Planning How to Fill My Blank Sheet of Paper

Happy New Year and New Decade. After reading Simone's (The Bottom of the Ironing Basket) post this morning I am inspired to plan how I am gong to fill my brand new yearly inspired blank sheet of paper.

Food and exercise not weight loss: This last year went very well in the dieting department. I would like to continue the weight loss but now start feeding my whole family in a much healthier way. In the last few months we have begun to eat at home more. This has had a tremendous effect on our budget but now I need to view it in terms of health. I also want to get all of use doing more exercise related activities together. I have started getting on my bike (although not often enough). It is time we all started exercising. We did a little geocaching a few months ago and enjoyed it and there is no reason we could not do more.

Budget: We have been crap with our money. We have separate bank accounts and I have paid attention to mine but never the bank account that gets the day to day expenses. Yesterday I went though it and found that we make stupid amounts of transactions the fill up pages with 2.00 here and there. We also have some expenses that need attending to (verizon was one big one!!). David and I think we can cut some expenses on our cell phones and eating out. I think I can tighten up grocery expenses. We have a less expensive store near our house that annoys us so we have not gone opting for the more expensive but less crowded store. We are gong to bite the bullet and put up with people standing in aisles to save the money. We are also going on a budget with a weekly allowance each in cash. Hopefully this will cut down on the starbucks with a card runs. David and I want to visit the UK in the summer and I want a new couch. Hopefully stopping the frittering away of money will make those two goals more easily attainable.

Work: I have to decide what I want. Do I want a tenure track job? Do I want to take on several part time jobs allowing more flexibility at home? Do I want to retire (and am I willing to make the sacrifices necessary for that?). Can I even decide what I want given the children I have who need me to pay for their college tuition?

Time: I need to learn how to plan and execute my time in a more organized way. When I am working I need to work. When I am home on weekends I need to stop work from bleeding over into family time. When I am spending my leisure time I need to spend it mindfully and give my daughters and sometimes husband :)...my focused attention not a quick glance and comment from behind a computer or away from the TV or from the kitchen or or or.

Arts and Crafts: Sewing the pajama bottoms made me realize that I miss my arts and crafts time. Since 1999 I shifted my focus from leisure to starting and finishing a Ph.D. I have finished that and I need to refocus at least some of my time on things I like to do. Grace would love to sew and craft with me and I need to make the time to sew, quilt, knit, and bead. The good news is that I have a decked out sewing room in which to do this. All I have to do is go in there and get started.

So although I am not going to call these New Years resolutions in a sense they are. I have always had a simple resolution in the past. It was lose weight. I never really planned how I would accomplish the weight loss goal and until I got the lapband I had very little success at it from year to year. Something else I have noticed this year is that with the weight loss goal getting accomplished I have other personal failings rising to the surface that I am now paying attention to. A lot of those listed above contributed to the vicious circle of weight gain and failed weight loss. I am hoping this blog post and additional off post planning will help me succeed and truly making changes in my life.

On a final note: I had a horrible dream last night that I lost my restriction and discovered that I had really not changed any of my habits at all and bounced right back to my original weight in rapid speed. I am really afraid that this is correct. I am planning on making broad changes to how I live my life in 2010 to insure that even if I have glitches with the band my lifestyle changes will at least temper the damage that could be caused by band blips.

My Good Nothing Has Gone Bad

Life with the new Wii software has taken a nasty turn. Grace has spent several hours outside running in the snow and playing with the kids who always turn out for sledding on the hill right behind our house. This is a good thing. She is getting fresh air and exercise but after the outside play she (as well as others including myself) have spent the afternoon playing and ultimately getting frustrated with the Wii. I have just told her that if I hear one more complaint about the little guy falling off a cliff (apparently she is doing everything right!) I am going to kick her off the Wii for good. What happened to passive cartoon laden TV?

:)

I have spent another day with all good intentions to start back to my job and get something accomplished but alas have spent time babysitting my grandson, napping, playing the @#$#$# Wii and mooching around on the computer getting nothing useful accomplished. My nothing is becoming the negative kind I am afraid. I wish someone would share some work motivation with me...Anyone???

The Joys of Nothing

Nothing...it can be very bad when associated with money, food or water but today it was sheer pleasure. I had a little sleep in and then woke up and read some of the book I received for Christmas (Sue Grafton's U is for undertow).

I crawled out of bed around 10am when my oldest daughter came in with my grandson for a visit. We lounged around until noon while Grace and Grant played with a remote controlled spider (Christmas loot), stickle bricks and climbed on furniture. At lunchtime we went for a trip to the grocery store together.

I mentally planned a weeks worth of meals and commenced the grocery stocking. Fish and chips, steak, spaghetti, chicken stir fry, home-made pizzas, split pea soup, and chili. I have no order in mind but have the goods to complete each of these. I had the stir-fry fixins at home but with all the rest I got out of the store for $61.50. wooohoo gotta love a bargain day.

On our way home we stopped off at Starbucks for coffees and a nearby park for Grace to play while Grant napped in the car and Nichole (oldest daughter) and I drank our coffees and talked about our eternal life challenges :).

After a brief stop at the bank for Nichole to finish an errand we were back home for some late lunch and a chill. Nichole left to head home ahead of the traffic and Grace watched an old Shirley temple movie while i dozed under a snuggie with my feet tucked under her for warmth....another ahhhhhhh worthy afternoon.

I did get on the scale today and I gained 2 pounds over the last couple of weeks. I am still quite poofy from the travel, hard eating and drinking so I am not too concerned. I am ready to get this show on the road however and shake the remaining pounds to the 100 pounds loss mark quickly followed by the onederland goal. Today was a beautiful eating day as I wasn't hungry. I had a small cracker this morning two bits of laughing cow cheese with 4 crackers this afternoon and my starbucks coffee. We have left things late this evening and so I am about to shift myself into the kitchen to scrounge up some dinner (not sure which it will be) but i better hop to it before Grace turns into a beastly monster from food deprivation.

I hope you all are also getting some tranquility before the new year begins!

Home ...Ahhhh

After a rushed run up to Christmas and an indulgent (lots of food and drink) and exhaustive trip to my parents we drove home today. In the end I had enough pajamas for the little kids and girls in the family. I ran out of fabric for the guys. From comments made I do not think they would have been too thrilled with them anyway so it was for the best. Once at my parents I made pumpkin pies and finished up measuring waists for elastic to finish off the bottoms.

We arrived on Wednesday on the late side as we stopped off at my cousins along the way for dinner. We had a good visit with my aunt and my cousin's family. We then finished the 5 hour drive to my parents. On Christmas Eve we did a bit of shopping to Walmart, the local farm supply store (I do love a good farm store!) and finished up buying stocking stuffers and last minute presents. We also stocked up on groceries for the next few days. The rest of my family left for Christmas Eve services while David and I took a much needed nap and chill out of a bit of peace and quiet before the hub bub began again for the evening and Christmas day (we are not church-goers and I will leave it at that).

Christmas day was good. Santa was good to Grace with a full library of horse related books (a great gently used find on Craigs list), half chaps, a western snap shirt and a horse-head book end. Her granny found her a non-apple mp3 player and big-ear headphones (saving her from a deaf adult life). Her other grandma provided a Wii game and her aunts and uncles gave her a game for her DS.

Granny, Grace and I went together and got my husband a Wii fit (he is, as I type, doing step aerobics on the thing). He has been gagging for the thing for over a year and even tried to wangle one by saying we should get it for Grace. He was kind of surprised when he opened it and found he got it. He also got a load of cooking gadgets and the Julia Childs cookbooks.

David and Grace bought me a bamboo gadget for my computer. It is an attachment that will let me write on the computer screen with a pen stylus. I will be able to draw or work math problems right onto the computer instead of typing or trying to do so with a mouse. I haven't tried it out yet but I am kind of excited to give it a try. I also got a lovely tapestry from Wales from my Mother in law (granny). A lovely coffee table book with short biographies of different mathematicians and moccasin patterns from a Cherokee artist that I was wanting to try out from my three older daughters. My mother gave me a cool lamp to hook onto my sewing machine to make it easier to thread the needle and see my work. This will come in handy for the quilt i have promised to make this year.

All of my daughters, spouses and my grandson were at my parents. My sister and brother in law were there with their two children. My brother, his wife and their three children came for Christmas day. In total this was 19 people.

I had pretty good restriction although not as good as at Thanksgiving. Grazing was still a huge issue and I am frankly a tad scared to get on the scale. I am under no illusions that I will have finally gotten to the 100 pound mark this week that is for sure. I will be lucky to save myself from a three pound gain. I am fine with it though. The visit was at times pretty stressful and each holiday and eating struggle teaches me a little more about my eating issues, causes and triggers. Every blip has changed from a swan dive back into bad habits to a controllable learning experience that I will conquer. That was never the case before the band!

We stayed through Sunday and drove home this afternoon and evening. We hit a bit of snow and Ice along the way but David's truck did well getting us back to our much appreciated coastal weather! I am sitting in front of my warm and toasty gas stove on my comfy couch watching David's backside move up and down on his wii board. I am not sure how long this will be amusing!! but just now it is pure relaxation and contentment.

Freaky Deaky

My restriction has slipped and I am craving food. I actually, on my drive from work today, had an out of body hamburger eating fantasy. It was the weirdest thing on the freaking planet. I started salivating and actually CHEWING!!! I could taste the hamburger. Do ya think im a recovering addict? I have not had a hamburger in ages. I know I cannot eat them..so what the Heck? What is odd is that I felt no compulsion to swing into McDonalds. It happened after I was past the place and headed towards the highway. It was almost like my brain taking the piss!

My written down plan yesterday has perhaps helped. I have the presents purchased except for bits and bobs for stockings. I have the kids pajama bottoms made but not the adults (6 down 5 or 6 to go as it depends on how long the fabric holds out). Baking started with just pumpkin pies left. David kicked in and made a few different cookies tonight bless him. Tomorrow we leave for my parents house and I will take the inhgredients for the pies with me and at least the remaining pajamas cut. I skipped the document but attended the work meeting today...so progress but not completion as of yet.

I have not had much chance to sew in the last few years and It has been fun to get back and do a bit. I will commit to working on a quilt or two in the new year (funny..my first New Year's resolution that does not involve dieting!!!)

If I do not manage to post a Merry Christmas to you all later this week Here it is!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! I Will raise a toast to you and think of you all as I eat my tiny tiny dinner serving at Christmas.

When Will I Learn

As I always do I have planned way too much into much to short a time. In addition to the work stuff I have have baking to do, a bunch of pajamas I decided to add to the list, presents to wrap, presents still to buy, a meeting at work tomorrow, no cards out......arghghghg I think I will need to cut out sleep.

My oldest daughter has started scheduling her day writing out what needs to be done. She knows when my grandson sleeps and schedules blocks of time and exactly what she will do during those blocks of time. I think I need to take the time to plan..what is that they say? fail to plan, plan to fail?

Today: Cards out the door, pajamas started, prepare report for meeting tomorrow. Tuesday: Meeting, Pajamas, last present purchases, wrapping.
Wednesday: Traveling to Grandmas and some baking
Thursday: More baking.

hopefully I can do it.

Exercise-o-rama

My band tightness has eased off a little but I am definitely on the edge of it. I am going to stick it out and forgo any of the foods that are risky (pasta, ground meats, Prunes :)). Operation exercise is still underway. On Tuesday and Wednesday I rode my bike. Wednesday was a shorter ride but up two nasty hills. I did have to walk one. my backside and legs were really sore Wednesday night. They were so bad that I woke up several times in the middle of the nice with pain spasms. I decided that on Thursday I would walk instead. I got an invitation from a couple of friends who walk everyday and tagged along. They go 3 miles...should be no problem. Directly after this I went shopping all day. Well today I can barely walk!! I think it is a combination of the three days catching up with me. I have taken an Aleve and am hoping that it will help.

Today is Grace's school play and celebration dinner. She got the lead as Anansi the spider. The feast, plays and songs are arranged around and international theme. I think this year is Africa but I'm not entirely sure because I have been told we are eating pasta?...well I'm not eating it as this is off my eating menu for a while. After the play we are having some family friends over for dinner and gift exchange. The house is not very clean and I have lots to do (including chase down one last gift).

The scale was my friend this morning and finally dropped down by another pound! Now 4 pounds to go until 100 pounds lost. I might just have to bring my scale to my parents house for Christmas. I don't want to miss it when I finally get there.