I had my four year research study check in yesterday. As usual arranging the appointment, fasting until the time needed (this year it was an ungodly noon!) and getting to the appointment offices was a big old pain int he backside. As always, however, once I get to the thing I am so grateful for the information I get by checking in each year to monitor my progress. this years stats are not stellar but not bad either.
1. I am up 10 pounds from last year (apparently I have not made it to one of these annual events at goal or during my brief trip below goal). the good news is that I only gained 10 pounds for the research study instead of the almost 20 from my lowest low that I am carting around.
2. This weight gain happened right where I suspected it did. My waist and belly (ahhh us fat tummy girls..all gut and no butt). I increased my waist by 4 inches but hey..my neck is still as slender as ever (pht..like I care).
2. All of my weight gain came on as fat..of course I expected this since it is largely due to my drastically cutting down on exercise. I know I need to do it..but so far I have had no gumption to really get out and take action.
3. My blood pressure was improved even from last year!!! small miracles eh?
4. My recovery from the 1/4 mile walk they put us through was even faster than last year. I made a better than pre/pulse recovery after two minutes. I guess this means despite the fact I have turned back into lazy girl I am still heart fit.
Other news:
The shop is doing a brisk business. Not paying rent worthy but definitely better than I expected a month into things. I am hardly getting any knitting time in :). This is a good thing.
My mother in law who was visiting for the last month went home today :(...we will miss her.
OH..for some reason after yesterdays 1/2 day fast I have tightened up like notbodys business. So much so that I feel a weight-loss coming on. Now if I can just bring myself to get off my arse at the same time I would be sitting pretty.
Deep thoughts: the band is still the best decision I ever made. this 10-20 pounds is doable and I just need to get my act in gear. When it was 150 pounds to lose it was just too daunting to contemplate.
love you all..and miss this cool supportive place. I will try and pop over on schedule again soon.
Living with a lapband after seeing goal is just as much work as getting there. This blog chronicles my journey to qualify for band surgery, my work to goal weight and now living with the band long term. Weight will always be an issue but there is a whole lot of living to be done.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Stuff and Thursdayness
1. A few days ago I had an epiphany about the whole setting an example of what 'normal' for my children. I have had my adult children and others comment on the quantity of food I eat. Yes indeed it isn't very much anymore. Whether how much I eat is abnormal..well I say that is a bit of rubbish. So I may or not be considered 'normal' but..obviously my body is not one of the fast burner types of furnaces that all of the chubby among us desire to have. I am a slow burner and a small quantities of calories goes along way. It SUCKS yes..but it is. For me..a couple of small meals a day is 'normal'. In observing my friends and family for food quantities I have come to the conclusion that there is a very LARGE range of what normal is. Grace, David and I are at the low end of meal size needs. I have a family friend who can and does eat quite large amount and is skinny as a rail (like a big plate heaped with food-both high and low cal). I spent a lifetime envying my skinny friends their appetites. Some of these skinny friends could indeed eat a lot while others really did not eat that much but had an internal thermostat that kept them satisfied with that. Mine was a low burner and never seemed to tell me when enough was enough to maintain a healthy weight.
I will no longer worry about what example I set for my children or others as this range and my post surgery meal sizes are good examples that everyone is different. Everyone needs to eat different amounts of food to sustain themselves. I am a 'little-amount' kind. I can earn more with exercise. I might sometimes and I might not others. For me it is the price to be paid. My children need to learn and re-learn that everyone is different and the main gold is figure out who you are..how you burn and do the best you can to optimize your life around that.
2. The local newspaper published an article about the shop. The traffic has increased a crud-load. I had customers coming through all week and I am pooped :) It is good..and there is so much to do.
3. My weight is the bane of my life. Up still around 180. I have done some eating, done some exercising, for two days..no meals because I was too busy (one or two coffees and a snack). My ankles are swollen and I am tired. Usually two really busy days results in a weight drop..I will see if that comes back.
4. Not eating any meals for two days leads me to believe that keeping myself busy is a good thing for weight loss. Adding exercise and eating quality would improve that (I hope :)) I wasn't hungry so then the question is to myself..if I don't get hungry when I am busy what exactly is that thing I think is hunger when I am not busy???
5. I have an adolescent in the house..and it is VERY painful.
6. My adolescent had friends over today..Thus a house-full of adolescents all at age 10-11...surprise surprise..it was even more painful. My mother-in-law made sure to tell me (this was to make me feel better about my lone painful child). Wow..all 6 of them were alike..pouting because I told them they had to stay downstairs and then 5 minutes later happy as can be with music on the computer and drawing supplies. :)...How quickly a parent forgets these turbulent years.
7. This is round 4 for the final time (my fourth and final parenting job to an adolescent-an yes I realize grandma-ing might happen but I like the idea of being one step removed from it next round). I must remember to savor the good bits and let the bad bits roll off my back. Be one with the duck....I am waterproof..roll off roll off :) Yoga anyone?
8. I love my new neighborhood. Today on my walk to my morning coffee and back I had no less than 5 people (my neighbors) say hello. This was one block and a total of 10 minutes. In that 10 minutes I ended up with a play date for Grace (read number 6 for a recap). Empathetic discussion about number 5, a congrats on number 2. and an invitation to a wine tasting. Life is good.
9. Crapola..my 1-8 are packed enough aren't they?
10. The bell tolls 12:30 am and I have a a coffee run scheduled at 9am, a shop to open at 10, a spruce up of the 'lab' and samples to hang for upcoming classes. a fingerless glove knitting camp to teach at 3pm and a cork craft to host at 6:30. phew.. I need to get some sleep to prep.
Happy Friday everyone!!
xxxooo
I will no longer worry about what example I set for my children or others as this range and my post surgery meal sizes are good examples that everyone is different. Everyone needs to eat different amounts of food to sustain themselves. I am a 'little-amount' kind. I can earn more with exercise. I might sometimes and I might not others. For me it is the price to be paid. My children need to learn and re-learn that everyone is different and the main gold is figure out who you are..how you burn and do the best you can to optimize your life around that.
2. The local newspaper published an article about the shop. The traffic has increased a crud-load. I had customers coming through all week and I am pooped :) It is good..and there is so much to do.
3. My weight is the bane of my life. Up still around 180. I have done some eating, done some exercising, for two days..no meals because I was too busy (one or two coffees and a snack). My ankles are swollen and I am tired. Usually two really busy days results in a weight drop..I will see if that comes back.
4. Not eating any meals for two days leads me to believe that keeping myself busy is a good thing for weight loss. Adding exercise and eating quality would improve that (I hope :)) I wasn't hungry so then the question is to myself..if I don't get hungry when I am busy what exactly is that thing I think is hunger when I am not busy???
5. I have an adolescent in the house..and it is VERY painful.
6. My adolescent had friends over today..Thus a house-full of adolescents all at age 10-11...surprise surprise..it was even more painful. My mother-in-law made sure to tell me (this was to make me feel better about my lone painful child). Wow..all 6 of them were alike..pouting because I told them they had to stay downstairs and then 5 minutes later happy as can be with music on the computer and drawing supplies. :)...How quickly a parent forgets these turbulent years.
7. This is round 4 for the final time (my fourth and final parenting job to an adolescent-an yes I realize grandma-ing might happen but I like the idea of being one step removed from it next round). I must remember to savor the good bits and let the bad bits roll off my back. Be one with the duck....I am waterproof..roll off roll off :) Yoga anyone?
8. I love my new neighborhood. Today on my walk to my morning coffee and back I had no less than 5 people (my neighbors) say hello. This was one block and a total of 10 minutes. In that 10 minutes I ended up with a play date for Grace (read number 6 for a recap). Empathetic discussion about number 5, a congrats on number 2. and an invitation to a wine tasting. Life is good.
9. Crapola..my 1-8 are packed enough aren't they?
10. The bell tolls 12:30 am and I have a a coffee run scheduled at 9am, a shop to open at 10, a spruce up of the 'lab' and samples to hang for upcoming classes. a fingerless glove knitting camp to teach at 3pm and a cork craft to host at 6:30. phew.. I need to get some sleep to prep.
Happy Friday everyone!!
xxxooo
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Exercise is the Only Way To Go..I Think :)
Ok..I just finished a very good try to curtail the coffee and cut out the crap and eat better. I failed. I am tight enough. I am feeling now like I did pre-band in my many failed attempts to get a grip on myself. This is of course a very minor place in comparison. I was battling 300 pounds then and had 150 to lose. Now..I am battling 20 or so but it is no less difficult to maintain myself. I can get through a day and then..off I go with the screaming voices urging me to fill the void with some sinful treat or another-the main one being the coffee habit.
So..the alternative (and deep down I knew this all of the time as did some of you fellow bloggers who told me so while I was moaning many posts ago) is exercise. I need to get out of my chair, out of this shop when it is closed and onto my bike or feet or whatever I can manage REGULARLY. In the past exercise has been the one thing that pushed the pounds off when I was stuck. Exercise is the one thing that helped me curb my desire to stuff down sweet stuff. Exercise burned calories that I sometimes failed to resist during the day.
I don't need to run...I don't need to do a marathon or even a wild man crazy triathlon. I just need to move a little more everyday. Run up and down my stairs 6 or seven time. Walk for a few miles or ride my bike for a few more. Changing jobs cut down on a huge amount of daily exercise for me (about 2 miles walk per day). having the store in my basement has locked me into the house a whole lot more than I normally would have been before. Only I can do something about that.
So..the alternative (and deep down I knew this all of the time as did some of you fellow bloggers who told me so while I was moaning many posts ago) is exercise. I need to get out of my chair, out of this shop when it is closed and onto my bike or feet or whatever I can manage REGULARLY. In the past exercise has been the one thing that pushed the pounds off when I was stuck. Exercise is the one thing that helped me curb my desire to stuff down sweet stuff. Exercise burned calories that I sometimes failed to resist during the day.
I don't need to run...I don't need to do a marathon or even a wild man crazy triathlon. I just need to move a little more everyday. Run up and down my stairs 6 or seven time. Walk for a few miles or ride my bike for a few more. Changing jobs cut down on a huge amount of daily exercise for me (about 2 miles walk per day). having the store in my basement has locked me into the house a whole lot more than I normally would have been before. Only I can do something about that.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Phew-I am Glad that one is over
Ok I resisted the morning coffee but today was not a great one. headache...check, allergies...check. Nodded off twice this morning while at work. Unable to get the multitude of stuff done that needed doing. One customer in the end.
Grace hitting puberty full on with all of the attitude that comes along with it. The result:
Breakfast: orange smoothie thing and three cherries
Lunch: three more cherries, 5 squares of chocolate
During lunch I baked some pasties and an apricot tart but didn't eat any.
Snack: Starbucks (yes it tasted good..yes I buckled...and yes I needed it)
Dinner: Hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps, salmon tar tar on lavash with chutney and a couple bites of oven bricked chicken plus a couple of bites of quinoa (the latter two off my MIL's plate and David's.
Dessert: a piece of apricot tart with a dollop of whipped cream.
Yup..full of crap day finished with some lovely desserty crap. I am satiated.
Maybe the scale will be kind tomorrow and the infusion of caffeine and alcohol will provide a boost to my attitude???
Grace hitting puberty full on with all of the attitude that comes along with it. The result:
Breakfast: orange smoothie thing and three cherries
Lunch: three more cherries, 5 squares of chocolate
During lunch I baked some pasties and an apricot tart but didn't eat any.
Snack: Starbucks (yes it tasted good..yes I buckled...and yes I needed it)
Dinner: Hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps, salmon tar tar on lavash with chutney and a couple bites of oven bricked chicken plus a couple of bites of quinoa (the latter two off my MIL's plate and David's.
Dessert: a piece of apricot tart with a dollop of whipped cream.
Yup..full of crap day finished with some lovely desserty crap. I am satiated.
Maybe the scale will be kind tomorrow and the infusion of caffeine and alcohol will provide a boost to my attitude???
Ok..Day Two. Here I Come
One day without Starbucks. Day two finds me resisting the urge to walk around the corner and get my Yoosh..ushe...youge? (how should one spell that funny short for usual word anyway? :)
I made the orange and milk with protein powder and ice smoothie. I also popped two cherries (sadly for me..first..tsk tsk tsk). Now my smoothie and vitamins are going down V e r y s l o w l y.
I have allergies and one hellacious headache this morning (caffeine withdrawals maybe but could be just plain old sinus stuff).
Oh..the scale rewarded me with 1 pound down.
xxxooo
I made the orange and milk with protein powder and ice smoothie. I also popped two cherries (sadly for me..first..tsk tsk tsk). Now my smoothie and vitamins are going down V e r y s l o w l y.
I have allergies and one hellacious headache this morning (caffeine withdrawals maybe but could be just plain old sinus stuff).
Oh..the scale rewarded me with 1 pound down.
xxxooo
Thursday, June 21, 2012
I Did it!!
Breakfast:
orange juice protein smoothie: 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1/2 cup OJ. 1/2 milk, 1 cup ice
1 oz cheese
1 apricot
Lunch:
1/2 C orzo salad with feta and some cress-like green leaves that were yummy.
3 pretzel sticks with dark chocolate
Dinner:
1/2c more of that yummy greek orzo salad.
Chocolate PB protein smoothie: 1 cup milk, 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1 cup ice, 1 t chocolate powder from Starbucks, 1 t PB powdery stuff.
1/2 c ice cream.
So I was kind of hungry today. I did not make every positive choice that I probably should have BUT-I did not darken Starbucks doors today despite walking right across the street from it twice and wanting to in the afternoon in the WORST way.
One day..I call it victory. We shall see how the scale treats me in the morning.
xxxooo
orange juice protein smoothie: 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1/2 cup OJ. 1/2 milk, 1 cup ice
1 oz cheese
1 apricot
Lunch:
1/2 C orzo salad with feta and some cress-like green leaves that were yummy.
3 pretzel sticks with dark chocolate
Dinner:
1/2c more of that yummy greek orzo salad.
Chocolate PB protein smoothie: 1 cup milk, 1 scoop muscle milk vanilla, 1 cup ice, 1 t chocolate powder from Starbucks, 1 t PB powdery stuff.
1/2 c ice cream.
So I was kind of hungry today. I did not make every positive choice that I probably should have BUT-I did not darken Starbucks doors today despite walking right across the street from it twice and wanting to in the afternoon in the WORST way.
One day..I call it victory. We shall see how the scale treats me in the morning.
xxxooo
Today! Now! Enough!
For some reason my resolve has returned. Like any good alcoholic (or in this case-Starbucks-a-holic) I am kicking my morning ridiculously huge frapp.
I woke up. I did a kitchen clean. I made an orange juice and protein powder with a splash of milk and a hit of iced tea (a girls gotta have some caffeine). It was actually quite tasty despite the blow out experience I had with my blender.
at 11:30 I had the hungries and went back upstairs (working for my lunch don't you know) and had and ounce of cheddar and an apricot.
So the dilemma is..do I get to have an afternoon coffee or not? I will let you know how I hold out.
My weight is sitting at 179. 180 has become quite stable and unacceptable. I know that I have gotten stealth about getting calories in. I am pretty sure a fill will not solve my problems. It is up to me now.
xxxooo
I woke up. I did a kitchen clean. I made an orange juice and protein powder with a splash of milk and a hit of iced tea (a girls gotta have some caffeine). It was actually quite tasty despite the blow out experience I had with my blender.
at 11:30 I had the hungries and went back upstairs (working for my lunch don't you know) and had and ounce of cheddar and an apricot.
So the dilemma is..do I get to have an afternoon coffee or not? I will let you know how I hold out.
My weight is sitting at 179. 180 has become quite stable and unacceptable. I know that I have gotten stealth about getting calories in. I am pretty sure a fill will not solve my problems. It is up to me now.
xxxooo
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