Well when the scale finally shows movement silly old problems like not being able to use your hands (good in the afternoon positively dire at night and morning) don't really matter. Just call me T-Rex baby :) roooar.
From 222 to 215 this week. I shall return my lovely wardrobe in the closet.
http://trextrying.tumblr.com/image/78244065222
xxxooo
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Backslide
I feel better. In fact there was a day or two this month where I could really say I felt great. Sure my hands still hurt but I had a sense of well-being that I had not felt in a long time. A spring in my step so to speak.
Well..I guess that was the estrogen. Funny how hormones work. Mine came back full force and it felt good until..the period started. 4 days and counting. I am not sure if this is going to be another long term problem or not. I have an ominous feeling but and trying to stay calm. In the mean time I cracked out the iron tablets again.
I went in after the latest set of blood tests and...Nothing...She only found that I have very young (aka immature) blood cells. Via the docs translation and the webs I seem to be bleeding somewhere or something is damaging my adult blood cells. Of course this does not seem to be a solution as to why my hands hurt but hey..I should be used to that right?
Now onto the hands..they go up and down. last week I had two days where the damn things were darned near useless. I have manage to figure out how to knit but I cannot open bottles, pull up my comforter at night, get up if sitting ton the floor..anything that requires a pull or push with the hands.
Thursday was a great day hand wise so I rearranged my shop (with lots of help) and I thought I was going to pay the price for that little stunt..but nope. The hands have been pretty good all weekend. Just a little stiffness in the mornings and then find most of the day. They feel pretty good right now except right on my middle knuckles (just a little stiff when I bend them).
Weight-hasn't moved much. I hover at 219. Some of it is my stupidity and eating stuff I should not but..I do miss that not hungry feeling that seems to have deserted me. It is a huge battle not to eat right before bed right now as I am hungry-want the food-but then pay the acidy price if I do. Rather frustrating!
Next on the list in my medical mystery tour is: colonoscopy (damn damn damn), and she said something about an nerve electricity test.
Well..I guess that was the estrogen. Funny how hormones work. Mine came back full force and it felt good until..the period started. 4 days and counting. I am not sure if this is going to be another long term problem or not. I have an ominous feeling but and trying to stay calm. In the mean time I cracked out the iron tablets again.
I went in after the latest set of blood tests and...Nothing...She only found that I have very young (aka immature) blood cells. Via the docs translation and the webs I seem to be bleeding somewhere or something is damaging my adult blood cells. Of course this does not seem to be a solution as to why my hands hurt but hey..I should be used to that right?
Now onto the hands..they go up and down. last week I had two days where the damn things were darned near useless. I have manage to figure out how to knit but I cannot open bottles, pull up my comforter at night, get up if sitting ton the floor..anything that requires a pull or push with the hands.
Thursday was a great day hand wise so I rearranged my shop (with lots of help) and I thought I was going to pay the price for that little stunt..but nope. The hands have been pretty good all weekend. Just a little stiffness in the mornings and then find most of the day. They feel pretty good right now except right on my middle knuckles (just a little stiff when I bend them).
Weight-hasn't moved much. I hover at 219. Some of it is my stupidity and eating stuff I should not but..I do miss that not hungry feeling that seems to have deserted me. It is a huge battle not to eat right before bed right now as I am hungry-want the food-but then pay the acidy price if I do. Rather frustrating!
Next on the list in my medical mystery tour is: colonoscopy (damn damn damn), and she said something about an nerve electricity test.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Just Another Day
And we come up towards the end of 2014. Time really does fly doesn't it? How many years has it been since I installed what my friends call this 'after market add on?" How many years have I been a mother? How many years since the weekend I met a bunch of crazy lap band ladies in Chicago? How many years?
This year has been a struggle health-wise. One of the benefits of running a yarn store is all of the ladies who come in. They come in all shapes, forms ages and personalities and overall this diversity makes me grateful for my life. Some are suffering some have already been through this hell that my menopause has become for me. They are supportive and sometimes trying :) but overall wonderful to know and learn from.
I went in for another run at blood tests. My records have all been sent to the new primary care doctor. Fingers crossed something changes for 2015 health wise.
In the mean time I plan on re-attacking my health in the ways I do have some control over. Eating right, vitamins, exercise. Bring it on.
xxoo
This year has been a struggle health-wise. One of the benefits of running a yarn store is all of the ladies who come in. They come in all shapes, forms ages and personalities and overall this diversity makes me grateful for my life. Some are suffering some have already been through this hell that my menopause has become for me. They are supportive and sometimes trying :) but overall wonderful to know and learn from.
I went in for another run at blood tests. My records have all been sent to the new primary care doctor. Fingers crossed something changes for 2015 health wise.
In the mean time I plan on re-attacking my health in the ways I do have some control over. Eating right, vitamins, exercise. Bring it on.
xxoo
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
A big catch up-Problems but better.
I like lists so this is coming as a list:
1. I have had several once every two week fills. I am up to somewhere around 8cc's again. Finally this last one I have real restriction again and the scale has stopped its upwards spiral and has turned down again. I have been here before and had it all fade away in a couple of weeks but..my top weight was 222 at my last visit. I am as of today down to 218. This regain SUCKS and no matter how good I feel like I am being with the food the weight has come on. I am assuming that just one or two bites different per meal has meant the difference in daily calories.
With this new fill I am finally back to feeling very little hunger. I had my morning coffee yesterday (and it has been WAYY scaled back to a late with coconut milk) and felt no hunger until 2pm. Can I hear a whoopppp whoop! :) I had a small yogurt and a small dinner (plain old beef and one slice of cheese) and I was good for the rest of the evening.
2. I have had an iron infusion, a B-12 shot and am finally feeling energetic again. No periods so apparently the menopause is (cross your fingers) complete. Now I am battling the hand pain and weakness only. I have had two massages. The second one with a new guy helped a whole bunch! I had a day with just a small amount of hand pain and I took no pain meds all day. I could not get back into this particular massage therapist until after Christmas so I have to sit out and wait now. I finally called again because I developed this back pain that felt like my head was being pulled down into my shoulder. I do not know if the back thing is causing the hand thing or the hand thing has caused the back thing or if they are unrelated. In either case the result was totally worth it.
3. I had some questions about the nature of the pain-my hands are mostly painful at night. I wake up and they throb with my finger joints swelled up and painful to bend. During the day my finger joints loosen up but the pain moves into my wrists. I cannot open most jars or bottles and I cannot use my hands to pull up or push up when I get in and out of chairs. Shaking hands with someone is sometimes agonizing. So much so that I sometimes just have to say no..I cannot. I have changed how I brush my hair holding the brush and moving my whole arm. Hence my question as to whether the hands caused the back pain or vice-versa.
4. I went to a rheumatologist about the hand pain. He did all of the blood tests gave me a different 750mg NSAID drug that had little effect. It worked no better really than the aleive. He took blood. When i did the 30 day follow up visit (I hate the f-ing waiting by the way). nothing really had changed and he found nothing in the blood work. I was so annoyed..it feels like at times that doctors are lazy or they are just not as good as I build them up to be. If there is nothing in a blood test they have no f-ing clue and send you away for another waiting period. This time he said go home take your alieve for 2 months and come back. I so wanted to tell him where to shove it.
5. I have changed General doctors. She is my neighbor and I have up until how held off changing my medical care to a person I drink/socialize with. We had a Christmas party and had a chat about the medical thing (yeah I know we had one of those get treatment advice for free conversations!) I hate it when that happens-policemen always get the I hate cops and I had this bastard give me a ticket. Doctors get the I have this pain and math teachers get the traumatic math story. Well..I did that..(shaking my head in shame). Well...anyhow she said to come in and that it was ridiculous that I should just put up with the pain and there must be something. A few days later she then walked up to me at the bar ( our neighboring watering hold and social center) and grabbed my back and said..you are wayyy tight. (I could tell she was working on the problem even after hours). Well..I have come to the conclusion that I want a doctor that is invested enough in my health to think about it beyond the 5 minutes I am sitting in her office. So I changed.
6. A doc left a message on this blog about a Thiamine deficiency after my previous post. I will ask or check out my blood stats and see.
7. Yarn shop--has been Busy! I have two employees now and sub out payroll and taxes to a accountant firm. I am also getting a volunteer bookkeeper (thank goodness for nice knitters) for next year to help me organize myself.
8. Oh..on the health front again--The iron and B-12 shots helped but slowly. I felt somewhat better right away but last night for the first time in a long time I really felt great. Sure my hands hurt but I have my energy back and that spring in my step that I developed when the weight came off came back last night. I was beginning to despair that this had all gone down the tubes and I was just going to be an old tired old lady. I think there is a little life in here yet ;)
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good New Year and all that :)
xxoo
1. I have had several once every two week fills. I am up to somewhere around 8cc's again. Finally this last one I have real restriction again and the scale has stopped its upwards spiral and has turned down again. I have been here before and had it all fade away in a couple of weeks but..my top weight was 222 at my last visit. I am as of today down to 218. This regain SUCKS and no matter how good I feel like I am being with the food the weight has come on. I am assuming that just one or two bites different per meal has meant the difference in daily calories.
With this new fill I am finally back to feeling very little hunger. I had my morning coffee yesterday (and it has been WAYY scaled back to a late with coconut milk) and felt no hunger until 2pm. Can I hear a whoopppp whoop! :) I had a small yogurt and a small dinner (plain old beef and one slice of cheese) and I was good for the rest of the evening.
2. I have had an iron infusion, a B-12 shot and am finally feeling energetic again. No periods so apparently the menopause is (cross your fingers) complete. Now I am battling the hand pain and weakness only. I have had two massages. The second one with a new guy helped a whole bunch! I had a day with just a small amount of hand pain and I took no pain meds all day. I could not get back into this particular massage therapist until after Christmas so I have to sit out and wait now. I finally called again because I developed this back pain that felt like my head was being pulled down into my shoulder. I do not know if the back thing is causing the hand thing or the hand thing has caused the back thing or if they are unrelated. In either case the result was totally worth it.
3. I had some questions about the nature of the pain-my hands are mostly painful at night. I wake up and they throb with my finger joints swelled up and painful to bend. During the day my finger joints loosen up but the pain moves into my wrists. I cannot open most jars or bottles and I cannot use my hands to pull up or push up when I get in and out of chairs. Shaking hands with someone is sometimes agonizing. So much so that I sometimes just have to say no..I cannot. I have changed how I brush my hair holding the brush and moving my whole arm. Hence my question as to whether the hands caused the back pain or vice-versa.
4. I went to a rheumatologist about the hand pain. He did all of the blood tests gave me a different 750mg NSAID drug that had little effect. It worked no better really than the aleive. He took blood. When i did the 30 day follow up visit (I hate the f-ing waiting by the way). nothing really had changed and he found nothing in the blood work. I was so annoyed..it feels like at times that doctors are lazy or they are just not as good as I build them up to be. If there is nothing in a blood test they have no f-ing clue and send you away for another waiting period. This time he said go home take your alieve for 2 months and come back. I so wanted to tell him where to shove it.
5. I have changed General doctors. She is my neighbor and I have up until how held off changing my medical care to a person I drink/socialize with. We had a Christmas party and had a chat about the medical thing (yeah I know we had one of those get treatment advice for free conversations!) I hate it when that happens-policemen always get the I hate cops and I had this bastard give me a ticket. Doctors get the I have this pain and math teachers get the traumatic math story. Well..I did that..(shaking my head in shame). Well...anyhow she said to come in and that it was ridiculous that I should just put up with the pain and there must be something. A few days later she then walked up to me at the bar ( our neighboring watering hold and social center) and grabbed my back and said..you are wayyy tight. (I could tell she was working on the problem even after hours). Well..I have come to the conclusion that I want a doctor that is invested enough in my health to think about it beyond the 5 minutes I am sitting in her office. So I changed.
6. A doc left a message on this blog about a Thiamine deficiency after my previous post. I will ask or check out my blood stats and see.
7. Yarn shop--has been Busy! I have two employees now and sub out payroll and taxes to a accountant firm. I am also getting a volunteer bookkeeper (thank goodness for nice knitters) for next year to help me organize myself.
8. Oh..on the health front again--The iron and B-12 shots helped but slowly. I felt somewhat better right away but last night for the first time in a long time I really felt great. Sure my hands hurt but I have my energy back and that spring in my step that I developed when the weight came off came back last night. I was beginning to despair that this had all gone down the tubes and I was just going to be an old tired old lady. I think there is a little life in here yet ;)
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good New Year and all that :)
xxoo
Thursday, October 9, 2014
A Hematological Visit
I visited with Dr Who (not his real name but somehow in my illness fuzzed brain that is what he became). I went into the freaky Oncology/Hemo office and everyone kept reiterating that I was there for anemia not cancer (perhaps a clue they should work on their PR a little?). I know I would change the answering machine messages pronto.
They drew some blood. The gals in the lab were very nice and made jokes. I liked them. I showed up early and actually got seen a full hour before my appointment :) Love that!!
Now the lame-o news. I have Anemia (well roll out the bandwagons that is new! NOT). He said the arm and hand pain were not the result of anemia. He wants me to come in for IV Iron though (4 freaking hours!!!). He checked my B-12 results and despite being told on the phone that mine was low..it was very average??? WTF??
So now a full week after thinking I was being sent to this guy to work on the actual pain I was in and continue to be in I am no further towards knowing anything. I called my GP back to ask..but of course you know you get the shuffle and I have now get to wait until next week for an appointment to see her again. OH wait..that is also when I see the band doctor for another teensy fill (oh yes the good saline is no longer there..stuff hardly touches the sides again and my 2 pound weight-loss is no more).
and a recap: I have not actually met the new surgeon. Just my old nurse practitioner is still working. My old surgeon retired and I have been left with DR saline miser.
so next Friday my only full on relax day for laying in, coffee and paperwork is now being filled with doctors appointments. Next week is fill, Mammogram and GP visit.
I have to cancel the Iron IV (4 hours) and move it to the 24th.
Did you know you are not supposed to take your Iron with coffee? Apparently according to DR WHO you are not..from now on I am to drink my coffee, take my alieve and then save the iron for two hours later and a glass of OJ.
If anyone has had hand/arm pain let me know. Right now no one is any closer to knowing why mine are screwed. I will take all opinions, speculations and ideas.
:( day.
They drew some blood. The gals in the lab were very nice and made jokes. I liked them. I showed up early and actually got seen a full hour before my appointment :) Love that!!
Now the lame-o news. I have Anemia (well roll out the bandwagons that is new! NOT). He said the arm and hand pain were not the result of anemia. He wants me to come in for IV Iron though (4 freaking hours!!!). He checked my B-12 results and despite being told on the phone that mine was low..it was very average??? WTF??
So now a full week after thinking I was being sent to this guy to work on the actual pain I was in and continue to be in I am no further towards knowing anything. I called my GP back to ask..but of course you know you get the shuffle and I have now get to wait until next week for an appointment to see her again. OH wait..that is also when I see the band doctor for another teensy fill (oh yes the good saline is no longer there..stuff hardly touches the sides again and my 2 pound weight-loss is no more).
and a recap: I have not actually met the new surgeon. Just my old nurse practitioner is still working. My old surgeon retired and I have been left with DR saline miser.
so next Friday my only full on relax day for laying in, coffee and paperwork is now being filled with doctors appointments. Next week is fill, Mammogram and GP visit.
I have to cancel the Iron IV (4 hours) and move it to the 24th.
Did you know you are not supposed to take your Iron with coffee? Apparently according to DR WHO you are not..from now on I am to drink my coffee, take my alieve and then save the iron for two hours later and a glass of OJ.
If anyone has had hand/arm pain let me know. Right now no one is any closer to knowing why mine are screwed. I will take all opinions, speculations and ideas.
:( day.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Its Amazing What Just a Little Saline Can Do
I got a teensy fill on Friday. My new guy is a beast. I am only allowed one CC every two weeks. I miss my old surgeon :(. I begged for and got..a generous CC of fluid. Although I am still lower than what I left the hospital with when I started this whole journey I feel better. Both today and yesterday my hunger dial moved WAYYYY down. I remember this feeling last time (only since it happened before) for some reason the heat seeking hunger I have experienced for the last few months has with this little fill shifted to a new kind of hunger..and I am on my knees kissing the feet of the saline makers for it. Now hungry is when I get a little dizzy..my tummy did not do the talking today. I do not know if this will last but for today I am truly greatful for this little crumb. Perhaps at least now I can turn the tide from weight gain to a little bit of loss.
I see the hematologist next Thursday. My hands and arms are still really painful. I still cannot really knit. I did have a little burst of energy today and did some house cleaning. Given my energy levels over the last few months I am really happy with that. My self-induced (or husband induced) regime right now is 2 iron tablets, 2 b-12 tablets, a shot of flax seed oil (apparently helps with inflammation), one Aleive in the morning, one prilosec in the afternoon. He and a friend have suggested I also go get some probiotics to add to the mix. At this point I am gain to try anything while I work to have the pros sort things out.
So basically today..the glass is half full :)
I see the hematologist next Thursday. My hands and arms are still really painful. I still cannot really knit. I did have a little burst of energy today and did some house cleaning. Given my energy levels over the last few months I am really happy with that. My self-induced (or husband induced) regime right now is 2 iron tablets, 2 b-12 tablets, a shot of flax seed oil (apparently helps with inflammation), one Aleive in the morning, one prilosec in the afternoon. He and a friend have suggested I also go get some probiotics to add to the mix. At this point I am gain to try anything while I work to have the pros sort things out.
So basically today..the glass is half full :)
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
And the Illness Continues
The illness just keeps on giving. The pain in my hands has gone up and down but mostly so bad that I have not been able to knit for about a week. Last night I managed to do some tatting but in the middle of the night i woke up with pain in the middle of my hands so bad it woke me up.
So for a quick catch up:
Gyno problems -progesterone IUD solving bleeding issues but not sure if implicated in all of this other junk.
Stomach and side pains-finally have faded but upper GI and endoscopy found nothing but inflammation.
body/join pains increased until I finally went back to my General Doctor. She decided it was either Iron problems, Lupis or Rheumetoid Arthritis. She did a blood workup and it came back with no Iron stores and almost no B-12.
So chapter two of this whole saga is: I need to get a colonoscopy, I need to see a Hemotologist. It is totally freaking me out that when you look up hemotologist the name is synonymous with cancer or oncology. I keep saying to myself..just blood Tina just the blood specialist. When I called to make an appointment today all of the on hold information was about how cancer patients need to eat and exercise!!! eek.
On Friday I get to have another fill. I am going to petition for a big more than the 1cc I have been promised. apparently if this is blood related there is no reason I cannot have my band help back and..more importantly the weight I have gained cannot be helpful for my health. I have had to buy big girl underwear again :((((((( and I have about 4 outfits that fit because they are like flipping moomoos.
On the bubbling resentment front-why did it take my GP to finally call for those sorts of blood tests. You would think the lapband people would have at least done that???
I am sick of eating but hungry as hell. I am sick of having to try and work and fit in doctors appointments. I am sick of being so tired I barely get through the work day and then crawl my sorry self up to bed. I am sick of the pain. I am sick of gaining weight and hate getting dressed. :( SAD FACE.
So for a quick catch up:
Gyno problems -progesterone IUD solving bleeding issues but not sure if implicated in all of this other junk.
Stomach and side pains-finally have faded but upper GI and endoscopy found nothing but inflammation.
body/join pains increased until I finally went back to my General Doctor. She decided it was either Iron problems, Lupis or Rheumetoid Arthritis. She did a blood workup and it came back with no Iron stores and almost no B-12.
So chapter two of this whole saga is: I need to get a colonoscopy, I need to see a Hemotologist. It is totally freaking me out that when you look up hemotologist the name is synonymous with cancer or oncology. I keep saying to myself..just blood Tina just the blood specialist. When I called to make an appointment today all of the on hold information was about how cancer patients need to eat and exercise!!! eek.
On Friday I get to have another fill. I am going to petition for a big more than the 1cc I have been promised. apparently if this is blood related there is no reason I cannot have my band help back and..more importantly the weight I have gained cannot be helpful for my health. I have had to buy big girl underwear again :((((((( and I have about 4 outfits that fit because they are like flipping moomoos.
On the bubbling resentment front-why did it take my GP to finally call for those sorts of blood tests. You would think the lapband people would have at least done that???
I am sick of eating but hungry as hell. I am sick of having to try and work and fit in doctors appointments. I am sick of being so tired I barely get through the work day and then crawl my sorry self up to bed. I am sick of the pain. I am sick of gaining weight and hate getting dressed. :( SAD FACE.
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