child hit adolescence and remained chubby until adulthood when I met a man and blossomed into a bit chubbier adult. Finally drum roll-the children and nursing F***** up my weight in a big way (or weigh) as the case may be. I went through my dieting history-the unhealthy high school starvation diet. Weightwatchers times 3, high protein yada yada yada. Then talked about my most recent diet. Again it was weightwatchers with a very successful friend who exercised her butt off and worked the program to a loss of 90 pounds. I lost a respectable 44 and stopped dead, gaining about 10 back before I gave up after more than 2 years of trying. Part of it was my sad ability to work the program while the other half was my inability to resist the deeeeeeep hunger that devleoped over the period of time. At one point i felt like-oh my I am going to use a dog comparison maybe I am all wrong about the psych lady :)-Those starving dogs who sit next to your table watching each morsel as it is carried to your mouth and then drooling all over the carpet. Well that was me. I craved foood, any food and i lost it sliding back to my high school crazy days of binge eating.

Ok so after the first meeting she wrote as I talked. In two weeks I will take some sort of a survey that they give to weight loss surgery patients that will either reveal my dieting and eating profile or allow me to pass onto the the long awaited big daddy appointment with his highness the drum rolllllll please.... surgeon. My big worry is after all of this the great and mightly OZ will say....holy crap what if he is behind the curtain! :) ahahahahah.

Getting a grip now- that the OZ will say..whoops sorry you failed the Upper GI or your insurance coverage changed in the last 3 months and you no longer qualify , or you dont qualify for lapband but we have this nice liquid protein diet you can try....the list goes on.

of course I would like to think that I would have a hissy fit if this happens, stand up for myself and demand that they treat patients with more respect and kindness and that they should have never let the tests continue if I was no longer qualified. However I know my real response would be blubbering bawl fest with red nose and puffy eyes even though I was really mad as Hell.

1 comment:

Bunny - Follow me on the road to Bint-ness! said...

Hiya Tina, Thanks for your message. I dont have your email address, so I have left a large post on my blog just for you :o)
www.weightloss-expedition.blogspot.com Hope it helps.
Bunny