Losing It!

Why I Should Adopt Monday Bags

2012-01-30T17:35:00.000-08:00

I re-learn constantly the consequences of the old adage "fail to plan; plan to fail" Lapband Gal has a great strategy and I assume a refrigerator. I have no strategy and snack machines.

It is Monday. I teach from 3-5:30 and 6:30-9. Normally I am good having lunch and a coffee on my drive in. When my tummy is wide open with a case of the hormones I want dinner and I want it bad. My community college offerings at this time of the night come in machine form. My choice this evening was:

Not good. Well...let me rephrase that. They were good..but that is not good. Oh did I also tell you how bad it is to carry cash? I really should not do that.

:) xxxooo

House House House

2012-01-29T23:49:00.000-08:00

No pics yet but we were productive this weekend. We finished moving almost all of the stuff from our old place to this new one (except for a few things in the garage, charity shop run stuff and Kids to claim furniture items. We cleaned a little. David is going to broadcast the house availability for rent on his inter-company list serve tomorrow. Hopefully we can get someone who wants it for Feb and we can get out from under the lease.

Friday was a lovely day off for me, Grant stayed over as he was sick and daycare wouldn't let him come play :). He did have a fever and I guess I gave him the sickness not the other way around as first thought. After our morning relaxation coffee break (Grant played Angry birds, Grace surfed the web and so did I) We took our lunch on the road and took Grant home. Grace and I then went to visit my uncle at the rehab center. He was in physical therapy and we got to talk to him while he cycled on a stationary bike for 17 minutes and then walked across the room. He is really making progress. Friday night David and I sat in our new ugly but comfy chairs and watched a little TV. All three of us watched an episode of Midsomer Murders as Grae and I are working our way through the whole series. Then Grace went off to bed and David and I watched Kingdom (he and I are working our way through that series). Both are quite good.

On Saturday I went with Cinda and her boyfriend's mother to a Cabi party and brunch at a winery. We wine tasted, and looked at lovely clothes that I could actually try on and fit into. Ah I remember another time in my life when this would have struck plain old terror in me. I tried on Smalls, mediums and larges and the only item that I could not get on was a size 4 pair of lemon colored skinny jeans (no surprise there). Everything else I could get on and I had the unheard of dilemma of what to buy and what not to buy and what did I actually love and what did I know I could get cheaply elsewhere. In the end I purchased: a blue to orange tunic that Cinda and I both liked

and

a plum colored sweater that made everyone (including me) look skinny.

I then came home and helped David move the rest of our crap out of the old house and clean a bit. We then went back to Vancouver to visit my uncle (my aunt went home for the weekend and I didn't want him to be too lonely. We got there and he was asleep so we went and had steak out and then went back for a visit. Then it was home again for a protein smoothy and more Kingdom.

Today...we unpacked a couple of boxes, had morning leisure coffee. Visited with a neighbor and got to see what he had done with his very similar house to ours. We then went off to Ikea to look for some shelves to hack and potential cabinets to install for a bar. Cinda is now helping to care for a young woman who has high needs. She is wheel chair bound but a sweetie. Cinda took her on an outing with us to Ikea and we shopped with this young woman. she really liked watching Grace and all of the people in the store so I am glad we took her along. It was also nice to see Cinda take such good care of someone. We had another steak out for dinner (I am trying to up my iron via the beef although tonight was a fail on that score). We then came home did a smidge more unpacking, another episode of Midsomer and another two episodes of Kingdom while I surfed the web.

All in all...a very soothing while productive weekend.

A note on hormones: Women are screwed!! My hormones not only run my moods half the time but they obviously control my band tightness and it is a right pain in the arse. I am hungry as can be right now. A regular bottomless pit and my band is cooperating (well except for at Outback steak house where I fell for the $%$@$ bread). My weight is swinging up...I am fairly confident that I will go down again in a few days as the hormones change again and my band retightens. I would love to know if banded men have anything close to these problems or if it is just up to us women to suffer. In any case...it is not good.

xxxooo

Never At Goal-Always Learning

2012-01-25T22:03:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of talk on the blogs this week about recommitting oneself to reach goal. Some have gone to what they feel is only partway to where they want to be and somehow feel stuck on the pathway. Others feel like they have somehow failed. Still others have gone to goal and bounced back up to a weight that is not acceptable.

I have frankly at one point or another been to each of these places. I also contend that they are all just places along our personal pathways to fitness. These places are not good or bad-just places. Places that we are working on and deciding whether we will stay at them or whether we will move on to another location. There are consequences and benefits to each of these places but not good or bad.

For example:

Destination 1-I lost weight to 260. At this weight the band slowed me down. I had pretty much given up bread but I could eat a cup or so of dinner, wait a while and eat some more. I circled around this place for a while. It was comfortable. I was four pounds lower than I had ever managed with diet alone. I felt some sense of control in that I couldn't really eat bread but I had a sense of freedom in the fact that I could eat slowly and then eat more.

At some point or another I figured out that I could stay at 260 or I could push things a bit more and lose more weight. A fill followed and some more changes in eating were required. The bread was still off the menu and I could still eat a meal but with this fill my meal size shrunk and stuck in my pouch for a longer period of time. There was no second round of a meal on this pathway. There were times it was difficult (of course I wanted more and sometimes I really missed the bread--and sometimes I ate it anyway and paid the price). The benefit was a new destination to a lower weight. The consequence was facing a bowl with food in it that I knew my stomach could not hold. Eventually this destination became more comfortable. My weight stagnated and it was time to think about new destinations, What changes would be required of me to get to them and how willing was I to cope with those changes.

This happened time and time again from destination to destination, fill to fill and change in eating to change in eating. All the way to what I thought was a destination. Goal...Sure I got to where I wanted to be. the magic weight of 164. For a while I pushed things to 162. I sacrificed more. I ate less and have fewer meals. The consequences at this place showed up too-In order to maintain my weight at 164 and keep my exercise level where it is (active lifestyle but not hardcore exercise regime) means that I couldn't eat much. Adding to this the fact that I like my sweets sometimes the nutrition level of the small amount of food that I ate was not of the healthiest composition. After all when you eat shortbread cookies for lunch one does not get in the appropriate amount of protein or vitamins and minerals in the long run.

So here I sit at what I thought would be goal..and it really isn't. I just found one more pathway to explore. I am not sure if this new pathway will lead me back to the same place (164 or 162) or somewhere else. What I do know is that there is no goal and even when I master what I think is this piece of the thing there will be something else to work on and I will make new goals to meet. I also know that I can choose to stay in this place and work on more vitamins and minerals (by picking the healthiest foods instead of crappy ones) or at a higher weight but in either case there are benefits and consequences no matter where I choose to stay. To some extent I choose this place because of complacency or fear or satisfaction and in some sense I still believe there is an inner part of me that fights to stay at some unknown weight that my body wants to stop at. How much I am willing to sacrifice and how much I am willing to fight that physical part of me will always remain unknown but an ongoing decision making process.

Monday Comes Around Again-

2012-01-23T23:41:00.000-08:00

I am still sleeping my brains out all night and day. Last night I went to bed at just after midnight and woke up at noon. (I know I know...life is tough for me eh?)...the problem is that sleeping for almost 12 hours every night is just plain old unproductive. Sure it might be the result of being sick or not enough iron in my diet. I am continuing to work on the iron thing and the sick thing..well I am still quite stuffy.

Grace is now sick too (thankfully she didn't get the fever part just a couple of days of tummy upset and today the stuffiness hit her. We are a couple of miserable people sleeping and going out for coffee (she is drinking stuff minus the coffee part). Both of us had lunch at Starbucks with our 'coffee' this morning.

We came home and did a bit of talking about a book she is reading and a show we both watched on television (Midsomer murders) and then I had to go off to teach my two classes this evening.

Classes went fine (although I have a big gap is knowledge and comfort among one of my classes). After class I popped over to visit my uncle in rehab and he was in a wheel chair getting ready to go for a little walk about (So much progress lately). He is also very snappy in our conversations right now. I am so happy that he is doing better but he still has to wait for surgery in a month or two before he will be allowed to go home.

I then came home..to the upheaval of the new house (stuff plopped down everywhere). David came home from work to hang out with Grace while I went off and he didn't get a chance to do anything more as he had a meeting and computer-y stuff to do from home this evening.

I got home at 10:30 pm and David made me an cheesy egg and then some popcorn (yum) as I was still starving.

The scale says: It bounced back up to 164 shortly after the 162 drop and then I have 'forgot' to get on the thing since (I was too busy sleeping). Soo..I have no idea what I weigh right now but my tummy is hungry. I am trying to get back into my night time protein smoothy but the move, new term and sickness has me all messed up schedule-wise.

Tomorrows goals:

get up sooner
take my aunt for a Pedicure
Get Grace to knitting and actually knit while she does.
Pick up Grant and hang out while we wait for Nichole to get out of class.
Get Grace onto some math.

Its Coming Together

2012-01-23T00:08:00.000-08:00

On Saturday we played hooky with the moving and just enjoyed our proximity to the max train. Grace went off with her friends to the art museum for the day and David and I harnessed a free day for ourselves. We got on the max train and rode it downtown. He had a Christmas present gift certificate to spend and so we mooched the afternoon in the book store where he picked up some cook books. I looked at the knitting books but resisted all but a spinning magazine.

We then walked around the Pearl district part of Portland and popped into a few furniture stores. My goal was to find a nice rug for our living room. Although there were a lot of sales on and pretty things nothing inspired me to spend on anything. We definitely did not find a rug. The only other purchase we made was some felt pads for our chairs to protect the hard wood floors.

We did manage a nice lunch downtown. I had a chopped chicken salad with barbecue sauce, corn, lettuce cheese and some ranch dressing stuff. It was good but super spicy and It hurt going down. Does anyone else have more trouble with spicy food these days?

At dinner we got back on the train and headed home. I read my magazine and david thumbed through his new books. After a stop off at home we had a look at Marshall's and picked up some red kitchen towels and a new oven mitt. We still didn't find an agreeable rug.

Today I slept in an amazingly long time (I don't know what is up with the sleeping thing. I was asleep by midnight and still slept in until noon). David delivered a coffee too me (it is really a good life eh?). We then went to take my aunt to Walmart and then had an early dinner with her at Outback Steakhouse. We came home and finally did some more stuff moving and cleaning of the old rental house. We took four trips in all and loaded up most of the rest of the stuff in the house. There is just a bit of kitchen stuff left to move and the bottom half of my china closet. There is also quite a bit in the garage still and my outside flower pots and bird baths (I am not sure where these are going to go as I really don't have much outside space anymore).

We are being inspected at the rental house on Tuesday. They come walk through every 6 month. We have not yet told them we are moving out so it will probably come as a bit of a surprise when they find the place empty. We have a lease until April but if we can re-rent the house they will knock off the remaining months charge.

This last moving stuff session made me feel a bit better about things. The final bits of stuff are coming tot he new house. I have been having trouble figuring out where to put furniture in the living room but I think it is looking a bit better now. I have already had the sofa in three different locations. I will take pictures soon so you can see things.

xxxooo

BYOC Friday

2012-01-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

1. If money and time wasn't a problem - name a place you'd go on vacation and for how long?

It is funny you should ask this one. I was just talking to Grace about how I am dying to go somewhere warm right now. If money and time were no object I would not stop at one place. I would pack my bag with nothing but shorts, swimsuit and summery dresses. I would get on the max train by my new house and I would go to the airport with no tickets purchased. I would then walk up to the United desk and buy an around the world ticket. Apparently you can buy them and you can use them for up to a year in one direction. I would head west towards hawaii...then Australia, then Indonesia and anyplace warm until Spring has a good hold of the rest of the world. Then I would go to Japan and across Europe.

Did I mention this would be a business or first class ticket....well of course it would be.

2. This week I had a discussion with some friends about names our children or other people we know call the "nether regions". Don't hate - it's funny. So let's share them for a laugh. Any creative words for hoohaa and tallywhacker you think we haven't heard yet?

My daughters made up their own name when they were small. The front part was called their body...and the back their bottom. when I asked them why as a mom does...they just said the two words like i was incredibly dense and said..well bo'deee' means front. geez mom.

My grandson calls his bits his dingle (I have no clue why).

Being married to a Brit...I have learned that there are MANY names to call ones parts...We can be having the most normal conversation and he will either break out in a twitter or make some small statement with the commonest name invovled..and laugh.

John Thomas
Thomas
packet
package
richard
hose pipe

Oh and girl bits: hairy pie!!! is that not the bleckiest one ever??

3. Take a picture of your nails right now! Bossy, aren't I? I just had my nails done - I can't help it. I neeeed to show someone!

Mine are short for moving and I still freaking broke one!!! I am not sure I can get a picture on my computer though.

4. Tell me about the weather right now where you are!
It is raining hard but I am incredibly grateful for this because two days ago it was snowing and flipping freezing. I like the rain better. I would prefer sunshine and 70 degrees though.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and blog land.

I blogged and read a little. I seem to be having concentration problems (maybe because my brains are being displaced by mass quantities of congestion). I feel like I have a wicked case of attention deficit disorder..too much to look at and not enough brain space to settle on anyone thing. I try and leave a comment here and there but I can tell when I am not giving enough attention to my blog reading as the comments on my own posts all but disappear.

xxxoooo

Oh Yeah Thats More Like It

2012-01-19T18:29:00.001-08:00

Finally I can get work going around the house. I got home at 9pm but thankfully felt pretty good. After a quick pop into the grocery store for some dinner we did a run over to the house. Grace stayed up late and came with us in her pajamas :) She finally had the urge to load up her bedroom while David and I loaded a bunch of stuff from the garage including our temporary dining room table.

We filled up the truck drove it home, unloaded it and then cleared out all of the downstairs pile of boxes that have piled up over the last couple of weeks and I stayed in bed. My living room is now bare and the dining room finally has some furniture in it. The new fridge came and is in its slot. The mini dorm room fridge is back in the garage where it belongs.

Today Cinda, Grace and I hit Marshalls and homegoods to look for a garbage can, a paper towel holder, some laundry bins for Grace, a mail sorter, a cool lamp for Graces room, and two bathroom mirrors. I still need a rug for the living room and some additional lamps plus possibly a living room accent chair. I am going to take my time though and look around for both a good deal and something I really like.

stuff is happening now..finally.

xxxooo

A little Stripping in the Classroom-

2012-01-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

I just finished teaching one class. It was OK..feel crappy but I took a Sudafed with HOT coffee on the drive in. I had a hot flash in the middle of teaching. Now I am wearing jeans, socks, a tshirt and my 'keep calm and carry yarn' sweatshirt. A crappy day calls for warm and comfy clothes I say.

Thank goodness I had them working on three problems when it hit...I broke out in a sweat and started to panic. I pulled the sweatshirt off without showing belly rolls or skin I hope. After about an hour I cooled off and got cold. Back on went the sweatshirt.

I only need the tissue in my pocket twice and I am feeling a little better.

xxxooo

The Silver Lining

2012-01-18T13:06:00.000-08:00

1. I'm still sick. Mostly tired-and not getting our stuff moved and have to go teach...and I'm really unmotivated and want to go back to bed...Sniff... :)

2. Even though I had a melt down last night (not pretty) because everything I tried to do lead to something I couldn't do because bits of it were at the old house and I didn't want to go move anything from the old house....David went to the old house and picked up a bunch of stuff. In this stuff he got our beloved scale. I got to weigh myself this morning. (you did read that correctly...that was a GOT to). I don't hate my scale. She is my friend. She keeps me on track and rewards me when I am good...and been sick.

3. So finally I have gotten to the silver lining. 162..my all time low has been re-reached.

4. In all areas my mood is still foul...

5. is there an icon for foulness?...I cannot really click x and o's today :(

Give me a D for dehydrated.

2012-01-17T00:29:00.000-08:00

it is 12:29 and I am awake again. I will sleep soon but I am sooo thirsty I could suck up a gallon. I have been disturbing my husband for the last hour and a half running back and forth to the bathroom to drink. I cannot just drink in bed as the water needs me up-right a little to slip down the pipes. Obviously a combination of post illness and period dehydration is in the works. I am grateful that my thirsty sensor is working though.

I discovered today that my daughters and I are once again in sync hormonally and it appears (through attitude and zits) that my 10 year old will follow soon. I surmised today that not only do women who are close-knit share hormonal cycles but could they perhaps suck a mom who is desperate to just jump over the menopause line and be done with it back from that oh so desirable place. I seem to have been at this in-between place much too long (at least 4 years now). I seem to suffer most of the mentioned side effects except the one I most desire..yup...no more red-tide, mary's gift...I am sure there are many more euphemisms to choose from. Instead of the lack of it...I have night sweats, hot flashes, grouch, tired, memory loss, instead of no tide..I get high tide :).

On another note my oldest daughter and grandson came by and visited today. She is coming down with the plague...I hope she is OK. My grandson is a very cute little man among all of us women. He had a stuffed snowman with him today that he was trying to name. He went from snowy to Mr. Flower and back again. My grandson likes to look good, play pretend and name his things in a very girly like way (which I find so similar to my daughter). There is however this aggressive/active boy aspect to him that always surprises me. Poor Mr. flower was whipped to death like a helicopter as we walked along the side-walk and the shirt that my grandson was thrilled (ok really he demanded it) to wear today got used as a napkin for turkey salad and honey goat yogurt. I am sure some of this noticing I do is just my inexperience with having anything to do with boy children, some is the sheer girly influence he gets from his mom, three aunties and grandma. and some is just him and his unique only grandson cuteness :)

We purchased a replacement fridge tonight and bought a couple of comfy chairs for David and I...They are not much to look at but I decided I am finally old enough to go with comfort over fashion...(queue in dramatic music here). We also moved my clothes over to the new place and forgot the @$$%@$^@$@ scale.

I know I am back down at goal but that was BP (before plague). I am hoping for a touch of wiggle room now only I cannot do my daily weigh in because idiot that I am I keep forgetting to bend over, lift scale, carry to car, move to new house. arck...

Happy Tuesday.
xxxooo

Happy Tuesday.

The Great Plague of 2012 Recap :)

2012-01-16T11:43:00.001-08:00

Ok you are going to have to deal with my random mind dump. I could number them..as I do a lot lately...I could edit and make them into nice sentences or paragraphs. but nah..I am going to barf on this box.

My fever finally finished itself last night round about 1am. I was sick of bed and sick of being sick so of course couldn't sleep until 3am. I am still snotty but at least I feel like getting up. I need to get up and get myself to coffee as no one is home to do it for me. David does not get MLK day off and Grace slept over at a friends. While awake last night I finally was spooked by all of the new house noises that I was too sick to be spooked by when we moved over here. We have actually purchased a home near a restaurant dumpster. Last night was bottle night!!! Crazy. My next door neighbor had a friend leave at 3am...I heard the door bang and car start. I finally went and looked out Graces window to see the car pull away. I heard the heater kick on a few times. My computer is really a noisy clicker in the silence of the house. Oh..and at 2am I reorganized my pinterest clothing board (have any of you found this coolarific time waster yet?).

I am starting a new paragraph because it seems right:

When I first got sick something very NSV happened. My oldest daughter called and when I answered she said...wow you sound like yourself four years ago. weird..apparently I was so tired in my overweight status four years ago that I answered the phone like I was in the middle of a feverish flu...That sounds about right actually. Sad...but right.

Ok..recap over. I am pulling my carcass out of this bed, getting dressed, and going for coffee. I have stuff to do.

xxxooo

Funny Things Blogs-

2012-01-15T18:42:00.001-08:00

I have the flu. My last bout of flu was Feb. 20, 2011...haha...I have a journal now and can look stuff up. Hot diggity. This is the first time I have actually done that. What follows is a pity party of epic proportions.

1. Low grade fever Thursday and Friday but I could function on drugs. Saturday and Sunday the real fevers began. I hit 103 last night. This morning it was 99 now I am sitting on 101. I have taken my liquid Alieve but I only get two doses a day so David has gone to the other house for Ibuprofen. Thankfully with the unfill a few weeks ago I can take pills. When he comes back I will dose myself again and hope my fever goes down again. I had a flu shot...obviously the strain that picked on me came from somewhere else.

2. We are moving still. We have now officially switched our beds and sleeping to the new place however with me in the bed...I am not participating in any of the work. As a result we had a fridge delivered today that did not fit in the space. It blocks a cupboard door. I was in my bed sniffling and moaning in feverishness. They left it and Cinda told me to come down and look a couple of hours later....I called the delivery service and they will be retrieving it on Wednesday. Both the sales guy and delivery woman asked if I was ill (obviously I sound like crap). They were very nice.

3. Other than the fridge fiasco David, Cinda, Nichole and Grant have been nice to me. I have had coffees retrieved and delivered to my bed. I have had meals made and soups purchased at the grocery store. Furniture delivered. Grant even snuggled for a few hours in bed with me. I really hope I got this from him and did not infect him when we did this. David, Nichole and Grant have risked my infection but everyone else comes in with their nose covered and leave as quickly as they can. I can't say I blame them. This sucks mightily.

4.

Update: David delivered Ibuprofin. I took one...my fever is dropping...hooray!!!!

BYOC..Its Friday

2012-01-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

Friday BYOC ala Draz

1. Do you have a favorite traditional “birthday meal”? If yes – what is it and what is the meaning behind it? I don't have a traditional meal but we do have a family tradition that we go out. One of my very good couple friends and us go out minus the kids for just adult time. We do this for each of our birthdays. When it is a kid birthday (she has two and I have four) we go out all together (although since the oldest three have left home we don't always do each child). A couple of years ago I added to this tradition by choosing something to eat for dinner that I have never tried before. One year it was lobster.

2. If you’ve lost weight, has your style changed since you lost weight? Or what's your dream purchase when you do lose weight/hit goal?

I don't think my style has changed. I always wanted to dress like I do now only I looked like crap that way so I ended up just wearing whatever fit. My uniform pre weight-loss was tshirt, jeans, and a blouse or cardi over the top. I always loved retro and arty clothes. I now get to wear some of those clothes and it is FUN!!! The list of items that I can now wear that I could not before are: boots, knee high socks, leggings, dresses. I did dream of getting a wrap dress and I have not yet done that.

3. Pick one question of the following two to answer: Who is your favorite Muppet and why? Or who is your favorite Smurf and why?

Tough question-I guess I will have to go with the muppet because I hated surfs. Sesame street aired its first program when I started kindergarten and I LOVED it. I watched it everyday and was totally disappointed that my kids really never took to it like I did. Oddly I would say my favorite was Burt...Maybe because my siblings annoyed me? :) For some reason I liked his pointy little head and his sense of order. The count was always pretty cool too-with his slight mathiness.

4. When you buy a lotion or after bath spray or body spray or candle (not perfume) – what’s the “flavor” you always find yourself loving the most?

I am a green tea and lemon kind of girl. Cost plus has some really nice stuff.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blogland.

It has been really difficult this week to stay on top of stuff. The new term has me getting used to working again. As we are in the middle of a move our internet is messed up. David moved it to the new house before we actually moved our beds to the new house. Thus far the only computer time I have had is sitting at Starbucks in the mornings for my coffee. I can read blogs on my phone but it is REALLY hard to post as I have enough trouble with typos when I am on a keyboard. The stupid little screen buttons drive me insane.

Fresh Starts

2012-01-09T21:43:00.000-08:00

I have been too occupied this fall to spend nearly as much time surfing everyone's blog as much as I used to. I wonder if like so many of the other now missing bloggers life just starts happening and posting and reading slow down (I do not want to stop all together ever though). I have new stuff happening here and even now so far down the bandy road I still get epiphanies and make changes and tweaks to what this band means to me, what being thinner means and how I live with my lovely band. It is also the beginning of the new college term and I am back and work...I have been teaching so long I am just in sync with the rhythms of school.

1. The new term began for me tonight. I am back at the community college teaching two math classes. As always I love these students. They come with flaws, scars and variety that I did not get as much of at the university. I love trying to spark their interest and excitement in a subject that often comes with lots of baggage. The focus at the community college where I work is all about teaching...I love that. Working nights again brought on a return to the 'how do I eat dinner dilemma of old."

2. We pulled Grace back out of school and I am once again a home-schooling mom. Her teacher clearly did not like her and no child should have to spend day in and day out under those circumstances (the rude kind of not like so much so that she told me about it, I witnessed incidences of it and when she left another child said...but with you gone I will be the only one she picks on). In addition to that I had watched someone who loved learning and digging into problems and ideas stop pursuing anything on her own. She was so busy doing worksheet homework each night and after school that she stopped reading for pleasure, stopped surfing the web for interesting information. We are currently detoxing..she is having trouble concentrating on things deeply for any extended period. We are also working on Grace's diet a bit...hopefully this will help.

3. We are almost moved into our new digs. We moved a bunch of stuff over the weekend. Tomorrow the place will finally be habitable...This means...we will have internet installed and hot water turned on. :) All the other stuff is up and running. We will then move over our beds and spend the rest of the month cleaning out and prepping the rental house to change hands. We officially have a lease until April but if we can find someone qualified to take it off our hands the agency will waive our rental for the remaining period.

4. The food: I have been largely sticking to the no grain and sugar routine. The book Nourishing Traditions is a great read and we have been trying to incorporate many of the ideas from it into our diets. It is really difficult to let go of sugar and harder I think for a child that is surrounded by sweets all of the time. It helps that she is at home with me this term. We are really concentrating on protein, fruits and vegetables. I have noticed that both of us crave sweets like crazy..but it is getting better. We are both getting by with morning trips to Starbucks for sugar free drinks (she drinks vanilla without the coffee and I my peppermint mocha frapp. sugar free. She has eggs or oatmeal for breakfast. We both have eggs with cheese for lunch. She usually has a banana or a yogurt for a snack in the afternoon while I have another coffee. We were shooting for meat and two veg for dinner but now that I ma teaching on Mon and Wed. it will be that on the other days and I am not sure what I am going to do on Mon and Wed. For dessert we have a sugar free fruit smoothy with protein.

The results: I am peeing more :) and pooing too...I know I know..TMI. I feel loads better-with much more energy and a better attitude. My weight is back down to 166 as of this morning. Grace was having some tantrums (we were worried they were food related but it is hard to tell when you have what is really an only child at home whether you are raising a brat or someone with other issues that need attention). We are going with the food for now :). Grace seems to be doing much better (fingers crossed).

5. Even though I have been grateful for these things before...at other times...There are still times when I pull on my jeans, zip up a boot or pull on knee high socks that go up all the way. When It feels just as good as it did the first time it happened. I hope that gratful feeling next goes away entirely.

xxooo

Still Flitting About

2012-01-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

Our house took a few days to close and we are busily but slowly moving in and cleaning stuff up. My daughter and her boyfriend (for a fee)..did a thorough pre-clean of our new house and we have been slowly moving a few pieces of furniture and boxes over during the week. We were planning on making the major part of the move this weekend but have discovered that the hot water tank has been turned off and that the master bathroom toilet needs some plumbers attention. That will have to wait until a weekday (cause I am not going to pay weekend rates for a plumber).

Today Grace and I did a first coat of paint in her bedroom. She did a wonderful job wielding the paint roller herself and picked out a nice beige that matches the downstairs and hallway wall paint.

My two older daughters came over and helped a bit. My oldest daughter's help came in especially handy when I stupidly dumped a decent amount of the bucket of paint off the ladder onto my left shoulder and head. She spread paper towels across the floor to make a trail for me to walk. I stripped off clothes when they finally stopped dripping and ...at this point...discovered that the hot water tank that we thought was warming up was just plain old not on. One freezing soapless shower later David arrived with a towel, a shirt to change into and a small cooler filled with hot water (bless him). It was too late for me but I used it to wash off the paintbrush and roller.

We then went out to dinner and had steak (my favorite thing to do after the unfill I had a few weeks back.). I shared mine with my grandson who ate at least 2/3's of the steak and the asparagus. I brought the potato home for breakfast.

On New Years day Grace and I went on David's (sort of) diet plan. We are taking it on very loosely but have vowed to go as sugar and grain free as possible. This pseudo paleo/atkins thing has been OK so far. I swapped my peppermint mocha frapp for a sugar free version. We have been eating lots of fruits and vegetables and as little bread as possible. One of the nutrition books we recently acquired talks about the historical and healthier habit of eating only sprouted grains so I found a package of sprouted quinoa, rice and wild rice that we had for dinner with some home-made chicken tikka masala. It was quite good.

I do feel tons better (I think both from eating more, taking my vitamins and dropping a lot of crappier foods from my diet). I have had a few cravings as Grace has for bread (which is weird because as long as I was eating sugar in my coffee the bread didn't bug me much). David says his cravings got better after a week. I hope these improve. I topped out at 169.8 on New Years Eve and I am already down to 167.1 as of this morning. I am pretty confident that I can keep this up (and give up more if needed) to get the scale back down to my more comfortable 164 zone. I have too many pretty clothes to let the scale creep up too much.

I hope the New Year is treating you all well. I will be head down in packing and carting Grace to choir camp tomorrow. I hope you are enjoy your weekend as well.

xxxooo

I'm Here

2012-01-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone.

For a couple of years now I have typed my goals in this blog at the start of the new year. It is funny how so many more areas of my life are ripe for new year resolutioning now that weight is not such a big issue. Although diet and exercise are not absent from my goals in 2012 they do not take all of the focus anymore. The big goal has shifted to organization (Although I haven't double checked I recall that this was on my list last year)...I think I have found a new thing to be a failure at :).

The goals:

1. refocus and keep my weight down and vitamin levels up at this looser level of restriction. I started this today with taking my pills and vitamins with water at home. I then went off and had a sugar free peppermint mocha frapp (I can give them up completely)..and it was just fine. I then came home and had 1/2 cup of an egg, potato, spinach and cheese scramble. My focus diet will be to drastically reduce the amount of crabs I ingest (mostly) focusing on sugar and grains). I will eat three meals a day at least and only eat carbs in the form of fruit and vegetable. David is doing this in a much more strict manner and with really good success.

2. Organize our crap. We have too much disorganized goods that we have yet to cull, sort and scan. Next week we are moving into a new house that will be our home for quite a long while. We need to whittle down the crap so that we fit into the place.

3. We need to use our time even more wisely. We have made improvements over the last year but all three of us suffer from schedule avoidance. We need to sleep more regularly, use our time wisely and relax fully when it is time.

I am sticking to 3 this year. No word..just the three.

xxxoooo

Holy Cow--We finally Signed.

2011-12-30T00:40:00.000-08:00

A notary came by our house tonight (yep-someone does house calls). She brought all of the paperwork and we finally have our 6 month waiting forever to close house. Now my mind is churning with ideas and stuff and wondering what we will be able to do first. What we need to pack. What we need to get rid of of. What we should have sorted in the last six months and did not....eek ;0)

My weight went up a touch more...T-2 and counting of devil may care-itis then it is back on track for this girl. My clothes seem to be a touch tighter and a bit of a belly bump has returned (not that I didn't still have one from my skin sag anyway). My energy level is MUCH better.

David is sick. He seems to be having a rerun of his bladder/kidney deal from last year. Thankfully this time we caught it early and he is back on antibiotics before his fever got too high and I had to take him into hospital. He seems to not be feeling good while I am feeling better (perhaps there is only so much feel good our house can handle?)...that is a kidding dry humor kind or sarcastic comment in case you didn't catch it.

I might be here and then again I might not..depends on how crazy the moving gets.

xxxooo

Post Christmas Weight Gain

2011-12-28T09:44:00.000-08:00

Wowza a little unfill has been fun but as with all things fun there is a price to be paid. I have been able to eat much more than I could at the .2 tighter fill level. I am pretty sure this is a good thing. I know I feel a whole lot better. I am definitely feeling ahead of where I was last year at this time.

Good stuff: I can eat meals out without mentally getting a fix on where the bathroom is and carefully thinking through whether I will be able to drink the water or have a drink before my meal. I still have to stop eating at the designated 1/2 cup but I can take things slowly and have a little wiggle room with a bite or two above that level. I can eat steak again!!! I can eat fruit and vegetables much more easily.

Not Good: I have not changed some of my more calorific habits-like the big frappacino and some of the desserts that I was able to slip past my band and get away with because of the only little amounts of meals. It is Christmas time and there are many sweets to choose from and misbehave with. I have gained back up to 167. I can feel this weight gain in my jeans.

The plan: The good far outweighs the not good. I am going to roll with this and improve my actions in the new year. The game plan is to hit David's diet plan hard. His plan is really not far off the band rules really. high protein, fruits and vegetables. Avoiding grain and grain products and sugar. I still have a few more days of fun and I am going to enjoy them to the fullest before I cut down on my precious peppermint syrup. I think I will be allowed the sugar free version if I can stand it.

So how has your eating been over the holidays? What are your plans for the New Year? Where are you in this weight loss journey. For so long my year end reflections of past were rarely ever realized and now I make steady progress that can be marked from year to year. I am sure the band is deserves part of the credit but I think this blog, the blog community support and a readjustment of my thinking all contribute.

Happy almost New Year everyone!

xxxooo

Settling In:

2011-12-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

Ok..yesterday was sublime. Pills and coffee for breakfast. a one egg omlet for lunch with a sprinkling of cheese. Dinner was a 2 inch ground chicken and beef meatball with quinoa and egg mixed in to hold the meat together. There was also some grated zucchini in there. I had a small pile of salad, 3 cooked carrot slices and a piece of broccoli. While I cooked dinner I ate a few raw carrot slices. I made a home made balsamic vinaigrette dressing to go on the salad and had a 2 inch round of crispy bread with cheese sprinkled on top. I had my whole family over (11) so bought a cheesecake at Costco and I did have a slice of that for dessert.

Although I wanted to have a glass badly I skipped the predinner wine (just not worth risking a repeat of last night) but I have my lovely screwtop Fantasia wine sitting in the fridge for later (much later) today if I fancy some.

The best part is that with this little unfill I am sitting two pounds lower than I was when it was tight. Imagine that..you can actually get a tiny unfill and drop a couple of pounds. I will still have to be vigilant and make the right food choices but today...this new unfill level is good. not too tight, not too loose..but JUST RIGHT :)

xxxooo

Holy Moly The Tights Returneth

2011-12-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

Today was a touch manic and I am hoping todays tightness was a result of that or just some time of the month pre-tightening thing. I should have taken a clue when I had my morning coffee and was still full at lunchtime. I had a second coffee (and yes I know I should have had some solid protein at this point but...(Because Linda and Theresa are totally on target I think with their advice).

1. I had to get David's birthday presents.
2. My parents arrived in town with no prior notice
3. My cousin came into town
4. My uncle needed a visit
5. All shopping had to happen before 2:45 pm when Grace came home from school.
6. The hospital visit had to happen after 3pm and before 5:15 pm
7. We had a dinner reservation for David's birthday at 6pm.
8. I really wanted one..and didn't want any food.

I accomplished the shopping in the given window. I picked up Grace just as she got off the bus. We grabbed our coffee and her after school snack at Starbucks. I also purchased a banana. I drank on our drive to the hospital and then during the visit ate 1/2 the banana (thank goodness for my stash of Ziploc bags. They hold a half a banana leftover beautifully.

At 5:15 we launched into the traffic and headed towards home and our wonderful area foody restaurant (Hall Street Grill). They have employed a new chef and he is....AWESOME. I had a small salad, half a serving of Rockfish with capers, onions and a balsamic reduction (it was delish). Grace and David had dessert that I sampled. Graces Orange cheesecake with apricot reduction and caramel sauce was the single most delicious desert I have ever had in my LIFE!!!

Ok now to the tricky part:

I have had trouble before the unfill with drinking alcoholic beverages. I thought it was the vodka, then I thought it might be the orange juice. Tonight with my fresh unfill I decided to give a pre-dinner drink a try. I had a warm apple cider drink (with rum and brandy). It went down smoothly. I thought dinner was going along just fine until I got in the car (offering up a second thank goodness for my stach of Ziplock bags!). It appears that I still cannot drink a pre-dinner drink. My next strategy is to try drinking a full 30 minutes before the meal. If that doesn't work...and I cannot believe I am going to type this....I will have to become one of those alcohol free people.

Yes you read it correctly...I will not give up coffee or food for thin-ness but I am willing to give up the sauce. :)

Ok...if you are susceptible to food porn look away now. I have included a picture of the best dessert ever invented. I am now scheming on how I can recreate the thing in my own kitchen.

The description from Hall Street Grill:

Foie Gras and Orange “Cheesecake” foie gras and cream cheese panna cotta, shortbread crust, apricot compote, caramel. It is rich, sweet and flavorful. I also melts on your tongue.

So That is What Eating Is For Others?

2011-12-11T18:25:00.000-08:00

Ok that is a bit of an exaggeration but holy moly can I eat and have I been hungry. I have frankly steered clear of the iron pill for the last couple days (after the almost stuck thing). My other drugs go down OK.

Breakfast is still pills and venti Peppermint Mocha Frap. I eat more lunch and I am hungry for it now. Today it was a spinach salad, whole boiled egg, generous tablespoon of cottage sliced carrots and a slice of cucumber plus a little parm. cheese sprinkled on. I swapped my afternoon venti peppermint mocha frap for a tall skim one and now I am like a heat seeking missile for some dinner....

I am skeered of the weight gain. I lost 4 pounds on the day I couldn't eat. Since the unfill I gained a pound each day for two days in a row. I know this is normal but was still a tad freakish. Today the weight gain stabilized stopping at a lovely 162.6. I am hoping I can keep this white-nuckled grip on my weight for the long term.

xxxooo

Weird Retightening and the Polar Express

2011-12-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Now here is weirdness. I got up early and Grant (my grandson) and I walked in the freezing cold weather for a morning cuppa coffee. I had my venti peppermint mocha frapachino and it was good. Grant packed along a ziplock bag of lego guys and lego bikes/skateboard to play with while I drank down the coffee and took my meds (and yes still on the daily regime..except for the Tuesday fiasco). I sat and did the drinking and pill taking slower than yesterday but still the iron pill did not go down nearly as smoothly. I got it down in the end but there were a few dicey moments during our walk from Starbucks to the Grocery store when I felt awfully close to launching that final pill back out again.

Tonight we are going to take Grace and Grant to a special Christmas train ride they have at Hood River. We get to ride on a train and they will read the Polar Express story and serve hot chocolate. We will leave right after school and be home late. Grant is spending today with me and will spend tonight as well.

xxxooo

Day 2 Post unfill-

2011-12-08T21:48:00.001-08:00

I forgot to weight myself this morning (Oh man...am I sliding down the slippery slope already?). :)..

I had my morning coffee and pills went down a treat as they did yesterday.

I lunched on a cheese box from Starbucks at 2:00 pm. I ate all of the cheese, three of the crackers and one apple slice. I saved one cracker, the almonds, cranberries and remaining apple slices for later. I ate them at around 4pm.

When my at around 5:30 I had two bites of a fresh carrot and two big bites of a tasty apple. These tasted so good.

For dinner-we were at Costco. I had a couple of samples and 1/2 a hotdog.

Evening-A skim peppermint mocha frap.

Ok...I'm still kind of hungry. I think I might have to start thinking more about bulk foods again. The fruit and veg was great. The hotdog not so much. I am still enjoying the ease in which I can get my pills and food down but I am worried about the ease in which I can get FOOD down :)

So far OK...

Uncle:

My uncle is still in the hospital and had another drain tube but in today. Two weeks ago they moved him out of ICU onto a regular ward. The problem is we got too used to the on the spot care he received in ICU. The standards are MUCH lower where he is now. My aunt is killing herself doing so much of the work the nurses should be doing. The physical therapists only come in sporadically and no one bathes him except my aunt. Last night his feeding tube ran empty for ages and we finally had to tell them it was empty. I am not sure if the problem is that the nurses are overworked with 4 patients to one nurse or if they are just not managed well or what.

We have been told he will be moved to a rehabilitation facility and we went and checked it out the other day. One of the nurse managers explained their rehab organization and plan to us and showed us around the facility. She was very nice and the place was pretty impressive. It does mean that she will be further away from my house but still a reasonable distance.

The Never Closing House:

The paperwork is going but the bank says that we have to start from scratch on our loan again and things will not close for 30 days. I guess we can go get a tree and decorate here. We will be in the rental for christmas. I did walk through it again yesterday. It is still what I want to live in. I love it and can't wait to get the move going.

xxxooo

Post Unfill and Post Dinner Update-

2011-12-07T23:15:00.001-08:00

It is absolutely amazing what a little food and drink does to one's attitude. I am SO much more comfortable. I had a salad, a bite of coleslaw, pan fried fish and three french-fries. I have to say that the salad was by far the best of the evening. I also drank my water and even though it had ice in it went down smoothly right before the food came.

Soo..the big lessons thus far:

over-restriction can sneak up on you. First you stop eating salad, then you stop drinking water before a meal but none of these things hit all and once. I just gradually restricted myself more and more in order to 'keep the peace' of my goal weight. I did after all get bread back on my menu and who was I to consider the ability to eat bread as too tight. Over time one by one these little things added up to lots of coffee and little food. Even then I carried on but when I would be ravenous in the evenings and then suffer from acid reflux all night I finally had the last straw and went in to address the problem.

So this unfill is providing me with a little reality check. Does an expanded diet of good for me foods out-weight my internal drive to feed myself and my stomach space. The Nurse practitioner felt that it was unusual for someone who had been at my level of restriction for so long to come in and ask for an unfill. It had been 9 months since my last unfill and a year since my last fill.

I am a tad scared but I am going to give this looser restriction a good try. I am really going to have to think through what I eat and when now. If I can eat more at my meals I think some of the morning and afternoon coffee is going to have to shrink while my meals are going to have to grow vegetables :) Wish my luck! I know I told the nurse practitioner that doing this right before Christmas scared the bejeebies out of me.

Well...I am sitting here at 10:30 and kind of hungry. I want to go eat something but I do not want to go to bed with food in my stomach. I am hoping that tonight I get an acid reflux free sleep.

Oh What a Difference 0.20 ML Makes.

2011-12-07T16:13:00.000-08:00

My appointment was wonderful!! We talked it over and the nurse practitioner was a little hesitant to take just a little out (in the end 0.2 ml) but she listened to my wishes. I love it that both my surgeon and this NP are great like that. She was really concerned about the acid reflux and agreed that my stoma might be irritated. She pulled out all of my fluid and sat me up (with needle in port) to swallow down two cups of water. Man it felt good to gulp again. She did this to make sure any debris that might being hanging around in my pouch or even in the stoma itself would wash through. She then refilled me to 7.6 ml just .2 less than before the visit.

i feel SO much better. So far I have stuck to liquids but just taking my pills with a post unfill coffee was heaven compared to before the unfill.

Yesterday was pure hell by the way. I had a morning coffee but spend the remainder of the day barfing up that coffee plus whatever dinner had not already beed unstuck the night before. It was not pleasant and not a good place to be while studying for a math final. I did not do very well on said final but will probably take the class over again someday to get the knowledge into my head.

Did I say I was feeling MUCH better? :) I am looking forward to dinner :)...Hopefully I will be able to eat a bit but not suffer anymore :)

xxxooo

Unfill Appointment Made-and Hell Night

2011-12-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

I was up all last night trying to dislodge dinner and suffered from night three of acid reflux. I am really, really over this amount of fill. Geez as some have said to me...."unlike you Tina..we eat"...I have been willing to sacrifice a heck of a lot for sitting with my weight at goal. I eat very little but when a girl can't even keep her coffee down at breakfast somethings gotta give.

Although it might seem like I barf a lot I really don't. Perhaps three or so times a month when I do stupid stuff and am in the throes of tightness on the run up to my period. After a great week of just the right amount of tightness I have come to the conclusion that this perfect for a week and tight for three is just not going to cut it anymore. It is time I stepped up and did some of my own work (eek I am scaring myself even typing this)...see even after a year at goal the old insecurity is there. Can I control this beast or has the band been doing it for me....My appointment is at 10 am tomorrow morning. Today it is all liquids I am afraid and I'm not sure even those are going to go down easy.

I have a math final tonight (and I cannot wait for the class to be over!!!). My head has just not been in the game and the instructor has not been very good. He has been nice enough but is crap at teaching stuff (I know I am a tough audience). Soooo anyhow...my test is tonight and I really don't even care much how well I do...and that is just not my normal self.

I just want to knit and eat again :)

xxxooo

Unfill Decision Made

2011-12-06T00:20:00.000-08:00

After a week of perfect restriction I have had two nights of horrendous acid reflux and the tights. I am calling tomorrow to get a tiny unfill. I will check back in when the deed is done...wish me luck and the self control I will probably need to stop from growing out of my lovely clothes.....nail-biting going on as I type..OK between types.

xxxooo

Who Me? Missing?

2011-11-30T19:59:00.000-08:00

I have been in an Etsy funk for the last few days. I don't know what came over me but I have spent my days either shopping the miles and miles of Etsy pages or sleeping. I do fit in a visit to my uncle and aunt most days as well. I seem to have finally noticed and done some snapping out of my Etsy problems as of today (Not one peek at the place so far today). It is not even like I am buying anything. I have made a total of two purchases is the whole week-long Etsy extravaganza. The first was some vintage knitting books (some of which are a gift) and the other was four vintage clothing patterns. I am really digging the vintage clothing thing lately and got a couple of skirt patterns and two dress patterns (from the 50's and 60's. Now I just need to stop looking at the stupid website and make something!!

The weight has been good.

The restriction has been good.

I have been taking my iron and vitamins like a good little girl.

My head just needs a little straightening out :)

By the way Thanksgiving went off quite nicely. The array of foods selected to meet the historical needs of each attendee were excellent. I had bits and tastes of each thing but not too much of one thing. We had a nice uncomplicated visit with friends and family and it was all nice.

For the first time David, Grace and I did a big black friday shopping adventure. It was crazy busy and I don't think I will do it again but it was good to get out and experience the hedonistic commercialism of the day :) We are almost ready to mail both of the two parcels we send off with Christmas gifts to family afar early. I now have to get a Christmas letter written and cards done and can then coast into presents for my daughters, husband and grandson.

xxxooo

Pre-Thanksgiving Festivities.

2011-11-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

My first ever pecan pie is in the oven baking. I used the Dear Abby recipe freely available online. David made the crust (because he is wicked awesome at it). He used Julia Child's technique and a personally experimented recipe from Julia and other friends advice. Here is the list:

2 cups all purpose flour
8 oz of butter
2 t salt
4 T heavy cream
1 T vodka

put the flour, butter and salt into a bowl and use a pastry cutter to make it crumbly.
add in the cream and vodka. Dump the whole mixture out on the counter and squish it against the counter with your hands (basically squick the crap out of it). when it is well blended make a ball and roll it out. This recipe makes two pie crusts.

I altered the pecan pie recipe a touch-I added twice as many pecans. I chopped some up and put them into the syrup mixture and then took another cup and decorated the top. When it comes out I will post a picture.

I will also take a picture of the feast tomorrow..I imagine I will not be eating much of it given the last two night-time adventures however...There will be 14 lovely adults and children to visit with and David is making some lovely leek and potato soup for me and any vegans among the group.

Lets talk important food now :)

over at Fat Fish in a Skinny Sea Rachel told a story of her hilarious because it is so true adventures in trying to get the ingredients for a pumpkin pecan pie. It is really funny isn't it how certain foods at holidays are so very important to us. I think the turkey is important, the gravy made a certain way is vitally important and mashed potatoes are important. My aunt says that candied sweet potatoes are super important (I bought some and she is going to make them tomorrow). My cousin thinks the pecan pie is important (hence I am making that for him). Since David is British and several of our other friends are British..they have no such foody ties to Thanksgiving. Christmas however is a whole other thing.

In 2009 we spent Christmas at my mother-in-laws in the UK. I had a similar Pie breakdown to Rachel . I didn't even imagine that no one would sell canned pumpkin in the UK. I had access to the pan and everything else needed but..the canned pumpkin was just not available. I have tried to cook a real pumpkin in the past and make it have the same texture as the stuff you can get in a can...it is not the same so I took a pass and spend one Christmas without pumpkin pie. It bugged the crap out of me but guess what..I didn't die. I am still here and I am not even making a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. I will do one for Christmas and that is enough. Over here David and his friends make sure they have a Marks and Spencer Christmas pudding ready and a tin of Birdseye custard. I think both of these are just plain old icky but it would not be Christmas for him unless they were on the table.

Update: My pecan pie burned on top before it finished in the middle. $#%$#%$...I don't even like the thing but am feeling the need to go make another one just to prove to myself I can do it.

For dinner we went out to the Spaghetti Factory. I have not been in several years. That place used to be pretty band unfriendly. Huge portions...and then of course there is the whole pasta thing. For the past few weeks I have had a craving for Mizithra and browned butter spaghetti. It used to be my favorite dish they served there The Spaghetti factory has adapted and I actually had it tonight but not on pasta...on spaghetti squash. It was divine!!! Tasty...ORgasmic :). So far...no repeating nighttime tights!! It seems to be settling down in my tummy quite nicely thank you very much :)...yummmy sigh of contentment.

If you don't have a Spaghetti Factory near you you can make it yourself (and I plan to)...just bake a spaghetti squash in the oven with butter. Brown some butter in a pan, fork the Spaghetti Squash (so that it is pasta-ish into the buttered pan. Sprinkle on finely grated mizthra cheese and freshly chopped parsley. You can garnish with a bit of fresh pepper too.

Now to conquer that blasted pecan pie and clean house :)

xxxooo

Well Thankful has Gone Down the Toilet!

2011-11-23T00:02:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have not posted a thankful since the 17th and it is now the 23rd. Um..I guess I kind of lost the plot.

So remember when I was in New York and having trouble keeping meals down..yeah well it has been almost exactly one month since then. A relatively PB and stuck free month (with the odd stupidity barf thrown in for good measure). Well guess what has reappeared for the past two nights? yup you guessed it..I am fine with my morning coffee, fine with lunch (today was 1 scrambled egg with cheese). For dinner I took my aunt downtown and we walked around in the rain and wind (it was kind of exciting even though I don't think she agreed) looking for a new place to have dinner. The three of us..aunt, grandson and I finally stopped at Pastini (she was so worn out and soggy by the time we got there she just said..yes lets eat here). She had a vegetarian pasta dish. I ordered spaghetti and meatballs and Grant ordered broccolini (I love broccolini). We shared..I had about one meatball and about two bites of pasta. it was delicious. It sat fine...We left Pastini and walked quickly back to my class. My aunt waited for me while my daughter took Grant home. Dinner was fine..I felt fine. I went with my aunt up to the hospital..I visited...dinner was fine.

I left for home at 9:30 pm (dinner ended at 6:00). It was there I could tell but still feeling fine. I got home...changed into a robe sat down on the couch watched a little TV surfed the Etsy a little..and guess what decides it is no longer fine? My #$%#% dinner..thats what. from 10 until midnight I worked on getting whatever it was that managed to stick at such a stinking slow pace out. the meatballs were tender. I chewed the crap out of the pasta...everything that came back was small...stupid tights.

I had a similar experience last night. wasn't too hungry and then whammo starving. I had a piece of cheese toast...twice. pht...

During the day things went SO well...I even managed to get a full iron table down without breaking it in half and had NO iron burps...pht. I guess this month it is a case of the night time tights?

thankful...days 18-23. I am thankful for all of those people on this planet who inspire me:

artists
band bloggers
crafters
designers
etsy
magazines

Just Keeping On Keeping On

2011-11-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

My uncle is doing much better. He has to recover and they don't know the extent of the damage to his pancreas but everyday they take out more tubes and he stands up a little more frequently and for a longer time.

I have taken my vitamins everyday but two. I just could not face the iron tablets on Friday and Saturday but I took the rest. I am still really tired and having difficulty getting up in the mornings. My aunt put me onto a new drink-sugar free green tea with with citrus by Sweet Leaf. I took a whole slow release iron pill with it this morning without breaking it in half. I went through OK. Yesterday I took the same one but broken into two pieces and spent the rest of the morning burping up the nastiest iron taste on the planet.

On Thursday we are hosting 14 for Thanksgiving. We have our bronze breasted turkey. David made a menu and grocery list last night. He has already made one cheesecake and is planning another tonight. The bread will be mixed and set to rise over night for baking tomorrow. I am slotted to make a pecan pie (with his crust). I am not sure where everyone is going to sit and if we have enough plates to eat off of but I am sure we can figure it out.

Exit Interview-Finally

2011-11-17T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well holy moly despite my indecision and trepidation about what would be included in my exit interview today I was pleasantly surprised. I was in a round about way offered another job. After I pulled my chin up off the table I pitched that I go on as a courtesy faculty member for a period (that means no pay but campus privileges). I debated long and hard about the pros and cons of cutting ties all together or keeping my foot in the ring but trying to balance my life and work better. The fewer distractions I leave on my desk the more I can focus on what is already there. I have always had a difficult time saying no to things and there is much that is positive about the work I was doing here. On the other hand It would be smart of focus on a few things and get them done...hmm what was that book I just read called again?

After a discussion with David and much thinking and even more thinking after the meeting I think I will stick to the courtesy situation for now and pitch to my paper boss (the one I respect and like) that in exchange for this I work distantly on another stem project with him and begin writing up a few selected articles from the grant I just walked away from. That second part might not be acceptable to them. For some reason they seem to think that when someone leaves a position there is a requirement that they forget everything they ever saw or learned as far as data is concerned. I know better but apparently this misconception is stuck in their minds.

Either way I am all good. I have said my piece and I believe my boss managed to pull off the 'good terms' situation he wanted. Now I need to craft/draft a contract without pay for myself and figure out how to balance all of this and still do all the other stuff that I want (like the knitting store among other things of course). By the way..this boss of mine...he raises fleece bearing goats and was very interested in selling me some of them :). I of course told him about the store.

There was some post meeting talking with a former colleague (who is a great person) and David...and this leads me to today's grateful post.

soo..todays grateful Day 17: I am grateful for people who offered a listening ear, gave me space to cry, gave me support, gave me advice and were just plain old kind to me during all of this job quitting and career crisis/changing/brainstorming/figuring out gig. Yes again I am talking to you! Comments were left...because you are my bandster and boobs girlfriends, my roomie at Boobs was the bomb when I blew a gasket and blubbered on my bed :) David as usual managed his often very annoying but the right thing to do support without advice. My colleague, my family..oh this list goes on. I am gaining peace about the whole decision making thing and I am glad!!!

xxxooo

The Blood Work Is In

2011-11-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

I got a call from the doctors office today. Do you know that if you don't take your vitamins they threaten to haul you in for iron infusions and such? I am apparently even lower on blood than I was in June. This doesn't really surprise me as I already told you I have been pretty tired and in a funk of late. I am still being good with the vitamins but will call her office tomorrow and see what she wants me to do.

All my other blood work was fine this time except for the already stated Iron and vitamin D. Apparently all Oregonians and most other people suffer from low D (especially in the Winter months). My daily vitamins contains 200% of the daily suggested amount so I should improve on that score as well.

I had a real lapse in eating last night and totally paid a price for it. My uncle had his pancreatic cyst drained. It was a very risky procedure and although it was the right thing to do (really the only option). No one wanted to do it. The surgeons didn't want to, the gastro guy couldn't because the cyst made it impossible for him to put the tools down into his stomach. and the radiologist (who didn't attend the group meeting and were ultimately nominated in his absence) Didn't want to. As stated in my last post I am grateful to them because they did a great job but...and a big but here...all of the stress and emotions of the whole thing caught up to me I think. I hit the house very hungry (well at least that is what my head was saying)...and quickly pulled a container of peanut butter cup Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer. Thankfully my daughter had had a few stabs at the thing but what was left I downed quite quickly. I deluded myself into think that since it went down quite nicely that I would be fine.

..yeah at 3am I had one of those lovely cases of acid reflux from hell. I got up a few times but finally gave up at at 3am sat in my chair for an hour messing about on this computer. I went back to bed at 4 and only woke up to say goodbye to my daughter for school at 7am. I promptly fell right back asleep and slept like I was dead until 11:30 am. David obviously came into the room dressed for work and left but I didn't hear a thing.

After I woke up I dashed to the hospital to find my uncle having tubes pulled out. He can now get up to go to the bathroom himself, sit in a recliner, totally aware of who we are and where he is. It was such a contrast to the last months that I was blown away! They are talking of moving him up to the regular ward in a couple of days.

My aunt and I went to the cafeteria for a quick bite at 1pm and we talked about how we both had the urge to celebrate with food! Boy we have problems in our family. We both turned to healthy things. If nothing else my uncle's experience has made us both aware of how important it is to take care of yourself. She had a salad and I had 1/2 a cup of chicken noodle soup.

Needless to say this evening..there is and will be no more ice cream in this house for quite some time to come. If I want a frosty treat that bad I will have to return to the protein drink.

Day 16 thanks: Girlfriends are the best. I was never a big friends kind of girl as a child and teenager. I have always been more of a serial monogamous best friend kind of person. As I get older and more mature I am finding that it is perfectly wonderful to have lots of girl friends :) I am grateful for all of you..my online banded blogger girlfriends (yes I mean you!!), my local bunco girlfriends (oh we laughed a lot tonight at bunco), my neighborhood girlfriends, and finally my family but I really like you as a girlfriend friends. We cry together, say the right things to each other, say the wrong things to each other and patch it up, drink coffee together, shop together, share our struggles and successes. Girlfriends are priceless.

xxxooo

And Day 15 arrives.

2011-11-15T23:15:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for the radiologists of the VA hospital. They put up a bit of a fight because the procedure was risky but my uncle has a drain installed and has lost more than 18 pounds and 6 liters of pancreatic fluid out of his abdominal cavity. He is breathing much better and sleeping solidly for the first time in ages.

His nurse made a joke after he was back in his room and settled in that he had just undergone the VA wieghtloss plan. It was a long and stressful day but turned out well.

On the Band front:

I have taken my vitamins and meds like a good girl since Friday. There have been difficult moments but so far...taking my prozac in the morning and if there is still room or the pills go through my stoma nicely I will chase it with half of my iron tablet. Before I eat lunch or if I am thirsty at midmorning I will take the other chopped bit of iron tablet and chew on my gummy vitamins.

If I have been good and gotten it all down I am free to eat lunch. Who would have that that withholding food from myself until after meds would do the trick??

I am still pretty tight and contemplating getting a tad of an unfill. My thinking is that if my vitamins and mineral balances continue to be a problem I will have to take the unfill...if that unfill means I gain some weight so be it but no more than 170 and I will do my best to eat better but low cal so I can maintain my weight and just run with a looser band. So far the pills are going down and I can tolerate the tightness. I have had a few problems here and there with PB's...oh corn why art thou so evil :).

xxxooo

Thankful Day 14

2011-11-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for people who touch your lives and are kind, invested, and interested. I had lunch with a colleague today. He is laid back but worries about his kids. We talked it out. I hope I made him feel better. We talked about my ex-job..he made me feel better and inspired me. At the hospital the dialysis nurse, the RN, the med student and the doctor and the hospice counselor all asked how my weekend was. They asked how we were holding up in this hospital gig and then complimented my aunt on her caring and helpfulness and kindness to the staff.

Welll this is a funny thing. I wrote this post last night and thought I published it but here it sits. I guess today's thankful is:

I am thankful for the draft function that automatically saves my posts when I absentmindedly forget to actually hit publish after all that typing.

xxxooo

Getting Ready

2011-11-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

1. Getting dressed takes a lot more work than it once did. Don't get me wrong this isn't a complaint but I changed into three outfits on Sunday morning, put on makeup saturday night and looked in the mirror several times on each day checking fluffing and asking Davids opinion. The question I ask myself is why? Why didn't this occur to me before. In this conversation with myself I think the answer is kinda complicated. I think I avoided looking at what I had done to my body and if I didn't look I didn't face the problem. I think I was so depressed by how I would look in clothes that I just put on the same old uniform each day and didn't try anything new. My uniform was slacks or jeans, a t-shirt or tank top and a blouse or cardigan to drape over my fat. Was I fooling anyone. Yes...myself I think. Finally I don't think I had the energy at that time to mess with any of this overly much. I was tired...all of the time.

2. Yesterday we went shopping for Christmas. We have stuff to send to my parents house with two of my daughters this Thanksgiving. We will be staying home and celebrating with Nichole, Grant, Nichole's boyfriend, some family friends. I only wish we were in our new house to do it but it seems we are destined to spend this holiday on the carpet and cooking in a small kitchen. We also have stuff to get into international mail to sent to the UK. We got some Oregon cards too!! :)

3. Getting things done is still at the gather and sort stage. I cleaned out another box of stuff from my old office yesterday. I managed to throw away 50%. My goal is...cutting the clutter by 50% I hope I can keep it up!!

4. My uncle was scheduled for a procedure for Tuesday. They are trying to relieve some of the cyst he has developed on his pancreas so they can start trying to figure out the extent of work that will need doing on his pancreas. He is in pain and the cyst is pushing all of his internal organs into tight quarters. Last night they told my aunt they would be doing it today and then this morning when I rushed down to be with her while they did it..they went an cancelled the thing. sheesh...It is back on for tomorrow or Wednesday. I hope they do it soon and he can start moving forward towards recovery.

5. My daughter is having trouble getting things done :) I am starting to see a theme in our home...We are going to work together I think to improve ourselves.

Getting it Done

2011-11-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

I went to the office supply store today...ohh I love a good office supply store. I now have a expandable folder and some pretty files to create year long calendar. I have always dreamed of getting all of my birthday cards done ahead of time and then when the calendar changes mailing them so that all of my family and friends get a card from me. This has always been a dream..never a reality. Most of the time I send just cards to my nieces and nephews and most of the time they are late. Well now thanks to the Getting Things Done author I will have a year long calendar set up with a month set up day by day and the remainder set up a month at a time. I think I will use post it notes if something is date specific.

David got refill stickers for her label maker..so my labels will be lovely. Now I have to do the not so fun part--sorting through the crap. I have started and even sorted a little more last night but there is soooooo much to go through. I am determined.

Day two and I have now taken my vitamins and meds like a good compliant girl. So far...I still take the prozac in the capsule with my breakfast coffee. I opened them and OMG they were awful. Worse even than the iron drops. So...basically my morning meal consists of coffee and pills. I have started taking the vitamins for lunch. I break up the iron tablet into three pieces and sit and drink something (today it was diet orange soda but yesterday it is water) and then chew up my two gummy vitamins before I am allowed to eat anything. Again the pills temporarily fill me up and I have to linger much longer over my lunch that I normally would.

Tonight a couple of friends of Davids from work, and the two of us are going out to a swanky restaurant here in Portland call Beast. It has a tasting menu and according to the friend is a place to learn a ton about culinary artistry. I am the designated driver and will attempt a report tomorrow.

Friday: Thankful for veterans who were given yesterday as a holiday but still had to work. My aunt said..isn't it funny that kids get Veteran's day off but veterans have to work. She is so right. With the amount of time I have been spending at the hospital I have learned that there are many veterans who go into the hospital without any family. These guys spend long periods of time with only nurses and doctors to communicate with. Although they get the best care that I have ever seen medically it is sad that many do not have friends and family to look out for them and keep their spirits up. War is a nasty job and I am thankful to those who do it even when the decision to participate in said wars may or may not be their own or just.

Saturday: I am thankful for office goods. Retail therapy and office goods are mood lifting :)

Tired but doing something about it

2011-11-10T23:30:00.001-08:00

I went to the doctor today for a bit of a chastisement. Remember back in June when I was told I needed to start taking my vitamins and iron and such? Well umm yeah..I didn't. I have been really run down lately, tired, depressed...just no oomph at all. Well the doctor re-told me that I was down two pints of blood low in a bunch of vitamins and minerals (b-12, iron, D)...This time I was a good girl and went right out to find the vitamins and I have officially taken my first dose this evening. She took another blood sample and will let me know what it says. I predict it will be even worse than last time (based on how I feel).

So the winy part where I defend my stupidity is next: I am tight and taking the plethora of pill she wants me too has been really hard. I have a heck of a time just getting the prozac down. Well...I sorted that out while I sorted out the vitamin situation. I asked the pharmacist if I could dump out my capsules..and I can. Tomorrow morning I will try my first dose of powdered prozac. I will then chase it with 3 grown-up gummy-vites (that have 200% of the recommended b-12 and about as much D). I will chase these with a cut in half iron tablet (that liquid was just toooooo nasty to try again). I will get one of those monthly pill boxes tomorrow when I go out for files (see the next paragraph) to get my life sorted.

I finished the Getting Things Done book I mentioned a month or so ago. I am now in the action stages. The first step is to gather all of my life's crap and sort it quickly into time needed to complete categories. I also sorted mine into knitting, mathy, needs doing right now, stuff to read sometime, and math class (that pile didn't fit on my stacker). I sorted through all of my piles in the living room and cleaned off my bedside table (after 9:30 pm tonight even). It is time I got my life back in order don't you think?
No more woulda shoulda coulda's and much more got it, did it, doing more.

November Thankful:

Day 10: I am thankful for the doctors that my uncle has pulling for him. They are talking about surgery now but it is all very risky and scary. I have never seen such a great group of people collaborate like this. I only dream of this kind of collaboration in my work.

xxxooo

Hungry-Walking for Food

2011-11-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

Day 9: I am thankful for all of the people who may be unrecognized but do nice things everyday just because.

Oh I am full...I am old school full. Stuff I have learned today:

1. My medication definitely tightens my band. I ran out and only took one pill this morning. I was about to go get a refill when I discovered I was out of them and my doctors office was closed. I saved the last one for tomorrow.
2. I remember that full feeling and I kind of miss it but glad I only have it occasionally.
3. I am totally glad my band is there for me.
4. We walked to another nearby strip mall tonight and then back to our closest business area to get the mail and stuff. I am glad that in our new lifestyle includes walking. I put in about a mile or two and worked towards earning the dinner I have now sitting comfortably but fully in my lower tummy...yumm.

xxxooo

Weekend and knitting store brain dump

2011-11-08T21:58:00.000-08:00

Day 6: I am grateful for my aunt and her ability to see the gray in life.

Day 7: I am grateful for friends who invite me to lunch and a visit.

Day 8: I am grateful for nurses who offer good care to patients in need.

I spent Sunday and Monday on a quick trip to the town where my aunt lives to help her load up some more things from her home, pick up mail and stuff. I managed to get in a little more antique store shopping (found a very cool dress from the 60's that I want to copy a pattern from), some vintage buttons, antique hangers and talked to my aunt about selling me some of her shelves/display pieces to put in my store (when we finally get moved in). With an end in sight I have started thinking about what we will do furniture-wise, what I will call the shop..how I will decorate the shop...some possible classes...etc.

I will tell you more as my ideas solidify but it will definitely be a mixture of antique and new knitting and spinning materials. There will be a selection of UK goods (and hopefully some direct from the spinner and dye-er UK yarns). I also hope to find some antique spinning wheels.

I am thinking of offering several kids learn to knit classes, using knitting and crocheting to embellish clothing and home-goods. etc. Grace is excited and has been drawing possible logo's for me. I have a name figured out but can't tell you all until I have gotten my domain name sorted. There will be a webpage and facebook links so watch out :)

xxxooo

Penny For the Guy

2011-11-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

We are living in the US but the holiday period that shifts my husband to a bit of homesickness every year is today. Guy Fawkes Day. He talked about it every Independence day and has for several years wanted to go home during this period so he can celebrate.

We have yet to make it to the UK in November but our lovely friends who are also UK expats and a few years ago they began saving some of their fireworks from July 4 until tonight. They throw a party and we go. We are looking forward to dropping a penny for the guy on the way in the front door, burning a few sweat sock-guys in effigy in the patio fireplace, eating, drinking and visiting with our friends and neighbors (British and non-British alike).

Happy Guy Fawkes Day.

Day 5 Thankful: I am thankful for David's steadfast partnership. He is not a very demonstrative guy but he is solid and steady and sometimes that is much more important and needed.

xxxooo

Crazy Friday

2011-11-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)

I don't have a desk anymore :) and I like it thank you very much. I have a desk in my house..there is nothing on it but one envelope and the computer. The chair however is piled with winter coats that everyone has been too lazy to hang up in the closet. All of my non-work these days is done on a laptop in a chair with no deskiness.

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

I need to go get my coffee and go to the hospital. I am developing a headache because I slept in and then have been goofing around on my computer instead of getting on the road.

3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

My 'nightstand' is two book shelves and way to full of crap to list it all. I have a bowl of pens and pencils (a big one), jewelry laying around, a lamp, post its, magazines, books, change, a book light and a few pairs of glasses. hmm now that I write this I notice that i have made my nightstand into a desk..hmmm what does that imply? that I like working from bed? now what does that imply? :) haha.

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

To finally close on our new house. Furniture items for that house. a trip somewhere warm.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

I had a very stressful week (parent crap of which I cannot talk on a public forum). In my retired status I have managed to fill my days with business (I think it is a major personality flaw of mine). I went every day down to the hospital, had my grandson for a sleepover, Halloween festivities...etc.

I have blogged everyday and the epiphany of thankfulness I had on Tuesday has really refocused my week. I am working really hard and looking for things to be thankful for instead of moaning (I am really a natural pessimist I think).

I have done some reading this week but been horrible with the commenting. Just a few here and there. I have noticed that she who does not comment gets fewer comments herself...hmm is that the key to the people who get 40 comments after every post?

Day 4 Thankful post: I am thankful for Starbucks: venti peppermint mocha frappacino with chocolate curls. (I know this is not a very dignified one but geezz I need a little caffeine to start my engine).

Thankful November Day 3

2011-11-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

A PHOTO RERUN: Last year the day after Thanksgiving the whole family went to a Christmas tree farm and harvested Christmas trees. This was a photo from that day.
From left to right in back: Jamari (Cinda's BF). Cinda (daughter number 3), David (Husband), Me, Meghan (daughter number 2), Nichole (daughter number 1), Grant in her arms and Grace in front (daughter number 4).

Day 3: I am grateful that I have four very sensitive and understanding daughters who each have a distinct personality and various likes and dislikes. They each genuinely like each other and enjoy spending time together and with us.

Today's wrap up-my grandson, Grant, spent the night yesterday and I learned the power of thankful thinking. Just writing down my intentions seemed to impact how I viewed the rest of the day. Now don't get me wrong....I still gnashed and thought over the cracks but...I could at least see the things to be thankful for in sharp focus. Grant and I walked to Starbucks, watched school house rock together, went down to the hospital to visit with my aunt and had lunch with my parents and aunt and Cinda (daughter number 3). I always feel like I am Charlie Chan when I name them that way but it is how I can help you understand who they are :))

While I drove home Grant fell asleep and by the time I got home I was so worried about him having an accident that I made him go potty when we hit the house...well the nap was done after that. We chilled and watched a little TV. Grant and I went with Grace to choir practice and he played a little, I knitted a little, we colored in his Go Diego Go coloring book. We ate some Halloween Candy and we took a couple peeks in at Grace singing. Oh..we also petted a really cute dog.

We then stopped at the grocery store to get Grant replacement for his lost pacifiers (he still holds them while he sleeps at night). and some food for dinner. We came home, ate...he had a little pre-poop accident in his pants and my wonderful husband cleaned him up (I had just eaten and my gag reflex was working overtime)....shudder....Grant took a bath and then he put on his pajamas and crawled into the little cocoon bed I made for him on the floor next to where I sleep. We read a dinosaur book and then he fell asleep.

After a little TV, David and I also went to bed and we all had the best nights sleep in a long time. In the morning Grant woke up and hopped into my bed for a cuddle (he was very cute and said.."ohh I snuggle with mama in the mornings"). and then we got up and left for his preschool.

After a calm (he loves his school) preschool drop I went up to the hospital to check in on my aunt and uncle. My uncle had a fever spike but the meds kicked in later in the afternoon to bring his temp down. I took my aunt to my house for a shower, laundry and in for a few groceries. She impresses me with her strength and kindness.

We waited for Grace (daughter number 4) to get out of school and then went back to the hospital for a quick visit and then back down to grants preschool to pick him up. The three of us went and got dinner at the grocery store and had a picnic back in my oldest daughter's dorm room. Grace Grant and I watched a little Wild America on DVD and then walked over to my class where we met Nichole (daughter number 1) who watched the kids while I went to class. Grace and I are now home..she is in bed and I am typing this probably boringly detailed post for yall :)

All in all a very nice couple of days when you think about it from a thankful perspective :) :)

xxxooo

The Longer I Live the More I Figure out I have Learned Little

2011-11-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

1. Halloween and candy are evil.
2. I still let discord with my mother disturb my attitude, mood and sense of self-worth.
3. When I let the discord bug me the Halloween candy seems to scream all the louder.
4. I have wonderful children and a grandchild and need to focus on the positive instead of the negative.
5. I have a wonderful husband who is there for me.
6. The number of positives outweigh the negatives to such an extent why do I continue to let the cracks impact me so greatly.

arghghgh :) I think a little thankful November is in order:

Day 1: David is a great feet warmer.
Day 2: It is a joy to watch School House Rock with my grandson. Three really is a magic number.

Pictures worth a smile:

Grace amongst the leaves
a fall crow in the leaves

Grant with a silly face.
xxxooo

Holding Pattern

2011-10-30T22:25:00.001-07:00

After a bit of a sitting on the edge of our seat day on Friday my uncle has continued to take us on a bit of a roller coaster ride. The surgeons were talking intervention on Friday as his temperature was going up and no one could figure out why. Everyone was too afraid to intervene and put off doing anything once again but then miraculously his fever came down and he seemed to have make an improvement. Then...today...the fever is back. Who knows why? they don't but there will be yet another meeting on Tuesday to talk over with the whole team (he has quite the team working on his various body parts) how to proceed. My guess is that we will leave with yet another consensus that more time needs to be given for his cyst to mature (I know I am being waffly here..you know one of those situations where you don't want to say too much in a public forum but enough to let you know what is going on here).

My food is messed up..I had one meal today and two coffees plus some candy and a couple of cookies. Not good..nothing to be proud of. and likely to cause a weight loss tomorrow (wrong feedback for not doing what I know is good for me). I ate better on Saturday but still not what I should be doing and I know it. I was really not in a good frame of mind today. I did not haul myself out of bed until almost noon and then it messed the rest of the day up. The dark and rainy weather is not helping my attitude or mood for sure. The scale was a touch down but not yet on the low of 161.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Grace is excited and is either dressing up in her pioneer costume or as a peacock. She went to a harvest party today in the pioneer outfit. She is prepared for either costume as Cinda gave her the peacock gear and with black stretch pants and a turquoise fleece I found tonight and the pioneer outfit is from her Oregon trail reenactment from last spring.

bleck...just feeling blecky ..not up not down...just can't be bothered to feel anything. Not sure what is going on but obviously worth working on. It if funny isn't it that although I love being thinner now...I like the ease in which I can find and wear clothes but getting this control over the body part of my life has really not solved all of my moods. I intellectually knew that the one thing was not the root of all problems...but somehow down deep I think I deluded myself into thinking it would.

xxxooo

BYOC..Its Friday

2011-10-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?

I began blogging almost four years ago (I cannot believe it has been that long!). It is funny really. I have never been a journal keeper or consistent at anything really. This blog has become quite the marker in my life. In a way it matches my weightloss...finally stuck both out for the long term. Do you think the theme about most things is slow and steady? :) I have sort of taken that on as my motto in life these days.

2. What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs?

I like both. Somedays I just cannot wait to get some profound thing down that has been rolling in my head or some event that has occurred and I start drafting the blog post even before I am near a computer. At other times I read a blog post that touches me, makes me feel close to another blogger, sympathize with their words or even be inspired by a break through or struggle. I also LOVE reading the comments people post..both to others and to my own posts. Sometimes the real gem is in a comment.

3. What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?

hmm I agree with Read...that you can connect with other people that you have never met. Even more odd I sometimes wonder if I connect more with them on the computer than in real life. I am sorta shy really and my experience at boobs was a tad overwhelming...but that brings us to number 4.

Also-read number 1. That whole long term thing is pretty powerful in my head :)

4. Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?

I have met several both at BOOBS and when they came to Portland or I travelled to other places. I find that the one on one meetings are the most fun (but that might be my nerdy inability to handle socializing in crowds well). see above.

5. Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?

I focus on my lapband but of course weightloss is not a single item issue so everything creeps in. I keep some stuff to myself if I am concerned it will hurt anyone I care about. See below for more on that topic :)

I have another blog-We did it-I am lame at staying on top of it. For some reason weight-loss has been a topic I can stick with better. I am planning on opening a knitting store so my brain is working on yet another blog/webpage to accompany that adventure.

6. Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?

I am public, open and at times I wish I was anonymous. I do keep stuff back because I know 'people; who know me read this. Of course if you don't have something nice to say about someone you might as well keep it to yourself right? I wish I could keep this motto better in my off-blog life :)

7. What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?

Keep at it. Be yourself and be honest that is what we really want to hear about and what we will connect with. It is also what you need to do so that you can use this as a record for your life. Don't worry about how many people follow you or don't. there are plenty who are lurking and think of this blog for yourself. A place to get your thoughts and feelings out and keep a record. I cannot tell you the number of times I have gone back and discovered a pattern to my behavior that needed changing or just recognizing so I didn't feel so bad about it. THis blog has done wonders to help me examine myself..warts and all.

8. Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know its address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?

Goodness yes. I have friends in my neighborhood, extended family members, colleagues...it is sometimes pretty creepy to think about. My husband reads it sometimes even. Everyone has been very supportive and nice about the blog. Again this knowledge sometimes causes me to keep things back but hey...I don't need to say everything do I? :)

9. Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?

I do enjoy it. If it were a chore I wouldn't do it. I blog sometimes a few times a week, sometimes every day and other times with week gaps. I have actually increased the regularity over time because I have figured out that the venting and looking back is so beneficial. I do tend to blog more when stuff is happening around here either with my band, eating or life events. I will let days go by when things are boring or too busy to take a moment to stop and type an entry.

xxxooo

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

2011-10-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

The good: I walked into my uncle's hospital room at 9pm and he said hello and was awake and perky. He still cannot talk very well with his breathing tube in but he communicated quite well with his face, eyes, hands and even attempted to note. It was great to seem him doing so well. There is one more week before they can really intervene but we will know more about the plan on Friday.

I did very poorly on my first math exam. The teacher said that my running out of time was no big deal and that it would all even out in the end. He then handed me the exam and it was horrible! I made a bunch of stupid mistakes, was just plain wrong on one of the problems and didn't finish two of them. each missed question dropped my test score by another grade....blech. Apparently I need to re-new my focus on that aspect of things.

Well the tightness of last week has transformed into an empty tummy. Today I was starving! I could eat anything that moves! My tummy is growling right now but of course I am scared to eat anything because it is bed time....going to go to bed to survive it I guess.

xxxooo

My Coffee is Ruined!!

2011-10-24T22:22:00.001-07:00

Remember when I said in my last post that the coffee in New York was not as good as it is in Portland...I came home and had a hot cup of peppermint mocha (cause Autumn is really here and it was fecking cold). Note the use of that non-dirty word my Irish pals taught me....anyway....my cup of coffee was just as sharp as it was in New York. I think they have changed to a Winter blend and I for one don't like it. I might...get ready to hold onto something or sit down now....have to start making my coffee at HOME!!!

I will let you know how long I last and if, when i buckle tomorrow, it is still bad enough to put such crazy thoughts into my head.

The rest of the day was as usual my normal crazy whirlwind kind. I drove Grace to school, then went to the jeweler to get my newly resized wedding and anniversary rings back. I am now settled at a size 5 ring (I do love this yes I do). I also picked up some toys for my uncle to fiddle with in his hospital bed.

I then went down to school to take the test I skipped on Thursday. I thought I was doing very well but they stopped me 2 questions before I was done. I am not very happy about it and find it hard to believe that the instructor stopped my classmates on Thursday. I will talk to him after class tomorrow night. I studied my backside off and still didn't feel very comfortable going into the test. I will need to work harder I guess.

After the test I ran up to the hospital and with a mask on for germ protection visited my uncle. My aunt washed his new toys (a rubics cube, a koosh ball that lights up and an expando tube thing that makes noises but takes a little bit of muscle to pull open and push closed). Apparently providing small toys to patients in ICU helps them focus better and recover. He did seem to like the ball and made motions as if he were about to throw it. He did a bunch of passing it back and forth and when the nurse told him he should squeeze it to strengthen his hands he did. He also winked at me and mouthed a few cuss words at one point.

My uncle had to go in for some tests so I took my aunt out on a few errands, lunch and a quick stop at one of my favorite knitting shops.

I then headed home arriving just after she did and managed to spend the rest of the evening until just now (10pm), cleaning up the various messes the two of them made while I was gone, having a little hair coloring session with Cinda (we both used henna and I did not get any hives!!!). Prepping dinner for tomorrow, making Grace's lunch for school and finally cooking up a batch of cinnamon spice pumpkin seeds. I also organized Grace's notebook (her old system was just not working). Does anyone have any hints on how to get your 10 year old more organized???

I did not do my math work so will have to do it in the morning nor did I sit down or take a nap..or any of the things I wished I could do earlier today :(....I guess I will have to be satisfied with productive.

My band behaved herself today: breakfast hot peppermint mocha, Snack: A wee little candy bar, lunch: 1 cup of vegetable split pea soup and four bites of Marion-berry pie. Dinner: two small pieces of naan bread Pizza with spinach and eqqplant. Dessert: one garlic cheese curd and 1 cup of orange juice.

I managed all of my pills plus some sudafed and tylenol. I felt much better today and even better this evening. No upset tummy or too tight band at all.

xxxooo

Mystery Solved

2011-10-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

I had a second disaster day needing to run to bathrooms with colleagues ( I love making friends with nurses as they are so cool with something so small as a little throwing up). These women were also VERY interested and nice when I told them I had a band. I have just spent the last four days at a Grounded Theory research conference. Grounded Theory is a theoretical research method where you take a bunch of data (from interviews or any other place) and use it to figure out and document a groups main concern and then document a theory about how the group works to resolve the main concern. The conference is filled with people who study any kind of subject (nurses, psychologists, business people, educators, etc.). We just like using the method of data analysis. The people I do this research method with are the best...and the kinds of professionals I dreamed working with when I was a lowly grad student planning a career in academia. This dream was not realized in my field as I have found for the most part the colleagues I have ended up with (not all but many) have been very difficult to work with and the hyper competition, control and ego has been disappointing.

So I have 'retired' but these fine students and colleagues make me regret giving up higher ed altogether. I am scheming about ways to have my perfect working and business life..Oh no don't you worry the knitting store is still a go but I don't want to walk away from all these wonderful researchy people either.

Back to the band-So two of the worse tight days I have had in ages were Thursday and Saturday. I was truly thinking Sturday about how quickly I could get a little unfill and viola the problem became apparent. I have picked up some bug and am coughing with a stuffy nose. the flu/cold thing washed over me last night while in the coolest bar in the west village. The west village was a LOVELY place to visit and I definitely want to go back during my next New York Visit. I am taking it easy and only have liquids and medication today (tylenol and sudafed).

If the last few days continue in any way next week I am for sure going in for a little unfill.

The list follows of all the fun stuff I did and saw in New York-

1. found out one of my colleagues reads this blog (kind of embarrassing but cool at the same time).
2. Met with 20 of the smartest student theorists I know.
3. Met with four of the greatest experiences grounded theorists I know.
4. Walked in Central park
5. Had drinks, coffee and then lunch in the trump tower.
6. visited Tiffanys for the first time and bought a ring to treat myself, a necklace that matches for David to give me for Christmas, and Grace her first tiny little piece of nice jewelry.
7. Sat in a cool lounge bar in the West Village.
8. Hung out with three gals from Ireland and one from Australia who were so smart and fun. The Irish girls taught me that 'whats the crack' just means whats going on, 'Feck off' is not a dirty word and 'hurling' is a good thing in Ireland :)
9. Saw a film being shot on the south end of Central Park.
10. had warm Bailey's (very tummy soothing and tasty).
11. Saw a really cool and inexpensive hotel in the West village called the Jane-I will stay there sometime. It has shared bathrooms but they were immaculate (believe me I am picky).
12. Had a great hotel in Secaucus this time and rode the bus in to the port authority and out again by myself...was a bit scary at first but was also quite fun.
13. Found the New Yorkers are quite friendly and nice. Even bus drivers (i think friendlier than they are in Portland).
14. Starbucks coffee and service are much tastier and efficient in Portland.
15. I still LOVE walking neghborhoods in New york. The upper East side is excellent as is Hells Kitchen and the West Village.
16. There is still so much yet to be seen..I don't think I will ever get tired of that lovely town.

xxxooo

Why Do I Never Learn?

2011-10-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

Of course the tights have hit again and my brain has seemingly gone as well. I have been fairly careful. I had a bit of indigestion last night (a gift following an 8pm ice cream cone before I got back to my hotel). I was awake until 2am burping it and woke up off an on all night going back and forth in my head between the tummy troubles and phantom bed bugs that I imagined in the bed. I swear sometimes my imagination is just ridiculous. At one point I nearly jumped out of my skin when I thought I felt a soft warm lump move under the sheets (it was a lumpy sheet...nothing moving).

7:30am came way to quickly given my poor sleeping and I hopped on the New Jersey to New York City bus...a quick 15 minutes and I was in and walking up to the conference hotel (yes with a coffee stop). The walk took longer this morning than the bus ride.

I had my coffee and took my pills with no problem. I had a fiber bar (one of the lovely and delicious freebies stockpiled from BOOBS). I will give you a full name and review tomorrow when I dig the wrapper out of the depths of my purse. I went to lunch at a nearby deli and shared a rueben with a colleague (it was a stupid beast of thing and way to big for any human to consume..even two of us). I went for a walk around Central Park and then back for a second coffee and more conferencing...Note..all food items were fine even the somewhat fatty corned beef.

So dinner..yeah well dinner was not so good. Only one of the 4 women I was dining with knew that I had a band. Before we were done..well they all knew (I figured it was better than saying I had food poisoning). Anyway...I had a vodka and orange juice chased by three mozzarella cheese sticks. I picked carefully thinking these would be a safe-ish choice. yeah..not so much. I wasn't sure before we left the restaurant but you know..a good walk usually does the trick. Well...no not this time. I had to stop in a planter while my colleagues walked on and then again at a bar (thankfully I made it in and down the stairs in time). I felt better and we went to see Pricilla Queen of the Desert on Broadway and I did OK but by the time we got out of the show my tummy was complaining again (a bit odd now cause usually it is on with the stuck thing or off...not some wait and see place). I ended up ducking into another bar on my way (thankfully alone this time) to the bus station to go back out to my hotel. Finally I purged whatever it was offending my poor tummy or stoma and although I feel a bit acidy now I am doing ok (at 1:30 am this time).

So..What is the deal with that? I keep trying to be grateful for the episodic crisis stuck episodes but there are times..like this one...when the embarrassment is a bit high. I know that this band keeps me from gaining weight. I know that if I loosened it I would likely gain at least 5 pounds. I know that most of the time I am just fine. It is just at these slap me up on the side of the face times that I question my restriction.

It is worth it. I did tell the women I was with about the band (and I always tell people who ask point blank). They were curious and nice about it all (they were all in medical related professions which helped).

Embarrassing to say the least however.

Oh did I say yet how much I love New York City? I do...stuck episodes and all.

xxxooo

New York Bound

2011-10-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

I am off to New York for the rest of the week. If anyone is up for a lunch or dinner I can be reached at tina@deadhat.com (or my cell from the boobs list). if you want me to call just email me your number.

If anyone wants to do a swanky tasting menu at some cool place I am game, drinks..I am game, yarn stores..I am game.

Just contact me.

xxxooo

Monday: Getting Stuff Done

2011-10-17T08:47:00.001-07:00

At Barnes and Noble I picked up one of those self-help books I have always turned a sour face towards. it is called: Getting Things Done. Before I lost the weight I felt like I got more done than I do now. I think it is because I have so much more energy now that I have too many possibilities that I just ignored before. Well I have never been one to shirk on opportunities (unless they involved dirt or exercise before band). Well now even those options (except the sleeping in the dirt kind) are no longer off the table.

Anyway...I think I need some help on how to organize myself so I can get more out of my time spent. I know productive people and I don't feel like I am one of them. I am only in the first chapter but the book has already offered up something that is good. The author says that if we don't write down what we need to get done (and he says like specific stuff) our short term memory will keep chewing on it until we do. All of the brain chewing and thinking is a waste of time that could be better spent actually getting some of the tasks done. I believe that I am totally guilty of this and sat right down last night and made a short list of 'stuff' that needs doing. I just picked one task (finishing up the job quit). I have two bucket items to complete and I will complete them today.

:) Coffee time.
xxxooo

Skilled Shopping

2011-10-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

David and I were blessed with a free Saturday. Grace left to stay the night at a friends and David and I debated staying home and getting some work accomplished...but quickly rejected that idea to go out and about Portland and shop.

When David and I were dating 11 long years ago we did a lot of shopping. We went to book stores, to technology stores, to furniture stores. We sometimes bought but at that time we mostly just looked and dreamed. We dreamed about a library, a house, and a life together.

Today we relived a bit of our dating days and skipped and dipped about town. We started our afternoon hopping down to the hospital to visit my uncle and take my aunt out to lunch and a twirl around an antique mall (she has been at the hospital and still has a long haul ahead of her as does my uncle). It was a totally cool antique mall and I got some great ideas for my future knitting shop. The three of us had lunch at the antique store deli.

We took my aunt back up to the hospital and took off for a look around Fry's (Davids idea of computer geek heaven). I do protest but always find lots of interesting stuff to look at. Today we found a USB car power splitter (so both David and I can charge our phones at the same time or charge and listen to music at the same time). I also got an external DVD player to hook onto my laptop and David got a new computer keyboard. We also picked up a couple of books on R (stats software).

We then went to Crate and Barrel (My top shopping choice). We had a look around and dreamed about what kinds of furniture might or might not fit in our house that seems to be never or ever?? closing. We then walked around the rest of the mall and looked at clothes, cookware, the Apple store, Saks etc.

We had dinner at a bar (had good food but most importantly..no kids allowed :))...The bar had lovely Tapas. David had three and I had one and a nice Vodka and orange juice.

On our way home we stopped off at Barnes and Noble and did a bit more dreaming among the books. I looked at the small business section and the knitting section (of course) and David looked around the cookbooks.

We came home for a walk around the neighborhood and stopped off to peek in the windows of our 'house in waiting' to do some final dreaming about furniture and shop fittings placement.

Tonight we have had a sit around with a little Words among friend back and forth play on our laptops and I watched a couple of episodes of my new favorite series life unexpected (a netflix series find). I don't know what this says about my taste in TV as I have watched all of season one and didn't really pick up on the geared for teenage viewers thing. Sure...it is about a teenager but I am much more interested in the sappy interchange with the parents and the unconventional dysfunctional family stuff. I guess I just like TV fluff? :) Anyway..I think it is really good.

All in all...today was a great day.

The Day was OK

2011-10-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

I finally moved. I coffeed, I walked. I did a bit of work, prepped dinner and put it in the oven (I have to brush up on my stay at home domestic Goddess skills). I then went down to see my aunt and uncle at the hospital.

The highlight (Ok the fact that it is done not the actual doing part). is that I moved out of my office. My aunt rode down with me and we packed up everything and shoved it into my car. I did my usual Thursday night grandson daycare duties and took my aunt tot he grocery store, and then back to my math class. After class finished (8:30 pm) I went back to my office and cleaned off my computer and packed up what little stuff remained. Tomorrow I can drop off a few books to another colleague's place and turn in my keys...I feel cleansed :)

xxxooo

Must Move

2011-10-13T10:12:00.001-07:00

I am having trouble getting out of bed. I just bet I had this problem last year. Have I said that I hate rainy weather yet? There is no light coming in my room in the mornings so as far as I am concerned no reason to wake up right? I guess it is time for another coffee and walk eh?

xxxooo

Tuesday Toes-day

2011-10-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

I don't really have a huge amount to say today. i stayed home this morning (kind of my first real day of unemployment). I went back to bed after Grace and David left. Got up at 9am (yes i appreciated the decadence). I then went for a walk to get my coffee and then walked and took my pills until it was all gone.

I have been kind of sluggish and depress-y again but Cinda (nursing student daughter) suggested I get out and go for a walk even though the weather has turned cruddy again. Sooo..I took her advice and it really helped my day. I came home and did an hour super clean session before my first two students came for a math tutoring session.

I then had some lunch, did my math homework for my class and hit the road to get stuff for my aunt and go see my uncle at the hospital. My aunt had a window leak (it has been pouring buckets here). I went to the motor home supply store and got her some caulk and stopped at the hardware store for a caulk gun. I also picked up some sticky weather stripping in case the caulk didnt work. I also dug out a battery so she could get her radio working. After a gas-up and a double drive through for coffee (they messed up my first order!!!).

I drove down to the hospital and saw my uncle (he is much the same today but waking up a bit more). He is not happy about being on the ventilator and gets very agitated whenever he wakes up. This is a good sign but of course difficult to watch him struggle. I played the man and wrangled the caulk gun to seal my aunts motor-home window. It is quite fun to sometimes do all those things I usually pass off to David or some-other man to fix for me. The whole time I had visions of my uncle chewing me out because it is not a perfect seal by any means. It is however funny how I felt close to him in a sense in helping my aunt fix (no matter how crudely) her place to stay while he is trying to get better.

I took the bus down to the university to pick up my grandson and hang out for an hour in horrific rain. We both were soaked while waking from his daycare center to some other buildings on campus. I took him out for dinner here because after we could walk to my class without going outside again. We ate and then played with the shells, glass and rocks I picked up on Lake Michigan. He has a really good time sorting them and then pretending that they are little people.

I went to my math class and learned some cool mathy stuff and the walked out into the rain again to catch the bus back up to the hospital, my uncle, aunt and the parked car. A quick 20 minute drive home and I am now sitting in my robe with my soggy feet steaming in slippers.

All in all it was a good but sorta busy day. I dropped one of those six pounds this morning.

xxxooo

Glimmers of Good News

2011-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

1. I am not a particularly hard core US citizen. I do not hang flags by my front porch and I do not sing "Im Proud to be an American" for all to hear. I just have to say something about the Veterans Administration Hospital. I have been VERY impressed by the care my uncle has received during the last several weeks. The nurses not only have given him good care they have explained everything about his treatment to his family. In addition everyday teams of doctors come through and check on him. At least two doctors out of the team talk individually to us to let us know how things are going. There is a surgeon team, a renal team, and the general team who are all working together to coordinate his care. These doctors meet together and talk with the nurses taking care of him to discuss next steps, progress and concerns. In addition to all of this his family are invited to a family meeting every Monday to go over his condition and talk about decisions made and next steps.

On top of this stellar medical care the hospital staff just show they care about families. Today while my aunt and I were coming back from lunch his doctor stopped and talked to us again to update us on information that came in during the last hour. Just after that one of her old nurses from weeks ago stopped us to ask how he was doing and took extra time to ask how my aunt was doing. All in all the care that I have seen form everyone at the VA hospital has been well above the care I have ever seen at any other hospital and any care that I have received. Now I know that my uncle is very ill but man...this stuff is impressive.

(a bit of a soap box minute). The VA is supposedly the model the US would take on if we were to ever adopt any sort of socialized medicine model. If this is that model sign me up. I would jump in a heart beat.

Ok now the good news part...His condition is improving (finally). We are afraid to relax too much because things have been very up and down up until now but he had a scan that showed that the waiting is finally starting to pay off. He still has a long way to go but we are hoping that this news stays positive from here on out.

2. I am up 6 pounds. I think some of it is water and some of it is driving, not sleeping enough and overall not taking care. I might also be suffering from Chicago bloat from perhaps a drink or two, popcorn overload, and alcohol consumption. I a so grateful I was too full to eat any of the Ben and Jerry's :) Goodness knows how many additional pounds that would have added.

3. I have visions firming up about what I want to do with my life :) ...I am thinking knitting store. Have I already said this? Our new house allows commercial space in the basement. I love to knit...I am scared of the business aspects of it but I already have my creative wheels turning. I am anxious to have the stupid house finally close so I can firm up these ideas and attend to them more seriously. Best of all David likes the idea too.

xxxooo

Uncle Illness Update--and A Fun Picture

2011-10-09T21:41:00.001-07:00

My uncle is still quite ill. He has been sedated a lot this weekend so I drove my aunt to her place (four hours each way) to pick up some more of her things, sort through her mail, and go through some things at the antique store she owns. She sold me this awesome old school telephone and my cousin took my picture with it. Coolio eh?

We went overnight with lots of calls to the hospital to check on my uncle. Cinda also went up to sit with him some while we were gone. He was mostly sleeping but woke up this evening when we stopped in to see him. He is doing better but still has a long way to go. The condition he has might take months of waiting and healing in the hospital. I love having my aunt here but wish it was under better circumstances. Think good thoughts for my uncle.

xxxooo

Chicago Photos...Finally and Backwards from Sunday-Thursday

2011-10-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Lynda and I took a cab out to the University of Chicago campus to see one of Frank Lloyd Wrights designs and all of the other beautiful architecture around campus. We took an MP3 tour first and then had a wonderful guide take us around the Frank Lloyd wright house. Both were excellent tours. We have a much later Wright designed house in Oregon and it was really interesting to see one of his really early ones to compare. Lynda kindly shared this photo with me...She is good don't you think?

Another photo by Lynda. I think this is the chapel bell tower and the one above is a tower on the U of Chicago seminary.

After a stop for lunch we walked over to the Museum of Science and Industry and out to the beach on Lake Michigan. This part of town is really lovely. The lake was very ocean like. There were shells and beach glass to pick up and a lovely calm set of waves to watch. Another picture brought to you by Lynda.
Another of Lyndas photos-This one is a lovely closeup of the beach on Lake Michigan. I picked up that cool piece of beach glass and took it home with me!
I took this photo standing in front of the museum of science and facing north. We skipped the bus for a ride back into town and took a little stroll over to this part of town. It was very residential but nifty to see.
The giant mirrored Jelly bean...Oh yes and I am there in front. Justine took this picture for me.
Jen at the meet and greet on Friday Night. She is the one who made my wonderful header above :)
From Right to Left: Justine, Catherine and I at the meet and greet. I had been drinking a little and cannot remember who took this picture.
More meet and greet photos from Friday night. Again from right to left are Read,Lisa, and Lynda my roomie.
At Frontera on Thursday. I sat next to Read (you can see half of her face here), then next to her was Deb who had the ceviche (and it was delicious cause she shared). Finally that is the wonderful Jen at the end.

Final words: I have tasted most of the items from the swag bag (protein bars, Pirates booty, Jenny Craig goodies, the Mary Kay Make-up, the lovely keychain and the luxurious pashmina). I have not yet had a chance to try out the protein drink packs yet. The protein bars were all very good and I have saved their wrappers to I can get them at home. I will post the names when I do so and even take a picture or two. I plan on ordering the head bands...they look totally awesome!

I am totally bummed I did not get a chance to talk to more people. The only flaw in the entire weekend was that there was just not enough time to talk individually to so many people who I have adored and followed for both a short and long time. I came to the BOOBS weekend with fears that I would not know someone who knew me or worse yet that someone I follow like a stalker would not know who the heck I was. I really don't know if that happened because everyone was SO Friendly! and nice! There were many times when the group thing was just too overwhelming and others that were just perfect.

I LOVED the city tour and Lynda's and my nerds visit the U of Chicago time. I loved shopping with Justine and a little drunken walk with Read. I wish that I could have seen Tessie Rose sing but am glad we at least got to chit chat for a while at the bar(s). I had a great time talking to Deb about Chicago and having a too late at night breakfast with (hmm I know Read was there and Dawnya...and I think um..well I had had a few drinks and I know there were way more of us than three but please forgive me my brain lapse.

Justine: I have not eaten the Fruit and nut yet but the peanut butter cup was hijacked by Grace. I only got 2 squares. She knew better than to put one little finger on my fruit and nut. She says thanks so much for the prezzies. She LOVED the keychain and book. I am still slowly reading the mags...thanks so much for them and the wander around Chicago!

OH..and Damn you Lynda for introducing me to that popcorn. It is gone and most of it went down my throat!! How can something taste so good!!! I had an awesome time on Sunday and cannot wait to go back to Chicago to see more. I will forgive you the popcorn because you were such an awesome roomie and tour guide.

I am sure there is more to say...and I will have to do it later. I will give you all the epiphany updates tomorrow :)

xxxooo

Station Break-Drama

2011-10-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

I am home again but stuff happened while I was in Chicago and I had to inform you of it. I quit my job. Yup..the part timer is now a no timer for the next three months. I got so angry with one of my colleagues that the final straw was drawn and I submitted a letter of resignation. The down side is I believe there will be a little bit of fall out reputation-wise in higher ed because I have already caught wind of smack talking going on. I have a few loyal people who know me and the work that I put forth.

On another note: I am not sure I want to work in higher ed anymore anyway...Update this evening. So just a quick check in my email and I already have three students who want me to tutor them. This fall will be just fine and it will give me some time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up :)

xxxooo

Bullets of Chicago and pictures

2011-10-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

First of all I was living in the moment. This means my picture taking was crud. I met loads of people. I felt overwhelmed by the sheer crowd (I have discovered in my old age I am much more comfortable with people one on one or a few at a time. The big party atmosphere freaked me out sometimes (yes we say freaked out and cool a lot in Oregon).

Thursday: I arrived and we had dinner at Frontera (Rick Bayless a TV Mexican food chef owns it).

Linda is on the far right. Next to her is Jenn and on the left is Gilly

Ok this has taken me ages..watch this space and I will put up more...Tomorrow.

xxxooo

In Chicago-

2011-09-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

I am doing one of those under the covers in the dark typing things. My roomie Lynda is sleeping and as I am on west coast time it is not as late for me as it is for her. Tonight was fun. I met some people :) yup understating it just a tad!!

10 of us had dinner at Frontera. The company was awesome the food..hmm I am a harsh critic but Rick Bayless's customer service will not earn him a culinary star from me). Thankfully I found that I am not allergic to tequila after all. If you remember way back a couple of years when had a run in with a big old glass of cheap margarita..well I had to Tequila mojitos tonight and was just fine (albeit a little tipsy). When I asked for a Mojito with vodka in it the waiter said we could only order drinks off the menu..that is just plain old weird. The waiter said they had no vodka but then on the menu was a vodka filled drink. I am not sure what the delio was but customer service should be great. Now having said that the food was good and the prices were really good too so..he only gets dinged for the drinks :)

After dinner we walked back to the Walgreens and several of the 'BOOBS' bought false eyelashes to wear to the female impersonator show tonight. Lynda and I opted out of the drag show and walked around town and did a little window shopping and a little Chicago architecture spotting. There are some amazing looking buildings here from the mid 20's with lovely carvings and rooftops.

I have taken a few pics but you will have to wait...they are on my phone and I am too sleepy to mess with them.

xxxooo

EEK

2011-09-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

So did I tell you I procrastinate? um...my suitcase is still packed from my San Francisco trip. I have worn some stuff out of it so it is not fit to just zip and put back on the plane. I don't know what to pack? I think I am going for layers and long sleeved tshirts. Shoes? hair dryer? makeup? jewelry? eek...I also will not be work free damn it all. My report will have to be uploaded on September 30th (what day is that anyway? :))...Can I do it from a bar?

I popped in to see my uncle yesterday. He is doing much better but still in ICU. Keep thinking good thoughts for him.

xxxooo

Oh Version 2 is Off My Desk.

2011-09-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

Phew..up until 2am last night and then worked until noon on it. I volunteered to do this stupid thing. Why do I always forget I hate to write them? :)

I have not heard a status update on my uncle but I might just pop up there for a few to check in now that the paperwork is off my desk for a few.

Tonight-a get to see my grandson and hang out in their new dorm for an hour and then attend a math class as a student!! :)

xxxooo

Glad This One is Almost Over

2011-09-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

I sure wish I had Sunday back :)

-My uncle took a turn for the worse. I spent most of today in ICU with my aunt supporting both of them and hoping he gets better. Gallstones can be evil beasts and he is suffering the consequences of a stone gone rogue. With these things there is a lot of wait and see and monitor. We are waiting...seeing..and monitoring but everyone is tired and I am now feeling bad that I am skipping off to Chicago. Think good thoughts that he is really doing better before Thursday.

-I was a sub for a math class tonight. We had a grand time doing geometry. Well I had fun anyway..I think the students did.

-I have round two of the big report..(picture me making raspberry noises here). I have to stay up until I have version two in.

-I need a new bra. I need to find one (Maybe I will find some time in Chicago? cause it ain't happening this week).

-I would like to do the spa thing in Chicago (a facial sounds nice) but I am not sure if I have any empty days left? I know there is a walking tour in there, a meet and greet, a trip to Frank Lloyd wrights museum or something, Coffee...Cofeee...Coffee..Vodka...Vodka....Vodka...I hope I can get a last minute facial tucked in there somewhere.

xxxooo

The Weekend is Over and I AM NOT ASLEEP

2011-09-26T00:46:00.000-07:00

I had some diet coke this evening...I am wired. I need to go to sleep but I am playing on Facebook, then checking my blog, then checking one email after another with three login sequences that I have to go through to log out of and then into each of the different stupid colleges that have decided that Google is their friend. I like Google as my friend but I do not want them as a colleague too. I am going to have to waste some precious work time trying to figure out how to forward my emails from google account numbers one two and three to one account without any of my work people working their way onto my personal google life. I like my social life separate you see...well except for the few smarties who have already figured things out.

xxxooo

Sunday Sunday

2011-09-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

I love weekends.

BOOBS:

Four more days until I go. Wahooo. I had a manicure today in preparation. My toenails were still looking fine. I still have no clue what to pack. I guess I will decide Wednesday night.

MONDAY: I get to sub for a class. I love teaching and miss it this term.

BANDEROO: My band is just fine again. Silly thing. I dropped down to 161 again and promptly was starving hungry. I guess I will carry on floating at this level of tightness. It is hardly worth getting more of a fill to drop below 160 although I had a moment on the scale last night when it read 159. It was quite thrilling but when I got on the scale a second time it said 164 (this was with my clothes on). I got on a third and it still read 164 so I think I had some weird balance thing.

This morning I was at 162 again so my hungries followed be eaties did the trick and my low of 161 went away.

SATURDAY NIGHT OUT: Grace spent the night at a friends and David and I lured my aunt from my uncles beside at the hospital to have dinner with us. We visited him before and after of course. We zipped over to the Pearl District and found a yummy place to eat dinner that was relatively inexpensive (for swanky anyway). David had Megage et gras (three different hours d devours made with foie gras). They were yummy as I tasted each. My aunt and I shared duck fat fried french fries with mayonnaise. David had Pork Belly with spinach while my aunt and I shared a porcini crusted halibut with blueberry compote and greens. It was all very good and I was soo grateful that we were both interested in the same meal and could share. David ordered a cheese plate with figs while my aunt and I shared a peach creme brûlée. The dessert wasn't very good really. They burnt that topping and the peach was a touch strong (tasted like they poured in some peach liquor. Everything else was delicious though.

THE REST OF TODAY: Nichole is finishing her move down to the dorms. We are going to help her finish cleaning out her apartment. Most is going to the charity shop but we will store some and take some down to her new place.

xxxoooo

Happy Band With a Bit of Spell Corrector and Panty Hose Rant

2011-09-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

My band is a happy camper today. I was back down to 162 lbs this morning. I am still sticking to a much smaller Frappachino (just a grande this morning) but I got all three pills down with the thing and then went off to have a lunch meeting with a colleague. I had a southwest salad and even ate lettuce just fine. Yesterday must have totally been all night acid irritation.

Today I am not too tight and not too loose but pretty much just right with a small case of the tights (normal for me really).

THE RANT SECTION-

I have a new macbook laptop. I got it because i needed a light laptop to carry in my purse but something with a bigger screen then the old mini's I had used for the past 4 years. The problem is that this %@@##$ computer fixes my typos. Before If I had a typo (and I have them often) If would just leave it alone and not turn the stupid thing in to some crazy ass word that made no sense with the sentence at hand. Now posting on here, posting on facebook and in my emails I say the stupidest things all because of a typo or two or three :). Before I look like a sloppy typist..now I just look like an illiterate person! sheesh!!!!!. By the way-I have had to correct about 5 words in this paragraph alone that this $@%$ computer has decided should be something totally bizarre and wrong. just so you know I had to come back even after the five typo fixes and do it again because of this $%#%$ laptop function. I have got to figure out how to turn it off. It is driving me batty.

Yesterday I felt the urge to wear some of my new offic-ee clothes into work. I was looking mighty fine in a Calvin dress, a long jacket, hose and my black boots with a pair of double helix earrings. Well fine that is until I ran my damned panty hose. I have complained about this before I know. I love the thigh highs for comfort but what has happened to panty hose? I don't remember having toe runs within the first 10 minutes of wearing before? Has anyone found a good brand? It seems like the things are disposable but not at a disposable price. I bought two pairs last week for 4.50 and 7.50 dollars each...that is not a one wear price tag!! I guess I need to start wearing tights? or are they any better?

RANT OVER

It is a beautiful sunny day. I am sitting at my house and about to start back on draft two of the federal report I am charged with completing. I guess the day will be half nice :)

xxxooo

Fuckity Post Two

2011-09-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

I have the tights-in a big way. You would think that here I am three years in to this band thing. You would think that I should know when the tights are creeping up. You would think that I would know enough that when having the tights (my monthly hell week of tightness) I would know better than trying to eat my dinner at 7pm instead of when I should at 6pm.

Well I didn't or chose not to listen to the common sense in my head and had a small serving of quinoa with fresh vegetables and start cheddar cheese. It was delicious. I chased this small meal with a small serving of Ice cream. I chose wrong. At midnight when I went to bed I seemed to be oK-sure I had a little bit of something still in my stomach but I was burping it down. At 5am I woke up coughing. I left the bedroom (because I did not want to wake up David with my hacking). I ended up being stuck and hurling in the garbage disposal.

I went back to bed and was fine for the extra hour I had left to sleep. I woke up tight though. Scary tight. I was scared today because I could feel the tightness all day. I had a tall mocha frappachino instead of my old Vente. I managed to get 2 of my three pills in the morning this way. When I arrived on campus I stopped off and bought a bottle of water and a protein bar. I worked on the water for the next couple of hours (and I also found out my kidneys are working very well..sheesh I spend all day on the toilet). I had my protein bar at around 11:30 and had a little pb. I had a very small taco at 2pm eaten very slowly. It stayed down. I got to the hospital to visit my uncle (who is doing much better by the way). I had another tall frap. I drank it too fast and almost hurled it (i took a walk and managed to get it down). I then had a bit of my aunts garbanzo bean stew and some cottage cheese. All seems to be well. I visited with my aunt and uncle for a couple of hours and went for a walk outside. We stopped off on our way back to the room and bought a bottle of water. Dinner seemed to be going through so I drank about a cup of water sipping slowly. It all seemed good. About the time my aunt gave me a lift down to town and the max train back home my tummy started complaining.

Once near the university she stopped at a light and I hopped out of her car and ran for the trolley that connects to the max down town. The $%#$@#$ driver saw me as I was running up and shut the doors in my face. He still sat for a while and then slowly took off with me standing on the sidewalk. I decided to walk the 9 or so blocks in the dark. My tummy felt worse and worse. I attempted a few stops at bathrooms but all of the restaurants either said no public toilet or were closed. Finally I ducked back behind a bush and had to pb some of the water. On my walk I spewed 4 more times spitting out spit and water each time. I finally made it to the downtown streets and ducked into my beloved Starbucks...I picked the only one in town with no freaking bathroom. The girl behind the counter told me to go down two blocks for one with an actual bathroom. I took off...spewed again on the way (with a lot of people nearby..eek). I popped into this Starbucks hit the bathroom and up came all of th food I had eaten for dinner (get a mental picture here of me shaking my head in disbelief). In the end the trolley car driver did me a favor..can you imagine hurling on a freaking trolley?

I really tried to be kind to my band today. I obviously failed miserably. I will give it tonight and drink a lot. I might call tomorrow for an until appointment. sigh...

xxxooo

I'm Baaack...and Finished-ish

2011-09-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

I finished the first draft and am taking some well-deserved blogging break. I think I know why I procrastinate..it is an addiction. You get a little high when you actually manage to pull something off in all that chaos...it is not a healthy way to live just like my food addiction was not healthy either. sheesh...I think I need a shrink...or a new addiction?

xxxooo

Crazy Week

2011-09-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

If you haven't figured it out yet I am a procrastinator. This week I am full on in writing mode for a big report that I have due on September 30th. I have known about it for months. Needless to say I cannot wait to turn it in until then because I will be in Chicago. I also have to have others edit the report and I start a math class on Tuesday. This needs finishing up ASAP.

But that is not all...because things are complicated. My uncle is in the hospital and I am trying to support my aunt in all the ways I can. Plus I want to...much more than I want to write the stupid report. My daughter is in a week of training however my grandsons's preschool is not open yet. All of my other daughters are both working and at school so guess who is babysitting? Add to all of that David is off on some hardcore worky thing (I do not know what exactly). I can tell because he goes al incommunicative and stops coming home in the evenings. Normally he rolls in at 5:30 or so. This week I have had to call to find out where he is..and he rolls in after those phone calls at 6:30 to 7pm.

Our meal cooking has gone down the tubes because David does that.

Now mix in to the chaos a pinch of tightness and PMS and it is just a lovely place to be right now :)

Oh and did I tell you I had two filling at the dentist this morning...the fun just keeps on coming :)

I will stay cheerful I will stay cheerful I will stay cheerful :)

Working Saturday

2011-09-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

I worked it was fine but I still did not concentrate on what I was supposed to get done in the paperwork department. I feel as scatter brained as when I first had my children.

My uncle was moved to a hospital in Portland. He had a gallstone run amuck and it has caused problems with his other organs. He had dialysis today and seems to be making great improvement. I am trying to support my aunt and cousin. I spent this afternoon and evening up at the hospital.

My weight was up one pound this morning so some of the post traveling water has come off. More might..I am starving hungry today!! must be the ramp up to the tights to come! I am thinking I will have them during BOOBs...darn it all!

It is cold. I had to switch from my summer frappachino to a winter peppermint mocha today :(....I want my summer back.

I got to see my daughter's dorm room. She and my grandson will sleep in bunk beds and we are going to make his bottom bunk into a fort...I think he will like it. I was pleasantly surprised by the dorm room (not early as scary as I was worried about). I think he will be the only child in the building though.

xxxooo

Home Again

2011-09-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

Our week of childless fun is over.

We are home (and back to a comfortable bet). The one at the hotel was rock hard.

I had a great time and we did one of those bonding marriage kinds of things. Nice really-

I think I actually gained weight a little but I cannot be sure until the next few days when the water comes off and I do my morning nakey routine on the scale.

I have to work tomorrow :( I will launch out of my front door at 7:30 am while David and Grace get to lie in. sigh :)

Sunday we will help my oldest daughter and grandson start to move into the dorms. She was accepted into the PH.D. program as an assistant. My grandson is going to live in a dorm at the age of 3...I am not sure if this is a good thing a great thing or scary :)

I start a math class in two weeks. I need to get some work done for my job so I can concentrate on school in a balanced way. Goodness knows if this class will solve my ongoing mid-life career crisis but I will keep you posted when/if I figure it out.

xxxooo

You Never Stop Learning

2011-09-15T00:28:00.000-07:00

I figured some stuff out today-

I figure stuff out about my body and my head and this band when I really pay attention and slow my life down.

I really like this life I lead that allows me the occasional week to unwind and focus.

In the morning my stomach is flatter and during the day I swell up. My stomach pooches and my skin lumps become more noticeable. After I eat a semi big meal I get what my daughters and I call a 'food baby'. My stomach pooches up in a lump. Not so good when I am wearing body forming clothing. So the dilemma is do I only buy evening dresses after a meal to make sure I don't get so lumpy in the evenings that it looks bad orrrr Maybe rethink a tummy tuck? ;) Do you think that can be done before I go to Chicago?

I have been having some really painful deep shoulder pain. I finally figured out tonight that it is totally related to overeating. Big meal=shoulder pain. Crazzzzyyy. I was blaming my bike crash in December. Sleeping funny, lifting stuff...You name it and I blamed it. Now it is stinking too much food. duhhhh. I do not think that in all of the blogs and discussion forums I have read that no one has ever said that shoulder pain came up as a message that anyone had eaten enough. I obviously need to stop before the pain sets in-however it hits before any PB level. Hmmm...

On another note:

I did yarn shopping today. I left at my leisure. Had Coffee, Met David for lunch at the mall (really good food in SF at the mall). Went to a nifty yarn store in the Union Square area, Britex Fabric store and another yarn shop out in the Castro District.

David was done by this time and I changed my clothes (tonight I wore the suit slacks, a white shirt I got in June and my new Desagal jacket. We went to a small boutique hotel restaurant that served semi Italian/American food. It was really reasonably prices and VERY good. It was so good we of course over-ate (all of us) and thus I learned some new things about my band. DAvid and I were both somewhat uncomfortable after dinner and took a long walk Down Market and along the waterfront. After we had digested a bit we caught the tram back near our hotel. All in all this has been a great leisure (for me) and learning week.

One of the dresses I bought (Not Calvin) and my UK Shoes. The heel height is perfect but I do have some blisters. How does everyone take pictures of themselves in mirrors? Most of mine did not turn out at all. These were two acceptable ones but most made me look quite chunky and many were blurry.
xxxooo

Silly Me

2011-09-13T16:08:00.000-07:00

Silly Me I wasn't tight this week I was freaking sick! who would had thought?? :) The tummy troubles moved onto the lower or downstream end of the pipes. I obviously have a bit of food poisoning. As I type I can feel whatever food and liquid stuff I have kept down rolling quickly through my intestines. It is funny eh? when I was a teenager I used to wish that I could skip a period because they were a pain. Then I reached child-bearing age and I always wished for one because that meant my birth control was doing its job. Now here I have a band and I am relieved that I have a tummy bug...kind of silly really.

Despite my tummy bug I have been out and about San Francisco and shopping away. Shopping at this size is so much fun! I know that I have now been this size for more than a few months but I am telling you it never gets old. I can physically feel in my bones all of the years where all of the shops along side me were not for me. I had to find the rare large size stores and focus my attention on shoe shopping. Well now..I can go into any shop and have been going into all of them! Before your start to worry that I have developed a shopping addiction to replace my food one (Well maybe a little :)). Regardless at each store there is a little part of me that pauses as I go in the door...that old memory is that strong.

I bought a fancy and expensive jacket at Desegal after Davids urging because he likes it too and I have had my eye on it since February. Then I went to Ross (a discount store) and communed with my new favorite man-Calvin. I purchased two of his dresses and a suit. The man has a tailored taste that I absolutely love. His clothes fit beautifully. The only down side is that in some cases his lack of size vanity means that I wear a 10 or 12 instead of the fake 8 that some stores allow me to wear. Best of all the dresses were under 30 dollars each and the suit was 50.

I also picked up some tummy controlling underwear a skirt, some yoga pants and a floating pretty purple dress that is likely to make its appearance at BOOBS unless of course I change my mind or find another dress between now and then.

Speaking of dresses. When I was big I could not wear them..I looked horrible i them. With big boobs and all of my weight in my midsection meant that any dress I wore just made me look bigger. Now..there is some shape under those drastically shrunken boobs. I can wear tailored dresses that hug my curves and with a little tummy holding (hopefully with a little extra help from my spanx) The skin I still carry around is hardly noticeable.

Tummy troubles be damned..shopping makes everything better :)

Even Too Tight for ME

2011-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ok I like to wear my band on the tight side. I like it to help me keep my eating under control and keep me from creeping into the goodies. Well today and over the past few days the darn thing has been even too tight for my comfort. It is not that I am not keeping all my food down but more often than not it is my main and most nutritious meal of the day that seems to be coming back up or causing extreme discomfort going through the old pipes.

The weird thing is that my pills went down quite nicely today..the first one I didn't even feel..but tonight I felt tight so I was careful and ordered french onion soup for dinner. I had a bit of cheese out of it and some of the broth but left the mushy bread (it wasn't very good anyway) alone in the bowl. In all I managed three bites and I got the "is your soup all right" from the waiters and waitresses. I had a bite of Davids Fois Gras (not good either at the place we were at). So this is all coming to a head on the first night alone in San Francisco. After dinner I walked a bit an then shopped a bit (found a lovely coat at Desigal) and then we came back to the hotel. We sat in the bar. I ordered and did not drink a sangria (the food from dinner was just not clearing). I tried a couple of drinks and then carried my glass back to the room. Upon arrival I had to grab my trusty zip lock bag and immediately filled it with the drink and all of dinner. Even the stuff that had gone through my stoma. On a good note my stomach (the one on the bottom) can still hold plenty of food :) Thankfully that bag was gallon sized (haha).

I will see how I am in the morning but right now I am thinking I will need to track down someone to pull some fluid out of my band. Does anyone know a good doctor in the San Francisco area?

If things are this tight tomorrow I guess I can always call my surgeon and ask for a recommendation. I know he comes down here a lot for conferences.

On a good note-the dinner we chose was not good enough to feel any great loss of not being able to eat it.

I will see what tomorrow holds...and let you know.

xxxooo

Sundays

2011-09-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

I love Sundays these days. I slept in until 10 (oh yeah....). David and Grace woke up before me and did their eating thing while I slept and then finished a book about the brain and addiction (very enlightening). I got up and we went to Starbucks for my breakfast and then off to the Sunday farmers market. After a swing around the market we walked around our new house (down the alley and then past the front). I found a lovely place in the back to grow my tomatoes next year and I decided that the front, even though it is north facing will work fine for peas and herbs.

When we arrived home Nichole dropped by with my grandson Grant. While Grant took a nap in Graces bed we cleaned our room (I had a bunch of laundry to fold and my closet to organize plus books and other clothes that needed sorting. In my search I ran across my fat pants again and tried them on :)

We are now off to the science museum to look at a games exhibit that Grace is interested in seeing.

Tomorrow David and I are leaving for San Francisco for a week child free!! :) My plan is to find a nice 40's or 50's style dress to wear with my UK shoe purchase, do some uninterrupted writing in my hotel room and eat in fancy restaurants with David. Maybe we will fit some romance in there as well :)

xxxooo

Hangin With Some Mathy's

2011-09-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight I worked all day. I got on the train at 7:05 am and then drove after a meeting and a bunch of day long paper shuffling-with a colleague-to the opening dinner for our state math teacher-teachers' association meeting (actually titled teachers of teachers of math). I was hoping to see some people I knew from around the state. There was no one I knew. It was interesting to see how different mathies are from science-ies. My current job is with the science-ies so I have been out of the math people loop for a while. They are different. Different speech patterns, different ways of communicating and this group at least is much more relaxed than the science people I know (my random group might not be typical)...A little stats joke thrown in there.

Anyway. I don't know if I fit in with either group. I am a nerd..but is it a mathy nerd? or a science-y one now? or perhaps I don't fit in either group anymore...argh :)

In either case I did meet some new people and they were very nice and it made me miss working at the community college again. I got home at 9pm.

OH...the pill thing:

I slept better last night. I took my pills this morning and I am definitely seepy tonight. I have to wait a bit because dinner is lumped in my tummy still..but...I think...I might...sleeeeeppp.

On a side note..do any of you feel weirded out by people looking you in the eye and saying hello? like people I mean men...It never used to happen. People never used to look at me and if they did they looked away. It happened twice today. I find it discombobulating.

I have to be on the road at 6:30am tomorrow morning to carpool with a colleague into the conference. Wish me good sleeps please...

xxxooo

I want to Sleep....but the back to school thing is kinda good.

2011-09-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

I am having one heck of a time sleeping again. I am trying to still work out if it is a caffeine issue, my Prozac or what. I fell asleep last night quite nicely but then woke David up with my twitching. Apparently my feet and shoulders were jerking about. I then could not go back asleep trying to work out why I am twitching so much.

I had this problem once before-it was after having Meghan. I had a c-section and they put Morphine in my epidural. I ended up allergic to the Morphine and broke out in hives. I was then given benadryl to counter the hives and discover I was allergic to benadryl..it makes me twitch and robs me of sleep. I did not realize this was the problem at the time. I just thought it was post birth hormonal weirdness but then 6 years later my lovely daughters gave me chicken pox and I medicated with the benadryl again...and again I had twitching and sleep issues.

So...I am beginning to wonder if I have not developed some allergy to my meds or coffee? Of course I should go to the doctor but I am not sure she will be any more help in figuring the thing out. Maybe it is time for a little web search eh?

On another note-even though I am not sleeping I kind of like this getting up and getting to work routine. It is now 3 and I have gotten a lot accomplished. Yesterday was at work and I was back home for the school bus. Today I went to a meeting in Salem and then came home and had a rapid house clean whirling through the kitchen, mopping, doing some laundry and then picking up and vacuuming in the living room. Before bed tonight I am hoping to get some paperwork done (in this organized clean area of the house) and make some progress on my messy room.

Foodwise I am in a funk...coffee and cheese and orange juice have become my mainstays and I am frankly getting sick of them. Today for lunch I had a bowl of blueberries and a bit of cream. I have also had a handful of cashews. (Don't worry I had my coffee for breakfast). I am going to attempt to skip the afternoon coffee today and eat a really good dinner (chicken and vegetables) to see if that doesn't help with the twitchy twitchy.

UPDATE: no sooner had I hit publish and I got the answer to my sleeplessness issues from my lovely training to a be a nurse daughter. She is studying mental health this term and is knee deep in the identification and side effects of drugs. I told her about my issue and she asked me (get a mental picture of me physically puffing up with motherly pride here)...she asked me-what time of the day are you taking your meds? My response-dinner. Well duh mom your prozac or commonly known as fluexetine pills are made to hamper selective serotonin re-uptake. One of the main side effects is insomnia. You need to take those pills in the morning mom. I then discussed with her how I am tight in the morning and she said tough..you will have to take them. When I was in the surgeons office for my yearly check in he suggested I open the capsule. I still don't know if that is OK or not but I guess it is time to do some investigating. My little nurse daughter said I would have to go to a higher power to get the answer to that one (more pride in that she knows her limits).

xxxooo

Here We Go....

2011-09-05T21:56:00.001-07:00

Grace is in bed and it is the eve before the first day of school. I am sitting and messing about on my computer but need to cut up a cant elope and mango to prep for her lunches this week.

We accomplished a lot today. Went through a few boxes in the garage and filled both our garbage can and recycling plus took a load to Goodwill. We have a very large storage unit that will have to be emptied in the upcoming month because the house we bought will just not hold it all. We were brutal today but I am not sure if we will manage to cut everything by 50% as is our plan. I have a feeling this is going to hurt a lot :)

After we did some sorting and cleaning in the garage we went to drop off a few things at storage and Goodwill. We stopped for an afternoon coffee and then ran Grace to get a quick haircut and pick up some last minute school supplies. We then returned home and all three of us cleaned her room. I do not know if it is just plain old bad parenting on my part or if she has some genetic messy gene but it is TORTURE getting that child to clean up after herself. We filled two laundry baskets with presumably dirty clothing (I highly doubt these were dirty but she didn't want to fold them so tossed them into the basket). I filled two bags of garbage. We cleaned under her bed and vacuumed up a bucket load of tiny little beads. We boxed up a load of books to donate to her new school and another stack to mail to her cousin.

While Grace and I packed up her backpack for tomorrow David created potential lunch menus for Grace and dinners for all of us next week. We then walked to the grocery store and did a shop plus ate dinner. We walked home with our groceries to drop them off and then took off on a mile or so walk. Grace rode her scooter while we did a walk around the neighborhood and through the building site that I took pictures of the other night.

We set the air conditioner up in Graces room to help her sleep an sent her off to bed. She has already been up three times with questions and excuses to get out of bed. I remember that sense of anticipation and fear mingled with excitement :) I hope she manages to get some sleep so she isn't grouchy tomorrow.

On the topic of weightloss-I got back down to 162 today (Phew)...I would like to hit 161 or even 160. I really like how my waist feels at this lower end (not nearly as much muffin top-is it muffin top or skin top? or even mushroom top?)

Happy end of Summer to you all :) I hope we keep the sunshine even though school is on.

xxxooo

BYOC

2011-09-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy….5 little questions we ask to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!1.

1. please describe the contents of your purse.

I just bought a new purse to hold my new laptop (I got a bigger one so I could see the screen with my poor old eyes. The laptop was out being used to type this so it is not in the pile. I carry this purse to work everyday so it is full of worky stuff.

1.Thinking in systems book. I read it on the train and before I go to sleep. You missed Kitchen confidential. I finished reading it Wednesday night.
2. binder clips.
3. red memo book. So I can write down all of the things I will forget.
4. Fancy mechanical pencil (a mathematicians best friend)
5. yellow headphone set to listen to music on my phone (Pandora is the best)
6. plug for my computer
7. sunglasses in case
8. Keys and lanyard with my usb memory stick attached
9. frequent knitter punch card.
10. yellow note with all of the data I have to organize and get into work off my old computer.
11. File containing a list of missing data (yes more)
12. loose change
13. receipts that I stuffed in my purse on the fly
14. my eye prescription that I have forgotten to take out of my purse.

2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing if you have a relationship with this person or if the person even exists and you try to describe the person in 5 words or short sentences.

• Your kindergarten teacher

Mrs. Loucks
Old.
We did not learn to read (and I like that)
There was a play house corner
She had the coolest shoes that laced up but had heels (kind of those shoes that are popular now and I just bought a similar pair)
We sang this old man he played one...an it was probably the most fun I can remember having that year.

3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure / trashy TV show you like to watch?

Well i don't consider TV a guilty pleasure so it would have to be Starbucks frappachinos now or chocolate. As far as TV is concerned I like British murder mystery programs (Midsommer murders, etc.)

4. A lot of you told me about your first day of school experiences when I posted about how my 5 year old going to kindergarten wasn’t causing me too much heartache. So now I’m officially asking – tell me about one of your first day of school experiences that sticks out in your mind the most. Who put you on the bus? Did you ride the bus? Did your parents take pics? Did they walk you into school? Drive you there? Cook you breakfast?

I do not know if this was the first day of school but it was during the first few days. I got up early and watched the moon landing before school started. I rode the bus. I do not remember my mom cooking breakfast so I probably had a bowl of cereal. Our bus stop was at the top of the street and my two neighbors (Lynn Wilson up from me and Laurie down from me was at the bus stop)

After lunch recess on the first day of school Lynn Wilson stole my chair next to Laurie and pushed me onto the floor. When I got mad at her and told her to give me my chair back Mrs. Loucks got mad at me. Spanked me and said that the three of us would never be placed in the same classroom again. We never were and that was probably a good thing. I was outraged at the time though.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

I am swamped with work and planning various trips to various places-San Francisco in two weeks, Chicago in 4 and then New York in October. I had to buy all the tickets and make hotel reservations. I also am supposed to be working (yes I really am when I am not eating and taking pictures of my shoes). I am late paying my Chicago payments but am getting the money off today. I sent the Boobs money this morning and will figure out the walking and other money this afternoon. I vaguely thought it was all due September 1 but I was wrong and it was all due last week (a common problem for me as can be seen in the pile of undone to do lists in my purse).

eek!!!

xxxooo

Sunny Day Sweeping the Clouds Away

2011-09-01T21:39:00.001-07:00

Friendly neighbors there thats where we meet..can you tell me how to get how to get to sesame street? :)

I worked today. It was fine. I was in a pleasant mood. The scale put me at 164 exactly (up a smudge of a pound from yesterday). My tummy is behaving itself (I can eat just enough). I cut back to two prozac a day (funny how you recognize a case of PMS after it is over eh?).

Today I have pictures of my neighborhood. This is what I get at the end of the max train ride home. Tomorrow I will snap a pic. of the max for you.

For your viewing pleasure:

The place I stop for breakfast each morning on my way to the train. and the cornerstone to this lovely new neighborhood I live in :) They seriously should pay me to advertise for them.

Brownstone houses on my walk to the grocery store to meet David and Grace. Ours will be up the road and around the corner.

David and Grace in the cheese aisle..Yum There were garlic cheese curds in that basket. I will treat them carefully from now on.

Our current rental house. It has its good points and bad. Great location but carpet that is driving me crazy and a very small kitchen.

Our soon to be new house. It looks just like those on Sesame street don't you think? It has a bigger kitchen and hardwood floors in the living spaces!! Just a tiny raised bed in the front and a flat roof I might be able to put a raised bed on. Even a place for a garbage can with Oscar the Grouch or a nest for Big Bird. Of course the neighbors would never allow it but it is fun to think about anyway.

Just outside our neighborhood is both a little bit of country (see the moon and grass). and a little bit of big construction. Intel is building a new fab. We went for a walk after dinner and David snapped this pictures.

Food Porn, Shoe Porn, and Portland Porn (no really just some buildings)

2011-08-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

1. I am at work and it is even pleasant today despite office mix ups and irritations (I just don't care).

2. I had nachos from our local Mexican food wagon. In most of the rest of the US these places are dangerous. In Portland they are an art form. This box of nachos was especially delicious as I have been super tight for the past two days and I managed to eat some of it with no ill effects. My tummy is happy, my eyes are happy and my only problem is I need some pinch eaters to finish the thing off.

.

3. My new shoes came in the post yesterday. I bought 4 pairs of lovely sandals. I have a thing for sandals with a toe ring. I found three pairs online and then got a pair of flip flops I thought were pretty on top.I bought both the brown and black plus another brand that is similar in style. Best of all they all fit beautifully.

Yup..I am taking these pictures at work and that is my messy desk. Now back to sorting through that stack of papers you can see.

On Monday when I had my hectic day I took a bunch of pictures of the things I see on my walk to and from my office to the max train home. The commute is the best part of my day I think.

Happy Wednesday...with a revived attitude and honest gov...no wine involved.
xxxooo

The BOOBS Questions and Answers

2011-08-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

1. How did you pick your blog name?

I copied my original from Bunny...Tinas weightloss journey. At the time this seemed perfectly logical but after a while It seemed boring and so I changed it to losing it...it seemed to fit my lifestyle changes and crazy life. The weightloss, kids leaving home, and my marbles.

2. When did you start blogging? I will have to check. I know it was about a year before I was banded so that would be 4 long years ago. Ok I checked-June 2007.

3. Theme of blog:

The blog has gone through phases. I have thrown this out for all to view but really it contains whatever stuff I am working through at the time. In the beginning it was about the hoops I had to go through to get the band. After I got it it was the trials tribulations and successes post band. I talk about my hurdles, mental breakdowns, vacations..oh you know whatever junk is going on at my house.

4. Did you go to BOOBs 2010? Nope I had to teach my math classes instead. In preparation this year so I could go I took fall term off...just so I could come!

5. When were you banded?

August 2008

6. How much have you lost? roughly 140 pounds but that goes back and forth from 136 to 143. Today it is a whopping 141 lbs lost.

7. What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?
Hanging with the people I have met and those I have not met but have read on the blogs for years now. I am also looking forward to hanging in bars with the girls instead of cleaning house, organizing meals and going to work!! you know..a four day weekend with no responsibilities except dressing myself and deciding what to order off the menu. It all sounds heavenly to me. Oh and some British goodies from Justine!! :)

8. What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?

Didn't I already answer that one above? shopping and seeing chicago when it isn't snowing would be nice as well.

9. Children? Pets? I have four daughters three who have left home and one who is still at home. I have a husband and I sold my cat with our house (it is a long story that is on the blog I think..or you can ask me about it).

10. Who is your roomie? Lynda from This time next year.

11. What day do you arrive? I arrive on Thursday.

12. What airport/flight/time?

ORD at 2pm. If anyone else will be there around then I would love to share a limo :)

13. What events are you signed up for?

What? we have to sign up for things?? so far I have signed up to do the walking tour, and Frank Lloyd wright on Saturday. I think I put in for my all you cannot eat dinner too. Do we have to formally declare the other stuff? I guess I need to plan...Does anyone want to be my planner?
14. Hobbies?
I knit, I read (now that I have reading glasses I get to do so without a headache), I travel, I spin wool into yarn, I eat fancy food (my husband has infected me), I drink vodka and peppermint schnapps.

15. Career?

math teacher and math teacher-teacher plus I do math ed research. I am thinking of chucking it all in and opening a yarn shop though :)

16. Single? Married? In a relationship? Married

17. Your birthday month? Valentines day.

18. What do you want other BOOBs to know about you? Well I don't know..I pretty much lay it all on the line on this blog. There are a few secret bits but if you ask I will tell you in Chicago. I have no shame and loose lips. With a drink or two they get even looser.

Addition: Justine reminded me...I will be breakfasting every morning at the nearest starbucks and having an afternoon snack there..soooooo if anyone is interested :)

Stuck on CHEESE???

2011-08-29T14:04:00.001-07:00

This morning has been quite a trial..and I cannot even blame work (that is totally mellow except for me).

1. 3:00 am I finally fell asleep (insomnia returned-who the hell knows why)
2. 8:15 am phone call from the dentist. Did you know you had an appointment at 8 am? I responded with crap crap crap...she asked when I could get there. I answered 15 minutes. David offered to drive me because my car is in the shop. His #$%#$ truck wouldn't start so I trucked it to the train and arrived 30 minutes late but made it for the cleaning.
3. I had a tooth cleaning (ouch)
4. I had my coffee after the appointment and walked back to the train to go home because it was freaking cold and raining and I was wearing a skirt and short sleeved tshirt.
5. After arriving home I decided that some garlic cheese curds were a good idea...Hmm not so much.

6. Nichole offered to drive me downtown to work (very nice thing). I started barfing on the way down. twice before noon. twice when I hit the building. four times into a zip lock bag in my office (thank goodness I have an office and my office mate is MIA....my tummy hurts so I'm not done yet.

7. I have only had trouble with cheese once...it was right after I got the band and forgot to chew it. This is definitely a stuck thing.

so there you go girls...this band sneaks up and bites you in the butt when you get complacent so dont!!!

Update: after several more attempts to unstick the goodness knows what part of cheese curd I ran to the bathroom (cause I had to pee) and managed to unstickify it. I was seriously thinking about going in to the surgeons office for some help...and envisioning scary slips and stuff. I am on the straight and arrow with liquids tonight!!

xxxooo

Another Lovely Weekend Comes to a Close

2011-08-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed my weekend. Friday night Grace had a sleep over with her four good friends. I had wine and walked. Saturday David and I laid in until 8:30 and then we snuck out while the night owl girls slept later and had a relaxing cup of coffee and Starbucks (for me) and eggs and bacon for the low carb guy at our local grocery/deli. After that I took David in for a surprise pedicure..he played the big manly man but I think he enjoyed it. He didn't run screaming anyway and his feet look so much more attractive. He even wore his shorts and sandals all weekend. We then walked over and David had a haircut (it was fix your man weekend I guess).

We arrived home at 11ish and the girls had just finished their breakfast of English muffins and Nutella. We took them to a couple of stores and then out to frozen yogurts. We took one home and then Grace tagged along with other two (two sisters) spending an afternoon with them. That left David and I free (whoooopppeeeee).

Just as we were about to go downtown and check out a spinning and yarn store I just heard about we got a call from Nichole. She had a horrible migraine and was not doing too well. We stopped off and picked up grant who went with us for a quick happy hour dinner at an iranian place and shopping at the spinning store. He was cheerful and well-behaved (it is much better to take a grandson along shopping than your own child :))...)

We came home picked up and ferried Grace back to another friends house and forced my friend and this girl's mom to come out with us to the local street of dreams show. She brought her baby while we brought my grandson. Both little guys were very well behaved while we looked at the houses. I don't think any of us were ready to splash out the more than $800,000.00 price tags on those houses but it was interesting to look at cabinetry and room layouts plus the furniture choices they made. The biggest thing I saw that I would like to see if I can add into our new house is they put wooden frames around many of the TV's...it made them look much more like art and less like boob tubes :)

Today Grace had another friend over and I slept in (reading mostly) until 11am. I got up and we went to Starbucks and then off to the Sunday market near our house. We then went to Costco for a few school supplies. When we got home Grant took a nap in Graces bed while David and I ran my poor car into the shop for its fix up this week. After we got home we went for an afternoon swim and then came home and took a lengthy walk around the neighborhood.

Tomorrow we are both dreading work...but I am looking forward to the morning house escape and coffee plus transit ride.

To leave using Caroline's technique...I have three pictures from this weekend. One from our walk tonight of the cranes behind our neighborhood.
They are building a new fab that will make chips with David's invention in them (it is all top secret of course and not actually his property because the company owns his brain). and then a funny thing he found this weekend at the local Indian grocery store...teehee. The third is a particularly nice bench we saw at the home show.

Walking With Wine

2011-08-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

Ahhh glorious Friday finally arrived. I did a bunch of running around that included Grace getting her cast off and some groceries. I did a bunch of work from home and then Grace had three friends (who are all friends with each other) over. They are getting along famously and as I said to the mother of one of them..if all sleep overs were this easy I would have one every weekend.

We cooked burgers, stirfried cabbage and peas with roasted rosemary potatoes on the bar-b. They ate up. We went swimming (Grace could because her cast was off (Horraaaayyyy-I swear it was almost more torture for me than her). and they have settled down to watch secretariat (as all good 10-13 year old girls should love. You know the horse and all that.

While they were watching David and I and my glass of reisling took a walk around the block...well a few blocks actually but only a half a glass worth in time spent. It is very warm here and as I showered after the pool you might notice my failure to wear proper boob-lifting undergarments. yup...thats what happens to the girls when you lose 140 pounds. I deluded myself into thinking I just looked flat chested. David tried to warn me that was not the case...but silly me I was so excited to share my walking with wine adventure with you that I had him take a picture...duh...well I have no shame so am uploading the picture anyway. If the state of the girls bother you too much just remember it costs about 10 k to lift them up. So far I would rather contemplate the body lift and better yet...travel on those funds.

Happy WEEKEND everyone!!!

xxxooo

Wow..Is It Wine Or Prozac

2011-08-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

I arrived home in a foul mood. My afternoon was pure hell. Just to recap my moaning angst.

1. I got cut off from the online system at the university in July. At the time they said it was because my contract had expired. I alerted my boss because I was cut off and had not been paid since April. I was on vacation so not having access to the library was a bit difficult but still sub-optimal. Now that work is back on I called the online people on Monday to get my online account reinstated. Their story changed this week and the reason I was told mine didn't work was because I had ham stringed the technology by selecting a user name that matched a graduate form three years ago. After a phone tree handoff for three people I was told I was on my own and would need to re-register online. I tried today and it would not work. I called tech support (number 1 from Monday) and they reiterated the old student problem and then left me on hold for 10 minutes while they tried to figure out the problem. They then told me a work ticket would have to be put in and I would get an email when the problem was fixed. so end of August and I have been paid for some of my summer work but no spring work and still do not have online access even though I need to enter student grades by the end of the week.

2. I went to buy a transit pass on Monday and was told that i needed UV status in order to get the cheaper faculty price and get automatic pre-tax or post tax monthly salary billing for the pass. I called my support person who said 'there is a form for that" and she wrote a promised employment letter and I picked it up at our main office (mine is across campus from this office). I took this letter in today and was told that although I got the reduced rate my status was not one of the 9 (no one said this on Monday) that might provide a monthly pay option. When I asked which of the 9 was the right 9 n one could tell me. My departmental support person didn't know either and has promised to call HR tomorrow and find out. I paid a year ahead and got really annoyed (when I get annoyed I tear up which SUCKS!!)

3. As I finished up the transit purchase I discovered they wanted to put the transit sticker on my employee ID card. I was getting one next and told the guy behind the counter (after I got testy and got teary...he say the would remember me and to come back with my new card). II went over to the admin building and got a new ID card but after they put in my new details (like I was employed and actually faculty/staff they handed me an expired ID card. When I said something the guy behind the counter said that I would now need to go to HR to get a date sticker (I kind of lost it and explained as calmly as I could that I had just spent the afternoon walking from office to office with little success). the manager in the office suddenly said they had a sticker in the drawer and that they would put it on my card for me (sheesh!!!)

4. I turned in a late registration document for one of my students from two weeks ago. My student thought she had registered online but I could not check because I have no flipping access to the university system. by the time I had someone look it up for me (a week later) I found out she had not registered after all. I sent her a copy of the forms with the correct information so she could sign and date the form and fax it back to me. I took the form in only to be told that since it was a week after the class I would need to petition hr admission to the class. I called her today and proceeded to get the forms filled out and get yet another signature. I was just about the haul the paperwork back off to the registrars office when a colleague told me that all I needed to do was sign the override box and they would take the original late registration form I took in on MONDAY!! I took it over and they took it without comment.....!!!!!

sooo after a day that felt much like I imagine life was like during the soviet union and people had to stand in lines all day for a loaf of bread I came home in a very foul mood.

I decided that if any day required a 4th prozac it was today. I took it and my iron tablet out to dinner with David. We stopped off at our new two house for a look around (it looks nice). We then skipped the grill as was our goal and went to the local wine bar and had two glasses of pinot grigio, crackers and cheese. I don't know whether it was the two glasses of wine or the 4th prozac but I am suddenly feeling MUCH BETTER!! For those of you that can remember...there was a beer commercial where two brothers sat on a dock on a lake and one said to the other.."I love you man" to the other and then the screen panned back to Miller Light. well I hugged Meghan...and told her I loved her. I gave Grace a high five and she wacked me with her cast and I told her I loved her. and then I hugged them both while we walked back to the townhouse to show meghan the place..Oh did I tell you they came along after a while and I bought Meghan a glass of wine too.

I LOVE YOU ALL :) hic.........Remind me of this moment when I am back at stupid work tomorrow :)

Insomnia

2011-08-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

I have been having a heck of a time sleeping. It is now 1:30 am and I am still wide awake. I don't know if it is delayed jet lag, caffeine or some other unexplainable problem. I sometimes had this when my older kids were younger but I have slept so well since the weightless that this is throwing me for a loop.

My ankles are huge again and I am just not sleeping. I was awake three nights last week and finally took 1/2 and Ambian we had left from when David travelled a lot. I took the other half last night and got a little sleep. The pills are gone and from experience I found that you can only take them one night or they just don't work anymore.

David went to the doctor today for a check up and I went with him (I so did not want to face work). I did a bit of email in the lobby while he was poked and prodded and congratulated for his improving health. Strangely he has low iron too but apparently it is different in his case because his blood cells are still plump and mine are scrawny (those are his words via the doctor...so...don't ask me what they mean). His blood pressure is high and his cholesterol ratio is lovely. He has asked for a more detailed blood test (he has been doing some obsessive research that says he should do this test). The doctor wanted more blood drawn to check for the deal with his iron anyway so he is slotted for a major blood draw next week.

Did I tell you he got rear-ended in my CAR!! the bumper is smashed and they called today to tell us the parts were in. The insurance will pay for a rental car for the three days mine is in the shop. I haven't really been bothered by it (only feel bad for my poor car) because I have not driven in days and days...I love pubic transit and have been riding the train or been chauffeured around by someone else. Barring that I have walked to our local shops.

My eating is totally messed up...again seems like jet lag or some other hormonal or unexplained disturbance. I worked hard to get all of my medication down the hatch this morning (it took a glass of water and my morning peppermint mocha frappe to get down three gummy bears, three prozac and the iron pill i managed to find in my bathroom cabinet when I was looking for the still missing water pills. The iron pill does not go down more easily than the iron liquid but it sure tastes a heck of a lot better.

for lunch I managed just over 1/2 a cup of salmon chowder. It was delicious! I fished out as much fish as I could get before trying a couple bites of potato. David and I then walked to a British food store to look for some Tikka Masala sauce (they didn't have it). We finally found it this evening at our local grocery store. At work I stopped in for my afternoon Grande peppermint mocha frappe and then after that proceeded to finish eating a bunch of sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds and cashews left from a trail mix bag I bought on Monday. I took the street car to the main line doing my best to avoid getting yet another coffee (I wanted to really badly and I am sure the caffeine would not have helped this situation I am in right now). At home one or two of those seeds must have gotten stuck because i had a little session with the garbage disposal (three hours after eating them!). Later in the evening there was orange juice, a mini ice cream bar and some garlic cheese curds at 10pm. I am now a bit acidy (duh I wonder why). I do know that I ingested way more calories in coffees than I did in food.

After our lunch and curry search David dropped me off at my office downtown. I had a printer to take in as our office one has not worked since I got the job. I got a free one with my new computer (yes I finally replaced the bubble ruined one). It is a sad day when the university is so broke that they won't even fix your printer and you have to resort to dragging your own in. I did some calling to get myself reinstated with privileges today (I did say they failed to submit a new contract for me and the university shut me out of every thing right?? oh and didn't pay me for two three months?) well...needless to say that is not helping my job satisfaction rating at all. I managed to get a friendly faculty ID worker but the IT guy pretty much said I was on my own and had to go through the whole process of reregistering again. I was too busy to get it done today as I went in late and sorted through a bucket load of data and spend 30 minutes trying to get my printer to actually talk to my ancient desktop at work. I finally got all of the data checked in and the printer running at 7pm.

This is what Insomnia looks like on me :)

so here i sit on the couch..David went to bed ages ago and my eyes are sprung open like they are being held with toothpicks. I just watched a real tear jerker called My Name is Khan (very good but I do like bollywood and this is a modern mix of US and Bolly :))...

My weight has dropped back down a bit....is there any more rambling I can do while I wait to get sleepy? Is anyone else awake out there? :)

Note: This stuff isn't nearly as riveting as it was when I was cavorting around the UK on vacation is it :) I hope someone is somewhere having a great vacation.
xxxooo

Sound Familiar?

2011-08-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

Monday means work day. I am full time for the next three weeks. During a particularly tedious meeting all I could think about was...GAWD I hate this job and need to find a new one. It took so much control of my mind that even my coworker questioned why I was so silent during the meeting afterwards....I was really quite active trying not to quit right then and there. The job itself is OK...it is the chaos and frankly...people.

This was all after a delicious morning coffee and a particularly relaxing train ride into town. Since we returned from the UK I have been a public transit girl and I love love riding the train into work every morning and even home. The walk is calming. I drink my coffee while walking and riding into town and have another small one (well it is sweet treat receipt season) on my walk to the train after work.

I had visions of getting rid of one of our cars even tonight.

After I arrived home I did a big clutter busting clean (It is never ending in this house) and then got all of Graces clothes out of her closet and drawers to evaluate what she needed for school shopping. The girl has a bucket load of clothes and really needs nothing. She is not happy with this idea but I a holding firm. She will get underwear, socks, and tennis shoes. She will get one outfit to wear the first day of school and that is it for quite some tie to come.

I wish my children were hyper organized :) goodness knows I am not but sheesh..it is so annoying to sort through a mess like she had in her closet. :) Tomorrow Cinda is babysitting while I am at work and she is on errand duty..shop for the few back to school things needed. Run the goodwill items out, and get paperwork to register Grace for her new school.

On the food front...My stomach has jet lag!! I am super tight in the morning, tight in the evening and starving hungry all day. It is odd and I am doing my best to eat what is right instead of what is easy in the evenings. Tonight David made a delicious BLT (not so great a choice but they were my garden grown tomatoes) plus some cheese curds this evening. It is now almost 11 and the food is showing no signs of moving through my stoma. The iron is helping me feel perky but also wrecking havoc with my bowels...aaaack. I have been a good girl though and keep taking them.

xxxooo

Sweet Saturdays of Summer

2011-08-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

I had a lovely day today. In the morning a friend and I walked to our local nail salon We had the works and for a darned reasonable price as well :) I am hooked. This place does full on soaks in fancy throne chairs, massages and wax treatments. They then slathered on lovely nail polish and then decorated my big toe with a beautiful white flower and a little tiny green rhinestone.
We then had shellac nails done. I believe I am hooked and will continue to get my nails fixed up. They last a whole month and feel like normal old nails.

I love them!

One nail :) It is really hard to take pictures of your fingernails without getting some other unattractive body bit with a computer camera :)

After our nail treatments we walked over to our organic grocery store and got a bit of lunch from the deli. The weather was wonderful today hitting almost 90 degrees f. After lunch we popped into the house we have put an offer on. It has been ticking along so long I frankly forgot how much of the house was laid out. Thankfully I still like it :).

Funnily enough while getting our nails done my friend asked me what David and I would be doing on our anniversary...um...it was today and both of us forgot. He thought it was tomorrow and I thought it was next Saturday. His weeks of vacationing and my two weeks of full on obnoxious work we both lost track of the date. I called David and informed him of our anniversary and he quickly made dinner reservations downtown.

I came home swapped into my black and white maxi dress and we were off to a fine resturant We want to a great place that from the street didn't look that great. It was in an aging hotel that look like it has recently been tarted up to be a boutique hotel but was a bit shabby looking. We had to go through the lobby to get to the restaurant. It looked really nice and stylish and was empty except for a few people in the bar. We had cheesy mushroom fondue with crustini. We had wild mushrooms with a sweet herbed sauce and smoked salmon fritters. I had a white watermelon and vodka drink while David had a nice glass of Pinot Noir. For dessert we had a cheesecake ball on strawberry rhubarb sauce with apple and balsamic vinegar gelatin cubes. David had nitro frozen lemon curd, strawberry and chocolate ice creams. I sampled all but not too much of anything. It was very very good! A rival to anything we had in the UK in fact.

Grace spent the night with a friend and so David and I walked along the river front and then went and saw the movie One Day. We then came home and took another walk around the neighborhood. It is still beautifully warm out and we are having a bit of a TV watch until it cools down.

I am glad there is one more day of my weekend left :)

xxxooo

Moan

2011-08-17T22:29:00.001-07:00

Another long day at work. I will provide details tomorrow..but lets just say I am not a happy camper.

The iron so SOOOOOOOOO nasty. I might just have to work on getting a pill form and suffer through its passage through my stoma.

I did some knitting with the local knitting group this evening...thankfully something bright in my stupid day.

Oh and did I say my ankles are the size of grapefruits? phtttttttttttt.

xxxxxooo

Holy Crapity

2011-08-16T19:45:00.001-07:00

I spent from 10:30 until 1:30 at the doctors office today. First there was the visit with my surgeon (He really is a good guy who takes all the time you need to talk). Then a trek up to what we in these parts call "the hill" to go take part in the research study I am a member of.

The Dr. was in some agreement with my primary care physician in that he said several of my blood levels were on the low side. He did however state that some of them were borderline and I could just focus on the important ones. Sadly the important ones were vitamin D and Iron. I have always been a bit low but according to the numbers I have dipped into the low realm and must take iron and get better about taking my gummy vitamins. He also said I that if these numbers don't improve I will need to take calcium and extra D. Now taking pills is not the easiest thing for me without a band and with a band it is much more difficult. I have 3 prozac to take every morning and that takes about 30 minutes to feed through (I have to take one at a time and wait for them to pass through my stoma). If I start adding more on the list I will be drinking and pill taking until lunch. I got some liquid iron to make things easier but it is soooooo nasty I am not sure I will survive the pain. :)

The doctor addressed my weight (damn scale was up to 169 in his office). He quizzed me on my liquid intake (whether I was drinking milk or juice. I do but not to excess. He offered me a fill which I declined. He offered me an unfill and I also declined it :). H said that i needed to have my follow up blood work results sent over to him.

We then talked exercise and bike-riding for the next 10 minutes. He is an avid rider and was quite interested in my bike crash in December and kept saying that biking was great even when you are old and then added...as long as you don't fall off your bike. I told him that I walked everywhere and he told me where all of the trails were from his office back to my university. He really got excited by the idea that I walked and biked and said that the key to staying successful with weight loss is exercise. It sure is a lot easier to do than formal gym stuff.

He then gave me dubious directions up to "the hill". My doctor is affiliated with OHSU and they have two campus areas. One is on the river front and the other is up a very steep hillside. the two are connected by a sky tram that doctors and patients can ride back and forth. The old research lab was in the riverfront building but they have been moved and it was a pain in the arse. I had to get a ticket to ride the tram up (fun but time consuming). I then had to ask for directions to the research building. She told me to go up a floor and then go through a connecting hallway. I ended up on a surgical ward and the nurse gave me a different set of directions. I then went outside attempting to follow my surgeons directions and finally found the place. When I got there I found that I had almost been to the connecting hallway but the nurse in the ward sent me back..Along the way I met one of my ex-students who was very happy to see me so I guess the walk was worth it.

The research appointment took an hour and a half. They drew blood, I peed into a cup. They took my body stats and then had me do a 1/4 mile walk. My stats were awesome! I had only lost 4 pounds from my last year's visit but lost a huge amount of body fat. Even the research assistant was excited by the information. My blood pressure was up (but she said any number of reasons could exist for it..I think it was the frustrating walk). I did my 1/4 mile test and my heart rate hardly went up and after a 2 minute sitdown it was back down to 55 bpm. Hoorayyyyyyyyy :)

I do like this part of the whole band thing. The numbers get better and my weight...it fluctuates but only along a narrow band and I can live with that. Ignore me if I change my tune tomorrow and moan about my weight OK?

Work last week was fun..work this week has kind of sucked (no suck is not a swear word in my book :))...I want to retire but I think just finding another job might be a better choice. I am really dreaming of a career change. Does anyone have any great ideas? Does anyone have a good job for me? :)

xxxooo

Home and Back to Work...grrr

2011-08-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

I got a very expensive haircut while hanging out with my friend in Chichester. I kind of feel like its the same hair cut as my mom has. I feel a regrow coming on. The saggy neck is not helping me feel good about my youth or lack of youth either.

We have been home for just over a week. We had jet lag. I hat to dive right back into work. Leading the workshop that I taught was fun as I like teaching. Going back to work and giving up the joyous vacation was not fun :)

I gained 5 pounds overall this vacation. I am working on getting it back off now. My band has tightened up (thankfully) as it should i think and is lending me a hand.

I finally purchased my boobs tickets. Chi-town awaits.

Tomorrow is my 3 year annual band check up. I got a call while I was gone from my GP to tell me that my blood levels were not great. Apparently I was slightly low in Iron--I have always been. She said I was slightly low in Calcium--I have always been. The funny thing is I drink and eat carloads of dairy now and hardly any diet coke or soda anymore..go figure on that one. She added that my B-12 was low. I will have to discuss that one with my band doctor (not sure what that means really). and finally my D was low (well hello..i live in Oregon..it is only normal when I have spent two months poolside). Apparently the vitamin D levels being touted by research was taken from lifeguards in Los Angeles. They are saying we should have the D levels of freaking California beach hangers...I think not. If it is way low I will take some otherwise..phttttt on low D.

I will post more tomorrow..this was just quickly to let you know I am not dead and made it home from the land of fish and chips :)

xxxooo

Just a Quicky-

2011-07-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit wild as our long (but feels like a whirlwind) vacation comes to an end. I cannot believe a month has gone by so quickly. We didn't do half of the things I was hoping to nor did I meet half the people I wanted to! We are already planning on coming back this way in the Spring (fingers crossed of course). For the first time ever I have felt completely at home here and would gladly move here given the opportunity.

Grace has had a wonderful time with her same aged cousin. I have had a wonderful time finally getting my sense of direction and ability to navigate around the South Wales area. Getting to know my sister-in-law (finally) and hanging out with my mother-in-law who is a dear. David has relaxed and avoided work (mostly) as have I.

We loved the south side of Cornwall. For the final leg of our journey I am off to Chichester for a couple of days, back to London for a few and then back on a plane to fly home.

No pictures today as they are sitting on my camera...but...soon.

So as not to ignore the topic of food or the lapband entirely here is an update. My mother in law has a wonderful scale that has provided me with a good stable 161-164(with clothes) every morning. My band has mostly behaved itself.

I had two incidents-one when I didn't eat all day and then scarfed half a sandwich containing ham...not good. Stuck and hurled into a ziplock as my poor MIL drove us home. Two-at the Eden project when I failed to resist the Cornish Scone with jam and clotted cream...I should have. At one point I thought I was good and then had to do a runner to the bathroom. It was totally an old style I ate too much PB (haven't done this in at least a year I think).

Other than these two incidences and one in iceland (another stuck) I have been totally fine. I have discovered I have a bit of an obsession with Starbucks (there are just not enough of the places over here). I know where they all are now however!! I figured out how to make a pretty good equal in the blender with 1/2 teaspoon of instant coffee, a tray of ice cubes, 4 teaspoons of nestles quick and 1 cup of milk. I would have experimented with protein powder but didn't bring any with me. This is what I have started drinking for breakfast.

David has carried on pretty well with his low glycemic diet and has done a lot of cooking so we have been pretty good with eating meals that are basically healthy for lunch and especially dinner.

I have had plenty of chocolate, ice cream, and other goodies as desired. I have indulged in my love of UK magazines, yogurts with funky good flavors and CADBURYS fruit and nut :) I have walked my butt off and enjoyed every minute of the activity now possible with this weightloss. Vacation at goal is really the best~

xxxooo

Oh What a Day-with Boobs and NSV :)

2011-07-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have three things to talk about today. I had a post all but written in my head when voila the day just kept growing and growing :)

1. I met up with Caroline and Justine at the Mall in Cribbs Causeway today. We had a nice chat about blogs, about our bands, about the UK and Boobs in Chicago. Both ladies look FAB! Both ladies are very nice :) and I always worry that I will not recognize them even though I have looked at their pictures a million times and in all of my meet-ups so far I have yet to have a failure on that score. I recognized Caroline right as she was standing outside M and S when I arrived. Justine was organized and arrived for some pre-meeting shopping :)
we did a Starbucks run (of which I was very grateful!). We had a nice-as my husband would say-knatter for a couple of hours.

From left to right: Justine, Me, and Caroline.

After I left the UK-mini-boob meet up David, His Mum, Grace and I went down to the Bristol Quay (or I think that is what it is called) and took a couple of ferry boat rides having a look at some wooden sailing ships, barges and general warm day fun being had by all of the Bristolians and vacationers. (it was really kind of chilly but apparently a bit of sunshine is all it takes for young men to remove their shirts and children to cavort in fountains here :)).

We drove back to David's mums and debated dinner (yesterday we had bouts of food poisoning and food was the furthest thing from our minds). We arrived home around 6:30 and discussed popping out to the grocery store for bread and milk..except...it is Sunday and it is after 5...both mean that all big stores are closed in the UK. All of the grocery stores advertise that they are open 24 hours but that is a little misleading. Apparently it is against the law in the UK to be open for more than 4-5 hours on a Sunday if you are a big store. According to David this is a law enforced to insure that small mom and pop corner grocery stores stay in business (who knows if this is an actual fact :)). Any how...this brings me to the NSF finally-We walked down the considerable steep hill that David's mum lives on to the corner shop. This hill has been the bane of my fat existence since I married him and visited here for the first time. He walked the mile or so to the village on this hill his whole life. I came and walked down it to the village and then almost died trying to climb back up it to his house when I was at my heaviest. I took the hill on two years ago after having kicked off 40 pounds or so last time i visited but this time...at goal...tonight...I took on that wimpy ass hill and I kicked its ass. I walked down to the corner shop. I bought a small bag of cheese and onion crisps and I ate them while I talked to David and powered up what now feels like a wimpy little hill...My exact thoughts at the time were as I approached the top...Take that you pissy little hill. Not only can I walk up you but I could have run and I also could have ridden my bike up...I kind of feel like a male dog near a fire-hydrant :)

and finally the third thing (sorry that last bit was a little long-winded). While drinking our coffee Caroline and Justine told me that I could spy on my blog stats and see who were my top visitors and what countries my readers were coming from and what my most popular blog posts were...I am a dork and supposed to be somewhat tech savvy but I have never known I could do that and never took the time to click on the perfectly obvious stats index at the top of my page. Well I came right home and clicked. As Caroline and Justine suggested that all of those porn or boob related tags result in the most traffic I was not surprised to see that my boobs and skin skin and boobs was the most popular blog post. Any way..thanks you frequent readers I now can ID you :) and more people from Indonesia read my blog than the UK (kind of a surprise).

More pictures:

I love taking pictures of David his mum and Grace walking away near each other. They walk in very similar ways and it is cute.

Grace and the stones of Avebury (much better than Stonehenge because you actually get to walk near the circle of stones and they spread out for acres).

A cool shadow picture of Grace and I while in London. I took this on the same day I was drenched and freezing. In the afternoon the sun came out and I snapped this picture with my phone. Technology and London weather are both amazing.

I Could Get Used To This

2011-07-19T13:29:00.000-07:00

I am still having fun out and around Wales and other nearby locations in England. I spent last weekend and a very beautiful manor house in the wilds of the Kington area. The House was located down very narrow lanes bordered by very high hedges teaming with rabbits, small frogs, birds and hedgehogs I am sure (I only saw the road kill during the day).

The house was as one would expect a manor house right out of some Jane Austin novel. There were two concrete dogs on either side of the front door. antique (well more like inexpensive but well placed used furniture). There as a formal living room and dining room. a large family room with a huge fireplace (and I suspect the oldest part of the house circa 1600's or older). There were loads of stairs that went up and down and around to one bedroom after another. With five couples in our party we had several good ones to choose from. David and I went with a modern one that came with an attached bathroom. Each couple chose, bought for and cooked one meal over the weekend. As David and I arrived first we chose to cook dinner on Friday. David made steaks while I did all of the chopping to make carrots, broccoli and yummy quinoa risotto.

The weather was warm at times and rainy but we all had a great time listening to music, imbibing, dancing on the front lawn, and visiting the mapa mundi in Hereford.

Saturday evening David and I took a long walk along the back lanes and watched nature. David even taught me how to play pooh sticks in a river along the way. We found tiny frogs, hawks, cows, and bunnies.

On Sunday all 10 of us went out to a local pub for lunch and had a great time talking and visiting. By Sunday evening we were all tired and snoozed and lazed about in the family room.

By Monday morning at 10am we had to leave so it was a mad dash to clean up after ourselves and get out the door. David's cold during the previous week seemed to get passed along to me and three other people who stayed with us for the weekend.

On our way home we stopped off at Hereford for some shopping and took a side trip to Gloucester to look around. We have both decided if we can somehow figure out a way to retire we are ready to leap :) This life of leisure if GREAT! We finished up the trip back to David's mums along the Severn River on the Wales side.

at the airport on our way out of Seattle.

Icebergs in the sea near Greenland.

On the bus on our way to our hotel in Iceland.

David and Grace in front of a statue along the bay in Reykjavik.

David Grace and I at the place here the North American Tectonic plate hits the European one.

A big impressive water fall.

A geyser. Apparently they are all named after the town where this one is located.

This is at night..it really never gets dark in Iceland.

The whole island is was covered in blue lupine plants.

Grace and I petting an Icelandic horse.

First attempt to get a good coffee...it was a fail but there is no Starbucks Iceland.

This place had a really similar logo however

There are vast areas of lava rock. This is out on a remote beach and behind us are some crude fisherman's cottages.

Our last morning in Iceland. I found some wonderful coffee and knitted art on a tree nearby!! I wish I had found it at the beginning of the week.

Our first morning in London and the rain was horrible. David waiting in line to get on the Eye.

Rain soaked Grace.
On the Eye but miserably cold!

One of many views from the top of the Eye.

Our last morning in London-photo of Grace and our friends' two children.

Tea and tuna sandwiches at the Welsh cultural center. Grace, David and Granny.

A small black and white house in Hereford. This was tucked back behind an alley.

All ten of us in front of the house..David Calls it the Walton's shot.

More of the front of the house.

A picture of the formal living room in the house.

I'm Here

2011-07-12T03:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been absent of late. I am VACATIONING :)...We are having a grand time running around London and now Wales. I now have reliable internet but have been trying to juggle fun and work and blogging has gone silent.

London was miserably cold and all of my summer skirts are chilly. I went shopping with my mother in law yesterday and bad news girls...In the UK I am two sizes larger!!!! There is no vanity sizing here. I went from my luxurious size 8 to a size 12. This was at a trendy store so I am hoping that if I go to a larger department store that I might get to wear at least one size smaller. Now shoes on the other hand...I wear two sizes smaller!!! I tried on a size 7 and it fit (but oddly was a bit narrow).

They cut clothing and shoes differently here so it is taking a bit of trying on to figure this out. the bust seem a bit smaller but the waist a bit more roomy. I could for example wear a 10 except for my bust (and although I still have one the girls have shrunk away quite a bit). On the shoes they offer a shoe size number and different widths (although I know they had this when I was a child I find that in the states most shoes are one width and some stores offer a wide but no series of letters like they used to.

I have not yet met up with any UK bandsters. I am hoping to set up something with Caroline in Bristol in a couple of weekends (We are going away to a country housethis weekend). I am hoping to go out to Bletchley Park (WWII code cracking museum). In any case we are here until the first week of August so I hope I can arrange to see everyone.

xxxooo

Wednesday and Saturday are party nights in Iceland

2011-07-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

It is 1am. It is still daylight. I can hear them raising a fuss. David is snoring. Grace is tossing and turning. I am in the dark typing noisily on my computer.

PDD--public displays of drunkeness. I have seen it here.

We rented a car today and drove out to some bubbling geothermal pots. We hiked up to a lighthouse with a view across the Atlantic. We then booked Grace for a horse ride and had lunch in a suburb of Reykjavik. We found a fake Starbucks (very similar logo). The food was better the coffee..not so much :(.

Grace had her horse ride and then we drove out to a black sand beach on gravel and bumpy roads. We hiked across lava beds and the coolest lava rocks rounded by the sea. We hiked out to some old abandoned fisherman's huts from the 1850's and on our way back found some very nifty shells.

We had dinner at a fishing village pub (fresh sole and chips) and then came back to our apartment. This town is hopping right now.

I am sitting up typing this hoping my meal goes through soon so I can sleep :)

xxxooo

Such News: From Iceland

2011-07-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

So when I left off my teaching week had begun. It turned out we had a wonderful time even though I was stressed out to the max over David's passport and standing up in front of the room and keeping them excited and occupied everyday for 8 hours. My teaching partner and I did an excellent job if I do say so myself (and thankfully our students agree). We integrated geometry, measurement and various physics topics quite easily and smoothly. This math/science integration thing has taken up many meeting at the university and this is our first try at really doing it.

On Thursday much to our surprise Davids passport showed up on our doorstep without any warning. The embassy never called back and when he called them they just kept repeating that the embassy would call (it was very strange but in a good sort of way). David did hear back from his childhood MP who promised to look into the issue but this was on the same day as the passport arrived and I am sure he cannot work that quickly :)

We flew to Iceland on Saturday arriving Sunday morning at 6am. although we had great hopes that we would travel to our rented apartment and lay down for a nap...nope. We could not check in until 2pm. Iceland is a party town. On Sunday morning at 8am when we hit the streets there were broken bottles and glasses all over the place and weaving people still wandering around. We walked back and forth until a bakery opened (phew) and sat for some DELICIOUS baked goods and tea for me. David came up with a smart plan to take a bus tour of town so we splashed out some cash and drove around Reykjavik twice. The first time we stayed awake and the second we stopped at the history museum and then napped back to the center of town. Thankfully by this time our beds were ready and we checked in. We fell into bed and did not leave for 12 hours.

In the middle of the night we all woke up at various points. David took a walk first then Grace woke up wanting food (thus waking me up twice). I thoughtfully brought nuts and fruit to keep myself fed between meals. Grace ate some. I had a few later in the morning (4am) and then tried to go back to sleep...not such a good idea with food in the pouch. I had reflux but the bed in this place is one of those adjustable ones and I could lift up the back so that I was sitting!!!

We woke again at 2pm Iceland time and went for lunch. We found a great restaurant and were all happy with our delicious meal. We then did some shopping, It is very expensive here!! The Krona is .009 cents on the dollar but stuff is inflated. It is also freaking cold! I brought one pair of jeans and they are going to be standing up on their own by the time I get to a washing machine. Stupidly we did not even think of coats. I brought a couple of sweaters and Grace a sweat-jacket. David did not even bring that. We bought Icelandic made gear for a small fortune but we do at least like them enough to wear them at home this winter.

We went on a bus tour this evening up to a large lake, some geyers and a huge waterfall that were all very impressive. We were grateful for the warm clothing. It was still daylight when we walked in the apartment door at midnight!

I will upload pictures when I get them off the camera.

We will arrive in London on Wednesday late. Tentative plans are to meet up with some on the 8th. does anyone have any ideas? Is there a good pub somewhere? Is Paddington the best station for all or will you all come into different stations? Email me (I have some but I will put a combined list together this time) and we can sort it out. tina@deadhat.com

xxxooo