What a Difference Four Years Make!

Of course I will never be able to fully catch you up on what has been going on for four years but...

Don't believe the smile..I was hurting here!

The health and pain thing.  The Mayo Clinic refused me, I went to Seattle to the UW he felt that it was all in my head. I went to a lovely allergist who decided that allergy treatment was worth a shot (I did have some mild allergies related to grasses, Juniper and dust).  I went through 3/4 of a round of allergy shots but i became so inflamed that she said enough..no more and either that worked or whatever crap karma was floating around decided to give me a break because i got better.  I still have the occasional flair up but mostly things are good on the health front.

Weight loss was not so great over the 4 year period.  I blossomed up to 212.  Menopause hit fully and my youngest moved out to go to university.  In our new empty nest situation my husband embarked on his health.  His method is no nose dive in to research and doggedly make changes.  To his credit he lost about 70 pounds by cutting wayyy down on his intake of carbohydrates (and yes it is KETO but not the fat bomb, bullet proof coffee kind).  This is a very measured carefully concocted kind that does not grab any old off the shelf KETO branded piece of junk.  It has been crafted by data, eating real food, and most recently fasting.


2016

He carried on his merry way and I would give it a whirl briefly until another delectable dessert temptation came along and fall off the wagon.  I of course would tell him that after two or three weeks on program that nothing was working for me and i might as well enjoy myself if I was going to have to live at this uncomfortable 212 for the rest of my life. It was not all gloom..during the two years of on again off again trying I did manage to gradually take off 13 pounds.









2017


2018

May-July 10, 2019

Then we took a long trip around the world.

Because we were together 24/7 we did an eating plan I would call Keto light.  OK really we ate mostly good food with carbs.  If the country we were in ate rice we had a bit but not all of it.  If we were in a coffee shop where I could no way drink caffeine unless it came with some sugar-I drank it.  If there was a dessert we wanted we ate it.  but each sugar, carb or pastry lapse was measured. We also walked...and walked...and walked.  averaging 15k steps a day for 6 weeks straight.
                                                         Pizza in Italy


July 11, 2019
We came home and neither of us had gained any weight but we both vowed to hit this low carb thing hard for a solid period of time and get this weight off.  We loved our trip and did not want to come home.  It reinforced for me that I want the weight off not for the clothes and not for the fun but for the health.  I want to go travel the world many more times and I do not want ill health or fatigue to get in my way.

Hitting it hard for me means black iced tea, 3 tbl. cream and sugar free vanilla sweetener for breakfast.  A piece of cheese or tuna salad and salad for lunch.  More tea mid-afternoon and then whatever hubby cooks for dinner with salad.
(he cooks meat..and only meat).  In the evening I have either whole fat yogurt with a sprinkle of berries or another iced tea concoction.

I dropped faster than ever before but hitting 194. I have always stopped and I did again..bouncing back up to 198. This beastly frustration when I had done everything I was supposed to was super disheartening.  Hubby talked me into attending the Ancestral Health Conference with him in San Diego a two weeks ago.  The mostly high quality research oriented presentations were not only inspiring but packed with a whole line of research that I had not ever really heard before.

My Husband Was Right! (You have no idea how much this pains me to say :))..

What I learned:

In the early 1900's the food industry decided that machine oil would make a great source of fat for us and turned machine oil into fake lard (crisco), fake butter (margarine), and vegetable oils.  They had to create a special chemical process to get said short-shelf-life oils to not go rancid and to make them palatable but they pulled it off.  the resulting chemical mixtures were ill suited to humans and screwed with our intestinal linings setting us up for all kinds of diseases (this actually might be the reason many of us even became obese in the first place!)

bad fat leads to... leaky gut

which leads to... intolerances of carbohydrates
which leads to ...our livers squirting out extra insulin
which leads to... inflammations which leads to diseases.

So..how do you fix it? and why did my compliance with low carb eating not work right away?

You have to fix the leaky gut and any imbalances in your microbiome (flora and fauna in the intestinal region..or as hubby and I like to say...butt gackteria).

At the conference the scary word came up a few times...FAST...this is not the kind that means quick instead that is...STOP EATING.  We decided on our way back home that we were going to do it.  My frustrations and he had come upon a plateau in his loss spurred us on. Hubby and I planned a three day fast.  Only plain coffee, water, or tea (no extra gunk) for three days.  We did include magnesium and potassium  (and boy howdy was that a life saver).

We stopped eating at 6pm Sunday evening.

For three days..I woke up and made a glass of iced tea with  half a packet of potassium and magnesium).  drank a second glass with the other half a packet,  I then drank iced tea every time I wanted or felt hungry (mostly wanted).  If I felt at all slightly woozzy or tired I would mix in another half of a packet of the magnesium/potassium.  Before bed I had a glass of water and measured my ketosis (pee strip).  during the fast I went from a medium ketosis up to second to the highest.  My Post ketosis readings have been second from the highest to yesterday hit the highest marker).

It was rather easy!  I cannot believe it as I am a girl who has never been able to fast.  I did not have to before my lapband.  I did not have to really even for my colonoscopy.  each of those times i could have any clear liquid i wanted (broth, jello etc.) . This three day jobber was amazing.  I did not push walking my 10k steps.  I did about 5k per day.  I went from 196 to 193 in three days.  Losing is good :)!  Then we broke our fast Wednesday at 5:30 (Hubby cracked).  The next morning I hit 192. Then 191.4, then 190.6.  I am still hoping to crack 190 but we have both decided we are going to fast again for three days starting Sunday for round two (yes that is how easy this was!!)

Here are links to the videos I have been watching both for motivation and research (because I like both of course). I got to meet Tommy Wood in San Diego (super nice and well-read dude).

Benjamin Bikman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3fO5aTD6JU
Tommy wood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd5Ph5Ofc7Y
Dr. Jason Funk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIuj-oMN-Fk&t=35s
Professor Tin Noakes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horIrfmLvUY
L. Amber O'Hearn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX4qsJd_Plc

If all goes to plan I should be back at goal by Christmas.  I will make sure and post before then :)

A Good Day

Today was good.  I am not sure if it was my attitude, just random good day or the new meds having a super human quick acting impact.

My doldrums yesterday may have been the result of proximal PMS.  When I complained to my dear daughter that for some reason the 'illness' had gone to my brain and I spent the morning doing the wheepy thing.  She said.."ha mom your right on schedule.  I woke up this morning with cramps."  Now I am on the final run to menopause (4 months and counting).  When I told a long time menopaus-er about this she snorted and said that just because the periods stop does not mean the emotional rollercoaster does..Geezz :).  Who holds all of these menopause secrets anyway?

I started the new medication.  a tasteless colorless ampule of liquid.  I just have a drink of water with the stuff in it.  Wait around for 20 min or so and eat or drink a meal.  I felt like I was taking a placebo really.  I have no idea if it is working but I feel good today.  Hopefully this is from the meds but the box says it can take several weeks to make a difference.

I got things done today-post office run, bank run, crochet for a pattern in the morning. :) Much more positive outlook than I had yesterday.

Interesting How Frustration Brings on the URGE to Blog.

I just got off the telephone with the Mayo Clinic.  What is wrong with our Medical care system???   I know I should be grateful that I have the means/insurance to go anywhere for care but PULEASE..can we at least be clear about procedures in writing?


I am sure a back-up and fill in is required here.


Since last May the pain cycle has just been one continuous pain in my backside.  lymph swelling, pain moves fro hands, the neck, to shoulder, to stomach, to hips, to legs and even my brain at time (if my grouchy factor is anything to go on).  My GP has decided the prognosis is Mastocytosis.  Basically that means I am allergic to myself :)  well really all kinds of things.  Apparently how this condition works is that my bone marrow makes too many mast cells.  These guys hang around on the walls of my veins waiting to be called into action and then go on a kamakaze mission to take out whatever intruder shows up in my body.  The problem is because there are so many whenever I get the tiniest twinge of an intruder they go to work.

Because there are so many of these mast cells the bomb that goes off is bigger than it should be hence all of my lymp glands and stuff go into overdrive.  When the mast cells die the do something called degranulation.  This relases several substances one of which is histamine.  The rest of them are apparently unknown but they know there are a lot of those others.  The treatment is anti-histamine.  The problem is...guess what Tina is allergic to?  yup..Benadryl an anti-histamine.  There are others but I am a tad scared to try them.  My daughter takes one-I tried it.  My reaction was not as bad as Benadryl but it was a smaller version (twitchy like I had had 5-6 coffees and nerve spasms).  Additionally It didn't really cut the swellng/pain any.   I opted not to repeat it.  My GP has now suggested I try cromolyn.  This one is apparently a mast cell stabalizer. She called in a prescription and that is the plan for tomorrow's pharmacological experiment.  The pharmacy did not keep it in stock thus I hae to wait two days to get it.

The GP also suggested  I go to the Mayo Clinic where they are well versed in treating this problem. Now we get to the fun part.  She suggested I call and make an appointment for myself.   So I called..
Although their webpage says a patient does not need a doctor referral when you call to make an appointment guess what they require?  Of course..a referral.  So then I had to wait a week (because my doctor is good and gets you in) to talk to my doctor and then another week for her to get all of her paperwork together (it is approx 3 inches thick).  She then handed it back to me to send off.  Today I called to get specific delivery instructions and the woman on the phone said,  "oh your doctor has got to send the paperwork."  I kind of lost it in frustration and asked her what difference it makes...she provided no reponse just repeated.  The doctor has got to send it.  I said I have the referral..i have my records just tell me where to send it.  The woman repeated, "the doctor has got to send it....gahhhhhh. Is she really worried that I am some sort of a psycho record maker-upper patient?

Dear Mayo Clinic,

What the heck is your problem?  Your webpage clearly states that patients do not need a referral.  Is this a lie? When a patient is seeking treatment do you really think they feel good enough to mess with your clearly conflicting chain of command demands?  Can you please put a clear set of instructions on your webpage or at least talk to your PR people and make sure they understand that the medical care system is not patient driven and never will be easy, clear cut or straight forward?

Sincerely,

Tina

A patient who has been in pain now for over a year, has been to see a crap ton of doctors and been poked a crap ton more.  She is not looking forward to more and is therefore not faking.

oh.. and she is at the end of her rope of patience

UPDATE on Weightloss:

Oh hey-I am now down to 192.  My ticker is broken but slowy losing weight.  Apparently weight loss is a side effect of this stuff.  Ha..first a gain because I thought it was the lapband giving me problems and now that I have a partial fill again all of the stomach junk does indeed make me want to give up food for good.  Can someone live on fluids?  I am ready to try.

I had a second visit with the endocrinologist.  I have decided he is rather crap.  He added another anti-seizure drug to the speed that I was taking.  I took it for approx. 2 days.  Prozac was a better weight loss drug that this kitchen lab mix.  Perhaps it is because I have so much else going on but I really didn't need to add those two crazy things to this mess that is my health.

Additionally I have decided I really don't like the guy.  Sure I am willing to put up with that if he helps but I have had it up to my eyeballs with specialists that are so busy they cannot get you in in a reasonable amount of itme (6 months between visits when he said I should come in every 3) and then when I am in the office he doesn't care if I might have conflicting health issues.  he wanted to hand out another set of drugs and send me on my way.  No thanks..I still miss my original lapband guy..sniff sniff.

UP and Down and Around

I am fed up with the illness gig.  a couple of weeks ago half of my toes on my right food went numb.  This occured sometime during the night as I woke up with them that way.  They are not quite as dead as the one on my left foot.  Those lost feeling several years ago.  They are still though..not with full feeling.  Rather tingly I guess is the best thing I can say.

Two days ago my hands spazzed out again and I am back to waking up with them folded close in a very awkward way.  I wake up in the middle of the night with sharp pains that feels like I am getting a nail spiked through the middle of my palm.  I loosens up in the morning so that I can use it for the most part but still hurts.  I am back to taking an Alieve in the morning.  By 3 pm the pain starts up again.  The past two days I have popped a second one.

The weight-went back up to 204 but lo and behold yesterday had dropped back to 202.  This go round  I can feel my clothing get looser but..it is not budging over my belly.

My trainer guy left town to take a vacation, cycle in a race and see his daughter.  I have not worked out in 7 days (and yes I know I can work out on my own..I am LAME).  I have walked a bit.

I am trying a week without wheat to see if that helps my hands.  If I can manage a week I will do a second.  Oh and yes..the pain could be coming back because I quit exercising.  I am just going to try both at the same time and see what happens.

Down 2 :)

Just a quick update.  I popped on the scale and was down 2 pounds.  I am really surprised because frankly I have gotten used to the stability that 204 had become.  I am not complaining that is for sure :).

Today was pretty good.  Just a bit of hand pain and numb toes.  I took a single alieve and was good for the day.  Sooo much better than last week.

A Little Roller Coastering

Nothing lasts forever right?  Since I last posted I have ridden that ride back into a pain-from-hell and now apparently back into a pretty good place.  I am actually pretty happy it was a short trip (much shorter than the last session at any rate.

Around about a week and a Half to two weeks ago the almost pain free thing switched and I started getting some pretty bad stomach issues (gas, bloating, and the the poo was not its normal self).  I chalked it up to a bit of food poisoning or something and carried on.  So did the tummy thing and at the same time my lymph nodes really swelled up painfully.  The arm pain returned and my feet joined in with numbness every morning.  Needless to say I felt a little bit panicked at this point.

I got in to see my new regular G.P.  and we talked about this ongoing, never ending, never figured out ailment cycle.  She poked and prodded as they always do and then sent me off for more blood tests.  I reiterated my concerns about Lupis because of the family history and asked her what the odds were that my tests could have read as a false negative thing.  She assuremed me that more than one had been run and both read negative. So..we know its not Lupis.

The doctor asked me to go get a blood test (yes more).  When the order came David and I spent  a while looking up what all the tests were and what they were for.  Basically it was the fullmeal deal.  She is/was testing from liver problems to Kidney, to blood cancer and so on.  She says that after these come back she will decide whether I will need to do a 24 hour urine test (yet another way to check my chemical junk).  I am still waiting for blood results.  I am sure some of these have already been done but hey..if she finds something (that isn't too bad of course) than I am game.

By Wednesday I was in agony-peak tummy, lymp, no sleep pain-o-rama. I went in for a second visit to the massage therapist and he was so nice..did the lymph draino thing and said he wished a couple of times he could work it all out.  The morning of the massage I did not take any allieve but I felt so bad even right away after the massage I took the pain killer while walking back to my house. At that point I decided that perhaps the morning Mango, Carrot smoothie was impacting these things as it was the only thing that was different in anyway from before.

 and..on Thursday...

I Went back to a single tall latte for breakfast.  Back in the the coffee and out with the healthy (pseudo) protein and fruit int he morning.  I was pretty quickly better in the stomach department and by today (Saturday)  I am feeling MUCH better.  I had my now regular massage and felt great!  I did a whole bunch of running aroud dong errands and got tired but Grace the 13 year old was tired too :) so I figure we just did a whole bunch :).

I am popping back on to add to this.  It is Sunday morning.  I feel pretty good.  Since morning is when the pain tis is usually at its worst I can say the symptoms are OK-a bit of hand pain, my toes are numb on both feet but it is all tolerable enough that I don't feel the need to swallow a bottle of pain pills :)

weight and fitness update:  I have not lost anymore.  I am still sticking around the 204 mark.  My fitness is still improving though as the  massage therapist moved up to the third floor of the building he rents in.  I ran up those three flights yesterday with him to the office and guess who was breathing heavy and who was not breathing heavy.  I love out fitnessing a young guy :)  It is really good for this old lady's ego.

Progress

This time around seems soooo slow but I am relatively happy thus far.


The physical training is continuing.  After my six weeks my trainer repeated his evaluation and I lost 8 or so pounds in the 6 weeks.. This loss did not read as fat the scale thingy indicated it was all muscle.  The trainer and I know that was not so thus we concluded that the scale failed to see the lovely organ fat that I probably lost.

My measurement changes were pretty wonderful-with a good 4 inches in my wait (my waist is the bane of my existence).  this waist thing bothers my newest doctor too (apparently) I drew this conclusiong from the number of times he waved his hand at my waist and commented on how us peri and post menopausal women must suffer from it.


I managed to do several more repetitions than I did on the first day and I ran around the entire park (without dieing).  The park is 1/3 of a mile and given that I have never been a runner I was pretty proud of myself.

Since the six week mark I have met with the trainer 3 more times and he is working me a little harder (I am not sure how I feel about this).  On Friday I manageded to run almost 1 mile during the hour workout.  My trainer Martin is pretty cool actually as he runs with me and does it nice and slow (even though I know he is gagging to do it at his normal pace).  After one lap he forces me to do stair steps, work out my arms with big old rubber band thingies and do sit-ups and then another lap..and then after more arm bending and steppy upping we run yet a third lap.  We did some stretching too (beginning and end).


I am now down to about 204-206 (depending on the day and the water bloat).  I would dearly love to get past that evil 200 mark again soon.

Pain?  well it is almost gone.  I am not sure what did it-as the exercise has got to be helping.  I am still getting one massage a week.  They are now prescribed by my doctor.  The masseuse does lymphatic draining methods to help employ out my hands (the main ones are just below your clavicle).  I also get my back, neck and shoulders massaged too-

Finally I have been trying to eat better.  Still no coffee!!!

In all I feel heaps better and whatever caused it as long as it keeps improving I am OK with that and will keep doing my part to build muscle and stay healthy.  The hands have only slightly ached at any given time and once when I sat down on the floor I had difficulty pushing off with my hands to get up.  I think I am going to do more of that..perhaps in this last 6-7 months my muscles have just weakened too much.

Finally-today I went curling!  one of my customers (neighbor and friend too!)  Curls with her husband so she invited a bunch of us down to learn to play.  It is pretty hard work and difficult to stretch out and push the stone off.  All together 9 couples come out to play.  Although I was sad he couldn't play one of the husbands had an injury and had to sit out and watch.  Thankfully he used this time to snap a couple of photos of us-

 I am holding my broom ready to sweep in front of the stone to keep it moving down the lane.

all of the group learning how to push the stone.  (it is a very difficult crouching position to get into).  I opted to use a push stick this time but I think I am going to practice with socks on my dining room floor so that I can manage it next time on ice.

Finally a Little Movement

This morning the scale provided me with a little gem..210.  I will take it.  This round is much more difficult than the first time.  It feels like each victory is so long in the making.

The newness of the medication is wearing off.  I am still having the forgetful issues but felt a whole lot less jittery yesterday and slept in until 8:55!  I was of course supposed to be with the trainer at 9.  I dashed out of bed and thankfully we met in the park across the street so I was just a few minutes late. I was not the chipper person I was on Wed.  but Martin made me jog! and do all sorts of painful things.  I managed almost half way around.  Given that I have never been a runner this was a bit of a victory for me.

After the workout I had a meeting with my store bookkeeper (I love her!  I am not an organized person and she is getting me in line).  We went over the books.  I grabbed some missing statements and invoices and then she, Grace and I went to the bank and packed up a box of wholesale yarn to deliver to a local yarn store.  After that the three of us went to my favorite yarn store (well ok second favorite now as I have to like my own best).  We also checked out a bead store and had lunch at a local coffee/cafe that I like.

Since I own a yarn store I do not get out as much as i would like to other stores.  It was nice to see what other people had, how they laid out their stores and look at their kits and samples.

I was pretty hungry yesterday still-Breakfast was a bottle of water, mango orange smoothie (with no banana).  Have I ever said how much I HATE a banana in a smoothie?  Luch a chicken, gorgonzola and apple salad (I ate the chicken and a few bits of apple and one piece of lettuce).  I had 1/3 of a ginger molasses cookie.  I had an evening group in the shop so I had 1/2 a glass of wine, 4 chocolate covered almonds, and 1/2 cup of rice pudding after I was finished then bed.

Hand hurt more than usual today.  Not enough to take an Alieve but they ached most of the afternoon.    I have been too busy to knit so not much of that has been happening.

A bit of a shift today.

Like yesterday I popped wide awake shortly after 5am today.  I did a little computer work and surfing.  I got out of bed and went to the coffee shop for my morning smoothie and then did some bank tagging (that tax deadline is looming and I do not have my ducks in a row yet).

at 9:45 I did a couple of errands in the neighborhood and as I was already hungry again had another smoothie.  Back to the store and I continued to work on the banking stuff and other paperwork between customers plus pick up things post yarn crawl.  The funny thing is..I was soon hungry again. This time at 1:30.  Grace left a half of a piece of pizza downstairs in the shop. I did not plan on eating it but the temptation was too great.  I ate it.  In the evening I had yet a third smoothie and at 8:30 closed the shop and had half a bean, cheese and sour cream burrito that grace made.

The funny thing is now at 10pm I am hungry again.  hmmm..

I was still pretty jittery today and forgetful.  A couple of times I walked from one room to the next and forgot what I was in the new room for.  I forgot numbers between the item and the register.  All a bit odd given that yesterday and the day before I felt so sharp and un-hungry.

The doctor said give it two weeks and two weeks I am going to keep going and see what happens.

I forgot to weigh myself this morning.  I will do it tonight and perhaps update.

Day 2

Day 2:

Holy moly not feeling hungry is CRAZYYYY.  Day two and I am still jaw seizing jittery.  I do rather like the energy as one commenter stated yesterday and I LOVE with double hearts that lack of hunger.  Today I had my morning smoothie and sipped water all day.  I just sat down to a couple of slices of cheese.  I was done with it before my band told me to.  Now:  Is this what the other people feel?  Is this what I have been missing?  Man o man I wish I could have that feeling all of the time.

The same post-er said that the feeling fades in a couple of weeks :(  I am not sure I am happy about this.

I worked out with the trainer guy I hired for my birthday.  He has been evicted from the garage he works at so we did our thing in the local park.  I will have him snap a photo on Friday so you can see what it looks like-and how I look like hell :).  We did a lot of work with the bands, some stair steps and this one move that I HATE where he had me stand on the band with both feet and then side walk pushing against the band.  My shoes kept getting stuck in the band and it was not fun.  Thankfully Martin (that is his name) changed things and let me do something else.  We finished up with crunches in the garage and a quick stretch and I was done.  I am hoping to rope a few other people in the neighborhood to share expenses with me so I can keep doing it twice a week.


I then dashed home to open the store.  I had a couple of packages to post.  Customers were filing in (this should not be happening as there should be post yarn crawl lull and Wednesdays are usually quiet).  I had a friend come in and there were times when both of us were needed to deal with customers.

I left my friend in the store and did a quick run to the mailman, the bank, accountant and ahhh a massage :)  I have been going once a week for about two months now (thankfully our insurance account covers it).  It has helped but not cured my hand problem.  Then it was back to the store more customers, more paperwork and then time to close.

I am now upstairs coercing my 13 year old to actually do the homework she is assigned..gah :) can I take a nap yet?

I will weigh tomorrow ...I hope its good news.

Endo-Hunger

Wow-

So much has happened in the last few days I am having trouble figuring out what order to write it down.  Add to this the fact that it is 4:51 in the morning and I am laying wide awake is probably not helping my brain organization.  Lets go back to Thursday.

Thursday:  The yarn crawl started off with a bang.  The store was packed and things were crazy busy but I took off on time to see the endocrinologist.  I took a little close your eyes nap in the waiting room while I waited a half an hour to get in to see him.  My expectations were rather small as 1.  I was too busy to read up on him ahead of time and 2.  I was still super annoyed at the scheduling snafu.  I was pleasantly surprised instead.  He first asked me why I was there...um  given my morning and my little waiting room nap...I was left speechless.  I pulled a poorly why don't you tell me what you do routine and he did the talking and questioning after that.

He went through the stuff that I know but always sinks  in my mind to a doubtful self-loathing when the weight is piling on and I know I have eaten things I shouldn't.

• Your obesity is 80% genetics
• we know that even when you do the right things, have surgery etc. your body fights to get back to the weight it thinks you should be at.

He also talked about new stuff they have learned in the last five years:

• Menopause is evil (he didn't say that but..he implied it)
• the hormonal drop screws with your weight gain.
• the hormonal drop causes weight gain on a woman's waistline (of course he had to wave his hand at my tubby waist every time he brought this up)

He said I had done incredibly well with my lap band

• he explained the results of the LABS study (in generalities) that I was a participant in and they were so bad that they were no longer installing lap bands at the hospital.
• he explained how some studies use the term %of weight loss but that term is the result of a specific formula.  the BMI weight expectations and then percent of the desired loss..as a side note: So one of the main studies I read before surgery said the average lap band patient loses 50% of excess weight.  he said this translated to 20% of body weight.  While I was there I took all this in but after thinking about it later it seems like the European study is a more reasonable way to look at it-sure I lost 50% of my body weight with the band but more importantly I hit goal or I lost 100% of the weight i wanted to lose.  Seems like that second number is more important but who the heck knows what those bariatric types prefer.  Right now I am sitting better than the European study average-50% of excess and I am at 90 lbs lost or 60% (Now don't get me wrong-I am not satisfied with this).

He went through what he could do for me and this blasted weight gain that is apparently the result of:  the unfill, my bodies desire to be a bouncing 300 pounds again and the dreaded peri-menopause girth gain.

•  He said that there are drugs..the cheapest is the one he started me on-half of the fen fen debacle is just fen :) don't ask me to spell there rest of the title.  
• He said the drugs work on my brain to stop telling me I am so hungry.
• He listed the side effects:  thirst, might feel like I have had 9 cups of coffee.  Might not be able to sleep.
• He said these side effects will get better after two weeks or so.
• I asked him what I should do if they were really bad-He said drop to a half a pill for a week and ramp up.

He said come see him in 3 months-I snorted at this-and then reminded him of the difficulties that he had in getting me an appointment in the first place.  He actually apologized for the debacle and said his staff dropped the ball.  I jokingly said I would probably see him in July.  He responded-well don't make an appointment at the beginning of the month as I will likely cancel it (he was joking but in a serious as a heart attack way).  

I left with my shiny prescription in tow and tried to make that appointment at the front desk..they said call as they could not make one.  I headed back to the zoo that was my store (a good zoo but a zoo). and kept that prescription in my pocket until Monday.  

Monday:  I called with a second attempt to make an appointment.  August is the soonest I can be seen (snort..I knew it).  The appointment taker said she would put me on a wait list for a cancellation.  If this guy isn't good (and he is looking good right now) he is definitely popular.

I filled the prescription at Walgreens and bought a pint of ice cream (my favorite peanut butter cup).  Why you might ask..because I am that stupid?  I think I had a very strong case of Last Supper syndrome.  I ate the ice cream last night and took my first pill this morning.

• It tastes VILE.  Like tylonol on steroids.  Thankfully the pills are tiny and I could wash it down whole and quickly.
• I am rather sensitive to medications and I felt it hit in about an hour.  slightly energized and a tiny bit nauseous. Definitely not hungry.
• The doctor said:  Do not eat unless you are really hungry. If that means you do want not eat all morning or afternoon than don't.  That is how these work.  I wasn't hungry!!
• I am still not really hungry but I figured that after I finished with my night group in the store that I should eat something so I had hubby make me an egg.  I ate 80% of the egg with cheese on it.  It was good.  I left the last bit not because my band said..hang on stop or your gonna pay.  I stopped because I just didn't want anymore of the darned egg (wahooooo).  How coolarific is that!

Ok..fast forward to 5:20 am.  Um..side effect has appeared.  I am wide awake sitting up in my dark room.  My husband is snoring and my jaw is tight-you know..one of those oh crap I should not have had that venti latte at 8:30pm feelings?  I had 0 caffeine today but...the jaw :) and my eyes are stuck in the open position.  I am also rather thirsty.  The good news is I brought a bottle of water to bed with me (for once in my life planning ahead).

soo..all the other junk screw it! :) I feel a positive phase of weight-loss coming on at least.  Just so I have a record somewhere (although I love the comments and the knowledge that someone out there reads this)  this blog is AWESOME as a record of all of my health junk.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have referenced it before an appointment so I get my dates right.  soo..I am going to do the health update.

menopause-the once every two week thing has delayed another week thus far.  wahooo.  small things.  I can handle that as I still feel good.  just no bi-weekly period.

hands-well I am sure it was the meds that actually woke me up but the throbbing finally made me sit up and pull out my computer at 4:30am.  they are currently working but poofy and the blood vessels on them are popped up like a body builder.  I laid with my eyes closed but awake for a half an hour contemplating whether I should keep trying to find out why they hurt of just deal with it as my little curse to bear forever more.  Goodness knows the pursuing didn't yield anything.

well I had better try at least a little more sleep-it is training day so I have an hour to exercise this morning and then a short day in the shop!

Update:  Dream on..no sleep here.  I am getting up at 7:12.  Sleepy time is definitely done for me tonight..this morning..err whatever.

Photos? what photos?

Valentines day is my birthday too.  That makes a high bar for my husband to reach.  On the other hand he has no excuse to forget either my birthday or valentines day. :)  Well this year I switched a tables on him a bit.  He booked a table at a nice restaurant downtown (http://higginsportland.com).  I on the other hand had plans of my own.two summers ago David lost his wedding ring.  He lost some weight but failed to get his rings resized and vavoom his wedding ring fell off never to be found.  Well I found an exact replacement a few months ago and the plan was to take him downtown and order the thing (with proper sizing this time).  We did and he is now wearing his proper wedding ring and not the nasty old thing we used as a replacement until now.

As he did not find any birthday presents for me (lets face it I already own all of the yarn I need and I do not want to buy clothes because I have my favorite size 10 wardrobe just waiting for me in my closet upstairs).  He planned on wandering around the shops and getting some inspiration with me along.  We ended up buying him a pair of shoes.  I didn't find anything I fancied.  Honestly the trainer is costing a pretty bundle and it is the right gift for me-a bit of health right?

We had dinner at Higgins (it was OK but more of a carnivores kind of place-again David was in heaven).  So..my birthday turned into a bit of a romantic day for the hubby and I am totally OK with that.

I have not yet gotten another fill.  The hospital apparently made me an appointment but didn't ever call to tell me they did so..thus I missed it on Feb 13?  Who knew?  I called them and said I would definitely not be paying for that one.  I also had a long awaited endocrinologists appointment that my nurse practicioner recommended.  I made it in Jan for the first part of march (yes his waiting list is that long).  Two days before the appointment I had a confirmation call.  Then at 6pm the night before the appointment I got a call stating that my appointment was cancelled and that they had tried to call me in Jan to reschedule--uh..nope no phone call.  I called them back and was not a happy camper.  They said the next available appt. was in JULY!

I forcefully-while bawling-told the poor receptionist that this was recommended by the doctors colleague and that as 'you' were the one to cancel and now I have to wait another 5 months I don't think that is reasonable..etc.  They called back and got me in for tomorrow at noon.

Now get this..once a year in the yarn shop we have this big event.  4 days out of the entire year and all 16 yarn stores put on a special weekend with trunk shows and sales and special designs etc.  Well guess what tomorrow is?  you guessed it the first day of that special.  Thankfully I have REALLY awesome customers/friends/helpers who happened to be in the car when I got the phone call.  They both told me to keep the appointment and they would man the store along with the other umpteen volunteers and my hubby and artists and that I should go to the appointment.  I hope all goes well both at the doctors and in the shop.  I really have no idea what I am in for.

 The yarn store is all gussied up for the Rose City Yarn Crawl event-Here are a few photos.

The front wall-We call it the wall of shawls. On the right is the wall of hats.

That back room-this is where the trunk shows are set up/partially set up for tomorrow-Sun.

Update on the training stuff:  I am getting stronger the first couple of weeks were painful..i could barely walk.  Now I am a little sore the day of my training session but the next day I am fine again.  We worked on my back today.  Apparently I have decently strong legs and arms and abdomon but my back is really weak.  Perhaps this is from all of those months where I spent most of my evenings in bed last year? Again back to the hands-as that is my barometer of health.  They still ache.  I have been going to a massage therapist who seems to make a difference.  They are not nearly as much of a problem unless i try to open bottles/jars.  and comb my hair when it is wet.  I can again pinch my laptop and put it down on the floor :)  My rings fit off an on now too.

At 213 and holding but not with my hands!

My new burst of weightloss-prompted by a new fill and a renewed strict avoidance of sugary coffee and baked good eating allowed me to lose to 213 and come to stop.  My nurse practitioner is no out on maternity leave and although she told me to make another appointment before I left her staff minions refused.  They said they would call me and make one and of course they did not.  I am not sure I need another fill yet anyway.   The restriction is great.

 As I said last time I feel great in general.  This Estrogen is brilliant (naturally made by me with no additives) but alas I have now had two periods in a month and I worry that I am on a slippery slope back to where I was last summer.  I have yet another gynecologist recommendation but am going to hold off and see what happens a little longer because I feel good and I don't want to mess that up.

My hands are up and down still.  Painful and swollen by night and morning and usually fine all day.  The last two days a contemplated a little pain medicine around noon because the pain was lingering a little too long.  I held off and they eventually got better.  Today my rings are off because I could not get them on over my knuckle.

A new thing:  This morning I consulted with a personal trainer.  Perhaps increasing my fitness might help with the pain?  or at least the weightless right?  He is a small independent guy who works out of a garage near my house.  He has a pretty cool gym set up in the garage and then he takes people out for aerobic stuff-like walking, running etc.  I am trying him out for 6 weeks-two hours per week.  It will be interesting to see what happens (good? bad? painful?? :)

I have a very romantic Valentines day planned :)  I will put up some photos perhaps on Sat.

 

Yeah Baby

Well when the scale finally shows movement silly old problems like not being able to use your hands (good in the afternoon positively dire at night and morning) don't really matter.  Just call me T-Rex baby :)  roooar.

From 222 to 215 this week.  I shall return my lovely wardrobe in the closet.  
http://trextrying.tumblr.com/image/78244065222
xxxooo

Backslide

I feel better.  In fact there was a day or two this month where I could really say I felt great.  Sure my hands still hurt but I had a sense of well-being that I had not felt in a long time.  A spring in my step so to speak.

Well..I guess that was the estrogen.  Funny how hormones work.  Mine came back full force and it felt good until..the period started.  4 days and counting.  I am not sure if this is going to be another long term problem or not. I have an ominous feeling but and trying to stay calm.  In the mean time I cracked out the iron tablets again.

I went in after the latest set of blood tests and...Nothing...She only found that I have very young (aka immature) blood cells.  Via the docs translation and the webs I seem to be bleeding somewhere or something is damaging my adult blood cells.  Of course this does not seem to be a solution as to why my hands hurt but hey..I should be used to that right?

Now onto the hands..they go up and down.  last week I had two days where the damn things were darned near useless.  I have manage to figure out how to knit but I cannot open bottles, pull up my comforter at night, get up if sitting ton the floor..anything that requires a pull or push with the hands.

Thursday was a great day hand wise so I rearranged my shop (with lots of help) and I thought I was going to pay the price for that little stunt..but nope.  The hands have been pretty good all weekend. Just a little stiffness in the mornings and then find most of the day.  They feel pretty good right now except right on my middle knuckles (just a little stiff when I bend them).

Weight-hasn't moved much.  I hover at 219.  Some of it is my stupidity and eating stuff I should not but..I do miss that not hungry feeling that seems to have deserted me.  It is a huge battle not to eat right before bed right now as I am hungry-want the food-but then pay the acidy price if I do.  Rather frustrating!

Next on the list in my medical mystery tour is:  colonoscopy (damn damn damn), and she said something about an nerve electricity test.

Just Another Day

And we come up towards the end of 2014.  Time really does fly doesn't it?  How many years has it been since I installed what my friends call this 'after market add on?"  How many years have I been a mother?  How many years since the weekend I met a bunch of crazy lap band ladies in Chicago?  How many years?

This year has been a struggle health-wise.  One of the benefits of running a yarn store is all of the ladies who come in.  They come in all shapes, forms ages and personalities and overall this diversity makes me grateful for my life.  Some are suffering some have already been through this hell that my menopause has become for me.  They are supportive and sometimes trying :) but overall wonderful to know and learn from.

I went in for another run at blood tests.  My records have all been sent to the new primary care doctor.  Fingers crossed something changes for 2015 health wise.

In the mean time I plan on re-attacking my health in the ways I do have some control over.  Eating right, vitamins, exercise.  Bring it on.

xxoo

A big catch up-Problems but better.

I like lists so this is coming as a list:

1.  I have had several once every two week fills.  I am up to somewhere around 8cc's again.  Finally this last one I have real restriction again and the scale has stopped its upwards spiral and has turned down again.  I have been here before and had it all fade away in a couple of weeks but..my top weight was 222 at my last visit.  I am as of today down to 218.  This regain SUCKS and no matter how good I feel like I am being with the food the weight has come on.  I am assuming that just one or two bites different per meal has meant the difference in daily calories.
  With this new fill I am finally back to feeling very little hunger.  I had my morning coffee yesterday (and it has been WAYY scaled back to a late with coconut milk) and felt no hunger until 2pm.  Can I hear a whoopppp whoop! :) I had a small yogurt and a small dinner (plain old beef and one slice of cheese) and I was good for the rest of the evening.

2.  I have had an iron infusion, a B-12 shot and am finally feeling energetic again. No periods so apparently the menopause is (cross your fingers) complete.  Now I am battling the hand pain and weakness only. I have had two massages.  The second one with a new guy helped a whole bunch!  I had a day with just a small amount of hand pain and I took no pain meds all day.  I could not get back into this particular massage therapist until after Christmas so I have to sit out and wait now.  I finally called again because I developed this back pain that felt like my head was being pulled down into my shoulder.  I do not know if the back thing is causing the hand thing or the hand thing has caused the back thing or if they are unrelated.  In either case the result was totally worth it.

3.  I had some questions about the nature of the pain-my hands are mostly painful at night.  I wake up and they throb with my finger joints swelled up and painful to bend.  During the day my finger joints loosen up but the pain moves into my wrists.  I cannot open most jars or bottles and I cannot use my hands to pull up or push up when I get in and out of chairs.  Shaking hands with someone is sometimes agonizing.  So much so that I sometimes just have to say no..I cannot.  I have changed how I brush my hair holding the brush and moving my whole arm.  Hence my question as to whether the hands caused the back pain or vice-versa.

4.  I went to a rheumatologist about the hand pain.  He did all of the blood tests gave me a different 750mg NSAID drug that had little effect.  It worked no better really than the aleive. He took blood.  When i did the 30 day follow up visit (I hate the f-ing waiting by the way).  nothing really had changed and he found nothing in the blood work.  I was so annoyed..it feels like at times that doctors are lazy or they are just not as good as I build them up to be.  If there is nothing in a blood test they have no f-ing clue and send you away for another waiting period.  This time he said go home take your alieve for 2 months and come back.  I so wanted to tell him where to shove it.

5.  I have changed General doctors.  She is my neighbor and I have up until how held off changing my medical care to a person I drink/socialize with.  We had a Christmas party and had a chat about the medical thing (yeah I know we had one of those get treatment advice for free conversations!)  I hate it when that happens-policemen always get the I hate cops and I had this bastard give me a ticket.  Doctors get the I have this pain and math teachers get the traumatic math story.  Well..I did that..(shaking my head in shame).  Well...anyhow she said to come in and that it was ridiculous that I should just put up with the pain and there must be something.  A few days later she then walked up to me at the bar ( our neighboring watering hold and social center) and grabbed my back and said..you are wayyy tight.  (I could tell she was working on the problem even after hours).  Well..I have come to the conclusion that I want a doctor that is invested enough in my health to think about it beyond the 5 minutes I am sitting in her office.  So I changed.

6.  A doc left a message on this blog about a Thiamine deficiency after my previous post.  I will ask or check out my blood stats and see.

7.  Yarn shop--has been Busy!  I have two employees now and sub out payroll and taxes to a accountant firm.  I am also getting a volunteer bookkeeper (thank goodness for nice knitters) for next year to help me organize myself.

8.  Oh..on the health front again--The iron and B-12 shots helped but slowly.  I felt somewhat better right away but last night for the first time in a long time I really felt great.  Sure my hands hurt but I have my energy back and that spring in my step that I developed when the weight came off came back last night.  I was beginning to despair that this had all gone down the tubes and I was just going to be an old tired old lady.  I think there is a little life in here yet ;)

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Good New Year and all that :)
xxoo

A Hematological Visit

I visited with Dr Who (not his real name but somehow in my illness fuzzed brain that is what he became).  I went into the freaky Oncology/Hemo office and everyone kept reiterating that I was there for anemia not cancer (perhaps a clue they should work on their PR a little?).  I know I would change the answering machine messages pronto.

They drew some blood.  The gals in the lab were very nice and made jokes.  I liked them.  I showed up early and actually got seen a full hour before my appointment :)  Love that!!

Now the lame-o news.  I have Anemia (well roll out the bandwagons that is new!  NOT).  He said the arm and hand pain were not the result of anemia.  He wants me to come in for IV Iron though (4 freaking hours!!!).  He checked my B-12 results and despite being told on the phone that mine was low..it was very average??? WTF??

So now a full week after thinking I was being sent to this guy to work on the actual pain I was in and continue to be in I am no further towards knowing anything.  I called my GP back to ask..but of course you know you get the shuffle and I have now get to wait until next week for an appointment to see her again.  OH wait..that is also when I see the band doctor for another teensy fill (oh yes the good saline is no longer there..stuff hardly touches the sides again and my 2 pound weight-loss is no more).

and a recap: I have not actually met the new surgeon.  Just my old nurse practitioner is still working.  My old surgeon retired and I have been left with DR saline miser.

so next Friday my only full on relax day for laying in, coffee and paperwork is now being filled with doctors appointments.  Next week is fill, Mammogram and GP visit.

I have to cancel the Iron IV (4 hours) and move it to the 24th.

Did you know you are not supposed to take your Iron with coffee?  Apparently according to DR WHO you are not..from now on I am to drink my coffee, take my alieve and then save the iron for two hours later and a glass of OJ.

If anyone has had hand/arm pain let me know.  Right now no one is any closer to knowing why mine are screwed.  I will take all opinions, speculations and ideas.

:( day.

Its Amazing What Just a Little Saline Can Do

I got a teensy fill on Friday.  My new guy is a beast.  I am only allowed one CC every two weeks.  I miss my old surgeon :(.  I begged for and got..a generous CC of fluid.  Although I am still lower than what I left the hospital with when I started this whole journey I feel better.  Both today and yesterday my hunger dial moved WAYYYY down.  I remember this feeling last time (only since it happened before)  for some reason the heat seeking hunger I have experienced for the last few months has with this little fill shifted to a new kind of hunger..and I am on my knees kissing the feet of the saline makers for it.  Now hungry is when I get a little dizzy..my tummy did not do the talking today.  I do not know if this will last but for today I am truly greatful for this little crumb.  Perhaps at least now I can turn the tide from weight gain to a little bit of loss.


I see the hematologist next Thursday.  My hands and arms are still really painful.  I still cannot really knit.  I did have a little burst of energy today and did some house cleaning.  Given my energy levels over the last few months I am really happy with that.  My self-induced (or husband induced) regime right now is 2 iron tablets, 2 b-12 tablets, a shot of flax seed oil (apparently helps with inflammation), one Aleive in the morning, one prilosec in the afternoon.  He and a friend have suggested I also go get some probiotics to add to the mix. At this point I am gain to try anything while I work to have the pros sort things out.

So basically today..the glass is half full :)

And the Illness Continues

The illness just keeps on giving.  The pain in my hands has gone up and down but mostly so bad that I have not been able to knit for about a week.  Last night I managed to do some tatting but in the middle of the night i woke up with pain in the middle of my hands so bad it woke me up.

So for a quick catch up:

Gyno problems -progesterone IUD solving bleeding issues but not sure if implicated in all of this other junk.

Stomach and side pains-finally have faded but upper GI and endoscopy found nothing but inflammation.

body/join pains increased until I finally went back to my General Doctor.  She decided it was either Iron problems, Lupis or Rheumetoid Arthritis.  She did a blood workup and it came back with no Iron stores and almost no B-12.

So chapter two of this whole saga is:  I need to get a colonoscopy, I need to see a Hemotologist.  It is totally freaking me out that when you look up hemotologist the name is synonymous with cancer or oncology.  I keep saying to myself..just blood Tina just the blood specialist.  When I called to make an appointment today all of the on hold information was about how cancer patients need to eat  and exercise!!!  eek.

On Friday I get to have another fill.  I am going to petition for a big more than the 1cc I have been promised.  apparently if this is blood related there is no reason I cannot have my band help back and..more importantly the weight I have gained cannot be helpful for my health.  I have had to buy big girl underwear again :((((((( and I have about 4 outfits that fit because they are like flipping moomoos.

On the bubbling resentment front-why did it take my GP to finally call for those sorts of blood tests.  You would think the lapband people would have at least done that???

I am sick of eating but hungry as hell.  I am sick of having to try and work and fit in doctors appointments.  I am sick of being so tired I barely get through the work day and then crawl my sorry self up to bed.  I am sick of the pain.  I am sick of gaining weight and hate getting dressed.  :( SAD FACE.