Time to Simplify

David was released from the hospital yesterday. In the end he did not have H1N1 but instead a nasty case of E Coli that had settled up in his kidneys. In the hospital he was loaded up with IV antibiotics and he has now been sent home with 11 days worth of more antibiotics in pill form.

Directly after David got home we had to do a quick clean in preparation for the real estate agent who we listed our house with last night. Since David was hauled off to the hospital I spent my days trying to get into visit him. As a result all of the last minute preparations for listing the house did not get done-such as trim paint, the bathroom rebuild, and de-clutter didn't get done. It now needs to be done in the next few days in preparation for and agent open house next Tuesday.

The purpose of all of this is to simplify our lives. I work too hard, David works too hard, We have Grace to care for (and try and spend quality time with). The older kids are gone from home and we no longer need a 5 bedroom house to house them in. We are planning on renting for 6 months to see if small space living is for us. If we like the apartment life we will put our house money into a condo. If it drives us crazy we will fall back on our original plan of property and go the rural route.

The condo route means that potentially we can buy a place with no loan and never have a house payment again, never have yard work again, clean a much smaller place and use our paycheck for retirement savings, travel, boarding a horse for Grace and overall have more leisure time. Best of all..and Im not totally sure I am ready for this but I kind of want to try it. I can quit my job and stay home again :)

Weight-wise I am down one more pound but amazingly I think this fill is loosening up already!!! I must be at some pivotal fat amount around my stomach and the one pound of blubber loosened the band already. For once I have preplanned things and have an appointment already arranged in two weeks. I will try and behave myself and keep the band as loose as possible this time so I can get a bit more fill and possibly get a better weight loss run with the next fill.

Hospital Fun

Last night ad midnight I had to pack my husband into the car and take him to the emergency room. He started feeling a bit off at 2 in the afternoon (and I was thinking he was trying to shirk working on the torn up bathroom). He went to bed with a temp of 99. I took Grace to a sleep over and popped into Home-Depot for supplies. When I got home at 6pm his temp was up over 100. By midnight it was 105. The doctor on call said to take him in and I did.

At first they thought he had the flu but when his heart rate stayed at 130bpm and his blood pressure stayed low even though his temperature was finally controlled (5 hours of Tylenol and ibuprofen) They admitted him to the hospital. They now think he had a urinary tract infection that went sepsis and the flu or just the infection (they are not sure). He did not have any symptoms at all before the fever set in. His door is still posted with an infectious disease poster and the pile of disposable gear in the garbage is huge. They took an H1N1 flu swab from his nose this morning and we will know this evening whether it is flu and infection of just infection.

Off the sick husband topic-the band is extraordinarily weird when you skip sleeping. It now makes sense that I tighten up when I travel to different time zones. As I sat in the ER from midnight to 5am my band tightened and loosened a few times. Once water even got stuck for a few minutes and I had to slow it down. I am having to drink cautiously today but the foods I have tried so far have been fine. I had two small rounds of baby bell cheese at 5am and another two a few minutes ago. I also had 6 small wheat thins. I am hungry today with a gumbly stomach! Probably from the lack of sleep.

Holy Moly This Fill IS A Beauty

I cannot believe how quickly you up the food amounts when a fill loosens over time. I went back and forth many times about whether I needed a fill. Well now that I have a tight band back I can tell you that I NEEDED A FILL! My food intake has dropped dramatically. For example, on Saturdays David and I take a statistics class at my local community college. Every morning before we leave I make a big mug of tea and either 1/2 a sandwich or and 2 ounces of cheese and 3 or 4 crackers.Well post fill (today) we ran out of the house before I had a chance to pack anything but we stopped at Starbucks and I bought a tall Skim latte (with mint and mocha dropped in) and a cranberry scone. In class it took a full hour to drink the coffee (went really slowly through the band) and I managed about a 1x1 inch of the scone. David ate the rest. That was it for all of class. Usually by the end of class I am dying for lunch. Today I wasn't hungry until 2pm. The other meals have been the same..Less quantity and much longer period before I am searching for a snack (or the next meal now!).

My weight is shifting again (I am almost afraid to type that because I will jinx it or something). When I went into the doctors office I was back up to 222 and 4 days later I am back at 219.0. When I weigh and mark my weight I round down. If I am anywhere in the 219's I call it. One day I hit 219.8 and I took it. So technically I am down to an all time low but my rules say I cannot claim it until I hit 218.9. If all goes well I should be down into the 218 range tomorrow.

Some fallout from the drastic decrease in food and frankly liquids because i just don't think about putting much in my mouth-liquid or otherwise. Well when you don't eat much roughage or drink enough fluids things tend to ...hmm solidify in an uncomfortable fashion. I have heard about it from many bandsters. I have always considered myself lucky to have avoided that particular band side-effect. Well no more. That side affect has arrived and I am going to have to think about how I can get more fluids and perhaps other ways of getting in roughage. I will not be adding the poop report to my blog but bandster beware :)

Stress Induced Illness

I woke up with a headache today plus other symptoms of stress. For some reason whenever I get stressed out my ankles swell and my gums recede and hurt. I also break out in itchy rashes. It is the wackiest thing on the planet but it is. I still want to quit my job and spent most of yesterday trying to figure out ways to keep some money coming in but reduce the work stress.

I came up with tutoring. I live in an area where parents pay for people to tutor their kids. They do this so they can get the kids ahead and get them into gifted programs and advanced math classes. I don't really support the idea (I think schools should give all of kids a great education not just a select few) but it is something that happens and a potential job opportunity. I decided to put out an ad in my neighborhood paper just to put out feelers.

I have a book I want to write but of course never take/have the time to work on it. You also have to work on the book with no pay and hope to heck that some publisher is interested in it and might not be after all of your hard work.

Last year I worked on a grant proposal that would have changed my job (I don't know if it would have helped the stress though). It would have made most of my job closer to home. We did not get the grant but I could try that again.

I could apply for university jobs around the country. If i get one it would mean moving out of state and leaving my husband here. Keeping two apartments, commuting on weekends and pulling Grace out of her school and trying to find a new one that I could tolerate. Definitely not less stress!

Just thinking about it makes me want to take a vacation :)

A Band New Renewal

It is amazing how much a fill can spur on my motivation. The fill forces me to stop resting on my laurels and pay attention (again) to how much I should be eating and increases my need to be careful about what I am eating. Carbohydrates have to get shoved off my lazy menu and I have to think craftily about how I am going to insure that I eat enough fruits and vegetables along with enough grams of protein everyday. I have not been particularly good at staying hydrated. I am also going to have to work on more water and less tea and Diet Coke.

I have gone all domestic today and done a bit of cleaning and laundry. Additionally I pulled all of the wilting vegetables out of the fridge and threw together a beef stew that is simmering on the stove slowly all day. I made an apple pie to take over to a neighbors Guy Faulkes party tonight.

My New Band AKA Filled and Bruised

Yesterday I went in and talked to the Nurse Practitioner who attempted a fill but failed. She went and got my surgeon who tried and succeeded. He put in .6 cc's of additional fluid. I drank one small glass of water...went down fine. The second backed up. It was the strangest and pretty darned scary experience I have had yet with this band. The surgeon came back in and decided to try a poke while I was standing up (Oh did I say it hurt like hell when he jabbed the needle off my port over and over while trying to tense up my stomach laying down). Standing up was great! No pain and the needle went straight in this time. He decided to try it standing up because I was sure I could not manage to lay down in my panic to get the water down a hole that was closed tight! I asked him to leave the needle in after he deflated the band and put a little back in. I drank a cup of water with a needle sticking out of my side! This worked realllllllly well!! In the end I left the office with just .2ccs of additional fluid (something like 6.7cc's in all I think they said.

So I can definitely tell I am tighter. I am back to making mistakes in my food again (even though it is the same food I could eat two days ago). The grilled cheese is back to less than 1/2. I ate ice cream too fast (and yes I know I shouldn't even eat it)and barfed it all back up (this is something brand new for me!!). Fluids must be drunk slowly. A diet coke must be drunk verrrrrrrrry slowly. Tea on the tighter band feels niceeeeeee..

Between the port jabs and a year end blood draw I am bruised quite a bit and my side is killing me.

Today I had to drive to the other side of the state for meetings and observations and then home with swollen ankles and had to have more Skyped in meetings and disagreements between bosses and office mates and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to change what I am doing. I have worked in my current job on various grants for 10 years. This has been the longest term job I have ever held and I think, really think, it is time for me to change. Anyone have any good ideas? I like the idea of retirement. How about Italy in the Winter and hmm...I don't know where to go for Summer. I will write when I want. Quilt again, Home School Grace again, Cook only when I want to. Paint...Garden....Sleep.

San Francisco and Crazy Band Antics Du Jour

I'm back from San Francisco. It was a great time in which I took no pictures but will eventually get some from others who did. As usual I forgot my camera. The drive down was lovely. I checked out three book on CD from the library and listened to them.

On the way down was one written by a food critic living in France. I do not know why but since banding I care a whole lot more about listening to tales about food, food quality, and looking at food. I am sure my brain is fighting back in some way.

About two hours from my hotel I put in some romance-like Fern Michaels book. It was sappy but got me through the miles. I finished listening to the Fern Michaels book up on the first part of my drive home. Finally at about the Oregon border on my trip home I started the Alchemist's Daughter-It is pretty good. I have two CD's left to listen to and want to take a long drive so I can finish the darn thing.

Both going to and from California at the border was a demarcation line of sunshine that was very surreal. The sunshine and warmth was wonderful and I spent as much time as i could being out in in to chase away my early SADD feelings. Coming home the rain buckets started dumping again at the Oregon border and i was back to dismal old Oregon. California is looking great for a potential new home location as far as I am concerned after this trip.

While in San Francisco I took some of my colleagues up to Napa for the day and had a luxurious lunch at a 'French' restaurant at the Chandon winery. We had Sparkling wine (apparently they aren't allowed to call it champagne). It was yummyyyyyyyyy. I tried my first Oyster on a half shell. I chewed of course because i was scared to death I would have to hurl the thing back up again. It tasted like the sea smells and I will not eat another but it stayed down just fine. After tgat I had a cream soup and a small amount of strawberry tart for dessert. Both very delicious.

On day two we added another colleague and his 16 year old son from Ireland. We drove out to the coast and took a 4 or 5 mile walk up the beach collecting shells and sea glass and talked (I would say the best time I have ever had walking the beach). We finished our beach day with fish and chips and salads at a beach side cafe. In the evenings we went to the Italian restaurant and had lots of vodka and orange for me :) and wine and beer for the others.

The rest of the week we spent in conference sessions by day and dinner and socializing by night. I managed to get in one bike ride during the week but it was a great one. Right in front of the hotel where I stayed is a nature reserve that has paved trails for bikers and walkers. I rode as far as I could go and then turned around and came back but the weather, flat ground and lack of cars was wonderful. I envy them that trail.

I got home Thursday night and Grace waited up for me. She was happy to have me home. On Friday she had no school so she and I lounged around the house watching the 70's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Enchanted. She was tired because of her snuffly cold (thank goodness not the flu) and I was just tired. We had a good day. Later in the afternoon we went out for a protein smoothie and groceries so we had some dinner in the house.

Over the weekend we had workmen in to install all of the trim we have taken down during our never-ending remodel and began ripping out the final bathroom that needs a spruce up. We are hoping to list the house on the market next week (I am keeping the pressure on because if we don't get it up soon we can't put it on until after Winter).

Finally to my hurling story of the week-

I attended a state level meeting today for the grant program I am working on. I had no barf problems in San Francisco and have not really had one in more than a month. I might have had the need to spit a time or two because i overate but today was an oddity.

They served burrito fixings for lunch. I skipped the tortilla and selected one small chicken tender (it was not dry and came with plenty of liquid), 1/3 cup of refried beans and a scoop of sour cream. I cut and chewed the heck out of the chicken, ate the beans and thought I had done fine. After a little while I decided that I had perhaps eaten too much (although i had not eaten anywhere close to a full 1/2 cup of food). I had my office mate go with me to my car to feed the parking meter hoping that a good walk would dislodge whatever needed movement and get my stomach to empty a bit quicker. Well by the time I had fed the meter I knew I was not going to keep the lunch fully down. The parking garage was empty and my office mate said there is a garbage can if you need it (I needed it and thank goodness he is aware of my sometimes problems). I did a quick PB into the Garbage can and walked back with him to the office. I gave him a hard time that he was becoming my hurling demon as the last time i had a problem was on a road trip with him. I went back to the meeting and gradually knew i needed to go to the bathroom as I was not done being sick. Again thank goodness everyone was listening to a presentation and I had the bathroom to myself because i launched the lunch right on back up.

Well now after waiting for a fill for a month and being faffed about by the staff at the doctors office I am now hurling the day before a fill!! ON beans the consistency of pudding no less. I am going to talk it over with the nurse practitioner and see what she says but I think I am going to tough it out with another small fill and see how I go.

Sometimes things are a tad maddening with this band. No further weight loss and I am tightening up and loosening like crazy.