Nothing New Today

No news today....So close but the scale is being a pain in the rear. I got on and weighed in 161.7 once and then twice at 170..I swear my old scale is just messing with my head now. Removing my kiss offer for sure.

I am eating the same. I am not hugely hungry but soft stuff like yogurt and gelato goes down quite smoothly and easily (yes I went out for gelato and it was good). I have been running around so much for work that I have yet to figure out a steady meal plan. I have eaten a lot of cheese and crackers or 1/2 cheese sandwiches because they are safe foods for me and I can eat them while driving or fitting in a quick meal before teaching.

On a good note when I teach I carry a water bottle so I am getting in more water than usual. I am also walking all over my two campuses ...basically with the good there is bad or with the bad there is good.

No TOM yet (not sure if that is a midlife deal or I have just forgotten when I am supposed to have it). My daughter and I keep checking in because of course we are synced up. Maybe thats it..our bodies have gone into wait for each other mode?? :)

xxxooo

2.5 Freaking Pounds Left....Unimaginable Ground Here

This morning my beautiful...wonderful...scale gave me another pound. 166...If that scale had lips I would kiss it. I think I have said it before but anything below 170 is gravy for me. It is coolarific beyond my wildest dreams territory that I have only reached once..one brief week at the age of 16 when I ran each day during lunch and drank a pint of milk for lunch. I then picked at dinner and attempted to eat nothing else all day. I credit this year of eating dangerously with setting up most of my binge and purge eating issues that followed. This was the first time I really dieted and set up the "perfect on" or "just plain off" diet behaviors that followed.

During this dieting period I reached an all time low of 165 and then If I remember correctly ended the week (yes I held this weight for about that long)with a binge. For this week my size 14 A-smile pants became baggy on me and I probably could have fit into a size 12 (remember the size scale has changed since then so that 14 is now a 12 and that 12 would have been a 10 by today's standards). Anyway I did not have the chance to go look for a smaller pair of jeans because I broke the diet one day after school when I took out a bag of instant pancake mix and proceeded to eat 4 very large pancakes with ice cream on top. I quickly regained the hard earned 5 pounds and rolled from 170-175 until I graduated from high school.

Today..my beautiful scale read 166 only 1 pound from that all time low. This time for the first time I am not worrying about a regain or even the loss of a thread of control because my friend the band helps me feel satisfied. Binges are a thing of the past. deep mental and physical hunger are mostly gone as well. I get hungry yes but it is a hunger easily satisfied by a small meal. I have learned to enjoy my flavors in small bites but savored thoroughly and completely in each bite. I view variety as my joy when sampling food. Before quantity is what it was all about.

2.5 pounds until I can say I am normal but really I feel normal now. Normal in that food is a part of my life that I enjoy but not a part that is wrapped in a roller-coaster of joy followed by self-loathing and fear.

2 years and 38 days from surgery and I have lost 138 pounds. that is about 5.2 pounds a month. So...Slow and Steady DOES win...and Patience and slow plodding is possible. xxxooo

Our Own LIttle Mini-Boobs Event

David and Grace and I drove down to Eugene today and meet up with Amanda and her youngest daughter and Debi and her husband. We had a great lunch and talked band, work, travel. We also sent a collective thought and mention to all of those in Chicago and all who like us could not go.

Both of the ladies look GREAT!!! and are very nice and friendly and fun to hang out with for a day. As usual I left without my camera and David's cell phone snap is unviewable. Both Amanda and Debi have promised me a copy of theirs...I will add it when I hear from them.

After lunch we cruised around a new antique store (we missed it a few weeks ago when we were there) and went back to a mid-century antique store. We then went to the most amazing...like really amazing bakery in Eugene (Amanda if you haven't gone you should!) It is called Barry's Espresso, Bakery and Deli. We stopped for a little sweet snack but they also had 6 different soups on the menu, salads, quiches. Every thing I tasted (and I sampled my own choice as well as Graces and David's brought on another one of those food pornographic experiences. I am grateful that there is a bit of a distance between me and this bakery and I would be darkening their door way too often.

All in all a great day.

xxxooo

3.5 Pounds Left

The band saline fairy did indeed provide me with enough to take off yet another pound this week. That leaves just 3.5 measly pounds to go. It is amazing that I get much more excited now about every ounce. I imagine that I had better because this end of the road slog is probably going to be a long one.

I woke up petrified this morning with a stomach ache. I think it was too much snacking at BUNCO (I go play with several of my neighbors). I laid there in bed with my stomach poking sharply at me and started going through all of the devastating scenarios that could be occurring...a slip, my band cutting through my stomach wall etc. The my mind wandered to what that would mean to my weightloss. I did decide then and there that I would beg for and pay whatever it took to get a revision (probably a sleeve) so that I did not have to live life as before band. I did for a bit calculate whether I thought I could keep it off on my own...I don't really think I could.

I got up..had some water and the pain went away. I have had more water and will go off and get my morning coffee (I could probably buy a small piece of furniture with the money I have provided Starbucks this year). I guess I should buy stock as I am single-handedly keeping them successful.

Well I am off-I have a math class to teach this morning (hence no BOOBS for me).

xxxooo

Holy Moly Who Sent the Tight Band Fairy

I am tight tonight-I am assuming that the PMS fairy came and sprinkled saline dust on my band. I can feel the thing gripping my poor stomach with each bite of food.
While the PMS fairy sprinkled and tightened up my band she also left me my own personal appetite monster I think because I have had ginormous cravings for chocolate (sadly I just bought two bags of candy for my math class and they contain said chocolate). I have had a fair number of the delicious and beastly mini candies today along with 2 ounces of cheese, a venti peppermint mocha (i was fine this morning) and 5 tortilla chips. OH and 5 raw Spanish Peanuts.

OK..speaking of peanuts...what the heck are those raw Spanish peanut things anwway..they tasted green..not salty peanutty at all. blech..at lest I am not so hungry or starved as to even like a raw peanut :).

Hopefully the PMS fairy will allow me some weightloss in exchange for my tight band.

Oh by the way again...part of the other reason I was super irritated when I posted about my memory issues was that I have lost my cell phone and the textbook I need to teach out of on Saturday. I am feeling a little better because at least I found the textbook this afternoon. Still no cell phone though.

I will keep you posted on when I lose other stuff...and if you hear conspiracy theory creeping in. I was blaming my daughters for stealing my stuff because they tend to 'borrow' things without telling me. Or I start posting the same thing over and over please send me messages about getting my arse into the doctor for a consultation.

oh by the way..again again...Do you feel the need to sign your blog entries? I have noticed some people do..I feel the urge to sign mine like I have written a letter. My family has a tradition of including xxxooo at the end of all of our letters (kisses and hugs)..Do others of you do that too?


xxxooo p.s. Please someone have some vodka for me in Chicago I will have one for you in Eugene when I meet up with Debi and Amanda on Sunday. We will toast the boobs at Red Robin. man I am depressing myself at how unexciting it sounds next to missing out on Chicago but I know we will have fun and it would be exciting if you weren't having a full on a legionnaires conventions without us (yes I have mental images of you all dancing in a conga line on balconies around the hotel).

This series of xxxooo is for every single blogger who reads this who is not going to CHICAGO---to us...the Stay at home Bloggers (maybe i could make that SOBBS somehow?)

haha oh crap..i must xxxooo

Alzheimers or Old Brain?

Do you ever feel like you are writing the same stuff over and over on here? I think yesterday's post was a repeat of several before it. I have serious concerns about my memory.

-band news-I FORGOT (yes this is a trend for me) to weigh myself until I was dressed. Tomorrow is another day.

And The Bounce and other Crappy Crap

It happened-I saw the signs so I am not surprised. A big drop followed by a super hungry day. Today I up-bounced to 169. my restriction has slipped a bit. I scarfed down another vente coffee yesterday first thing in the morning without a problem. My TOM is coming up though and I usually get a good tighten for a week or so and am hoping that I can ride this fill home to goal. If not...another tiny fill will be needed I think.

My schedule this term is to babysit my grandson on Monday and Wednesday and then work at both of my jobs on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I left at 7:55am yesterday and got home at 8:40 last night. My only rough spot was that I got hungry while I was working in the tutoring lab. I am going to have to work out how to fit dinner in before I get into work. I also teach on Saturday. Friday and Sunday are my days off. Except of course when my boss schedules Friday meetings :)...yup..this week directly following an eye exam.

On the days when I work I love my job. I love that half of it is trying to figure out how best to collect data and analyze it and that the other half is teaching. Last night was teaching 30 future elementary school teachers and hopefully inspiring them to do a great job and guide their students to the exciting subject that math can be.

Ok speaking of eye exams-I have had the worst time with my vision over the last two years. Now I am getting old so I probably has nothing to do with losing all of this fat but...is there anyone out there who has had trouble getting glasses they can both see at a distance with and read and see in the dark with? I already have bifocals but they are just not doing the job. When I read I have to take my glasses off but then I have astigmatism and the words go all wonky. When it is dark (even dim) I cannot recognize my colleagues at work in a hallway 20 feet away. It is very annoying. This will be my second eye exam this year and I am going to a new optometrist. He is in his 50's so I am hoping he will be able to have some insight that my previous young one did not have.

Happy Wednesday everyone.